Part Fifty-Two
"Okay, are you sure about this?" I ask Max as we pull up outside his parents' house later that morning.
He looks towards the house for a moment before nodding firmly, "Yeah, I'm sure. Let's just get this over with, shall we?"
We step out of the car and Max locks it before taking my hand in his as we walk up the path to the front door.
"What are you gonna say?" I murmur softly, as we come to a stop outside the door and Max presses the bell.
"I don't know yet," he shakes his head.
"You'll be fine." I smile, squeezing his hand reassuringly.
He might not want to admit it out loud, but I can tell that he's apprehensive, and probably quite nervous, about the whole thing.
Just then, the door opens and Mrs. Stevenson appears, "Hello, how can I help – Max?"
There's a beat of silence as she stops, her hand on the half-open door as he stares at Max in surprise.
Max clears his throat awkwardly, "Hi, Mum."
"This is a surprise," she says, her surprise quickly giving way to a smile. "We weren't expecting you."
"We were in the area," he shrugs, glancing over at me as he tightens his grip slightly on my hand. "Mum, this is Liz. My girlfriend."
"Liz?" questions Mrs. Stevenson as she turns her attention towards me. "Haven't we met before?"
Feeling Max's eyes on me, I nod, "Yes, we have – I live in Davis Hall with Isabel."
"Ah, of course, that's right," she smiles, and I catch her sending Max a speculative glance. "How are you doing, Liz?"
"I'm fine, thanks," I smile politely. "It's nice to see you again, Mrs. Stevenson."
"You too, Liz," she replies. "But please call me Diane."
"Okay," I nod.
Diane looks at us for a moment, before giving another smile and opening the door wider, "Why don't the two of you come in?"
"Thanks," I reply, as I wait for Max to take the first step inside, but he seems frozen to the spot, his expression unreadable, so I decide to make the first move, entering the house first with Max tagging along behind, our hands still clasped together.
"Why don't you go on through to the living room?" she suggests, mostly addressing me as she indicates towards the door to our left. I'm guessing that she's used to Max not being very responsive to her. "I'll just put the kettle on for some tea."
She disappears into another room, which I can only assume is the kitchen, leaving Max and I alone in the hallway. I start to make a move for the living room, but Max tugs me back.
"What's wrong?" I ask in concern.
"I don't think I can do this after all."
"Hey," I step closer to him, keeping my voice low. "You can do this, okay?"
"But what if it ruins everything?" he murmurs anxiously.
"Max, they deserve to know," I say gently. "It's not fair on them or on you to continue keeping the truth from them." I rise up on tiptoes to kiss him gently. "I'll be right here with you the whole time, okay?"
He lets out a shaky sigh, "Okay."
"Oh dear, what are you kids still doing standing out here?" tuts Diane as she emerges from the kitchen, carrying a pot of tea and some mugs on a tray. "Come and have a seat in the living room."
She breezes past us into the room, leaving us to follow behind her.
"Martin, dear," she greets Max's stepdad as we move inside the cosy living room. "You'll never guess who's dropped by to see us."
Beside me, Max exhales slowly before stepping further into the room. I stand just behind him as he greets his stepfather.
"Martin."
"Max!" exclaims Martin, his face lighting up with a friendly smile. "What brings you here?"
"We were in the area," he repeats his earlier words.
"Martin, this is Liz, Max's girlfriend," explains Diane, sending a warm smile in my direction as she places the tray down on the coffee table and takes a seat in the other armchair. "She lives in the same hall as Isabel."
"Right," smiles Martin with a nod, as he glances at me with recognition. "If I'm not mistaken, I seem to remember having a nice conversation with your father a while ago."
"Yeah," I nod. "You did."
"Why don't you both take a seat?" invites Diane warmly.
"Thanks," I smile at her, as Max gives a slight nod and leads me over to the sofa.
We sit down together on the soft cushions, but while I try my best to relax into them, Max sits straight and tense, resting our linked hands on his knee. Diane seems to notice the tension and attempts to lighten the atmosphere by offering everyone some tea.
"So," she says brightly, settling in her seat once more. "How are you, Max? Long time, no see."
"Yeah," he murmurs quietly. "I'm, uh…"
He trails off, glancing at me briefly, before letting out a sigh and turning to face Diane and Martin.
"Okay, here's the thing," he says, his voice louder and more self-assured this time. "Liz and I came here today because I have some things that I need to talk to you about…"
Diane leans forward in her chair, "Max, you know you can tell us anything, don't you? We've always told you that."
"Yeah, I know," he murmurs, looking down at our entwined hands. He looks up at Diane again, his expression uncertain, before he exhales heavily, "Shit. This is hard."
His mother frowns, "What's wrong, Max?"
I turn my gaze towards Max as his fingers tighten around mine and I hear his breathing become harsher.
"A few years ago, I went up to the attic to look for something for one of my coursework projects," he starts, his voice low, "and I came across and old diary of yours."
"Diary?" she looks confused.
"Yeah," nods Max. "I was curious, so I, um, I took a look through it, and I read some stuff that I really wish I hadn't."
"What stuff?" she asks gently, obviously trying to figure out what Max means. But it only takes a moment for the penny to drop. "You don't mean…?"
Max nods stiffly, "I know the truth about that night… the night my dad died."
"Oh, Max…" Diane shakes her head, her hand coming up to cover her mouth.
He sucks in a shaky breath, "I know that you two were having an affair. And I know that you were… together… that night."
"Oh, sweetheart," murmurs Diane, and I see unshed tears shining in her eyes as she exchanges a meaningful glance with her husband. "I'm so sorry you had to find out like that. Is this why you've been shutting us out all this time?"
Max doesn't answer, but just looks up at her, a hurt expression on his face, "How could you do that, Mum? How could you do that to Dad? If you had come home that night instead of being with him," he nods towards his stepfather. "Dad wouldn't have gone out to look for you and he wouldn't have been in that crash."
"Listen," she says, sitting forward in her seat. "It wasn't as simple as all that. There's more to the story than you know."
Max snorts.
"Oh, I think I know a fair amount of it. Let's see," he releases my hand and starts counting on his fingers, "you had an affair behind Dad's back; instead of working late that night, you were shacking up with him; Dad died because he was worried about where you were and went out to look for you; and as he lay dying in that car, you two were busy conceiving a child - Isabel."
Diane sighs, leaning forward so that she is only a couple of feet away from us.
"Max, how much of the diary did you actually read?"
"Enough," he makes a face. "Well, as much as I could stomach anyway."
"Honey, the truth is that, well, things hadn't been working between your dad and I for a while," admits Diane softly. "We tried to work things out; we took holidays together and tried marriage counselling for a while… we even thought that a baby – you – would bring us closer together, but the truth was, we just weren't compatible."
"What, so that makes having an affair, okay, does it?" Max practically spits out. "'Oh, well, it's not working out anyway, so why not go behind Philip's back and commit adultery?' – is that it?"
"That's not how it was," Diane explains calmly, and I have to admire her for keeping her cool. "You don't know the whole story, Max. All you know is what you read in that diary – the diary in which my therapist suggested I write down my account of that night to help me deal with Philip's death."
Max is silent for a moment as he takes that in, but then his eyebrows raise expectantly as he asks, "So what is the whole story then?"
Diane looks to Martin again, who nods in agreement, and then exhales slowly, "Your father knew, Max. He knew about Martin… and about my relationship with him."
"What?" exclaims Max sharply, his face paling in response as I blink in surprise. "What do you mean, he knew?"
"Philip and I were honest with each other about everything," she admits. "I met Martin during a work conference just after your second birthday. At first, we were just work colleagues and friends, but a few weeks later, I realised that I was falling for him. My relationship with your dad wasn't much of anything by that point – we were friends, don't get me wrong, but we both agreed that we weren't meant to be together in the romantic sense and that if either of us met anyone else, we would be honest about it."
"I don't understand…" Max looks lost and seems thoroughly confused now. I slip my fingers between his once more and give his hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze. "You just told him that you were falling in love with someone else and he was okay with it?"
"Well, yes," says Diane. "Of course, it wasn't easy for either of us, especially when we had you to think about as well – our pride and joy – but at the end of the day, we'd agreed not to keep secrets from each other."
"I can't believe this," murmurs Max, glancing down at our joined hands for a moment. "He just sat back and did nothing while you were with another man?" He frowns in confusion, "But if he knew, then why did he think you were working late that night? Why was he out in the car looking for you if he knew you were with Martin?"
Diane lets out a shaky breath, causing Martin to lean over and lay a hand on her arm, "I was working late that night, and that's what I told your dad, but then Martin surprised me at work and we spent the evening together at his house. Philip and I had an arrangement that we would always call if we weren't going to be home when we said we would, but that night I forgot to call. He didn't know that I was with Martin and so when I didn't come home from work, he thought something had happened to me, so he got in the car and went looking for me." She stops for a moment to take a calming breath, as a tear escapes from her eye, "Afterwards, all I could think about was that I hadn't called him; he was in that crash because I forgot to pick up the phone and make one simple call."
"Hey, it's okay," murmurs Martin soothingly, rubbing Diane's arm comfortingly as her voice catches. He turns to Max for a moment, "Your dad's death was hard on all of us, Max. Your mother may not have been in love with him anymore, but she did care for him very much… and I certainly didn't wish for anything to happen to him."
Diane nods. "After Philip… passed away… all I wanted was for you not to suffer because of it, Max. At first, I struggled to come to terms with the accident and Martin and I broke up for a while, but then I found out I was pregnant and it made me realise that I truly loved Martin."
Max makes a face, "You married him barely six months after Dad died. Wasn't that kind of disrespectful?"
"You have to understand, Max," sighs Diane, reaching up to brush her tears from her face. "I wanted to give my children the most stable life I could. Perhaps if I hadn't been pregnant, it might not have happened so soon afterwards, but it would have eventually. I wanted to give you a father figure and I also didn't want your sister to be born out of wedlock… so we decided to get married."
Max nods slowly, although his grip on my hand increases slightly as he does so, causing me to look over at him in concern. He drops his eyes to his lap again and I frown as I witness a tear leaking from his eye and making its way down his cheek as he sucks in a shaky breath.
"Max?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper. "You okay?"
He exhales heavily, glancing at me with tears in his eyes, before he starts to speak.
"I've been so angry all this time," he murmurs, his voice cracking slightly as he talks to Diane. "I've been angry with you, with Martin, even with Isabel, because you all were the reason that I didn't have a father."
"Max, honey, you do have a father," she tells him softly.
"Him?" he nods towards Martin, an incredulous look on his face. "He's not my father."
"Okay, so Martin may not be your biological father, Max, but he is your father in every other way that counts," says Diane. "He loves you and has raised you like his own son for the past twenty years."
He presses his lips tightly together, his brows furrowing with emotion.
"All I wanted, all my life was to have my real dad back," he says, his words coming out as a shaky sob. "It was bad enough that he died before I was old enough to remember him, but to find out the actual circumstances of his death… God, I just couldn't handle it."
I can only watch, rubbing his arm comfortingly with my free hand as he breaks down, his shoulders shaking with emotion and tears sliding down over his cheeks as his chest rises and falls with hiccupping sobs.
"Oh, sweetheart," murmurs Diane, moving to sit on the other side of her son as she slides her arm around him, hugging him to the side of her body. "I'm so sorry. You've been carrying this around on your shoulders for so long. I should have realised that something was wrong, but we assumed that you were just experiencing the usual teenage angst – we should have tried to help you instead." She sighs softly, tightening her embrace around Max slightly, "Why didn't you say something when you found out? You could have talked to us about it, you know."
"I didn't know what to do," he admits in a barely audible mumble, as he lifts his free hand to wipe the tears from his face. My heart clenches in sympathy for him. "All I could see was the three of you being this happy, real, blood-related family… and I just felt like the outcast; like I didn't belong."
"Of course you belonged, Max," Diane murmurs, her expression sad. "You're as much a part of this family as the rest of us."
"Max," says Martin then, shifting forward in his seat and resting his arms on his knees. "I know I'm not your father and I would never wish to replace him in your eyes, but I do love you very much… I love you like you're my own son… and you are and have always been a valued member of this family."
"Even when I was being a complete bastard to everyone?"
Martin smiles, catching Diane's eye as they share a look, "Yes, even then."
"You have no idea how much it pained us to see you drifting away, refusing to speak with us, and having no idea why," adds Diane. "We wanted to help you, but we didn't know how – you were so stubborn and determined to be strong and not to let anyone in."
"I'm sorry," mumbles Max then, his eyes fixed on his lap again. "I've made such a mess of things, haven't I?"
Diane shakes her head, "You're only human, Max. We all make mistakes."
Max nods, although I'm not sure that he really believes what Diane is saying. He looks so dejected and broken that it's all I can do not to reach out to wrap my arms around him, holding him to me as tightly as I can and never let go… although, somehow I don't think that would be very appropriate in front of his parents.
"But I was so wrong about everything," he lifts his head to look up at her. "All this time, I've been blaming you for ruining it all… Dad's life, my life, all of it. I was so hurt and angry that I could barely even stomach being in the same room as any of you."
"It's okay to be hurt and angry," assures Diane. "It must have been a big shock for you to read what I had written."
"Yeah," he nods.
"But now that you know the truth, we can start dealing with it… together… okay?" she smiles softly.
Max nods again, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, "Okay."
"Okay."
There's a moment of silence as the significance of the conversation sinks in, before Diane gently removes her arm from Max's shoulder and sits up straight.
"Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I'm getting hungry," she announces. "Max, would you and Liz like to stay for some lunch?"
Max looks at me questioningly, but I just smile and nod, "That would be lovely, Diane… if that's alright with Max?"
"Yeah," he nods, giving me a small smile, before turning back to his mother. "That's okay with me."
"Great," she smiles. "Let me just go and see what we have in the kitchen… Martin would you give me a hand with this tray?"
She smiles at her husband who nods, reaching for the barely-touched mugs of tea on the coffee table and the two of them head out of the room, leaving Max and I alone.
"Are you okay?" I ask softly, letting my thumb run over the back of his hand in a soothing gesture.
"I don't know," he sighs, glancing over at me briefly. "This is all just so much to take in."
"I know," I murmur. "But at least you know the whole truth now."
"Yeah, I guess," he shrugs, his expression sombre and his shoulders slumped.
"Hey," I murmur gently, "you did the right thing here; you talked to them, you got out your frustrations. Now you have the chance to work through your issues properly."
"I feel like crap," he admits, shaking his head. "Everything I put them through… God…"
"Hey, it's okay," I soothe, releasing my hand from his as I shift on the sofa to face him. "Come here."
With a smile, I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck in a comforting hug. He's stiff against me for a moment, before I feel his body relax and his arms come around me, holding me tight against him. I close my eyes and a small smile tugs at my lips as I feel Max rest his forehead against my shoulder as he inhales slowly and then lets out a heavy, shaky breath.
"It's gonna be okay," I tell him when we part several long seconds later.
I look up into his eyes as I lift my hand to his hair, running my fingers through his soft locks. I give him a reassuring smile before leaning in and lightly brushing my lips against his.
"You'll be fine."
We sit together in relative silence for a few minutes, before Diane calls us into the dining room for lunch.
"So, Liz, how did you and my son meet?" she asks with a casual smile as she dishes some salad out onto her plate and then hands the salad bowl to Martin.
"Well, actually, we first met at a club in Fresher's Week back in October," I tell her, as I debate how much of the story to reveal. "But we didn't get together until just before the Easter holidays."
"Ah," nods Diane, as a wistful look appears on her face. "At first, I assumed you had met through Isabel, but then, I don't think Max really spends much time with his sister these days."
"Hey, I am right here, you know?" grumbles Max, only half-seriously, as he cuts up a piece of cold ham. "You don't have to talk about me like I'm not."
"I'm sorry, dear," smiles Diane sympathetically. "I'm just trying to get to know your girlfriend." She turns back to me, "What were you saying, Liz?"
I glance at Max quickly, but he's pretending to be fully engrossed in his lunch, so I start talking again.
"I actually didn't know that Max and Isabel were related until just before Max and I got together," I explain.
She nods, "So, what are you studying at university, Liz?"
"Oh, um, Biology," I tell her, a little surprised by the sudden change in conversation direction.
Diane's eyes widen, her smile widening, "Wow, a scientist. Max, I'm impressed."
"Can we change the subject, please?" I look over at Max again and hide a smile as I see him rolling his eyes.
Diane notices too and gives a light chuckle, "Okay, then. So tell me, what are you two doing so far from uni?"
Beside me, Max relaxes a little and gives me a small smile, "Well, it was Liz's birthday yesterday, so I surprised her with a trip to Alton Towers."
We proceed to fill her and Martin in on our eventful day yesterday; leaving out the more… personal… parts of course, and by the time we've finished lunch and Max and I prepare to return home, the atmosphere between Max and his parents has lightened considerably. The seem to be getting on much better now, although there is still some tension between him and his step-dad, but overall I think Max is starting to come to terms with things.
The journey back home is fairly uneventful, with both of us tired from the events of the past thirty-six hours. Max is uncharacteristically quiet for much of the time, his eyes fixed on the road and his face pretty much expressionless, but that's understandable after his conversation with Diane and Martin this morning. He must have a lot on his mind right now.
As we drive, I content myself with flicking through a magazine that I picked up at a petrol station earlier as I half-listen to the radio. However, about two-thirds of the way back home, Max suddenly decides to pull off the motorway and stop at the services. He pulls into a space in the car park, but when he doesn't make a move to get out of the car, I look over at him in confusion to find his hands gripping the steering wheel, his breathing heavy as he stares out of the windscreen.
"Max?" I wonder with a concerned frown. "You okay?"
He doesn't look at me, but instead just shakes his head and mutters one word, "Isabel."
"What?"
"I told Isabel what I found in that diary, remember?" he elaborates, finally turning his face in my direction, his eyes full of guilt. "God, she thinks she's the result of an adulterous affair."
"Oh," I murmur in understanding.
"Shit!" he exclaims, suddenly thumping the steering wheel with his fist in frustration. "I've screwed everything up."
"No, you haven't," I tell him softly, turning in my seat to face him as I reach out to rest a comforting hand on his lower arm. "You made a mistake, but it's not the end of the world. We'll just explain to her that you got it wrong; I'm sure she'll understand."
He sighs heavily, letting his head fall back against the headrest as he runs a frustrated hand through his hair, "My life is such a total fucking mess."
"No, it's not, Max," I deny softly. "You're just dealing with a lot right now."
"I don't know," he murmurs. "Sometimes it feels like it's never gonna end."
I nod, "Okay, so it might take some time, but you'll get through it and it'll all be okay. I know it."
He gives a humourless chuckle, "I wish I had your optimism."
"You'll be fine, Max," I assure him again, giving a small smile. "Come on, let's get out of this car for a bit. How about we go get a coffee or something?"
He nods and with another sigh, he opens his door and climbs out of the car. I follow suit and we head for the coffee bar inside the service station building. After ordering a strong coffee (for Max), a hot chocolate with whipped cream (for me) and a double chocolate muffin (to share), we settle down on one of the comfy sofas to enjoy them. We don't talk much as we eat and drink, at least not about anything too heavy, and the short break from driving causes the slightly sombre atmosphere between us to dissipate. Once we've finished the muffin and our drinks, I decide to pay a visit to the loo, while Max goes outside for a quick cigarette.
On my way back from the bathroom, I pop into the shop and purchase another magazine and a bottle of water for the rest of the journey back and by the time I make it back outside, Max is almost ready to go. I smile and wait patiently for him to finish his cigarette, before turning to head back to the car again. However, I barely manage to take two steps before I feel his hand on my arm, preventing me from going any further, as he spins me around to face him.
"Thank you," he says sincerely. "For coming with me today. I'm really glad you were there."
I smile softly, "It was my pleasure, Max. I didn't want you to have to face it all alone."
He nods, his expression serious, "It means a lot."
I nod, but before I have a chance to reply, his arms come around me, crushing my body against his in a warm, tight hug. Wrapping my arms around him, the bag containing my magazine and water dangling from my wrist, I let myself sink into his embrace. My stomach gives a little flip in response to the feel of his body so close to me and I close my eyes, a smile on my face. The hug seems to go on forever, although it's probably only been a minute or so, and when we part, Max looks down at me tenderly, his fingers lightly brushing my cheek as he leans down and covers my lips with his. For a brief moment, I savour the feel of his mouth against mine, but then the smell of smoke and taste of tobacco hit me and I pull away.
"Ugh, Max, you taste of fags," I scrunch my nose up in mock-disgust. "We have to get you to stop smoking."
He looks down at me with a twinkle in his eye – one that he been noticeably absent lately – and pouts, "Aww, but what if I don't want to?"
I raise an eyebrow as I try not to grin, "Well, it's either that or I'm gonna have to restrict your kissing privileges."
"No, that's not fair – you can't do that!" he protests, his eyes wide with mock-outrage.
"Just you wait," I reply with a grin.
He looks down at me with narrowed eyes for a moment, before flashing me a smile and slipping his arm around my shoulders as we head back towards the car, "I'll do my best, Liz, but I can't promise anything."
We get back into the car and set off again, the atmosphere a little lighter now than before. About an hour and a half later, Max pulls into the small car park outside my hall to drop me off so I can prepare for the big night out with my friends tonight. As he turns off the ignition, I turn to him with a smile.
"Thank you for an amazing birthday surprise, Max," I tell him softly. "I had a great time."
"It was my pleasure," he returns the smile. "I'm glad you had fun. And thank you, for coming with me today."
"It was my pleasure."
We share a quick grin and I lean forward to kiss him one more time before I have to leave his company and go inside.
"I'll see you later?" I ask as I reach for my bag and prepare to get out of the car. I've invited him to join us for the rest of my birthday celebrations tonight.
"Yep," he nods with a smile. "Just give me a call when you're ready and I'll come and meet you."
"Great, see you soon, then."
We share one last kiss before I reach for the door handle and get out of the car. As I wave goodbye and watch him drive away from the hall and down the driveway, I let out a contemplative sigh. It's really been a crazy couple of days, but I really hope that Max's conversation with his parents was worth it and that he can now start working through his emotions properly. All I want is for him to be happy and at peace with himself and his family.
TBC…
