A/N: Yo. Thanks for reading. Whatever you do, don't hold a cup of hot water in your hand when reading. You will drop it. And I will not be taking responsibility for burnt limbs.
If you too have read this story in a short amount of days from 1 to current: YOU. ARE. AWESOME!
That's some insane reading! A* (^_^)/
Disclaimer: When I asked Takeshi Konomi where the hell Shuusuke Fuji-senpai came from, he said I was trapped in an alternative reality that consisted of Prince of Tennis. (disillusioned randomness)
Chapter Fifty Two
It took Tezuka two days to make up his mind:
- Day One -
"Tezuka-san, did you hear a word I just said!"
Tezuka looked up slowly from his seat. He heard Ryuzaki-sensei's voice but he didn't know how to answer. He never expected his foolishness to result in this.
"This is serious Tezuka-san. If you don't decide, I'll decide for you. I want your answer before the end of the week, preferable before the girls' tournament. We have to get your shoulder looked at by a specialist and soon. I don't know where you got such a reckless spirit from…" Ryuzaki went off on a ramble as she flipped through the pile of papers in front of her. Out of all of the places Tezuka could go off to, she found two that she liked.
Tezuka could barely keep his eyes open. It was another sleepless night for him. This time the physical pain accompanied the emotional pain. He sighed, not feeling comfortable sitting down. He was restless and agitated. He got up to leave. He still needed to think. Now with a new pressure on his mind, he didn't want to sit and listen to anyone just yet.
Tezuka closed the door to Ryuzaki-sensei's office. It was the clicking of the lock that made her glance up to find he had left his seat. By the time she bellowed out his name, he was already walking up the stairs to the roof of the school.
Luckily, the door was unlocked. He opened it and a gush of cool air greeted him. It ruffed his hair and uniform as he didn't have his jacket on. He shielded his glasses and made his way towards the fence. There was another boy, smoking just by the threshold. They glanced each other and saw the same expression on each other's face. A sense of lack. Tezuka wasn't in the mood to chase him away and so walked over to the fence and leant into it with both his hands in his pockets. The boy and the pungent smell of menthol cigarettes kept him company.
Was school ever meant to be this complicated? He only wanted to study, get good grades, excel at sports and possibly find a girl… so why did life seem to twist that? He shook his head. Should he really be complaining about the quality of his life at fifteen? If he continued he'd turn into an old man too soon.
But… he didn't know it would be this out of sync with his simple plan. Now he had to make a choice weather to leave the country or not. But the worse of his worries was Fuji.
He closed his eyes. He couldn't ignore what was on his heart. Like the pain in his shoulder, the suffering in his heart took the control away from his mind and demanded that he listen to how broke and sad it was. It was willing to give so much to her, yet her eyes looked to someone else.
Tezuka tapped his chest. His own heart was killing him. Not literally! But, every time it asked to be heard there would be a sad energy in him that fluttered around in his blood, and he didn't know what to do. Could he really not forgive her for making his heart cry? Shouldn't he be a man? Forgive and forget? Mistakes happening. Such is life?
It was easy to make those choices up on the pinnacle of the school building. Up on the roof everything felt insignificant. He cased his gaze down. Was it a coincident that he saw the tennis courts?
The boys' courts were empty. The guys were off bowling… of all the things. Oishi better not let his guard down, he thought. Tezuka heard the light screams from the girls who came to support his team yesterday. He was encouraged by their support. They brought an odd level of excitement to the game. The kind of excitement that made you want to show off in front of them. He opened his eyes slowly… was that the boy in him again? He really needed to keep an eye on that part of him less he does something silly again.
From below, Tezuka could hear Arai yelling for the girls to line up. Tezuka took his hands out of his pockets and held onto the fence. Why did she just grab his attention? Leiko Arai. Tezuka didn't really know all that much about her before this year. If not for her younger brother he wouldn't have paid all that much attention to her. This year she had spoken to him many times and they had some good but pointless conversations. After seeing that picture, he questioned why she gave it to him. How that he knew what it was… what exactly was she hoping for? Did she really care all that much for Fuji? Or was there something else? Tezuka watched them for a while more and waited until they finished their practise session before leaving the calm of the roof to ask her a few things.
* * *
"Come on you lot! Tomorrow's our last day of practise." Arai shouted as she smashed the ball across to Jinhana.
Had she not looked across at the other courts, Arai would have got hit by a stray ball again. She lifted her racket up in time to avoid a direct it.
"Goddamn it Yokoishi-san! Why do you keep doing this?"
Yokoishi shrugged a flimsy response and gestured for the ball back. Arai refused and carried on with her game.
Fuji watched them from the bench. She didn't have it in her to practise, unlike the others, having watched the boys' game they were all fired up. No one really paid attention to her.
The end of the practise came too soon for some of them. They begged to play for a bit longer but Arai shooed them off into the changing rooms. They didn't argue and went to get changed. Arai glanced over at Fuji. Too late for that kind of face, Fuji-chan, Arai thought. But she didn't really know why Atobe dedicated the game to her. Frankly she didn't care. She just wanted Tezuka to look at the picture and reject her. That would make her day. That would give her a moment of revenge and satisfaction. So why did she too feel sad inside? Once all the regulars were off the courts she supervised the year sevens with the equipment. Having ripped a net, Ryuzaki-sensei didn't want them packing the items away without someone watching, so as well as locking up Arai had to baby sit.
While she waited she sat herself down on one of the benches and sighed loudly. Nothing in particular was on her mind, she just didn't want to close up today especially that Nariko was going to hang about for an hour's extra practise. Arai lowered her head into her hands. She felt exhausted after going all out against Jinhana and fending off Yokoishi.
"What was her problem anyway…" She murmured.
"Arai-chan, see you tomorrow!" Kikumaru called as she left the changing room with Fuji and Shikawara.
"Yeah… yeah, see'ya!" She didn't have the energy to call back.
"We've finished Arai-senpai." The year sevens called and rushed off to get changed. Arai jumped up and pulled her skirt down. She walked off the courts and locked the door behind her. Nariko said she'd use the wall today. With that much done Arai went to get changed. She had to wait for the last of the year sevens to leave before she changed into her uniform. She didn't bother with the neck bow and placed it in her bag, leaving her neck bare and open. She stood for a moment. She felt restricted still. She putted her hair band out and let her long black hair fall down her back. It felt nicer like that. She zipped up her tennis bag and left it on the bench. She sat down for a bit and thought back to the boys' match yesterday and signed softly. She thought it was amazing that Fuji kept her cool, but she was amazing how she was able to keep the cool… a little. If not for Umeko on her left and Kikumaru on her right Arai would have yelled at Atobe to get off the court. She sighed again. It didn't help that Yokoishi was deliberately attacking her and acting as if it was nothing. Arai felt annoyed and also on the edge. Unlike her captain, she just needed that last thing to make her erupt. But she was happy about one thing, Tezuka got to see for himself how close the two had gotten. She didn't know if Tezuka had seen the picture yet, or at all. The way he acted when she gave it to him would suggest that he threw it away. At least now he'd knows.
Arai now felt dispirited inside. It wasn't a feeling she felt often so she had to move before it got the better of her, and decided to carry herself off to the library to study for maths.
She left her tennis bag in the room, she come back for it after Nariko found her. She left the room and closed the door behind her.
"Arai-san."
She jumped (she always would) when she heard that voice. She staggered back. Once she saw who it was, she took a few more steps back. She fixed her hair in place and met his eyes. They were sore and distance. She looked away quickly.
"You… you scared me." He dropped her hand down on her chest and breathed loudly.
"Sorry. I wanted to ask you something."
"But are you okay? It looked as if you really hurt your arm yesterday."
Tezuka noticed her hair. He didn't realise it was that long. "It's a bad injury so far as tennis is concerned."
"So you really won't be playing in the tournament after this? I can't believe something like that happened to you. It was a great shock hearing that story from Kikumaru-chan."
Arai lifted her school bag over her shoulder and pulled her shirt closed a little. After all, Tezuka looked down on her. "Did you want something from me?"
"Yeah. There's a lot that I need to think about and I would like to know why you gave me that picture?"
"Why?" She stepped back and thought about it. She had a reason, a good one in fact but she didn't want to tell him. Though, she wasn't feeling herself. At all! "Because Fuji-chan only listens to you."
"But, it wasn't something you would show other people unless you were hoping for something more damaging."
"So what if I was!" She couldn't hold herself back. "Nobody even understands."
Tezuka could see she was holding on to something, which annoyed him. Why did people do that to him? He took a step forward. "Understands what?"
"I've had a really bad day, okay. I don't want to get into the details." She wanted to walk off but his voice called her back.
"You showed me a really distasteful picture Arai-san. Right now I feel as if what you did showed me an ugly side to you."
Ugly? Arai's eyes darted from left to right. Why did that prick her nerves? She wasn't ugly. She took a deep breath when a lump developed in her throat. He's testing me, she decided. She couldn't look at him. She was tired, dejected and sad. If she looked at him she would cry. What the hell was this feeling? She didn't know and it bothered her so much. She wiped her forehead and held tightly onto her bag.
"… Why is it every time we talk you say mean things to me. I may be an aggressive and loud person but there is a limit to what I can take on the inside. I know I shout all the time but I know who I am and I'm not ugly. Don't tell me I'm ugly. I understand that I'm not small and cute like the other girls… I'm not ugly." She coughed that lump away but it only got bigger. That sadness had got the better of her. Just like when she gave the picture to Tezuka, she rambled.
"Is it wrong for me to think that?" Tezuka told her.
Arai yelled at him. "I don't want to hear that from you!"
"Why?"
"Because I like you! I really, really like you. So much that it hurts."
Tezuka widened his eyes. He didn't expect that. It didn't help his guilt at all when she started crying.
"Out of all the girls in the school who like you, she was the one you picked and look at what she did! Why should she get away with it? Why? You came to me to try and blame me even before you've spoken to her because you want me to be the bad one here. I'm not the one getting hickeys from a pig in another school! I'm not the one going behind your back and acting as if everything is fine once I'm in front of you. I would never do a thing like that to you, so why should she get away with it. I couldn't understand why I was so annoyed today. It's because everyone treats her differently." She turned her tear filled eyes up to him he felt someone for her. "Why does everyone treat her differently? Are you telling me you'd let her get away with that? So much so that you would come to me and tell me I'm ugly?"
"I'm sorry."
She would have rebuked him had she not felt his finger brush across her cheek. He wiped the tears away from her left cheek, and did the same to her right. Arai widened her eyes when she understood what was happening and frozen. Not in a million years would she expect him to ever touch her.
"You're not ugly Arai-chan."
She nearly held her breath for a moment. He call her 'chan'? Maybe it was just for a moment but it felt amazing. But why?
'Why' was the very question Tezuka was asking himself. Why was the wrong person telling him the right things? It grabbed him. Made him curious. He didn't know Arai liked him. It never crossed his mind. But… he liked the fact she told him. The boy in him was curious. Very curious. He didn't know it would feel this good to be told you were liked by someone. It made all the bad emotion exit through his skin for this new and unexpected feeling that made him shake and feel heated… Still… she was the wrong one. Without thinking he brushed her black hair with the tips of his fingers. Though black, it was very soft. He followed it down to her hip and let go.
...She was the wrong one...
... wasn't she?
"Sorry, I never meant to say that stuff. I've-I've had a bad day and - I need to go. Bye Tezuka-san." She turned quickly, leaving Tezuka's hand hovering in her air. He watched her walking away with stiff but model-like steps.
…tbc…
A/N2: Did you see what I did there? Did you? I'm so evil! Is Tezuka also having a change of heart?! Or can he keep the boy in him under control? Bwahahah!
I never meant to split it in to two but I wanted chapter 52 to hit home.
Chapter 53: Day two, hand on heart - TEZUKA FINALLY TALKS TO FUJI, but will Fuji talk back?! (Jeeze talk about taking a year and then some) Soz T_T
Haven't written it yet, be patient. (^3^) x
