Here's the next chapter! Enjoy! I do not own Catching Fire any direct quotes will be in italics.


Ch. 50

When Katniss and I hear we won't have to work with Haymitch and Effie today we silently jump with joy. I'd much rather spend my last full day not focusing on what is to come. I want to forget about the stupid mistakes I made and how hard I was going to have to work and how unfair this world really is and just spend time with Katniss while I can.

We gather a bunch of food, get a few blankets and go to the roof where no one will bother us. I know this picnic we are having will last the whole day and it's nice; a glimpse into the future I'll never have. I wonder if she'll spend days like this with Gale? Filled with laughter and chatter and happiness even though every thing behind us is sorrow.

"You know how many times I almost walked up to you and just told you?" I say after playing a game with the force field around the roof. We were talking about last year's interviews and how different they would probably be this year. This of course moved to the giant bomb I had dropped then.

"No, but why didn't you?" She asks after letting out a giggle.

"I don't know. You're so intimidating. Everyone knew you went out into the woods. That takes initiative. I guess I was just afraid you'd turn your nose up to me." I say and sit down next her and she lays her head in my lap and smiles.

"I don't know, I might have said something to you." She pauses and smiles up at me, "Things might be different." She says. I have thought that multiple times, especially back before we had even entered the arena.

"Would they though? If you had known, would Prim's name not be called, and then mine not called either. I just don't see how something so small could have changed the reaping." That's the conclusion I came to, maybe to save me from a guilty conscience, but it sounded good.

"It's not small Peeta, your love for me is the biggest thing I know." Katniss stumbles across those words and her eyes don't meet mine as they're muttered, but I know she means them.

"Yeah, but, it wouldn't change which slip Effie reached for." I say.

"You never know, crazier things have happened." Katniss whispers. Crazier things have happened, but that's the past I can't go back and proclaim my love for Katniss years earlier. It's already happened. But if I could go back and time and fix all of this, I would.

We sit in silence for a while and I push Katniss's hair off her forehead. I lean down and kiss is gently, soaking her all in. I will never forget her, even in my death.

Moments like these remind me of our cave in the arena, our home for those couple days. Our home that brought us together, mended us so it would be nearly impossible to breath with out the other. "Do you ever think of the cave?" I say, she looks up from a daydream and her bright grey eyes bore into mine.

"I don't like to. It brings back bad memories." I know she doesn't mean the moments passed in between us, but the other things, Rue dying, the horrid tracker jackers, the cave was the only good thing there.

"Yeah, but do ever just forget about everything else and remember the cave?" I say. I guess maybe it had a different meaning for me, even if it's slightly tainted after the train ride home.

"Peeta, you almost died in there. Why would I want to remember that?" It was different. When I thought of the cave I thought of our first kiss and the moments in each other's arms and the story of Prim's goat and the caresses and all the beautiful things. Katniss didn't, she saw the pain, my near death, the cut across her forehead, the damp nights. Two totally different things happening all at one time.

"I don't know." I whisper and that's the last time I mention our past games. After that we forget for just a second about what has happened to us and what is going to happen and we just live in the moment. I guess if I had actually thought about it, it would be painful because this is what we could have been.

If I wasn't going to die, this is how our life would be. We would be happy, we would laugh, we would play games, have picnics, it wouldn't be a bad life. I could picture it, us with kids and then later us with grey hair, hand in hand. I forgot that I couldn't have that. I let my mind wander and I actually let myself believe it.

She sits putting together a crown of flowers in her lap and I play with her hair, braiding it and claiming I'm practicing my knot tying. It's nice. I forget that we're at the Capitol and that tomorrow we have to have an interview in front of the country. I forget that we're victors. I forget I'll never see my family again. I forget all the troubles in my life and I let this happen.

But then it comes up on me, the feeling that this might be my very last time I'll have complete privacy with Katniss. I feel the seconds go by too fast and the time passing with out a care; I wish I could just stop it. So I try it, I pause and hope the whole world will do the same, but it doesn't. The universe doesn't let me have my way; not that it ever has.

"What?" Katniss asks, wondering why I've set down her hair.

"I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever." I say. I imagine Katniss will react to it the same way she always does whenever I say cheesy and romantic like that, but she doesn't.

"Okay." She says, and I can hear the yearning in her voice for it as well, though she hides it as best as she can.

"Then you'll allow it?" I say with a smile.

"I'll allow it." She whispers. But the universe doesn't listen to her either because time goes on.

When it's time for dinner we don't go, we stay right where we are and watch the sunset and let the warmth of each other melt into our bodies. We don't leave the roof until it's really dark and we're tired, even then I'm not ready to let go of these moments.


I hope you liked it! I was really excited to write this one, so I hope you were excited to read it! Don't forget to REVIEW on the way out! Thanks! ~boywithbreadlover