Chapter Forty-Four: Wolf in the Fold

As they reached the door, Rinoa silently fumbled for her house key. She already knew that both Squall and Zell would be out of sight; her earlier phone call assured as much. Hopefully, she had given them a little more time to prepare for Zone's arrival than this morning. She also hoped that they found themselves a more comfortable hiding spot then when bad timing and lack of options forced the duo into the closet. Then again, looking back that was funny as hell, although she would never admit that to them.

She couldn't believe the things that had happened in her life and this latest chain of events was clearly no exception. Rinoa only hoped that she could find a polite way to break away from Zone as she had a feeling that he wouldn't give up so easily.

"I wanted to thank you for this evening. It really was good to have a change of scenery."

She had at least offered him the truth this time - as it was nice to have a change of scenery. It was just everything else about the date that turned out rather unfortunate in her opinion.

Responding with a silent nod, Zone casually stood with his hands in his pockets. She knew that he was most likely contemplating his next move. Sadly, she was also contemplating hers.

The door opened with a small click and she turned her back to him. Rinoa closed her eyes, trying to sort through emotions and fight the hollowness inside. Her fingers gingerly pressed against the door before opening it slowly. She found herself dreading the minutes to come. Her eyes scanned the room, making sure the coast was clear. She knew it would be, but right now, she found that she needed that extra reassurance in life.

Making it a few steps, Rinoa tossed her purse on a nearby desk. She wasn't surprised when he had followed her inside. In fact, she would have been shocked if hadn't. She just hadn't found the nerve to turn around and face him yet. Unfortunately for her, he finally spoke the words…the ones that she already knew would come in one form or another.

"Rinoa, I'm really glad you had a good time this evening, I did too. I really think you made some good steps forward. I don't want you to lose sight of everything we accomplished together but… it never hurts to lighten the mood, right? So how about we turn this night around, I'll make a pot of coffee and then we'll find something on television."

His voice had already changed from a somber to a more upbeat tone. Now he just seemed outright hopeful.

"Come on, it's late enough so all those low-budget horror flicks should be starting. Together we can laugh at the bad acting and horrid plotlines. You know, just like the good ol' days? Honestly... who could ever forget the night we watched Cactuar Island version 3.0: Revenge of the Cybernetic Plants? I don't know about you, but I'll never look at a Cactus Thorn in the same way again – innocent item for crafting or bludgeoning instrument of doom? Plus, as an added bonus to sweeten the pot, I'll even make popcorn with extra butter – just the way you like it."

He paused as he moved forward, forcing her to make eye contact. She had to shy away; he had looked so hopeful, and now she was going to take that away.

"Rin, I know you didn't go for it this morning, but the night's still young and I don't have to head off to the office anytime soon. So… since both of us are free for a few hours – you really can't give me an excuse."

Crap. She really couldn't.

…Except for the one that she had inadvertently laid out earlier. That wasn't her intent at the time but now, her phone call to "Selphie" served a dual purpose.

She mustered a smile, unconsciously taking one of his hands in hers. At the realization of the contact, her eyes widened and earlier nerves had immediately resurfaced. Casual contact had always been so natural to her; she often physically reached out to others. Rinoa had never taken it to mean something other than finding comfort with a friend. However, she knew that's not how Zone would interpret this particular gesture this time.

But at this point, there was nothing she could do. Now wasn't the time to say that she could never see him as more than one of her best friends; it would only lead to several long hours of conversation. He would try to change her mind and, in turn, end up staying into all hours of the night. Until she could tell him the truth about Squall, he would never accept her reasoning. It simply wouldn't make sense without her being able to give all the facts.

Rinoa had to accept that there would always tomorrow for further explanations. Although, she often found herself putting things off until tomorrows that never seemed to come.

"Zone, I'd really love to… but, um, I already promised Selphie I'd give her a call. And honestly, I don't know how long we'll be. Sometimes we'll stay up all night on the phone, talking for hours. I've tried to deny those years of my life for so long, but right now, I just need their support. The six of us went through so much years ago and because of the circumstances, I think we all need each other."

She looked downward before adding, "I really, really am sorry."

"We used to talk for hours," Zone said under his breath. He glanced over at the five boxes still stacked by the door. As long as they were in her life, he knew there was no room for him.

"I know. I know we did," she whispered apologetically. He wasn't making this easy in the least. "It's just right now, I really need to talk to her…she was with me through so much. There are parts of my life where only my friends at Garden will really understand. It's a different type of relationship with them, but it doesn't mean it's any better."

"It wasn't my place to say anything, I'm sorry. Just call if you need anything – no matter how big or small. I'll always be here if you need me… promise."

She inwardly cringed at his wording. It hit a little too close to home but she had to ignore her momentary uneasiness. "I know Zone… you're only a phone call away. Thank you."

With that, she let go of his hand and hoped that her rush to break physical contact didn't seem too obvious.

He started to leave but turned around as he neared the door. "Rinoa, don't forget what I told you. I meant every word of it. We can't lose this," he spoke softly, pointing his finger back and forth between the two of them.

In response, she offered a sad smile, believing that he was simply talking about their friendship. "I know… I don't want to lose this either."

Without another word, he took a step forward and started to put his arms around her. Rinoa reached up with every intention of returning his embrace but then she felt his lips upon hers. At that second, she was too horrified to even move, let alone reciprocate. Regaining her bearings, she pushed him away trying to remain calm but also be firm in her response.

"Don't," she managed to utter, still in shock, "-don't do that."

"Rinoa… I'm sorry, I thought you meant that you-"

"No stop. Please, just stop."

She placed her hand to her chest, what the hell had just happened? Her heart was racing, but it certainly was not for the same reasons as it did with Squall.

In that defining moment, she realized that it had all changed. No matter what she tried, no matter how hard she tried, she would never think of Zone in the same way. Tonight she lost her friend, someone that she had trusted like an older sibling. They could try to mend this, and maybe succeed to some point, but she could never be in a room alone with him and offer complete trust.

Rinoa now had another loss to mourn.

He wanted to find the words to make it better, to make her forgive him, to turn back the clock and make this all go away. He couldn't. He had put so much thought into this, but it was obvious that she wouldn't ever agree. He still couldn't regret it; he knew it had been right. But at this point, he also knew that he needed to back away from pursuing a relationship at this point.

Zone nodded his head and walked out the door – without a word, without a goodbye.

Her hand shook as she slid the lock into place. It took all her might just to turn around and as she did, her weight collapsed against the door. She was numb; this feeling was starting to grow too accustom over the last weeks. Her mind was still reeling, trying to comprehend what had just happened.

Finally, she was able to push herself off of the door. Rinoa had only managed a step before her eyes involuntarily focused on the figure in the shadows. She knew that he saw. She didn't even have to ask; she could already feel the truth. Why the hell Squall was anywhere near that scene – Rinoa honestly couldn't say.

"Squall-" she began, her voice almost void of emotion.

He raised his hand, cutting her off. "You don't owe me an explanation, you never did."

Rinoa wanted to say something, to tell him it meant nothing. It didn't. Yet she just said nothing. There was still that earlier revelation about their future and this event was another sign pointing to reasons they could never be.

This was not what she had planned when she wanted to be home earlier. Ironically, right now, Rinoa wished that she was still staring at that damned water glass.

Zell picked that time to walk out from the den and stood beside Squall. He figured the coast had been cleared once he'd heard the commander speaking. The martial artist was still in shock about their earlier conversations, but he was trying to take the revelations in stride. Zell was still slightly confused, slightly angry, but most of all, extremely hurt. Up until a few years ago, he had honestly believed that there were no secrets between the group – oh how wrong he was.

Even if he had lived a million years, Zell would have never attributed Rinoa's departure to that, and with the truth came a certain feeling of betrayal. But they were on a mission, so Zell would do his best and handle it rationally. He just needed time to digest the truth, but in a way, all three in the room were still fighting past their own personal barriers.

He was now no different than them. So he would smile and go, just like he always had.

"Hey, you're home," Zell announced, although that fact was rather obvious. He was at least more enthusiastic than either of the other parties, but he also had missed the goodbye kiss.

"Rin, that was a great idea calling the machine. I mean, I didn't get it at first, but then it hit me, and I was like wow' she's damn smart."

"I just wanted to warn you." Rinoa said, finally making her way from the door and over towards the couch. "I felt as if I owed you two that much."

"No, it was brilliant! Hell, even Squall was impressed and you know how rare that is. I don't think he's taken that much pride-"

"Zell," Squall warned by the way he said his name. The commander seriously doubted that Rinoa needed to hear pointless flattery at this point; it was obvious she had other things to concern herself with.

"Geesh, did I miss something?" Zell paused as his eyes darting between the two. "Damn it, I did miss something. You know, I'm not even going to ask this time. I think it's better not knowing anymore tonight… I'm trying still trying to comprehend what I didn't know that I 'didn't know' in the first place."

Rinoa looked over to Squall. "You told him?"

"Yes, I promised I would."

She gave a wistful smile, before returning to an otherwise apathetic expression. She knew how difficult this obstacle had been for her former knight, yet he had found the will to overcome it. Anything she would say would most likely fall flat at this point. She wished that she could let him know how truly proud she was, but right now, she doubted the words would mean much.

When both Squall and Rinoa remained passive, Zell took it as a sign to break the tension. Walking up, he pulled Rinoa into a giant hug - a hug which symbolized all that she had gone through and even more so for what she had missed.

Her reaction had been uncertain at first as it felt slightly awkward after the encounter with Zone, but she knew that Zell's reasoning was completely different. She chided herself for even hesitating. Her hands then reached around him, returning the embrace. Maybe, just maybe, she was making peace with her past - one small obstacle at a time.

And in his arms, she had found a temporary comfort.

It was strange how much she really needed this closeness. This friendship had been missed more than she realized – with Zell, there were no strings, no ulterior motives, just honest friendship.

"We'll talk later," he said as he pulled away.

Rinoa nodded in agreement. She found herself liking that idea. Zell was one who knew all sides of the story, an ally that could truly understand. And just like back then, he seemed willing to lend an ear.

The three stood, again unable to defuse the underlying tension. Luckily, or maybe not-so-luckily, it was broken by the familiar sound of the telephone.

Rinoa looked to Squall. "Did she try to call back or leave a message?"

"No, only message of the night was yours."

She then walked over to the table and momentarily glared at the telephone. Never in her life had she pictured that getting a call from Lauren would end up a blessing. This distraction had bought her more time if nothing else. She closed her eyes and whispered silent encouragement to herself - just because she was thankful didn't mean she still wasn't uncomfortable.

"Hello?" It really shouldn't have been a question, but that's exactly how it sounded.

Squall instinctively found himself walking over to her. He tried to convince himself it was so he could prompt her if he needed a question answered. However, the deeper reason was that he just wanted to be closer, just for the sake of being near. He fought against that inner voice whispering that after tonight, this may be as close as he'd ever get again. He tried to push back his doubts and never let her see his fear. At least with the lights off, it was easier to mask his emotions.

"Rinoa?" The voice from the other end questioned, slightly unsure herself.

"Yes."

"I apologize that it took me so long to get back with you. Did I catch you at a bad time?"

"No, I just got home actually… the timing couldn't have been more perfect."

Her gaze had unintentionally settled with Squall with that. He remained unfazed, his eyes meeting hers on equal ground.

"I would have gotten back with you a lot sooner, but there were some unforeseen complications. I honestly thought this would be simple request, but…"

"So you didn't find out anything?" Rinoa impatiently cut in. The one thing she didn't need in life was more complications.

"Well, no, at least nothing specific. The problem is I can't find anything. I mean anything from Garden's end. There's usually a paper trail…it's standard protocol. So even if an expenditure was placed in the wrong category, there's a system of checks and balances. I went through every bill, and I mean everything I could pull for the last two weeks and then even a few days before the shooting… Still nothing. I can't find a bill requesting payment externally or records of any money being collected internally."

"I…I don't understand."

She looked over to Squall; she already knew he didn't like being on the outsider of their conversation. His stiff body language only betrayed his irritation. Garden was his area expertise after all. In any other circumstances, it would be him on the other end of the line. Because of this, Rinoa felt as if she was being unjustly scrutinized by him – it may have not been his intent, but it was most certainly the result. For her own peace of mind, she had to turn her back slightly from him.

Right now, that patented glare of his was only serving as yet another complication.

Rinoa needed to concentrate on what Laruen was saying, not on being paranoid. She had never been one who was good with facts, figures, and the basics of accounting. Sure there had been times when that information was useful, such as the reports she'd sent Laguna, but even then, most of that work was delegated. Her job in that aspect was to make sure things got from point A to point B. And right now, getting from point A to point B was being greatly detoured by point Squall.

"Accounting isn't really what I deal with… I'm really not sure how this works."

"Well basically that's the problem, because this isn't how things are supposed to work. Not at all. So, I decided to dig a little deeper and that is where it started getting...odd."

"Odd?"

She chanced a look back at Squall. Her last one word response was most likely gnawing away at him on the inside. She had to admit there was some perverse pleasure in keeping him out of the loop though. This whole thing was originally his damned idea after all.

She rolled her eyes, but that most likely went unnoticed in the dark. She knew this was killing him and as much as she liked to see him squirm, she took a sense of pity on him.

In a completely monotone voice, Rinoa finally tried to recap by responding, "I understand that you couldn't find any records about the donation and that goes against Garden's normal protocol. So… what about digging deeper into everything struck you as odd?"

While saying the last word she narrowed her eyes, glaring directly in Squall's direction. She would be damn sure he saw that reaction. She wanted him to know that recap was for his benefit alone. It wasn't her normal way of responding, she sounded more like she was channeling Squall's line of conscious. Of course, Lauren most likely thought she was an idiot for summing up their conversation thus far for no particular reason.

If the interim commander thought Rinoa sounded strange, she didn't really say, but there was unusually long pause before she started speaking again.

"First and foremost, I need to inform you that what I'm going to say doesn't go beyond us. Honestly, I ran this through Cid first, but he told me to keep you informed so…"

Rinoa could tell that Lauren seemed troubled by the headmaster's decision. It wasn't as if Rinoa had any affiliation with Garden anymore. From Lauren's standpoint, there was no reason to be sharing classified information with a civilian, especially one who just happened to also a sorceress.

"I understand. Please know that I really do appreciate your efforts… The last few weeks have just been-"

Rinoa realized she was starting to give another 'cookie-cutter' answer. Something inside was nagging at her, telling her to take her own advice from earlier and remain true to herself.

"Lauren…I see how all this comes across as very unorthodox to you. I do get exactly where you're coming from…. To be honest, in the past, the headmaster and I have butted heads… a lot. It's a very long story, but for all those times I disagreed with his rules or Garden's philosophy, which was often…and again, I mean really, really often, I always knew that he cared about Squall. Cid and I didn't agree on many things, but we agreed on that one."

She glanced over to Squall, whose gaze seemed to have softened. She offered him a sad smile, and he seemed to mirror the action. It was at least a momentary truce in their silent war.

Maybe Lauren herself was working this out, but for whatever reason, she too had remained silent.

After a few seconds, Rinoa softly added, "Some things are really just better left in the past, but sometimes, we just need the closure in the present. I think that's what Cid is trying to offer…the chance for all of us to move on."

It didn't take long for Lauren respond, but her more professional tone from earlier was dropped.

"I've never known of the headmaster to give outsider information to anyone… but it honestly isn't my place to question him. So, I'm sorry for anything that I may have implied. Things have just been thrown in my lap…it's a little overwhelming at times."

"I really do understand and to borrow your phrasing, it's an odd situation we find ourselves in, isn't it?"

Lauren let out a small laugh, "Yeah, it really is. Hang on, I need to grab something." Rinoa could hear the phone being placed down, most likely on the desk followed by a few papers rustling in the background. The familiar sounds made her unconsciously smile as it took her back to another time, to another commander.

"Okay, sorry about that, I'm back now… Okay, starting a few days before the funeral every time a deliveryman came into Garden they were directed to use side gate. We had someone there quickly checking IDs, but under the circumstances, it was rather lax. Mostly it was a 'drop off' type situation and they never officially entered the main building where security was much tighter. We didn't have a camera on that door directly, but I did manage to find a parking lot camera which actually covered that part of the entrance."

"Wait, wait, I'm lost. What does this have to do with who bought the tree?"

"Oh sorry, I kinda jumped the gun there." Lauren seemed slightly flustered when she realized how inappropriate her phrasing might be taken.

"I'm so sorry…" she mumbled apologetically. "Basically, when I found no purchase orders, I figured the next step would be to get a hold of the nursery the tree was from. So I went back to see if I could figure it out based on time stamps on the security tape… which that is the point where it became 'odd.' After searching through the tapes, I tried to see when the tree was delivered. I finally found two men bringing in the tree and several floral arrangements on a flatbed cart."

"Did you manage to get a hold of the nursery?"

"I'm working on it. On one of the men's shirts I saw a logo. It took me a little a while to place it with a business. Turns out it's from a floral and landscaping company just this side of Balamb. I put in a call with the owner to see if he can shed some light on this. But because of the hour, I don't expect him to call back until tomorrow."

"Well, at least we're a step closer. Thank you."

"I really didn't know this would be so complicated. It's all rather a mystery at this point, but I'll get that name for you tomorrow. I just wish I could have gotten the information sooner."

"No, it's fine. It's not like I can thank them tonight anyhow. Oh, if you can get an address too, I'd like to send them a card."

"I'll see what I can do. Again, sorry, I'll call tomorrow."

After hanging up, Rinoa placed the phone back in the cradle, yet carefully avoided direct eye contact with Squall. It was different when she was on the phone, as there was a barrier between them but now there was nothing stopping their conversation.

There was much left unsaid between them, but it was for the best.

"There's nothing more she can do tonight." Rinoa's voice was barely auditable. "It's been another long day… I'm heading to bed."

"Man, that's the best idea today. Well 'cept for the solitaire… and Rin, sorry about the high score. Now you gotta earn it back," Zell replied with a mischievous grin. "I'm outta here. I can barely keep my eyes open. See you both in the morning."

It was quite obvious that sleep really hadn't been his intent, but he was smart enough to know when leaving was the best option. Of course, this just left two people in the room. Unfortunately, only an arm's length was currently separating them. Neither of them wanted to be the first to speak, until Rinoa decided to end their stalemate.

"I'll see you in the morning."

She also knew that she needed to get out of there before she completely broke down. She shook her head at the thought that even now she was holding out hope even now – it pained her to admit, but Zone had been right on that account.

Now that her reluctance made sense, she knew that she couldn't let herself fall back into the fairytale again. In their story, the prince and princess lived in two different castles, in two different kingdoms.

And Squall had been right, he didn't need an explanation. There was nothing to explain, at least from Rinoa's point of view.

So she started to walk away.

Reaching the base of the stairway, she didn't want to look back. She knew that if she did she would give in. Using the rail as support, she made her way up the few steps.

…But then a haunting realization dawned on her. The realization made her body instantly freeze. It was a sense of déjà vu that was literally paralyzing.

This wasn't a train station in Balamb, there was no rain, and there certainly wasn't the smell of roses – but she was once again walking away from him. In three years, she hadn't learned a damned thing. It was her own selfishness that was blinding; even if they couldn't be together as lovers, she would always need him as a friend.

She owed him the truth.

When she turned around, she found that he had made no effort to move. He didn't appear sad or dejected by her actions. Instead, he appeared outwardly emotionless. It was identical to his reaction upon seeing her with Zone.

"You were right," she began shakily. "I don't owe you explanation, that doesn't mean you don't deserve one." Her fingers tightened around the railing to a point she thought it might break. "When you asked me earlier if Zone thought this was a date… I told you the truth. Part of me believed that he did. I just didn't tell you why I was so sure... The night you were shot, we kissed."

"Rinoa," he began but stopped just as quickly.

It wasn't his turn to speak - he had made his peace last night. At this point, he wasn't sure if the fear was because he believed he didn't deserve an explanation or because was afraid to hear one.

He also knew that he was being a hypocrite. In his mind, he believed that on an emotional level, Rinoa kissing Zone was damn near the equivalent of him sleeping with Lauren a hundred times. He knew that it was a stupid as hell comparison. But Rinoa was not him on any level, and when she loved, she truly loved with all her heart.

"Squall, I need to explain, but know, this explanation isn't just for you… it's for me too. I haven't had anyone to talk to about this… I don't know how much longer I could've lived with this guilt. Everything… it just keeps piling up."

It was becoming difficult to breathe but she found the will to continue.

"The night you were shot… I wasn't expecting it, but Zone kissed me… God help me, I kissed him back. It had been so long and for a minute, I could just pretend – pretend everything was all right. But it wasn't right, nothing about it was right. It only lasted a few seconds, but damn you, my first thoughts were that somehow I had betrayed you. That's irony, huh? And then, as if to make the guilt unbearable, I saw your picture on the news…that's how I found out you 'died.' The news...I saw it on the damn news."

She inhaled sharply, "As far as Zone…I haven't been able to look at him the same way since. With everything that happened, I thought he'd let it rest. I even tried to fool myself into thinking we could go back to normal, that I'd have one of my best friends back. Tonight…tonight I thought he was going to hug me. That's all. I didn't kiss him back. There had been so much said, so much going on in my head that it took a second for it register. And that...that's what you saw."

She closed her eyes. "I always loved him, but I've never been in love with him… he was special to me. But tonight it hit me… I just lost someone else who had been a great part of my life."

With those parting words, she turned and continued heading up to her bedroom.

Squall stood at the bottom of the stairs. He believed her, believed every word. There was no question about that. He just couldn't shake this feeling…that somewhere in between this afternoon and tonight, she had lost hope – hope for their future.