Warning! There are going to be swear words in this chapter!
Tris POV
Previously -
"I don't want to hurt you Tris!" He says and I don't understand.
"You are hurting me now Tobias!"
"I know and just this kills me!"
"Why can't you marry me?"
"Because -"
"Because what?"
"I am leaving!" He says.
"What?" I ask feeling the rest of the running down my cheek.
"I have to leave..." He says and I know he is looking words to explain what he is saying.
I look over at the clock that hangs over the TV and it reads 12 AM, and I know this conversation won't end well this late. But I guess this conversation can't end well anyway.
"I am going to pretend that you haven't said anything and then we can rather talk about tomorrow!" I tell him and go upstairs. I get ready for bed - take a shower, brush my teeth and things like that. I grab Tobais t-shirt and a new underwear and lie down on my side. I wait for him to come and lie next to me, but he doesn't, and I know I am not going to be able to sleep without him next to me.
I stand up and walk downstairs. He is lying on the couch.
"What are you doing on the couch?" I ask him, sitting down next to him. He wakes up and looks at me.
"Sleeping?" He answers, but it's more of a question.
"Why down here and not upstairs in our bed?" I ask not sure why he didn't come and join me.
"Well because you are upset." He tells me sitting up. "That t-shirt fits you."
"Well thank you! Anyway, I said that I was going to pretend that we haven't said anything since the party, and that means you can join me upstairs! Plus, you know I can't sleep without you sleeping next to me." I tell him smiling.
"Tris, I don't know, you have to get used to it." He tells.
"Why are you leaving me?" I ask him.
"Trust me, I don't want to!"
"What about Nick and Sky? Are you taking them with you?" I ask, because I can't loose them too.
"Tris, do you remember the mission Al told us about? The one where Max said that he was going to have people go outside the fence to explore things and what ever?" He asks me and I nod, since yeah, well I do remember. "Well he isn't asking me to go, he has decided that I am going and I can't do anything to stop it! Tris I don't want to leave! I want to stay here, with you and watch our kids grow-up. I want to marry you and grow old with you, but if something happens when I am on that mission, I can't be okay with that, marrying you, I can't just leave!" He tells me and sits up.
I look up at him and he looks at me. I didn't know that he is going to leave out from here. I thought he was going to be around, watching the kids. I thought...
"You are leaving, leaving?" I ask feeling the tears come back again. He looks at me and puts his arms around me and I cry into his chest. I don't know how long I stay like this; him holding me and me crying into his chest. I fall asleep like this and I guess he does too.
The next morning, I wake up by someone crying. I stand up and take in my surroundings. I am in the living room, in Tobias's t-shirt and my underwear, I was lying on the couch - which explains the painful bag, and Tobias is lying next to me or was lying next to me, holding me tight.
I walk upstairs and fine Sky standing in her bed crying. I walk over to her and pick her up. Not late after that she is asleep again. I put her down and go downstairs again to look for my phone. It's on the counter and see that it's 7 AM. I am late for work, but there is no way I am going to work today. I guess I should tell Tori about it. I want to call Zeke and tell him to take care of the kids today, since I know he knows about this. I dial his number and picks up almost right away.
- PHONE CONVERSASTION -
"Tris?" He asks and I know he is tried.
"Hey, did I wake you up?" I ask.
"Yeah, but it's fine. What's going on?"
"Four told me!" I tell him and I can feel the tears forming in my eyes again. "Can you take care of the kids today and tell Tori I am not coming to work?"
"Yeah of course, I will be over in 10 min."
- END OF CONVERSASTION -
And with that he ends the call. I sit in arm chair in the living room, just watching Tobias sleep. The annoying part is that I can feel the tears coming down my cheek quietly, when I look at him. Then I hear a knock ad stand up to go and open it. When I open the door, I realize that I am only in a long t-shirt, but who cares.
"Hey." He says when I open the door.
"The kids are up stairs sleeping. Do you want to get them now, or do you want to wait until they wake up?" I ask, still knowing that the tears are coming quietly down my cheek.
"It's up to you." He tells me and I don't know what to answer.
"Tris-"
"No, don't say anything! You can go and get them." I tell him and let him inside. When he comes inside we walk upstairs, he goes over to Sky and Nick's room and go to my room. I get on some sweatpants and a bra, so I look at least a bit presentable.
I then walk downstairs again to fine Zeke with both of the kids in his hands and a bag over his shoulder.
"Call me when I should bring them back." He tells me and I nod, still knowing about the tears coming down my cheek. "Let him speak okay, and just know that he doesn't want to do anything."
"Bye, and thanks for taking them and telling Tori." I tell him and he leaves. I walk back over to the couch and sit next to him. I can't help but think why this is happening to me. Why I deserve this! What I did to deserve this! This is second time he is leaving me, but this time, he is leaving me with a child, wait not one, but two. I have no idea how I am going to cope with myself being heartbroken, but knowing that I have to take care of two other human beings scares me. I already know I am not going to be able to take care of myself, knowing he is out of the fence on some annoying mission.
"Hey you." He says sitting up looking at me.
"When are you going?" I ask him, since it's the first question that comes to my head.
"Tris lets eat something first." He says.
"I am not hungry!"
"You have work."
"I am not going to work! You are going to tell me when you are fucking leaving?!" I yell at him, because I can't take it anymore.
" Tris -"
"No, when are you leaving?!"
"In two days." He says looking down on the couch. I stand up and put my head in my hands. He walks over to me and wraps his arm around me. "Tris -"
"No don't!" I say breaking away from him. "You are leaving to go out of the fence to kill your self! You are fucking leaving me alone! You are leaving me to take care of two human beings! You are freaking leaving me!" I tell him crying and shouting.
"Tris I don't want too! I don't have a choice!" He shouts back. "I love you Tris and there is noting in the world I would rather do than to stay here and be with you!"
"Who else knows?"
"Troi, Zeke and Max!" He says.
"Why does Tori know? Wait that is why she was quiet every time our marriage came up, and that is why you guys kept talking to each other! Why did she know?"
"She knows because I told her." He says quiet.
"Why did you tell her and not me?"
"I didn't want to go, I told her to help me make a good enough reason to not go and well Zeke, pretty much figured out that something was up the day Max told me."
"This is what the fight you had with him was about, wasn't it?"
"Yeah it was!" He tells me.
"How long are you leaving for or how long are you going to be away for?"
"I don't know, a year. Something like that!" He says and the tears are pouring out from my eyes.
"You already left me once and it took me many years to recover, and I was only 14 when we broke up, now I am 17 and I am also going to have people that remind me of you around me 24/7, why are you doing this?"
"I don't have a choice!"
"Why doesn't Max ask someone else?"
"Because I was ranked first, plus everyone follows me!"
"Who else are going?"
"Al, Harrison, and some other people!" He says and then someone knocks on the door. I walk over to the door and find Christina there.
"What?" I ask too harsh.
"What the hell is going on? You can hear you two shooting for far away." She says.
"What do you want?" I ask.
"Tris, what's going on?" She asks worried.
"What do you want? I am kind of in the middle of something?"
"Zeke is planning a party tonight. You coming? And Four?"
"NO!" I tell her and close the door. I walk into the living room to find Tobias looking at me.
"Who was that?" He asks.
"Christina, said something about a party tonight, I said no!"
"It's probably the goodbye party he has been talking about!"
"Well you should go then!"
"Tris - !"
"NO! I don't want to go to a freaking goodbye party for you! I don't freaking want you to leave! There is no way in hell I am going to a goodbye party for you!"
"Where are the kids?"
"Zeke are taking care of them! I will be upstairs! I don't want to talk to you!" I tell him and walk upstairs!
When I come upstairs, I lie down and cry and cry, until I fall asleep.
To be continued...
A/N - I hope you don't hate me now! Pansycakes will get more tomorrow! Sorry for the short update! And I know this wasn't that good! Please review though!
