Changes and Differences
Note: Bold is English, Plain is translated from Japanese
…
Shaun had rented two vans for Joe and his friends, since Joe had e-mailed Shaun to let them know they were coming. Shaun had also made sure to rent out a house for the month they would be staying, as well as giving Joe the address, so Joe could MapQuest it.
"So, what happened to Chiyo? I was looking forward to seeing her," Shaun said.
"Chiyo is off training, but she'll be back in a week," Joe said.
"So, Shaun, how do you know Joe?" Sakaki said, in almost perfect English.
"I met him when I went to MIT at 13" Shaun said.
"13?!" Sakaki said in surprise.
"Sure, Sakaki, MIT attracts a lot of child geniuses from all around the world," Shaun said with a laugh.
"How old are you now?" Yukari asked.
"17" Shaun said.
The girls just stared in shock. How Joe had managed to meet with so many geniuses was beyond them.
"Bet you feel pretty stupid now, huh, Nyamo?" Yukari said with a big grin.
"Shut up," Nyamo said grouchily.
The group then reached the vehicles. Shaun (driving), Yomi(passenger seat), Tomo, Yukari, Nyamo, and Saotome all got into one van. Joe (driving), Sakaki (passenger seat) Osaka, Arata, Kagura, and Kaorin all got into the second van.
"Oh, by the way, I can speak Japanese," Shaun said suddenly.
"Joe never even knew," Tomo said with a grin.
"Wait, so, what was the point of fooling him like that?" Yomi asked.
"Oh, just roll your windows down, and wait," Shaun said with a very evil smile.
…
Meanwhile, everybody else rolled the windows down in Joe's vehicle.
"Man, I haven't been driving in a vehicle in a while," Joe said, as he started up the vehicle.
"…I wanna take you to a gay bar…"
Joe immediately shut off the CD Player, looking peeved. All of the girls in Joe's van had to slap their hands over their mouths to keep from bursting out laughing. Even Osaka and Arata, with their weird thoughts, couldn't help but snicker at this.
Joe pulled out his cell phone.
…
Everybody in the other vehicle was already laughing. They all had already been told about the evil thing Tomo did to Joe when he proposed, and they had all heard the radio kick up from Joe's van.
Shaun picked up his cell phone when it rang.
"Shaun?" Joe said.
"Yeah?"
"You knew how to speak Japanese already, didn't you?" Joe asked.
"Yeah, I did." Shaun said.
"And you spoke to Tomo, didn't you?" Joe said, sounded irritated.
"Yeah, I did." Shaun had to hold back to keep from laughing.
"I hate you" Joe said, and he hung up.
Shaun burst out laughing.
…
Joe turned the radio on, just as the news kicked on.
"…and in her speech, President Oprah vowed to eliminate the national debt, as well as give schools all the money they would need…"
Joe shut off the radio, and called Shaun back.
"Shaun, Oprah is our president now?!" Joe said in disbelief.
"Well, yeah," Shaun said like it was common knowledge. "She promised everybody who voted for her a car. That was something no other politician could ever do."
"Keep a promise?" Joe asked.
"Uh-huh," Shaun said with a smile.
"Um…Shaun…I know this is kind of a sensitive subject, but… what about the Iraqi war?" Joe asked.
"Oh, it was awesome! As soon as Oprah went into office, she immediately pulled out all of the soldiers, and sent over a bunch of food, supplies, and stuff like that. The Iraqi insurgents stopped bombing everything, and Iraq itself is now sharing worldwide peace." Shaun said.
"Wow, that's awesome!" Joe said with a smile.
Joe heard not only the stomach's growl from his van, but the stomachs from Shaun's van growl as well.
"Shaun, I think we need to stop somewhere to eat…" Joe said with a sweat-drop.
"Yeah, I think we do too…" Shaun said from the other vehicle.
"Oh, Shaun, there's something I haven't done in almost a year!" Joe said. "Drive-thru windows!"
"You mean they don't have drive-thru windows in Japan?" Shaun asked.
"No, they don't!!" Joe said, "Where's the nearest McDonalds?"
"About ten blocks up from here," Shaun said.
"Great! Let's go there before we get going!" Joe said, and he hung up the phone.
"A drive-thru window?" Osaka asked. "Does that mean that people drive through it?"
"No, Osaka, it means we drive up to the window to pick up our food, rather than sitting down to eat it." Joe said.
"Well then wouldn't it be called a drive-up window?" Arata asked.
"Well, they do technically call it drive-up…" Joe said.
"Oh…" They both said.
Everybody in the vehicle sweat-dropped.
…
All of the girls, Arata, and Saotome found drive-thru windows to be…well…a little weird, considering they always sat down for their meal, and never had to be somewhere.
What they also found to be weird is how everybody drove on the right side of the road.
…
Along the way, both vehicles got stuck in traffic. Total traffic jam, nothing's moving.
But Joe noticed something along the side of the road.
He got out and went over to the roadside stand.
It was a cookie stand. But the people behind the cookie stand were soldiers.
"Um…hi there," Joe said, feeling a little awkward. "Why are you guys selling cookies?"
"Because the schools are getting all the money they need, we need to have bake sales to buy bombers now. Damn Oprah," the soldier said.
Joe bought one chocolate chip cookie, and went back to the vehicle.
He then burst out laughing.
"Oh my god, the bumper stickers are right!" was all he could manage to get out.
…
Finally, upon reaching the house (which was on the Wisconsin / Illinois border), everybody got out, and started unpacking. The house was big enough so that everybody could have their own rooms.
So there would be a few extra rooms (with Sakaki and Joe sleeping together, as well as Kagura and Kaorin)
They were close to being completely unpacked, but Shaun had to do one more evil thing to Joe.
"Hey, Joe, when you passed us out on the road, I think I heard your vehicle make a noise…" Shaun said.
"Really?" Joe said, seriously concerned.
"Yeah, sounded something like 'IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'm gay'"
Tomo burst out laughing. She fell to the ground, and began pounding her fist on the ground.
Joe's eye twitched, as he began walking into the house with more luggage.
"Oh, and when you sat at the drive-thru window, I'm pretty sure it idled like "Homohomohomohomohomohomohomohomo"
Tomo had tears running down her face she was laughing so hard. She seriously couldn't breathe.
"I hate you so much, Shaun," Joe said.
Shaun just smiled evilly.
…
Author's notes: Yeah, I know that the Iraqi war is a very sensitive subject for a lot of people, but I really felt like I needed to put a happy smile on this sort of thing.
Also, the whole thing with Joe and Shaun at the end, as well as putting Oprah into office: full credit for those jokes goes to Jeff Dunham, and his new DVD 'Spark of Insanity'. He is a hilarious ventriloquist, and if you haven't seen him yet, you don't know what you're missing.
Next Chapter: True Love
