Sacrifice- S8E23

It had been one week since she kissed her ex-husband. Eight days, sixteen hours, twenty-one minutes. She had kissed Sam. And he had tried to stop her. Because he knew she would regret it. At the time, she had. Then, she couldn't stop thinking about kissing him again, hands running over bodies, fingers tangled in hair. Now, she just wanted to talk to him. But he was avoiding her like the plague. And she was scared to know what that meant.
The kitchen of the bunker was nice, cozy enough for being nestled under the surface of the earth. It had the essentials. Coffee was a must since Finn's death. She didn't sleep because sleep brought the vivid memory of his death and she never wanted to see that again. So it was coffee to keep her awake and the sparse naps throughout the day.
She was flipping through a book on vampires, a hot cup of coffee in her hand when she heard his laugh. "Lily! Hurry up! Come here!" Sam was actually yelling for her. She left the coffee and the book and sprinted to the room they had decorated as a nursery for Gemma and Henry.
"What's wrong? Is everything okay?" She asked.
Gemma was on all fours next to her baby brother. "He's trying to crawl. Watch." Sam helped her sit down. Lily covered her mouth to cover the cry as her son crawled a few inches.
Her heart swelled. "Oh, what a big boy you are!" Lily cooed as he crawled towards her and Sam. "Mommy is so proud of you!" He successfully crawled into her lap, tugging at her necklace, where she kept the wedding band and engagement ring that Finn had given her.
"Yay Henry!" Gemma clapped her hands, running into Sam's lap.
Henry was six months old. Gemma was turning four the next month. Her kids were growing up.
"Oh, my God. Gemma is going to have to start pre-school. I didn't…I didn't even think about it. Sam, I'm sure registration is already closed for this fall. What are we going to do?" Finn's death had put everything on the back burner. But Lily couldn't believe she forgot that Gemma was supposed to start pre-school.
"Hey, calm down. We've got this. Just work a little of your magic. I'm sure they can be persuaded to let her start this year. We'll go tomorrow and get everything figured out. Promise." He told her. Sam had always kept her calm, but he had always been the one to fire her up.
She took a deep breath and checked her watch. Naptime. "Okay you two, time for a nap. Let's get in our bed and we'll tell a story and then go to sleep." Lily said, standing up with Henry in her arms. Sam and Gemma followed them to Lily's room. The four of them laid in the bed, Henry and Gemma in between Sam and Lily. Lily picked up the naptime book from her nightstand and opened it. "Guess How Much I Love You." It was Gemma's favorite.
By the time they were halfway through the book, both kids were passed out. "We should talk." Sam said quietly, getting out of the bed. Lily nodded, following him from her room to his. He left the door ajar in case Henry woke up. "I don't want things to be weird between us. We're living together, raising our kids and we don't talk to each other. I shouldn't have let you kiss me. I know how you are when you're upset. You don't think rationally." He explained. Lily unzipped her jacket, tossing it across the room. Sam shook his head as she took a step towards him. "No. No, Lily. You do not want to do this."
She took her hair down from the ponytail it had been in for a week. "You don't know what I want, Sam. I want to be held. I want to be kissed and touched and loved."
"You want Finn."
His name made her stop. He wasn't wrong. She wanted Finn. She wanted the man who was going to happily marry her, knowing her past and what she was and he was fine with it.
"You want him and you can't have him because Castiel took him away from you." Sam continued. She whispered for him to stop but he didn't. "You haven't grieved. You've been going along like everything is fine and it isn't. You're tearing yourself apart."
"Please stop." Everything was blurry. Her lungs burned. She sat down on his bed, burying her face in her hands. "I can't do this. He was supposed to be here. Finn was supposed to be here, helping me. We were going to start trying to have a baby." She whispered.
A baby. Finn's baby. Sam sat down beside her, pulling her into his chest. "You're gonna get through it. You always get through it." He always knew what to say. And she told him that. He kissed the top of her head. "You're the strongest person I know, Lily. You're gonna have a good life. I promise. I'm gonna be here, every step of the way, I swear. I won't leave again."
She jerked away from him. Her hands wiped the tears from her eyes. "You mean it?" He nodded slowly, of course he meant it.
"You are always going to be my wife. You said it, we're soulmates. I think that sometimes, soulmates aren't meant to be together though. So if this is what works, it's what works." He pushed her hair behind her ears.
Her eyes searched his face, remembering every crease, every wrinkle. What the hell was that odor? She looked around his room. Clean as a whistle, as always. Was that…was the smell her? Granted, she hadn't showered all week so it was very likely. "I smell awful." She laughed quietly.
He cracked a smile. "You really do. Come on, I'll get you in the shower." What? Sam was going to bathe her? He made a face at her face. "You used to like it when I washed your hair." He teased.
His bathroom was attached to his bedroom, like most of the rooms had. He turned the shower on hot and soon enough, the room was engulfed with steam. Lily slowly peeled her clothes off. "I can shower by myself, you know. I'm not completely helpless when I'm emotional." She told him.
Sam opened the shower door and told her to step inside. "I like doing things for you."
She glanced between him and the shower. "How are you supposed to help me if your clothes are still on your body?"
She saw him smile a small smile out of the corner of her eye. She looked at herself in the misty mirror. She closed her eyes and her hands reached behind her to undo the necklace that held her engagement ring and wedding band. Lily took a deep breath as she undid the necklace and laid it on the sink. And then she stepped in the shower.
God she had missed showers. The hot water beat against her skin and she swore she could feel it in her bones.
She had not seem Sam naked in a very long time. Over a year. She licked her lips slowly as he stepped into the shower, shutting the door. "Feelin' better yet?" He asked her. She nodded, afraid of what noise would escape her mouth if she opened it.
Sam held her hair under the water, then massaged shampoo in it for what seemed like ever. "I wish I could hate you, Sam. I wish I could but I can't. I always think it's because of Gemma or because we hunt together, but it's because I'm always going to love you. There isn't going to be a day that goes by in my life where I won't be in love with you." She looked at him, hoping he wouldn't say anything. Hoping he would let it go.
Instead, he kissed her. The shower wall was cold against her skin. His hands were tight around her hips as he held her against the wall. His lips- God those lips- left wet kisses down her jawline.
"You're sure?" Sam murmured, lips grazing her neck.
Lily nodded vigorously, pulling him back to kiss him again.

Shit shit shit. What had she done? Something not good. Something very bad. Dean was making lunch and Sam was asleep with the kids.
"Hey, everything okay?" Dean asked her. "You looked upset." He put a sandwich down in front of her.
Lily ran her hands through her hair. "I had sex with Sam this morning. In the shower." She confessed.
God, the words felt dirty coming from her mouth.
"What?" Dean almost choked on his food. He took a drink of water. "You and Sam...? This morning?"
She nodded slowly. "I kissed him last week. I'm still in love with him. I just...I can't do this to Finn. He's only been gone a few months."
Dean put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You should talk to him. I'll find a sitter for the kids while Sam and I take care of some stuff and you go talk to Finn."
Wait, hold on. What? He wanted her to talk to Finn. How was that gonna happen?
"How am I supposed to do that?"
Dean gave her a look. "Come on, Lils. You're smart."
It clicked. Heaven. She'd have to go to Heaven.

Cas appeared in front of her, looking worn and a little freaked. "It's just me. Don't worry." Lily said.
He looked shocked to see her. A little scared. "Lily, whatever you're about to do to me, I deserve it in full. But this isn't the time for my death."
She laughed. "That's not why I summoned you. I need a favor. A big one."
"Of course. Anything."
She swallowed, not believing the words she was about to say. "I need you to send me to Heaven. No death or anything. Just like last time."
Cas stared back at her, big blue eyes wide. "Is everything alright?"
Lily said she wasn't sure. "There's just someone I need to talk to is all. I'll pray to you when I'm ready to come home, alright?"
He nodded. "Ready?"
Oh, was she.

She knew exactly where he would be. She could feel it. She saw the Roadhouse up ahead. It looked like it always had. Lily took a deep breath.
She opened the door, stepping inside.
"What the hell are you doing in here, girl?" The hard voice of Ellen Harvelle greeted her.
Ellen was standing behind the bar with her daughter, Jo. Lily hadn't seen them in...God, how long had it been? Years.
"Ellen, it's me. It's Lily." She said.
Ellen poured a glass of whiskey. "Yeah. I know. Being dead lets you see who people really are. How many times you gonna change meatsuits?"
Lily smiled, quickly walking to the bar and hopping over, hugging Ellen. "I've missed you." She whispered, then going to hug Jo.
"Lily Fitzpatrick! What're you doing up here?" Ah, Ash. "You aren't dead, are you?"
She shook her head, returning to the customer side of the bar. "I uh, had Castiel send me up here. There's someone I need to talk to."
"So how's life been? What've you been up to?" Jo asked her, handing her the glass of whiskey.
Lily looked down at the glass. "Oh. I don't drink anymore." She handed the glass back. Jo poured the liquid down her throat. "I have two kids now. Gemma's going to be four and Henry's almost six months old. Here, I have photos." Lily pulled her phone from her pocket. She clicked on her photos and handed the phone to Ellen.
"Gemma looks-."
"Just like Sam. I know." Lily laughed.
Ellen looked back at her.
"Oh, balls."
Lily turned in her chair. Three people were looking at her. Two of them were her parents, one of them was Bobby.
"Don't tell me you did something stupid and got your sorry ass sent up here." Bobby cursed at her.
Lily stood up, letting him hug her. "Sorry, old man. I just called in a favor." She apologized.
"This body is better for you." Her mother smiled.
Her father hugged her, kissing her forehead.
"Wanna see pics of your grandkids?" Lily grinned at her parents.
Gretchen Fitzpatrick was glowing at the mention of grandkids. Lily showed her a photo of Gemma. "This is Gemma. She's almost four, so she's going to pre-school in the fall. And this," she said, switching to a photo of the baby, "is Henry. He's about six months old."
"Oh my God, sweetheart." Henry Fitzpatrick sighed.
"They're so beautiful." Gretchen said.
There was a twinge of pain. Lily missed her kids. But more, she missed her parents. "I'm sorry you couldn't see them. I know they would love you both." Lily whispered. "It's my fault that you didn't live to see them."
Gretchen pulled her in for another hug. "Hey, sweetheart. Don't you worry about it. You just make sure that when you get home, you tell those kids how much their Nanny and Grandpa love them."
Lily nodded, saying she would.
"Hey, Lily. We got someone here itching to see you." Ellen called from the bar.
She looked over. There he was. As perfect as ever. Her dead husband.
"Finn." She breathed.

The sunflowers came up to her knees. The sky was blue, no cloud in sight.
"Why are you here? Not that I'm not happy to see you, because I am. But uh, this is Heaven and I'm really hoping you aren't here for good." Finn said, laughing a little.
Lily smiled. "No. I came to talk to you."
They came to a clearing, sitting down under the shade of a willow tree. "Is everything okay?"
"I've missed you. So much. It's only been four months but it feels like so much more."
Finn grabbed her hand. "That isn't really why you're here, Lily." He said softly.
She took her hand away. "I needed closure. I needed to know that you were okay."
"And?"
She sighed heavily. "I needed you to know about something that I did. Something that I don't regret but I feel guilty over because of you."
Finn closed his eyes. "Sam."
She nodded slowly. "I'm so sorry. I just...God, Finn. I've messed up so much." She began crying. This was not how things were supposed to go. He wasn't even supposed to be here.
He put his arm around her shoulders. "Stop crying, Lily. Listen to me, okay?" She nodded. "You and Sam are two forces who are meant to be together. There's no getting around it. I love you and I know that you loved me. If you didn't, you wouldn't be here now asking for my blessing or whatever."
"Finn."
He shushed her. "Hold on a sec. I knew that you loved him. I knew that you always would. But you were choosing me, so I was okay with it. And I'm okay with any decision you make, so long as you're happy and the kids are happy. That is all that matters to me. But, if he hurts you in any way, I'll come straight down to Earth and kick his ass."
Lily laughed. "Thank you, Finn. For everything. You have no idea what this means to me."
He kissed the top of her head softly. "I just wish it were me you were meant to be with."
"Me too. You were perfect. You are perfect."

The little boy was sitting on the bar, playing cards with her parents. His hair brushed the top of his ears and he had dark green eyes, eyes like Lily used to have and a nose that was a perfect replica of Sam's.
"Oh my God."
It was him. It was a him.
"Hey, you okay?" Finn's hand was on her back, keeping her upright.
She nodded. "I just...where is that kid from?"
He was five, maybe six. Adorable as shit.
"Not really sure. His name's Dean. He hangs out with your parents a lot." She felt like she was gonna be sick. "Do you know him or something?"
"I think he's my son." She whispered.
Finn stared down at her. "What? Lily?"
"My miscarriage before Gemma. That's my baby on the bar."
She walked away from Finn, towards the bar. The little boy looked up at her, green eyes wide.
"I know you." He said. He did? "You're my mommy."
She choked. Her heart dropped. He knew her. Lily wiped her eyes of the new tears. "Yeah. I am. I'm your mom." She whispered. "I'm so sorry you're here. It was my fault. It's my fault that every one of the people in this room are here. I'm sorry, Dean."
He put his cards down, hugging her around the neck. "Don't cry, Mommy. It's okay."
Lily kissed his both his cheeks. "You're named after your Uncle Dean. He's the bravest and most selfless person I know. And your daddy, he would have loved you so much. I wish I could take you back with me..."
Couldn't she?
"It's okay, Mommy. I like it here with Nanny and Grandpa and everyone."
Sam. She had to talk to Sam about this.
You're coming back. NOW. Castiel's voice was shouting in her head. Lily plugged her ears, squinting.

"Where have you been?" Sam asked her as she appeared in front of him. "I've been worried sick about you!"
She threw her arms around him, kissing him fiercely. "I went to Heaven." She said as she pulled away. He looked confused. "I had to go. Talk to Finn. I just...it didn't feel right without talking to him about it."
Sam nodded. "There's something else."
She took a deep breath. "I met him. I met our son."
It took him a minute to register what she was saying. "What was he like?" He asked her softly.
She smiled. "God, he was amazing, Sam. He had your nose and my old eyes. The green ones. His hair was to his ears. He looked just like you. His name was Dean." Sam hugged her again, kissing her forehead. "I want to bring him home, Sam. I want to bring our son home."
He blinked, processing what she had said to him. "Lil, we can't do that. We don't need to mess with that right now, not when we're so close to closing Hell."
Her smile fell instantly at his words. But she knew he was right. Their baby belonged in Heaven. They couldn't bring him back. "I know. It's just that...he was exactly like I thought he would be. He was perfect, just like Gemma and just like Henry."
Sam kissed the top of her head. "What did Finn say?"
Lily kissed him.
He smiled as he pulled away. He pushed her hair behind her ears. "I love you, Lily. And I'm sorry for everything I've done in the past. I've hurt you more times than I'd care to admit publicly. I promise- no, I swear to you that I'm going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you'll let me. Because I'm yours. Forever."
"No more leaving?" She whispered into his chest.
Sam said no. "No more leaving. Only if you ask me to or if it's to keep you and the kids safe. Those are my only conditions."
She hugged him tighter.

Lily looked at Crowley, chained to the chair. "Never thought I'd see this." She laughed at him.
Crowley scowled. "You know what they're planning to do to me?"
She nodded, crossing her arms. "They're going to make you mortal. Your worst nightmare." She smiled.
Crowley yanked on the chains. "Get me out of these chains and I'll do anything you ask of me." She shook her head, saying no deal. "You want your parents back? Fine. Done. Get me out."
"No."
"Finn? I can bring him back too. In fact, I'll bring all three of them back."
Lily kept her stance. "No, Crowley. Nothing you say, no offer you make is going to get you out of here."
He shifted in the chair. "Is that so? Well, how about I offer you something a little more...appealing? Considering that you're sleeping with Moose again and your parents forgave you a long time ago. How about I offer you...your son?"
"You can't offer me what I already have. Henry's upstairs with Dean and Gemma right now."
Crowley grinned madly. "I'm not talking about Henry. I'm talking about the other one. Dean's his name, right? Don't you want to have him back? I'll tell you what, I'll let you decide how you want him. As he is now, six years old or I'll work a little magic and you can be pregnant again, give birth to him like you always wanted and raise him with Gemma and Henry. What do you say?"
"She says no." Sam's voice came from behind her, bitter and rock hard.
Lily shifted. "Let her speak for herself." Crowley demanded of Sam.
They were both looking at her. Oh, she was about to do something very very stupid. "Deal."
Crowley smirked, Sam pulled her away and out of the room. "What the hell are you doing? You just agreed to let him go!" He hissed. "Lily, I know you're upset and you want to bring him home, but we need Crowley to close Hell. For good. We can work on the baby after this."
She was smiling. Hard core smiling. "You weren't there for the first part of that conversation. He wants out of the chains. I didn't agree to let him go. I agreed to let him out of his chains."
Sam chuckled, shaking his head. "I picked a very intelligent and very cunning woman to spend the rest of my life with."
"Can I go back in so I can have my son?"
Sam said absolutely and she went back into the room. "Can I be freed now?" Crowley asked, very bored and very irritated.
"Of course. Give me my baby. And then I'll help you." She undid the handcuffs that rendered him unable to use magic.
He snapped his fingers. "Congratulations. You're expecting. You and Moose do make cute children. And I enjoy Crowley as a middle name."
She put her hands on her stomach. Her baby. She had her baby back. "Thank you."
He nodded. "Now get me out of this place, Lillian."
She smirked at him. "Sorry. I only agreed to let you out of the chains. I didn't agree to let you go."
"I can still get out of here on my own."
She snapped her fingers, creating a Devil's Trap on the floor. "I hope you enjoy being mortal. It's a blast, I've heard."
He stared, wide eyed and open mouthed as she walked away. "Lillian! Lillian!" He shouted at her as she left him in the room.

Lily tapped her fingers on the hood of the car. "What's wrong with you?" Dean asked her. "What's wrong with her?" He asked Sam.
"Baby!" Gemma squealed. "Mommy's baby!"
Dean stared at Lily and Sam. "Uh. You two got some explaining to do."
"When I went to Heaven, I met the baby I lost. He was almost six years old and he was playing cards with my parents. I just...I couldn't leave him there. He was perfect. So I made a deal with Crowley. He offered to give me my son in exchange for freeing him."
Dean's face turned from confusion to anger. "You let him go? Lily!"
"That isn't the best part." Sam smiled.
Dean rolled his eyes. "No, it isn't. The best part is that you're okay with it!"
Lily told him to shut up. "Crowley said that he would give me what I wanted, if I let him out of his chains. So I let him out of his chains. I didn't let him go."
Dean hugged her. "So that's it? You're pregnant?"
She nodded. "His name's Dean." She told him.
His eyes were watering. "You named him after me...?"
Sam clapped his brother's back. "Course. Who else would we name him after? Dad?" Both of the brothers laughed.

"I don't know how to confess for the things I've done wrong." Sam told them. "I've done so much that I regret. Do we have the time for me to go through it all?"
Lily said yes. "We have the time. Anything it takes to purify your blood so we can finish this." She pushed his hair back from his face.
"You could start with Ruby. Then go on to killing Lilith which freed Lucifer, uh, losing your soul and oh, not looking for me when I went to Purgatory." Dean suggested.
Sam glanced at Lily. "Just let it come from your heart. That's what matters. If you want, I can sit with you." She offered.
He nodded. "Yeah. I'd appreciate it."
She took him by the hand, looking at Dean. "Watch the kids. Do not let them out of your sight." She led Sam into the church, towards the confessional. They sat down in a pew, away from Crowley. "Whenever you're ready. Just say what you feel." She told him.
He nodded, handing her the bag that contained everything he needed to turn Crowley mortal. He put his elbows on his knees, burying his face in his hands.
"Okay. Here goes." Sam whispered. "Uh, God, if you're there. There are some things I gotta get off my chest." Lily was almost afraid to listen to whatever words were going to come from his mouth, afraid to hear what he had to say about everything. "I need to apologize for a lot of things. Trusting Ruby, drinking her blood, letting her into my head. I need to apologize for not being more overjoyed when I found out Lily was pregnant the first time, for not being upset when Ruby murdered our son. I'm sorry for killing Lilith. I mean, she deserved it but I brought Lucifer back and basically almost started the Apocalypse. I left my brother behind, I left my wife behind, pregnant with our daughter. And when I came back, they thought I was dead and I never reached out to them. I thought they were better off without me. I missed my daughter being born even though I could have been there and I counted down the days until she was born. Oh, and the whole thing with my soul. Leaving Lily. Again. Also pregnant. Granted, I didn't know about that one until after our son was born. I didn't look for my brother when he went to Purgatory. I discouraged Lily from looking for him. I left her when she wouldn't stop. I fell in love with another woman when I promised to always love and cherish Lily. Not being there for the birth of my children but I promise I will be there for the next and those that come after. I uh, I think that clears everything up." He took a deep breath of relief. "Oh, wait. I'm sorry for hitting that dog."
Lily reached over, grabbing his hand. "I'm proud of you." She whispered, kissing his cheek.

Dean was with Cas, who was working on sending the angels back to Heaven. For good. Sam was inside, giving Crowley his first injection of human blood. Lily picked Gemma up from the stroller.
"Can Mommy talk to you for a minute, princess?" Gemma nodded. "Mommy's going to have a baby. But you knew that already. You're going to get another little brother. How's that sound?"
Gemma nodded. "No sisters." She said sternly.
Lily snickered. "No sisters, Gems."
Sam came back outside. "How are my two favorite girls doing?" He asked, bending over to kiss Gemma on top of the head.
"Good. I was just telling Gemma about her new baby brother. How's it going in there?"
Sam shrugged. "Still got seven injections left. How about I go grab some dinner before the next one?" Lily nodded, saying that was a good idea. He kissed her briefly and got in the Impala, driving off.
Lily played with Gemma's hair. "Your daddy loves you very much, Gems. You and your brother mean more to him than the whole world. Don't ever think that he doesn't love you." She said in a quiet voice.
Sam came back a few minutes later, a bag of food from a diner in his hand. "So, I got Gemma some chicken nuggets and fries and a water and I grabbed us some salad and soup and tea. And Henry...well...you got that one covered." He smiled. He handed Gemma her container of food and opened it for her.

"He bit me! He freaking bit me!" Sam shouted as he stormed out of the church.
His forearm was bleeding profusely. Lily got out of the car. She frowned as she took his arm. She kissed it and the wound disappeared, along with the blood. "There. All better." She smiled.
He smirked down at her. "Something else is hurting too."
Lily smacked his arm. "Don't be gross, Sam. At least, not right now."

"Shit." Lily whispered. The church was shaking, the ground rumbling. Was that the trial? Surely, Sam hadn't finished. Henry began to cry. She took him from his carseat. "Shh, sweet boy. Don't cry. Mommy's got you." She said in a soft voice.
Someone came flying from the window. Was that...Sam? Oh God, it was. Lily put Henry back in the carseat.
"Gemma, you know the drill." She told the three year old. She left the car, running to Sam. "Hey, what the hell happened?" She asked, helping him up from the ground.
"Abbadon happened."
Of course. When things started to go wrong, they really went wrong. "Get the holy oil from the car. We don't have a lot of time."
Sam ran to the car, grabbed the oil and they went into the church. Abbadon was beating the living shit out of Crowley. Lily lit a match, tossing it at Abbadon and Sam threw the oil. She burst into flames, a cloud of black smoke flying from her body and out the window.
"Syringe him." Lily told Sam.
As Sam approached, picking the syringe back up from the floor, Lily fixed the Devil's Trap. "Hey! No! What're you dong?" Crowley yelled. "Stop! We should be loved! We deserve to be loved! I want to be loved!" Crowley moaned.
Lily raised her eyebrows. Sam looked back at her. "Finish it." She told him.
Sam drew more blood from his arm, wincing in pain.
"Will you tell me what you said when you confessed? I would like to know where to begin to ask forgiveness." Crowley inquired of Sam.
Lily crossed her arms over her chest, walking towards Crowley and Sam.
"We'll start with this and work our way up." Sam held the syringe out. Crowley cocked his neck to the side. He injected the blood into the demon.
Sam took a piece of paper from his pocket. Lily touched his arm. "I'm here." She reminded him. He nodded and began reciting the spell. He took his knife and sliced his palm open. It began to glow an orange color. He held out his hand, ready to touch Crowley.
"Sammy, no! Stop!" Dean shouting, bursting through the doors.
Sam turned, stopping himself from touching Crowley. "Where's Cas? What's going on?"
Dean panted. "Metatron lied. If you finish the third trial, you're going to die."
Sam looked at Lily. At her face. Her stomach. He glanced out the window, at the car that held their children. "I promised you." He whispered. "I promised that if I ever left again, it would be to keep you safe. To keep our children safe."
No. He couldn't. "Sam. Don't. It isn't worth it."
"I'm so close!" He told her. "People will die if I don't finish this!"
Didn't he understand? Didn't he see? "Sammy, listen to me, man." Dean begged his baby brother. "With all the knowledge we have from this, killing hellhounds, curing demons, we can change the game. But not without you. We need you, brother."
"You barely do it with me, Dean. You don't trust me, you said so yourself."
Lily chewed on her lip.
"That wasn't what I meant, Sam."
Sam nodded. "Yeah, it was. You wanna know what I said when I confessed, Dean? My greatest sins were letting you down. Letting Lily down. Letting my family down. I won't let that happen again. Ever."
Lily reached out to touch him but he stepped closer to Crowley. "Sam," she began, "we need you. We've always needed you and we always will. I can't...I won't lose you again. You promised me you would stay. Don't break that promise. Don't leave Gemma and Henry. They need you."
Sam ducked his head, soft sounds coming from him. He was crying. "What happens when you decide you can't trust me again? Who's Dean gonna turn to? An angel, a demon, a vampire? What's next? And you. You'll turn to Dean. You said it yourself. You fell in love with the wrong brother."
A sob caught in her throat.
Dean didn't look at her. He kept his gaze on Sam. "No, man. Sammy, that ain't gonna happen because you're gonna be here with us. I killed Benny for you. To get you out of Purgatory. I am willing to let every demon walk free so you can live. Nothing comes in front of you, Sammy. My entire life has been about protecting you and that ain't gonna change. I'm begging you, little brother."
Sam blinked as he looked at them, tears rolling down his cheeks. "How do I stop?" He asked quietly.
Lily let the sob go. Blood dripped from his hand onto the floor, the orange glow beginning to fade away.
"Let it go, Sammy. That's all you gotta do." Dean said, walking to his brother. He wrapped a bandanna around Sam's cut.
Sam looked at his brother. "It's in me, Dean. You don't understand."
Dean pulled Sam in for a hug. Lily turned on her heels, running out of the church. Lily fell to her knees on the ground, wrapping her arms around herself, crying.
"Hey, you. Come help me get this idiot to the car." Dean yelled.
Lily stood, wiping her eyes. She helped Dean carry Sam to the car. Sam fell against the car, groaning in pain.
"Sam?" Dean asked. "Sammy?"
Lily grabbed Sam by the shoulder. "Hey, look at me." She whispered. He gazed up, hazel eyes cloudy. "Call Cas. Now." She told Dean.
She helped Sam to the ground, hands on his shoulders. "You're beautiful." He told her.
"Cas, no." Dean groaned, looking up at the sky.
Lily looked up. Bright lights that seemed to be meteors were falling from the sky. No. Those weren't meteors.
"What's going on?" Sam wheezed.
Lily and Dean looked at each other. "The angels are falling from Heaven." Dean told them.
What had Castiel done?
Lily looked back at Sam, hands moving to his face. "Don't you dare leave me, Sam Winchester. You can't die. Not until I'm your wife again and you see your son being born. You can't die until I die."
He moved his head, kissing her hand gently. "Promise."
She smiled, crying. She moved his hair from his face. "I love you."
Sam smiled that gorgeous smile he got when he was flustered. "I love you too."