Anon Asked -
Sasuke sleep walks.
So this is a happy sad prompt. :) Mistakes are all mine.
xxx
The moon is high in the sky when Sakura's viridian snap open. They travel around the room surveyingly, only to narrow in understanding. The empty space beside her indicates that it has happened again. Reaching out blearily, the girl notes that the mattress is still warm. The spicy scent of her lover permeates her senses and the pinkette needs to force herself upward or she may fall asleep once more. It has been a hard week for the medic (having been on call), and tomorrow is her first day off in a long while.
When Sakura moved in with Sasuke this didn't happen often – maybe every couple of months. Now, he is sleep walking almost every night and it is worrying. His performance in the field is starting to be affected, and it's even putting a strain on their relationship. Which is strange, because things should be okay for them. It took two full years (after the war) for Sasuke to work through his anger and depression. The curse of hatred is not something to be trifled with and it was an uphill battle for the last Uchiha. It was heart breaking to watch as Sasuke sunk further into the depths of despair. He didn't even fight the Hokage for binding his chakra and putting him under ANBU watch. When the restraints were removed a year later, Sasuke didn't even train. He was a living corpse with no goals and no sense of self.
Then, on one sunny day, Team 7's female member was sick of it all. She found Sasuke and gave him a piece of her mind in the only way he would be able to understand. It took at least a dozen chakra ladden punches and many broken bones before he fired up and fought back. Sakura initiated the battle desperately and put her all into it. They fought for hours on end and Sasuke damn near killed her. Still, it had to be done.
Afterwards, no words escaped his battered form. He merely watched her with blank lifeless eyes. Sakura didn't speak either, not until she readied to leave the field after healing them both.
"I love you Sasuke-kun." She murmured, just loud enough for him to hear. Then Sakura was gone and she was sure that her assault made no difference. If anything it probably helped her vent her own selfish frustration and nothing else.
Sakura was mistaken though, because Sasuke showed up for training the next day. It was the first time he participated since returning home, and was the first step toward their tentative relationship. Life returned to normal (relatively so) and the Uchiha accepted the counselling Konoha offered. He never talked during the sessions, but the fact that he went was progress enough.
Then came a day that Sakura never anticipated. Sasuke kissed her in the middle of a spar, right out of the blue. It was amazing and sexy and horribly clumsy. After that, they kind of sunk into a routine that involved small surprising moments that indicated an intimacy between them. They were so fleeting and random that Sakura didn't even think that they were together. Not until Sai made fun of her for being ugly and boyfriendless.
Sasuke was quick to defend her and the pinkette was surprised to learn that he was her boyfriend. For a long while Sakura openly gaped before murmuring hopefully - "We are together?"
Sasuke replied, "Hn" and Naruto spat his ramen all over the counter.
Needless to say, it is one of Sakura's fondest memories.
Despite the pleasant life they lead, it was obvious that Sasuke was still hurting. Not to the outside world, but Sakura could tell. She can tell. Gazing at his expressionless face there is nothing to be found, but his blank eyes always were too telling. A fact that Sakura will never mention for fear of Sasuke clamming up even more.
They live together and he allows her to pour emotion into him, with the only reciprocation being acceptance. Sakura knows that Sasuke cares because of the little things - The softening of his eyes when he looks at her, the way he will squeeze her hand or return an embrace, and the intense love making that shows so much of his passion and hurt that it has actually made Sakura cry (more than once).
Though things have slowly been declining over the past couple of months. The looks have become more fleeting and the love making less often. Sasuke has become irritable and harsh, picking fights for no reason.
He says that it isn't true, but Sakura is convinced that it is because of that damned photo. The raven haired nin has grown so much and learnt so little at the same time, because a family portrait was enough to crack his carefully laid groundwork. The Hokage gave it to him when she instated the Uchiha memorial day. Itachi has been considered a hero for many years now, and Sasuke took that fine. He was happy even. But this – this broke him.
Sighing heavily, the tired kunoichi pulls on a pair of loose shinobi pants not bothering to change out of her sleeping singlet. Walking swiftly to the genkan the pinkette glares down at Sasuke's shoes before slipping on her own sandals.
Then Sakura heads out into the cool night air. She knows exactly where to go.
xxx
The wind is strong in this part of Konoha as the trees rustle and animals chatter. Sakura doesn't come to the Uchiha Compound often but it is starting to look good. The newly built houses are well maintained and the couple are planning to move in the main house next year. It is hard to imagine the hundreds of bodies that scattered these small roads, but it is easy for Sakura to see the scared little boy that became the hardened avenger. The Uchiha massacre is truly a tragic event in history and is something that Sasuke may never recover from. Not that Sakura would want to force him to be well, she knew right from the start what she was signing up for.
Reaching her destination the woman stands and observes for a moment with sad eyes. Sasuke gazes down at the grave stone of Uchiha Mikoto with sightless eyes. He is sitting on his knees with both hands atop the cold concrete. The light of the moon makes his alabaster skin glow angelically and Sakura can see the bare muscles of his back ripple with each shaky intake of breath. This is the only part of the Uchiha Compound that survived the destruction of Konoha, along with a small training area. They are currently at the far outskirts of the village and it seems very peaceful here.
Stepping closer tentatively, Sakura stops a foot away from Sasuke. Crouching down also, the pinkette reaches out to wipe away a trail of tears rolling down his cheeks. These moments are the only times that she has ever seen him cry, and it is heart breaking.
"Sasuke-kun." Sakura whispers, and his fingers grip the head stone harder. Her hand cups his cheek gently and the girl creeps forward.
"It's okay Sasuke-kun." She tries again. This isn't the first time she has said this to him, but every time feels like the first. "I love you."
"Sakura." Sasuke chokes and his head snaps upward. The sharingan swirl slowly as he looks ahead, but the glazed crimson say that he is still asleep. "Don't love me." He begs and it makes her chest tighten, just like every other time he has said it.
"Why not?" She asks, despite knowing his reply. This must be masochistic, seeking out the same answers each night.
"I can't love." Sasuke mutters and his fingers release the grave top only to fist against the ground. "I can't."
"But why?" Sakura whispers, running her fingers through his soft black hair. Slipping closer she takes a hold of his bicep and the nin turns to grab her surprisingly. Well this has never happened before.
Grasping her upper arms tightly Sasuke's sightless sharingan entrance her watery emerald. Her chest feels like it is in a vice and the tears streaking his cheeks do nothing to help the situation.
"Because." He says with wide eyes, he looks like a child again. "You can't die." His head falls against her shoulder as strong hands release her slowly.
"I won't die Sasuke-kun, I promise." Sakura says against his hair, engulfing the shinobi in a hug. They must look a sight, on their knees in the dirt, embracing tightly.
"I love you." Sasuke strains, and his shaking increases. "You're going to die, just like them."
"No." She fires back resolutely, "There is no way you can know that." Sakura is absolutely astounded. She was aware that his emotions had manifested into this disorder, but she had no idea that it also involved her; Involved their rapidly progressing relationship.
"You will...The photo." He assures with more strength to his tone. "The photo." Sasuke murmurs once more, and as he says it again Sakura realises that Tsunade's present was merely the last straw.
"Oh Sasuke-kun." The pinkette gasps sadly. Heavy tears finally slide from her eyes and she holds her lover almost painfully tight.
Suddenly, the man in her arms in jolting and it only makes her cry harder. "Sakura." Sasuke says with complete awareness. The sadness is gone from his tone and he sounds just like his normal self.
Ripping backward he holds her by the arms once more with eyes agape that almost show fear.
"We are here again." He observes, relaxing minutely to wipe away her tears. A wetness touches his nose and the nin moves to wipe his own face. With surprise Sasuke says accusingly, "These are tears."
"H – Hai." Sakura stammers and the couple fall silent for a short moment. It seems that Sasuke is processing the information. She is right, because his now onyx eyes begin to spin rapidly pulling her into a world of his own making.
When Sakura becomes aware she is standing beside Sasuke and they are watching...themselves.
"I didn't mean to copy this." He says from the side, and the pinkette merely nods.
"I love you. You're going to die just like them." The memory shinobi cries and Sakura clutches at her heart as tears fall against her cheeks.
The moment ends and the emotional woman finds herself in the real world once more. Only now it is he who is holding her. He is strong against her and his hold is solid.
"I didn't know I felt that way." Sasuke says into her hair, as his fingers rub soft circles on her lower back.
Gazing up at her first and only love Sakura kisses his chin softly, he is human just like the rest of them, it is just so easy to forget.
"I think I knew, in a way." She murmurs, burrowing into his neck and gripping bare shoulder blades.
"Sakura." Sasuke calls her attention and his voice is soft, less stoic. He breathes in deeply, "Don't die," he implores softly, just above a whisper.
"I won't." Sakura replies as tears streak down his torso. "I won't, I promise."
In a world of pain only tears can wash away the hurt. Acknowledging sadness is the first step of healing.
