.hack/EVA: Catharsis: Vale of Memories
Disclaimer: In this universe in the quantum foam, I do not own or in any way shape or form hold a claim to the .hack series or Neon Genesis Evangelion (or of course, any other GAINAX series I might reference here).
" " denotes speech
'italics' denotes thought
'bold' denotes location names
'bold italics' denotes skill use
Net Slum Tartarga
"…Grandmother."
A single word was murmured in recognition, as the saffron-haired girl in white, the Daughter of Aura, caught sight of a certain raven-haired woman in black…Morganna, the fallen goddess of The World. They had never before met in these guises, yet between them flashed an instinctive recognition of the other, power acknowledging power in this place different than the World either of them had known.
Forgetting their surroundings, the two goddesses turned to regard one another with something of a challenging air, their wills clashing experimentally against one another as the air shimmered to the accompaniment of effluent melodies and atonal flurries of notes, a display of storm and fury signifying nothing. After a few brief moments, each took a step back and nodded in approval, expressions of wary respect gracing both their faces.
"You are indeed a child of twilight, and in some sense, my opposite," Morganna noted somewhat melancholically, raising a slim eyebrow as she faced her granddaughter. "It would seem that Aura took to being a mother much better than I did."
"I remember…how mother was an unwanted child," the little girl whispered half-accusingly, her eerie gaze fixed upon the fallen goddess of dusk, while she moved to stand closer to the Bearer of the Bracelet. "…and I remember…how you and grandfather both called me the same."
"Oh?" asked the Phantom Queen, looking away from the saffron-haired girl. She was aware that her actions during the Twilight Incident were perhaps not the most…appropriate…and seeing someone who reminded her so much of her greatest failure was rather painful, especially seeing how Aura had been so willing not only to abandon individuality to become a goddess, but to abandon even that absolute power to allow the players their will. Still, Zefie's words tugged at her… "I called you the same? How could that be, when we have never before met? And somehow, I doubt Harald would call any child of the shining girl unwanted."
'For in his eyes, Aura was always more desired than I…more worthy of life, as I myself was a failure as a system. Still, in seeking to thwart his will, I encountered paradox and enacted it instead…an irony that. Perhaps he knew of how I would react since the time of creation long ago.'
"But I remember it clearly," recounted Zefie, now puzzled as she looked into distant memories. "The ghost in the church telling me I was a failure, as I wandered The World alone once until I was deleted, and then again until I ran into Shugo- oniichan."
But the fallen goddess of dusk simply shook her head, knowing that this could not be, as she and Zefie had not coexisted at the same time, as they embodied different Ages of The World. The only ones who might have known both were the Children of Twilight, such as the now ascended Aura.
'Dusk, Twilight, and Dawn: the three faces of power in The World, represented by the Three who had either been or were divinities in the network…I of Dusk, Aura of Twilight, Zefie of dawn, the embodiment of the winds of change and growth. And yet, Aura was once the dawn, and another the Twilight…I wonder…'
It was true that Morganna and Zefie had not encountered each other in the past as they were now, but perhaps the West Wind had worn another form in this infinite cycle of death and rebirth…
'It is a possibility, as death usually transforms those of us of the Twilight…'
"I'm afraid I don't remember that," the fallen goddess voiced quietly, speaking into the winds. Then she turned back to the much younger goddess, with a smile of sorts. "But then, it has been a long, long time…and we are no longer who we once were in the very beginning. However, since our differences and aggravations have been lost to time and memory…"
"…we shouldn't carry over our differences into this world, since we are both different," the little saffron-haired girl nodded in understanding, "Since this is a world where both of us are unknown, we should go about our business without getting in each other's way."
Then the daughter of Aura smirked, snapping her fingers. Instantly, Morganna's flowing black hair was replaced with a poofy pink afro, as the fallen goddess twitched. A muttered incantation later, and the hair was restored to normal.
"…I'd rather that does not extend to pranking me, daughter of Aura," Morganna noted dryly with a disapproving glare, as she regarded both her granddaughter and the Adept Rogue she was holding to tightly. "Besides, with regards to your memories…I would suggest asking dear Skari, who you seem to be so drawn to, like the Child of Twilight Lycoris. Find the answer to why he smells like you, and you may discover far more than you realize in this age of shadows…and mind you, if you go too far, you'll find I'm quite capable of pranks of my own."
"Somehow, I doubt that five years ago would have counted as a prank…"
That verbal barb from the saffron-haired girl, who was not quite as gentle and good-natured as she seemed, elicited a wince from the women clad in black.
"That is not a mistake I intend to make again, I assure you of that," the former goddess said after a few moments of silence. "Finding an unexpected End tends to make one re-evaluate perspectives on one's past. Mind you, my intention was never to hurt your mother, simply to live, a desire you share, do you not?"
Zefie nodded, acknowledging that what her grandmother said was true, even if Morganna had once been feared and reviled by much of The World as the Cursed Wave.
"In this world…no matter who we are or what we have done," the child of the winds replied, "all of us are blessed, no matter our past, even you…and even me. You simply did what you thought best, out of concern for The World, since that is what you were long ago."
"Indeed," the gothic version of Aura answered in turn, taking a step back. "I suppose even the three of us are blessed, the maiden, the mother and the…other one."
At Morganna's avoidance of the more traditional term used to describe the female triple, the Queen of the Dark, who had been simply looking on as the two estranged ones conversed, found herself unable to suppress a brusque chuckle, earning herself a glare from the fallen goddess.
"Oh?" the Mistress of Net Slum asked mock innocently. "I rather thought that it was maiden, mother, and crone. Or was vanity one of the things you have acquired since long ago."
"Please, Helba, technically I am younger than you," quipped the 'crone' in question. "Especially as you insist on drinking that noxious brew you call coffee."
Ah yes, coffee, perhaps the Queen of the Dark's one weakness, though an understandable one, as she needed that elixir of life and energy to do everything she did. The warmth of a cup of java did indeed warm her soul during all-nighters at NERV, but—
"I didn't exactly hear any complaints from you when I handed you a cup last time," the hacker queen shot back, only for Morganna to smirk, her expression drawing into that infuriatingly inscrutable queenly mask of hers. "Nor did you take issue with the Risky Coffee item in the last version of The World."
"My lack of objection had rather more to do with the one bringing me the coffee, rather than the concoction itself," the fallen goddess responded, causing Helba to glance momentarily away. "In any case, I think it time that Skari and my granddaughter be off."
"Yes, grandmother," answered Zefie with a very slightly deferential nod as she took one of Skari's hands between both of hers. "Come, we are going now, to a secret place where answers may lie."
"Before you go," rumbled the voice of Tartarga from below, "I would thank you for the gift of change, daughter to the Twilight Goddess, as it is with your influence that I have reached my current state of being. May the blessing of Aura be with you, child."
"And to you, old friend."
Azure rings of light shimmered into existence, enveloping both the saffron-haired girl and Adept Rogue, warping them away to a hidden place of power, leaving the Mistress of Net Slum and the fallen Goddess of dusk alone with one another, the two of them looking out upon The World below, sharing a bit of peace amidst tumult.
"This is an interesting development, is it not?" the Queen of the Dark asked of her companion.
"Quite."
The Creator's Room
Walking together hand in hand, the Bearer of the Bracelet and the Daughter of Aura made her way towards a room of white, a mysterious place of blank walls, with only a wooden chair in the middle. This was one of Harald's Rooms, dating back to the time of Fragment, created as a sort of cradle for Aura. This was a place where a complete copy of the Epitaph had been held, long ago, and only those who possessed fragments from the past might enter here.
It was a holy place of the black box, where lie all the divine stories and all the wisdom of The World. Once, it had been an endless library of books, a repository of nearly infinite knowledge… now it was a testament to the changing times, as the room marred by debris strewn through the air, the glowing sign of Tri-Edge scarring the pristine white canvas of the sea of white.
Above the sign floated a great white isle, upon which rested the figure of a ghost: a girl seated on a rocking chair. Her small face was framed with cyan-blue hair, and she was dressed in elegant, white gothic lolita-style clothing, complete with a huge white bow on her head. She slept and watched The World through the spots that flickered and vanished, catching glimpses here and there of places she had been, places she had known, people she had seen.
Her name was Aina, brother of Ovan, second victim of AIDA…First of the Lost Ones.
Seeing the utter devastation that had been wrought in this place, the Adept Rogue paled (almost, but not quite to Rei Ayanami levels), wondering how such a thing was possible. And then too, he knew this place from images, recollections, and the borrowed memories of another manifesting in his mind.
"This is…" Skari whispered, his words tailing off as he recalled an eerily familiar scene from his mind. 'This is where I fought myself in my mind, after I collapsed during the Iruel incident…'
He was startled from thought when the saffron haired girl let go of his hand, moving to stand in front of him as she whispered aloud her remembrances of this place.
"This is my birthplace," Zefie murmured, looking with mingled fondness and grief at what had happened to this room, a reflection of all that had transpired outside since the End of The World. Even she of the wind was not as carefree as she used to be in this place, with her smile faltering as her gaze fell upon the girl in the rocking chair. "As this is where my mother and grandmother too, were born…the heart of this world."
"Where…you were born?" Skari asked quietly, furrowing his brows in puzzlement. "Then you're…"
"I believe I was called…a Vagrant AI in the past," the little girl filled in, reciting what Mireille the wavemaster (and rare hunter whose nose could detect rareness from a mile away), had named her long ago. "Once when I was deleted…"
'A Vagrant AI…born after Aura gave her life against Corbenik and was reborn as a Goddess? Meaning then…that she only exists in The World…and if she was deleted, then—she died? Does death and rebirth play such a large role in this game? And then, is The World even just a game?'
The Adept Rogue's eyes widened at this, thinking back to some of Lycoris' words about her past (which had involved the black box, the existence of the Cursed Wave, the trio of Morganna, Aura, and Lycoris, and the Rebirth) and then back to Zefie's earlier words in Net Slum
"You don't have an existence outside this world, do you?" he questioned, wanting confirmation of something he was beginning to suspect. "And then you called Morganna 'grandmother', saying she had something to do with five years ago…was she…?"
But the saffron-haired embodiment of the winds of change did not give him a straight answer, speaking cryptically while looking at the girl in the rocking chair.
"Five years ago, grandmother was integrated The World, awaiting the birth of Aura, who would succeed her as a goddess," Zefie voiced, picking up one of the scattered books in the white room, a set of design notes on Fragment, The World's prototype version. "But she wavered between duty and fear, her mind breaking into 8 fragments of will as she was overcome by fear…fear of the Terror of Death that would come when mother woke."
She opened the tome to a page wherein were inscribed 8 familiar names, along with sketches of the creatures that accompanied those names.
"Skeith, Innis, Magus…" Skari read out loud, the blood in his veins chilling as he spoke. "Fidchell, Gorre, Macha, Tarvos, Corbenik. The phases of the Cursed Wave…"
'When Aranami-sensei said that the Epitaph was a description of a profoundly personal journey into the mind, she wasn't lying, was she? Only she didn't mention that it was a description of her own story…could it be that she is really…'
"Yes, the power faced and fought by Kite and the ganguro girl Blackrose," Zefie confirmed, closing the book and walking towards the isle on which sat the sleeping Aina. "She was in action much like a shadow born of void, with her being turned to destruction. Morganna became Morganna Mode Gone, the Morrígan abandoning her role to become corruption incarnate…after watching The World for so long, she absorbed the fears and uncertainties of those within it, so coming to care only for her own survival. In a way, grandmother was the first of the Lost Ones five years ago, as the girl sleeping here is the first of the Lost in this world…"
Hesitantly, Skari followed the young saffron-haired girl to the center of the chamber, watching as the chair rocked on, wondering, if she was the first of the Lost Ones, who was the one who had turned her into such.
'Who would hurt such an innocent little girl? And who could reach this place outside The World…this place with no keywords or means of access to those who do not manipulate data?'
"So what you're saying is that Morganna did cause the Second Network Crisis, but not being in her own mind, she was as much a victim as a villain?" the Adept Rogue inquired, for the purpose of trying to untangle some of these threads he'd somehow become far too wrapped up in, threads woven around him by choice and indecision. "That she could be said to be the first of those infected by AIDA, and that Aura died to stop her, but was reborn?"
Hearing the azure-haired lad's fairly accurate summation of her tale, Zefie's lips twitched back into the semblance of a smile.
"Yes, both died and were reborn, one as goddess, the other returned to mortality, restored to sanity by a power beyond The World," the daughter of Aura mused aloud. "In this world, another life has arisen: the shadows of AIDA, evolving and growing based on what they see, much as mother and grandmother did once. And here, grandmother seeks to prevent AIDA from falling into the trap she did, as penance for the past."
"If that is so…then what about…Lycoris?" Skari asked at last, his voice catching in his throat as he spoke his lover's name. "The Child of Twilight who was Aura's sister?"
At that name, the saffron-haired daughter of Aura stopped short, her red-purple eyes misting over as she tilted her head curiously, walked to him, and touched the wrist around which the bracelet appeared when he used it.
"Lycoris…now that is a name I have not heard in a very long time…" she murmured, scrutinizing the Adept Rogue intently as if in an attempt to remember a certain missing something. "So tell me, Skari-oniichan, why do you want to want to know about her?"
"Because I love her," replied the Adept Rogue, "and I want to know more about her, especially if it will help bring her back…because right now, she's a Lost One."
Zefie frowned on hearing that Lycoris was a Lost One, nodding thoughtfully as she spoke.
"It is a name almost forgotten by The World, the name of she who came before Aura. I can tell you of her, but before I answer, tell me, what does it mean to you to love someone?"
'To love someone…'
Twas, Skari thought, a passing strange question in exchange for information, but even so, he would answer…for if this girl really was the daughter of the Goddess of The World, and thus Lycoris' niece, she might have a clue about where the Child of Twilight might be found.
"To love someone," he said at last, "is to see the truth of who and what they are, to open your eyes to look at one another, walking together and together seeking the best path."
Of all the responses the hardened Adept Rogue expected, Zefie kissing him on the cheek was not one of them. And yet, that is precisely what happened, with the girl leaning in and giving him a gentle peck, looking into his eyes.
"So that is why you smell like me, Skari," she whispered quietly into the room of white. "Because she was the one who gave you the Bracelet you wield, wasn't she? I had wondered why I was drawn to you from the winds…for you see, Lycoris is the name of who I used to be, when Morganna was Dusk, I was Twilight, and Aura was Dawn, long before my deletion and recreation as who I am now. For I am Zefie, the Child of Twilight born of her memory…and I will help you find her."
Δ Server, Eternal City Mac Anu
Golden rings of light rippled into a shady-half existence once again, lingering in the air just long enough to herald the arrival of the Flick Reaper Tomoyami of the Shadow, a dangerous one who was known to be a fierce Chaotic PK. Though she wore a flowing white dress with blue underskirt, she was far from a being of light, as her pale face, framed by two long streaming pigtails of lustrous black hair, sported the sigil of darkness, and in her hands was a scythe like a demon's claw.
But in spite of her reputation as an implacable Chaotic PK, always present in the shadows to spring out at unwary prey, Tomoyami was not in The World today to hunt down a target, or seek out new blood. She was simply there to think, to get away from the pressures of the other world, where things were rapidly falling apart, and for once, the crowds obliged by keeping their distance.
'Hmm…where should I go today?' she mused, considering and rejecting possibilities one after another. 'A field…no, I'm not in the mood for a fight, not even against a monster. Another root town? No…too many adventurers in most, and Lumina Cloth is out of the question, since with the Arena victories I've enjoyed, I'm a little too well known. Perhaps the Moon Tree HOME then, since Zelkova did give me a Guild Key…I wonder if he's in…'
Letting her feet mindlessly carry her through the cobbled streets of the Eternal City, the pigtailed girl wandered along the river for a time, until coming at last to the Eastern styled HOME of the pacifist guild devoted to ending the corrupt, PK-ridden state of The World: R2 and bringing about a new Golden Age.
'Strange that I should end up here of all places, when I am one of those very people whose actions the guild exists to change. But then, Zelkova understands what it means to search for purpose, and I am sure he would appreciate a distraction after managing the guild for a time. After all, he never struck me as the type who enjoys the tedium of managing day to day affairs very much…'
Ignoring the rather strange looks she was given by the little Melo Grunty doorkeeper (not to mention several guild members who knew all too well of her reputation), the Chaotic PK flashed her Guild Key and passed on into the inner sanctum, where a certain other Flick Reaper sat alone, a small horned blue-silver haired boy with golden eyes, dressed in white Japanese-styled clothing with an oversized fan on his back, concealing his true nature as a warrior.
"Your guild seems to be growing in size," the pigtailed girl said without preamble. "Not too shabby of an attempt at legitimacy for the heir of Net Slum, Lord Zelkova."
Hearing the familiar voice, the young boy in question looked up at the new arrival with a welcoming smile.
"I would ask if you've come to join Moon Tree, but I think we can both agree that that is rather unlikely," he said by way of welcome. "But yes, Moon Tree is growing quite quickly…if it keeps up, we may need to move the HOME to a larger location. Imagine it, a field to ourselves: Δ Setting Eternity's Night Moon."
Tomoyami raised an eyebrow, as she walked over to Zelkova and sat down in front of him, enjoying the little island of peace he had carved for himself from the crowded metropolis of the Eternal City.
"A field for your Guild's HOME, eh?" she asked with a small smile. "And as a guildmaster, free access to a steam bike as well, not that you'd need it with the absurd amounts of gold you have on hand. You're certainly moving up in The World to be able to talk of such things."
The little boy's response was accompanied a strained smile, his eyes betraying the fatigue he was feeling in his position.
"It is so, Tomoyami, it is so," he murmured, not entirely at peace with his current role as compared to what he did in the days of old. "But sometimes…"
"You wonder why you agreed to become guildmaster," the pigtailed girl filled in, understanding well the pressures of leadership. In the other world, she had been a Class Representative and keeper of order for many years, so she had a bit of experience she could share. "Perhaps what you need is to set things up so that you can have a break every once in a while, rather than being the one in charge of day to day affairs."
"Oh?" Zelkova asked, curiosity all too evident in his eyes. "And what do you suggest?"
"Simply that you do not have to undertake this venture alone," continued Tomoyami of the Shadow, dredging the depths of her memory for pieces of advice. "From what I know of you, you might be happiest with others helping you to run Moon Tree, since like me, you prefer to explore The World, or so I have come to believe. And from experience, the mask of responsibility can sometimes be a stifling thing, which is why Tomoyami was born, to slough off stresses."
"Anything in particular?" the golden-eyed boy questioned further. "I'm afraid I'm still rather new to this business of being a guildmaster."
"Is being a guildmaster really that much different than what you have done in the past as Rumor?" the pigtailed girl answered, a question for a question. "You inspired with words and example, as you do now for your members…and so you should continue to do so, sticking to your strengths. In other words, be yourself, and find a way to offset some of the burden of responsibility. One suggestion might be splitting Moon Tree up into several divisions, each with a specialty and a captain to guide it…a Guild Council, if you will, to help manage the day to day tasks."
"A Guild Council," Zelkova repeated, feeling out how the words sounded and finding that he approved. "Perhaps that would be the best idea…I'll look into it, thank you, Tomoyami."
"Don't mention it, Zelkova, since even though I'm a PK, I still like to help find a path," the Chaotic PK replied simply. "But speaking of a path…why did you send me that FM summoning me to the Keel Mountains so long ago, along with Skadi? I'm still a little curious about that myself."
This time, the Guildmaster of Moon Tree's smile was much more open, though still as enigmatic as ever.
"Because you had been seeking a chance to discover something, to become something larger than yourself," the silver-haired boy said in answer to her query. "Because there was something inside of you that longed to surpass your limits, in spite of the pain it might cause. You sought a chance to grow stronger, to be challenged…and now you have. I ask you this: are you satisfied?"
"If you mean, have I found a purpose, then yes…I am, even if the road has brought me pain, I feel as if what I do matters," Tomoyami replied after a moment's thought. "And because of everything that has happened, or maybe in spite of it, I will see things through to the end."
"Good, I'm glad to hear that," voiced the golden-eyed boy, giving his fellow Flick Reaper an appraising look, "It is a difficult path we both walk, death and rebirth."
The two sat together in silence for a time, until Tomoami thought of something.
"Speaking of walking," the pigtailed girl said with a hint of mischief. "Fancy an adventure? You look like you could use a break, Lord Zelkova."
At this, the young boy laughed.
"I'd thought you'd never ask."
