Chapter Sixteen: A Surprising Event

"Morning, Colonel," Havoc said walking into Roy's office. He glanced around and was surprised to see Hawkeye organizing several packages piled up in the corner of the room. "Uh... admirers?" Havoc asked, though he doubted it just from the aggravated look on his face.

"Presents for Lt. Kathleen," Hawkeye answered when the Colonel didn't.

"Oh yeah, her birthday is tomorrow isn't it," Havoc laughed.

"You're not going to hand me a gift for her too are you?" Roy demanded.

"No, I'll just wait until she gets back," Havoc answered shaking his head. "No, I just wanted to know if I could get tomorrow off."

"Again?" Roy asked in exasperation. "Havoc, this is the third time this month."

"I know, but she's usually busy during the evenings and so the day is the only real chance I get to see her," he pleaded. "Even if it's just for a few hours."

Roy's face became even tauter. He was glad that his Lieutenant seemed to have bounced back over the past couple weeks. But nevertheless... what was he going to do when Elly came back? From the sounds of things Havoc was becoming extremely attached to this new girl. Either she was a truly amazing person, or Havoc was just looking for something to cling on to. He wanted to deny the Lieutenant, but at the same time he didn't want his friend to sink back into depression.

"Two hours," Roy settled. "You may have two hours early off tomorrow, but this is the last time. Understood?"

"Clear as crystal, Colonel," Havoc said happily saluting him and walking to the door. He stopped before he could step through the frame. "Hey, Colonel, be honest. Do you think I'm doing the right thing?"

'Why is he asking me that after begging me for time off?' Roy thought aggravated. "It's your life, Havoc. What you do with it is your own choice to make. Do you like her?"

"Yes, of course I do," Havoc answered immediately. "She gorgeous and funny and wonderful. How could I not like her?"

"Well then stop second guessing yourself," Roy replied. "Now get back to work."

"Sure thing, Colonel," Havoc said with a nod before leaving.

"You have a fantastic way of giving advice, Colonel," Hawkeye stated from the corner.

"I don't see why I should give him any," he muttered trying to keep it low enough for her not to hear it.

She did though and shook her head. "It's good that you can, Colonel. But try to take your own advice."

Roy sighed and leaned back against his chair. She wasn't the first to scold him, and probably wouldn't be the last, not with Hughes still haunting him. Before he could muster up a reply, someone knocked and he looked up to see Fuhrer Bradley walk into his office.

Roy quickly stood up and saluted. "To what do I owe the honor and pleasure, Fuhrer Bradley?"

"I'm glad I found you, Mustang, I've got a gift for Lieutenant Hughes when she returns," Bradley explained with his usual smile. "I assume that when she returns you'll be the first to know so I wanted to make sure to get it to her before I forgot. I am getting old after all."

'Not old enough,' Roy thought to himself. Out loud he said, "I will be sure to give it to her when she arrives back Fuhrer."

"Good, I'm glad I can rest assure that she'll get it. I hope she doesn't mind the lack of wrapping, but I figure it would save her the trouble," Bradley said before pulling a book with a shiny red bow out from behind his back and handing it to Roy.

Roy took the book without looking at it and saluted the Fuhrer. After that, Bradley left and Roy once again took his seat. As he did so, he went to toss the book into the pile when he caught a glimpse of the front cover. "Impossible...why in the world would the Fuhrer get such a thing for her? Does he even know what this monstrosity entails?"

"I don't understand why you're getting upset, Colonel," Hawkeye said not even glancing at the book. "It's not as if he's giving it to you for your birthday."

"Lieutenant, do you know what it is that Lieutenant Hughes enjoys reading?" Roy asked eyeing the book as if it was something disgusting.

"Graphic romance novels," Hawkeye stated knowledgeably. "If I'm correct in thinking, the series she's currently reading is called 'Commander of my Heart'. My guess would be what you're holding is the latest volume of the series."

"Yes, but it's the content of said romance that disturbs me," Roy muttered. "I can't understand how she's able to read it at all."

"Then maybe you should try it," Hawkeye suggested.

"I'd gouge my eyes out before making the attempt," Roy stated with finality.

Hawkeye shook her head. After a few minutes she finished organizing the pile and saluted. "If you'll excuse me," she said before walking out shutting the door behind her.

After a few moments of silence, the Colonel looked at the cover again and grimaced. "Well, she did say it was about a military man," he thought. "Maybe I should...try a page or two."

He untied the bow and opened the book to the first page. The image he saw was a young looking military man staring harshly down at a quivering effeminate looking soldier.

The very first couple lines in the speech bubble read: "ANSWER ME. WHAT OTHER SECRETS ARE YOU HIDING?"

The effeminate looking soldier quivered a bit under his glare, but managed to put on a brave face. Then he said, "What does it matter? I would only be making excuses."

"I am your commanding officer, I have a right to know what my subordinates do...such as your affinity for cross dressing."

"Sounds almost like what I go through with HER on a daily basis," Roy grumbled.

Without even realizing it, Roy continued to read on, and needless to say, the paperwork on his desk remained untouched for quite some time.

xxxxxx

"Hm, so this is the guy she used to work for?" Greed thought staring at a picture of two males, one of which had dark hair and a dark trench coat on over his uniform. The other also had dark hair but wore glasses. Out loud he murmured, "From what the guys told me he's supposedly the renowned ladies man of the military. But… I'm not seeing the draw."

"Draw to what?" Haku had walked in looking both alert and fatigued, as if she hadn't received the appropriate amount of sleep the previous night but had compensated by overdosing on coffee.

"Not anything important," he replied putting the photo away. "I am curious as to how you are right now though."

Haku shrugged. She didn't really have a sense of her state of being anymore. She just as soon not think about it. Nothing good ever came from it. So she would distract herself by going over chemical compounds and different transmutation designs as well as different theories she might be able to try once she was able to freely use her alchemy again. "Everything's fine."

"You don't look so good," he told her. "Maybe you'd like to take a nap."

Haku shook her head, "No, I' don't need one."

"Your red eyes say otherwise," Greed murmured. "You don't have to sleep, but why don't you come lie down and rest." He patted the bed next to him as he spoke.

Haku deliberated for a few moments, and after deciding there might be little harm in it, she walked over and sat on the corner of the bed a couple feet away from him.

Greed shook his head, smiling to himself as he found her awkwardness comical. "You're not going to get any rest if you're tense like that. You need to relax a little. Or are you thatcreeped out about my age?"

"No… I've gotten past that," Haku told him, though her body language stated otherwise.

If there was one of many things Greed prided himself on, it was his keen ability to read body language. He reached up slowly and gently placed his hand on her head. He met a little resistance at first as he tried to pull her head toward his lap. "You need to rest, and you can use my lap as a pillow. It is soft enough, as long as I don't feel threatened."

Haku couldn't help but smile and she eased down, resting her head against his leg. "Wish I had something like that," Haku said contemplatively.

"It's not as fun as you think," Greed said. "I can't just bring it out whenever, I'd cause too much of a commotion and then my cover would be blown."

Haku had to admit that would be a bit of a drawback. Anybody who saw him take a bullet and not even flinch would be suspicious, possibly even frightened. Still, the pros seemed to outweigh the cons in her opinion after having been in the hospital so many times from injury (even though sometimes it was her own lack of forethought that led up to it). "Bido made it back."

"Did you thank him?"

"I gave him a hug and a kiss on top of his head… and then he passed out for some reason."

Greed chuckled. "It's not often he gets such attention from a cute girl."

"D-don't call me cute," Haku muttered.

"Just look at my darling sister! Isn't she the cutest thing you've ever seen?"

"Thinking about home?" Greed asked noticing her temporary zone out.

"Sort of… but it's not like I can go back now though," Haku sighed. Before Greed could inquire she continued, "When I left, I left my uniform and my state alchemist watch behind. That's as good as a letter of resignation. I'm a deserter now…. There's no going back."

"Hm, so that would mean you and I have something in common," Greed said lightly. "I'm guessing though you didn't come here just to share." He smiled when her body shifted guiltily. "Well, ask away."

"Okay," Haku said relaxing back. "So, can any of you reproduce?"

"Are you worried about something?" he asked in amusement.

"Yeah… that your brother might have demonic offspring running around," Haku stated.

"Well, to my knowledge, no. A homunculus can't reproduce. Besides, even if they could you wouldn't have to worry about him. I'm almost positive he pitches a hard curve," Greed told

"A what?" Haku asked in confusion.

"Bats for the other team, turned a blind eye to the fairer sex, one who came out of the closet," Greed rattled off. "Understand any of those?"

"What a thing to say…. Though, judging from his choice of clothing, I guess it's not too far fetched," Haku said after some thought.

"Besides, I've never seen him attracted to any woman," he added. "Or any guy for that matter…so maybe he's only attracted to himself."

"So, is he a guy or a girl? It's hard to tell."

Greed laughed at that and as he shifted, Haku heard something crinkle in his back pocket. She wondered if it was the thing he had been looking at when she came in. Thoughts of snagging it just to taunt him with it entered her mind.

She lifted herself just high enough to get a look at what it was and spotted a paper with a bit of color on one of the corners. Acting quickly, she reached for the paper and pulled it out before Greed could stop her.

"Great, she found it," he thought. "Now things will get a little complicated."

Haku had sat up to get a better look and saw that it was a photo. What she hadn't expected was that she would recognize the people in the photo. She was silent for several moments until she spoke at last in a hollow voice. "Greed…. Where did you get this?"

"It was a little bonus when we looked into who you were," Greed replied with a shrug. "When we found info on your old Colonel we asked around and the first girl we talked to produced that copy…which apparently she had several of."

Haku stared at the photo of her brother and Roy, looking as if they were both having the time of their lives. She remembered how her brother would talk on the phone with Roy for hours about his wife and child, and sometimes her. And when he visited, he would drown the Colonel in photos. Roy once became so irritated he almost set the pictures on fire. Her brother had always been so happy and loving, kind to anyone and everyone he met. He was one of the few people who deserved death the least, and yet…

When her vision shifted over to Roy, the image suddenly became really blurry, and she soon realized what was happening. She got up from the bed and tried to leave the room with the photo in hand.

She was stopped, however, by Greed who wrapped his arms around her and placed a hand on the photo she was clinging to. "You need to calm down first, and put the photo down," he murmured lightly in her ear.

"I am calm," Haku said, forcing her voice to keep steady.

"No, you're not," he said.

"I want to go back to my room," Haku said as she tried not to blink. Because if she did…. She needed to get out of there. She kept a tight grip on the photo, unwilling to relinquish it.

"Put the picture down," he said calmly.

"No," Haku said. "I'm not putting this down. I'm not leaving it with you. I'm going back to my room." She moved just a bit too hard, and twin diamonds fell from her eyes onto his arm. Crap…

She felt his grip tighten slightly at this, and then he slowly turned her around. She stared defiantly at him but that disappeared when she felt his forehead touch hers. His scent filled her lungs and his breath fell gently on her face as he spoke. "You need to let go, or you'll only be hurting yourself more."

Haku didn't want to let go, but at the same time, she knew he was right. Her brother was gone, and he was never coming back. She was dead to Roy, and she couldn't change that either. Her vice-grip on the photo loosened, until she felt Greed slip it from her fingers.

He pocketed it after that and pulled her into a tight and gentle hug. "You left that life…and you've said it yourself, there's no going back…so don't dwell on it, or you'll break yourself."

Haku against her better judgment rested her head against his shoulder as she felt a headache coming on. She wasn't sure how to move forward. What did she have to work for now? What future could she possibly hope to gain now that she was as good as a fugitive? For the first time in her life… "I don't know what to do."

"Stay here, and help us out," Greed murmured. "It's a purpose if nothing else…and you'll always have a place to stay. Plus, I will never throw you away."

These words were of powerful reassurance to Haku, and even though she still felt awkward in his hold, it was getting a little bit easier to not feel embarrassed about it. Slowly her arms lifted and they hugged around Greed's lower torso. For some reason, she felt immensely better in doing so.

xxxxxxxx

"What are you doing there?" Hoenheim asked Elly who was sitting on her bed carving up a block of wood with a knife. Wood chips and shavings lay scattered on the floor.

"Well, it's almost my friend's birthday, so I figured since I'm missing it I could at least make something to give her once I get back," Elly explained, nicking off another piece.

"I see... but why aren't you using your left hand?" he asked.

"Give me a break," Elly snapped. "I want this to look good when I'm done." It was only barely starting to get a shape.

"So what is it you're carving?" Hoenheim politely inquired.

"A cat," Elly explained. "She loves the things too much and is constantly bringing strays in from the streets. Back at Eastern, our apartment was usually crawling with the fur balls."

Hoenheim smiled. "Such a good girl, helping those in need."

"She helped waaaaaaaaay too much," Elly grumbled but smiled nonetheless. "But she did manage to eventually find homes for them… the nut."

"It looks like there was one she couldn't find a home for just yet," Hoenheim commented.

"Really? How would you know?"

"Because she's still searching for one," Hoenheim answered.

Elly stared at him for a moment trying to understand what he meant and a little later she finally did. "No, she did finally find one," she murmured with a smile. "It just took her awhile to realize she'd had one all along."

xxxxxxxxx

"Hey, get up."

Haku groaned as she felt a hand attempting to shake her awake. She rolled over facing away from the person, wanting to go back to sleep. A few seconds later both pillow and blankets were simultaneously ripped away from her, leaving her with just the bed. She gave an angry mutter, "Mmm, go 'way."

"You need to get up," the voice (whom she identified as Greed) spoke again.

"I dun wanna," Haku said burying her face into the mattress. She had been up until the wee hours of the morning playing with Bido. He had asked her out of the blue and she, feeling like she owed him, happily obliged. It wasn't until she started showing signs of zombism that he helped her to bed.

"You'll be disappointing Bido," Greed said. "He made you breakfast this morning and he was really looking forward to you trying it."

Normally Haku would feel badly about this, but he desire for sleep outweighed her guilt. "I'll eat it later."

Greed frowned when she refused to move, even without her pillow and blanket, but then his smile returned and he sat down on the edge of her bed. "Well I guess you really don't want to go...so I'll just stay with you and we can nap together," he offered. "At least then you'll be able to stay warm."

Haku looked up to glare crankily at him. "Touch me and die." "You gotta be scarier than that if you want to frighten me off," Greed said. "Now are you getting up or will I have to drag you kicking and screaming?"

Haku grumbled in sleep deprived frustration but sat up. "Fine." "Good, and be sure to wear something nice," Greed said getting up and walking out. "If you're not up in the bar in ten minutes I'm coming to get you, dressed or not."

Haku sighed before dragging herself out of bed and getting dressed. The best thing she could find was a fitted tank top and crop pants. Once she was ready, she left her room and went up to the bar area.

When she reached it, the room was completely dark and there was no one in sight. Feeling agitated by the rude awakening and the annoyance that is Greed, she decided to just leave and blame it on him for not being there. As she turned around, the lights flipped on and everyone jumped out from their respective hiding places shouting "SURPRISE!"

Haku nearly keeled over from the shock of it. And before she knew it people were slapping her on the back and congratulating her. "Wh-what…?" she managed to get out. "What are we celebrating?"

"Don't tell me you forgot your own birthday," Martel said skeptically.

"I… hadn't planned on celebrating it," Haku admitted.

"Who doesn't celebrate their birthday?" Dorchette demanded. "That's one of the few things we get to celebrate down here." "Miss Haku, we all got this cake for you...please celebrate with us," Bido asked looking up at her with hopeful eyes.

Haku, being unable to say no to his pleading eyes wearily conceded. It wasn't long before her sleepiness was all but gone. She was kept busy with party games, drinking games, and some had even opted to get her small gifts. Crocodile man even taught her how to make a drink called 'swamp water' and once she was done, she downed it. She remembered taking two full steps before losing consciousness.

Crocodile man hadn't expected the result he got from allowing her to have such a strong drink...but that doesn't mean he didn't enjoy it. After only two steps, Haku started laughing hysterically and turned around to give him a kiss on the cheek thanking him through slightly slurred words. She then proceeded to kiss every male present, making Roa blush a little, Bido pass out in shock, and Dorchette want to pull out his blade.

Then she turned to Greed but just as she got within a foot of him, she suddenly passed out, forcing him to catch her before she hit the floor.

"Well, how unfair is this?" he asked shaking his head. "And me being the nice guy, I can't just steal one when you're like this...I won't get any reactions out of you."

"Sorry, Master Greed, I didn't expect her to be such a lightweight," Crocodile man apologized.

"Don't worry about it," Greed said, waving his apology away. "You guys keep having a good time. I'll take her somewhere where she can recover."

xxxxxxxx

"Thank you so much for visiting," Gracia told Roy setting down a cup of coffee in front of him and sitting down across the table from him after handing Elicia her sippy cup. "It's a shame Kathleen couldn't come home for her birthday."

Roy graciously accepted the coffee and took a courtesy sip before setting it back down. He focused on Gracia, ignoring the ghost Hughes who decided to make an appearance as well as a futile attempt to hug his daughter. "I know she probably feels the same way," Roy said. "And I'm sure she's doing fine." He wished he could be as sure as he made himself sound.

"I know she is," Gracia said with a smile. Roy must have let the confusion he was feeling towards he declaration show on his face because she stood up from her chair, walked over to the kitchen counter, and picked up an open envelope before giving it to him. "This arrived just the other day. You can read it if you like."

Roy pulled a letter out of the evelope and unfolded it. He easily recognized it as Kathleen handwriting. It wasn't very long, but the writing did not appear rushed. From what Roy was able to deduce, she had time to write it, but didn't know what to say... or possibly what she was allowed to say. He began reading:

To my beloved sister and niece,

I'm sorry I left for such a long period without any forewarning. But let me assure you that it was something I needed to do. It's a difficult endeavor I am currently working through, and I have no idea how long it's going to take me. Things have been going well for the most part. I really can't give you any details, but please do not worry about me. Just remember that I love you both.

Sincerely,

Kathleen Hughes

P.S. If you get the chance, please give my regards to the guys…. And Lt. Hawkeye.

"When I read it, I felt so relieved," Gracia said patting Elycia, who had walked up to her mother's side, on the head. "Silly, I know. But it was good to hear from her."

"That isn't silly at all," Roy told her, but his eyes didn't leave the letter. While it was indeed a breath of air to know she was alive out there whereever she was. But what really bothered him, was that no where in the letter did it ever mention if she was planning to return or not.

"You're worried about her aren't you," Gracia guessed. "Well, don't be. I can tell, that just by sending this, she's telling me that she still worries about the people here and will come back when she's finished her mission. I'm sure she won't allow herself to fail, not when she still has a family to return to."

'That's true,' Roy thought in his mind. 'She wouldn't leave her brother's wife and child alone like this. Not after what happened. Even though she tries to hide it, she still cares.'

"Ah, isn't my wife just so smart," Hughes sighed with heart bubbling out from his ghostly form. "Oh, Gracia, how I miss being able to hold you in my arms!"

"Hughes, now really isn't the best time," Roy thought trying very hard to ignore the ghost floating just inside his line of sight. "Elicia! Come to daddy and let me hold you...let me scratch you cheeks with my beard just once more!" He of course passed through the both of them without them even realizing it other than being a little chilled.

Roy then decided it was time to leave before Hughes found some way to make Roy look like a fool in front of the wife and child. He quickly finished the rest of his coffee before setting the letter down and standing up. "I hope that the rest of your week goes smoothly."

"Same to you. Please let Kat know she has a pie waiting for her when she gets back," Gracia said smiling.

"I shall," he promised heading for the door. "I'll come back, with her, shortly after her return, and I'll take some of that pie as well...if you don't mind." Gracia nodded and picked Elicia up.

"Come back soon!" she exclaimed excitedly. "I want to see Auntie Kat too."

Roy smiled at both of them and nodded before walking out the door. Unfortunately Hughes decided to follow him for some reason. "Say, Roy… what are you planning on getting Kat for her birthday?"

"Nothing," Roy replied shortly. "I have no obligation to get her anything, especially after putting my own neck on the line to keep her job."

"I know you're having a rough time, but don't you think that she had her reasons for leaving?" Hughes told him seriously. "Be honest, do you want her to come back?"

"If I didn't do you think I would still have this thing?" Roy said digging a hand into his pocket and pulling out an alchemist watch.

"Wow, you carry that with you wherever you go?" Hughes said impressed. "That's a relief. I was beginning to wonder if you were thinking of just giving up on her."

"If I did that, Hughes, it would be admitting that I had been covering for her," Roy pointed out. "But at the same time, I would have been betraying your trust as well."

"That's good to know, because until Kat comes back, I'll be sticking around here."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's sort of like unfinished business I guess you could say," Hughes told him. "I came back for two things. The first was to help you cope, but the second and biggest things, was that I came to see the two of you settle your differences and come together. I've already told you that you're the only one I'd trust her with… and you two really do make a good pair."

"You're wrong Hughes, but I will look out for her," he promised. "She left this time because I didn't think I could...I won't make that mistake again."

Hughes smiled sadly at him. "You say that… but I think you'd be surprised."

Before Roy could reply he was gone, and the Colonel couldn't help but feel a might irritated for coming and going at his own convenience. Some things never changed. "I can try… but she has to want me too."

xxxxxx

When Haku woke her head was pounding and she felt a little sick. "Where am I?" she slurred trying to move her body which felt like it was entirely composed of gelatin. She was on a bed, and the scent of it, even in her state, was all too familiar.

"Out of the limelight," the voice she expected answered. "You passed out for a few hours after that drink, but you sure made the guys happy."

"What do you mean?" Haku grumbled.

"You went on a kissing spree and kissed just about everyone there."

Haku might have felt more mortified if her stomach wasn't so upset. "Bracelets… could you get them for me?"

The homunculus frowned at her. "You haven't earned those yet… and I'm not sure how comfortable I feel about you using alchemy in that state."

"It's either that or I throw up on your bed," Haku told him.

Neither action sounded appealing but he went with the first one. "You get just one," he told her handing over one of them. "But what do you need it for?"

Thankfully that one was the one she needed. "Just watch," she said before taking a few moments to concentrate before there was a spark of alchemy and she opened her eyes again looking much more steady and alert.

"What did you do?" Greed asked, holding out his hand for the bracelet.

"Just reset my body chemistry," Haku said, gripping the bracelet tightly in her hand, making no move to give it back. "It's simple in theory, but it takes a lot of focus."

"Impressive since you were so out of it," he said nodding. "Now it's time to give that back."

"But it's mine."

"You haven't earned it yet.

"I shouldn't have to. It belongs to me."

"Yes, but you used alchemy to attack us twice."

More out of desperation than anything, Haku looked up at him with the most wide-eyes, pouty, and possibly sexy face she could muster. "You don't trust me?"

Greed smiled comfortingly and Haku thought she had him as he came closer to her. "Of course I do…just not with those," he said grabbing it in one swift motion and walking off. "Nice try by the way, you really did look very cute."

Haku frowned in displeasure. She so missed being able to use and practice her alchemy freely. "Can I have them back as my Birthday present?"

"Uh…no," Greed chuckled. "You still have to earn them…much like you have to pay me for info. Which, by the way, you still need to finish paying for Bido's little trip…. And the champagne."

Haku stared in befuddlement. "What champagne?"

Greed reached into a small bucket that he had in his room and pulled out a bottle of a golden liquid and popped the cork off. "This champagne."

"Haven't I had enough alcohol?" Haku remarked.

"This stuff is light, so unless you drank the whole bottle, you should be fine," Greed assured her, grabbing two glasses and filling both up about two thirds. Then he went over to the bed and sat down next to her, holding out one of the glasses which she reached up to take out of politeness.

Greed, however, pulled it out of her reach and she lowered her hand in confusion. He set down his own glass before reaching forward and holding the drink in front of her face. "Open wide…and say 'ahh'," he instructed.

Haku's face and ears burned uncomfortably as she glowered at him with a 'do you honestly expect me to do something stupid like that?' look. Her mouth tightened in a thin line as she willed the glass to shatter in his hand.

"Open up…or I could just get into the main payment right now," he said without moving the glass away from her.

Haku made a noise of disgruntlement, and she thought about knocking the glass out of his hand, but that would probably result in even more compensation. So she swallowed down her pride and parted her mouth about half an inch.

He smiled and tipped the drink against her parted lips and into her mouth. When he pulled it back she wiped the corner of her mouth. "I could have just done it myself."

He just laughed before handing her the glass. "Happy birthday."

Haku didn't say anything in response but, he didn't need to hear one. He just sat back and drank his own champagne, savoring the flavor. "This is a great flavor, but I want to try your flavor, again."

Haku just swirled the champagne in her glass, watching the bubbles float up from the bottom, knowing full well what he was implying. But she wasn't about to give that up without a fight. She had been caught off guard last time, but she wouldn't let that happen again. Even if it had been… somewhat enjoyable.

He drained his glass and set it down next to the bed and waited for Haku to finish hers. She took her sweet time with it though, as she wasn't keen on finding out any time soon just what he was planning next.

Sadly the drink could only last so long, and Greed was very patiently sitting there watching her, assessing her, scrutinizing every shift or twitch she made. The last of the bubbly beverage was drained from her drink and she set hers on the floor too while mentally bracing herself for what was to come.

"Are you ready?" he asked placing a hand on her cheek.

"Just do it," Haku muttered.

The homunculus happily obliged and began his work over the usual spots; the shoulders and neck area. This time, however, he added on a little lip on lip contact, though not much. His hands traveled over her body reached the more familiar places and attempting to move onto more uncharted areas.

This was when Haku seized his hands with her own, effectively stopping them before they reached below her waist. "Not there."

"Why not?" he asked in disappointment.

Haku stated in blunt honesty, "I don't want you there."

"A special area reserved for your Colonel?" he guessed.

That was an unexpected blow that hit hard. "You really are related to themif you enjoy twisting the knife this much," Haku stated bitterly.

"Yes I'm related…but at the same time I'm not nearly as bad as they are," Greed acknowledged. "If I was, I would have already completely claimed you."

"So then why don't you?" Haku challenged viciously. Rape seemed almost preferable compared to this slow, physical and mental torture. She felt as if her mind, body and heart were being pulled apart in different directions one bloody piece at a time.

"Because I like to keep my things in good working order," he answered. "I don't like to see them broken. I'm trying to fix you."

"Then why do you keep taunting me with that?" she demanded.

"Because unless you face it and realize what you want you'll never be repaired. You wanted something, but you don't even know what it was."

Haku felt her anger disrupted as she realized that he was right. She didn't know. She wondered if she really wanted to be with him or if it had just been a powerful yet still fleeting infatuation. But would it really hurt this much if it had been? Why had she given up so easily? She held fast to her emotions, not daring to set them loose in physical form.

Greed stared at her for a few moments before sighing. "Alright, since it's your birthday, I'll cut you a little slack. But only this once," Greed said and kissed her once on her forehead. "Would you like to stay here, or would you prefer to be taken back to your room?"

"I'll go back to my room," Haku said getting up and walking to the door. She stopped when she placed her hand on the handle. She felt guilty, wallowing in her own self pity, when Greed was actually at least making some attempt to pull her back up onto her feet. She was stuck in a hole and all he could really do was wait at the edge with his hand outstretched waiting for her to take it. But she was so angry at herself that all she could do was toss it back in his face. Misdirected anger truly was dangerous. "Greed, I'm sorry."

Greed smiled at her words and he stood up, going over to her and wrapping his arms around her from behind. "It takes more than that to make me angry," he whispered. "Just remember, I'm always here if you need me."

"Even though you say that, there's something really wrong with me," Haku said soberly. "I'm a mess right now."

Greed laughed. "Don't you think I already have that figured out?" He released her and gave her head a playful ruffle. "I don't expect you to get better right away, but as long as you're trying, feel free to take your time. Though… if you're up for it, I know someone who might be able to lend you a hand."

"Like a head shrink?"

"Not quite," Greed said. "The doc is an expert of hypnosis. He may be able to help you sort through some of your bigger issues. But it's up to you whether you want to try it or not."

"I'll think about it," she said before she bid him goodnight and began to leave, but as she walked out the door, an unexpected stinging sensation attacked her rump and she flew forward with a startled yelp. She turned around and glared at Greed who was grinning.

"What?" he asked innocently. "It was a birthday spank."

"You…" Haku started.

"Goodnight," he said with a laugh before shutting the door.

Haku rubbed her tender bottom and made her way back to her room, muttering insults about the guy. But even so… for some reason she didn't feel as angry as she felt she should have been. "Happy Birthday, indeed."

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CM: Hmm, what's this therapy that Greed has in mind? And will it help? Will Haku finally be able to discover the root of her constant desire to keep others at a distance? Stay tuned!

Also we'd like to apologize for the super long chapter, just complain to us and we'll never do it again. :P

Now time for the after chapter funny. Enjoy!

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The sun had set by the time Roy Mustang managed to make it home. He slowly stepped through the doorway and dropped another package on an already knee high pile before collapsing onto his long couch. Not moments later, the doorbell rang and the weary soldier groaned knowing exactly what he'd find on the other end.

Slowly getting up, Roy made his way back to the door and opened it to find another soldier carrying a package in his hands. "Can I help you?" he asked in a forced politeness.

"Um…I'm not entirely sure when Lieutenant Ice Cold will be returning so I thought I'd just drop this off with her superior, for her birthday," he said holding the package out.

Against his better judgment, the Colonel took the package and thanked the man before closing the door. "For being one of the most feared women in the military, she certainly seems popular," he sighed. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say most of these are just to appeal to her better nature so they don't become her next victims." He was about to drop the package on the ever growing pile, when he heard a faint sound come from the box. "Please don't let that be what I think it is," he prayed silently noticing that the box had holes in it.

Slowly he pulled the ribbon off, discarding it onto the floor and placed his hand on the lid that had been wrapped separately from the box. He then peeled open the lid and took a peek inside. Wide little almond shaped eyes with diamond pupils stared up at him, as if they had been waiting for him. "Meow."

"No…. no no no No NO!" Roy dropped the lid which clattered to the floor forgotten as he rushed to his front door to catch the man who had dropped off the package. But alas, when he opened his door and looked outside, the man was nowhere to be found.

"I am not taking care of a cat," he inwardly declared. Despite this, he still returned to the inside and closed the door, leaning against it for support. "I don't know how to take care of a feline."

As his thoughts went in every direction on who to pawn the animal off to, he felt something brush against his thumb nearly dropping the box in the process. Looking down, he discovered that the cat had pulled itself into a standing position against the side and licked him.

"Mrow," it mewed in a very high pitched voice.

"You are not cute," he muttered at the cat, who mewed again.

The kitten began licking his finger and even started to nibble a little. "Stop that right now," Roy ordered as he switched the box to his other had while wiping his saliva coated thumb on his pants in revulsion.

It mewed again, louder and more insistently. "Stop yelling at me," Roy told it. "What do you want?"

It mewed again. And again. AND AGAIN.

"That does it," he muttered going over to the phone and dialing a number. "Lieutenant Hawkeye, get over here now."

Thirty minutes later Riza arrived at his house. "What's the problem, Colonel?"

She blinked when a small kitten was suddenly held up in front of her face by a scowling flame alchemist. She took the kitten and smiled lightly at it. "I didn't know you had a fondness for felines, Colonel Mustang."

"I don't, I need you to take it."

"Sir, I already own a dog."

"Which means you know how to be a pet owner," Roy pointed out. "I don't see the problem."

"Sir, dogs and cats do not get along."

"With your form of discipline I doubt that would be a problem."

"Colonel, I'm sorry but I cannot take her. Where did you get her?"

He pointed at the pile of gifts in the corner. "Another gift for the Lieutenant."

"Well, then that settles things," she declared before forcefully placing the kitten back into his hands. "You have to take responsibility, at least until Lt. Kathleen returns."

"I can't do that…I don't even know why this thing keeps yelling at me," Roy said grouchily.

"She's probably hungry, sir, so make sure you get her some nice cat food," Hawkeye said calmly.

"I don't know the first thing about cats," Roy said irately. "Can't you get one of your friends to take it?"

"No, sir, I really think you should be the one to care for it. Think of it as an enlightening experience. Besides, the company might do you some good," Hawkeye told him. "Just find a book from the library on pet care. Anyway, it's late and I need to go home and give Black Hayate his bath."

He started to protest again, but was cut off by the snap of the front door. "She could have at least told me where I could get cat food," he muttered looking down at the fur ball in his hands. "Stay here and I'll get you something," he finally said putting the cat down on the floor and walking out the door again almost wishing someone would just assasinate him and put him out of his misery.