Hy, everyone, sorry for the hiatus. I'm so bad. Short chapter today, and here's a warning- there is no psychobabble. There is no legend. There is no serious... except for maybe two seconds worth... in this entire chapter. Some of you might take note of the title- let me explain it. This, folks, is chapter 42. There's a bonus chapter that throws the count off. This is not 43. It's 42.
And so I have decided to have fun.
I've wanted to do this for a very long time now. This chapter... is educational in many ways. You will learn many things. You will laugh. You will be disturbed. You will see what happens when Mew decides to be disturbed. And you will see Anti... be Anti. Gods, I love that phantom.
Anyway, this is one of those chapters where I am going to sincerely ask for reviews, if only to see the responces to one scene. I'll leave you guys to figure out what it is. It's just... there.
Then again, you can say that about pretty much this whole chapter...
So let's go!
"Hey, Eve?"
Evetwo blinked, looking up from her book. Mew had disappeared, and Ellie was staring at her with an innocent expression that gave her the chills. She knew that look already, it was the human's "I'm going to ask you a very painful question now" look. She gulped "Yes?"
"How do Pokémon have eggs?"
"How what now?" It took Eve's brain several moments to fully process the question. Once it had, she found that she could do little more than fix the child with a blank stare. "Um...you're asking me this why?"
Ellie huffed as though it were the simplest thing on earth. "You're a Pokémon, aren't you? Who better to ask?"
Ah, cake. Had the girl forgotten? "Ellie," Eve said slowly, "I was born in a lab. They built me in a giant glass tube. I don't know anything about eggs." The clone paused thoughtfully. "Honestly, I didn't even know Pokémon had eggs... except for the birds and things..."
"Oh..." The girl frowned. "I guess you wouldn't know, then. Do you think Mew would tell me?"
"Maybe..." Great, now Ellie looked hopeful. The last thing the girl needed to do was give Mew- and Anti- a shot with this question. Unfortunately, Ellie was already scrambling to her feet
"Come on! Let's go!"
"Can't you go on your own?" Eve grudgingly got to her feet anyway. The child reached out and grabbed her wrist, tugging eagerly. The psychic scowled. "I can walk on my own."
"But you'll move too slow!" Nevertheless, the girl let go to run on ahead. Eve tried to walk a little slower, hoping the child would loose her entirely. Where did Ellie come up with these questions? She couldn't remember ever thinking about things like this back then, and she'd certainly never... Eve stopped dead in her tracks as Ellie ran towards Mewtwo. Oh, no...
But to her profound relief, the girl only greeted him with an overly-excited "Have you seen Mew?"
Mewtwo stared down at the girl, barely containing his scowl. "No, I have not. What do you require Mew for?"
Don't-ask-him-don't-ask-him-don't-ask-him... "I need to ask her a question," Ellie said earnestly.
Eve relaxed. Good! The child hadn't asked, and Mewtwo would never- "What was your question?" The psychic female's heart almost stopped. Had he just... he hadn't just... Well, he picked a fine time to start caring! Groaning, Eve realized there was nothing she could do as the little girl repeated her question.
"How do Pokémon have eggs?"
Well, Eve thought to herself as her brother's eyes grew large, maybe there was some comedic value to the situation after all. Mewtwo stared down at the human, his usual passive scowl replaced by the closest thing to horror Eve had ever seen on his features. He actually took a step back from the human. "Why would you want to know about that?"
"Because it's one of the great mysteries of Pokémon!" Ellie's enthusiastic reply only seemed to perturb him more; he turned away from the girl.
"In that case, yes, you will want to ask Mew."
"You don't even know, do you?" Eve blurted without thinking. Oh, man, that was the wrong thing to say. Now he was looking at her...
"As a matter of fact," Mewtwo almost growled, "I have read a bit on the subject. The topic is of no more interest to me now than it was then, and I do not have any desire to try to explain it to a small human child." Ellie didn't seem to notice the emphasis he placed on the word human, but Eve did. She scowled.
"In other words, you don't know," she accused again.
Mewtwo turned his back on her fully as Ellie looked from one of them to the other and back a few times. "It is not a subject that is relevant to my interests," he insisted once more.
"And here I thought ignorance was some sort of crime to you," Eve mumbled.
Turning his head only, Mewtwo glared over his shoulder at her. "It is."
"Then why-"
"Ellie, are these two arguing again?"
Eve turned to stare at the kitten- Mewtwo was really glaring now- as Ellie nodded. "They're being kinda stupid," the child said solemnly. "Mew, I have a question that they don't know the answer to. Can I ask you?"
Mew settled onto a low tree branch. "Sure, kid, ask away."
Taking a deep breath, Ellie voiced her question for the third time that day. "How do Pokémon have eggs?"
Mew raised an eyebrow, looking across at Mewtwo. "I can understand Eve knowing nothing about this one, but as much as you read..."
"I have read on the subject," Mewtwo snapped. "I have simply never studied it in any detail. It is not relevant to anything I need to know."
Eve couldn't resist. "He knows nothing."
"Mewtwo, don't you dare answer her on that one," Mew warned as the larger clone turned to fix his stare on Eve yet again. "Eve, don't bait your brother. He is bigger than you, you know."
"He's a bigger prat," Eve 'whispered' to Ellie. The child's eyes widened and she giggled, delighted by the secret confidence. Mew sighed.
"Now, I'm assuming we all have a general idea of the whole messy breeding thing, right?" Eve nodded slightly; she could remember, if she tried, asking where babies came from back then and the look of fear on Kyle's face. Ellie, also, was nodding. Mewtwo was turning and walking away. Mew stared at his retreating back. "Where do you think you're going?"
"To find something better to occupy my time with," Mewtwo said shortly. "This entire conversation has been pointless. I do not-"
"Sit," Mew said in a deadpan tone.
Eve flinched as the larger clone turned and glared full-force at the kitten. "Pardon?"
"Sit," the tiny psychic repeated, switching over to her mewling language. "Besides, you can't possibly tell me you've never so much as wondered how your body works."
"As a matter of fact," Mewtwo's tone was enough to make Eve flinch, "No, I have not. That is not an issue for me."
The cerulean-eyed feline drew back. "Ah, jeez, you mean they messed that up, too? Man, didn't Team Rocket get anything right the first time?"
This time, Mewtwo's voice did come out as a growl. "It is nothing that they did to me. I realized early that the instincts you are speaking of are pointless. They would have grown to interfere with my training before too long, so I used my psychic abilities to lock them away."
Mew stared up at Mewtwo with a stunned, slightly disturbed expression- her left eye was actually twitching slightly as her upper lip curled back in a disgusted snarl. "You seriously locked in your own instincts?" Mewtwo's jaw clenched visibly, and Mew abruptly changed the subject. "Eve, where are you going?"
"Away from you guys," the female muttered as she picked her way into the trees. She heard a sigh from the kitten.
"Eve, get back here and sit down."
"I've already reached my limit on things I didn't want to know for the day, thanks." She suppressed a small shudder. Ugh...
"Aw, how cute, little sis is trying to be sarcastic." Anti. Great. The cloned female turned, looking for the owner of the disembodied voice. The phantom materialized next to Ellie. "I did it."
Eve blinked. He did what? Mew nodded over to the phantom before switching back to telepathy. "Good. Now, Ellie... Mewtwo, sit down!"
"I have already told you, I am not-" Mewtwo trailed off suddenly, stopping short in his tracks and wincing as though he had been hit in the head. Eve saw the air ripple slightly. A barrier? Mewtwo spun on the kitten. No escape, then. She sat down as Mewtwo seemed to find his voice again. "Mew...there had better be a very good reason for this..."
"The city is dangerous right now," the kitten mewled quietly. "I was just in the area; Team Rocket is far too active at the moment. Soon they'll probably be further out in the forest, too. I don't care if you listen to the conversation or not, just stay here."
Mewtwo stared at Mew for several long moments, and for a few seconds Eve felt a nearly overpowering urge to just run, run before anything bad happened. She saw Mewtwo's eyes flash, and then Mew's. They were communicating... Finally, the two psychics looked away from each other and Mewtwo, to her surprise, walked over and settled under a tree, his back to the rest of them. She glanced over at Ellie. The child stared back for a moment before scooting over to sit next to the clone. Eve shifted her tail to the side; Ellie was too busy looking up at her to notice that she'd almost sat on it. "Did I ask at a bad time?"
"It's fine, Ellie. They're always like this, they never agree on anything."
"Why not?"
Eve frowned. Because they were both egotistical gits? She couldn't just say that, not with Mew there. The kitten's feelings would be hurt. "I still haven't figured that out..."
Anti stared at them, boredom evident in his expression. "So, what exactly was the conversation you guys were actually trying to have about?"
And before Eve could stop her, Ellie asked again. "How do Pokémon have eggs?"
The clone groaned as the phantom's whole face lit up. Oh, cake...
"Eggs, huh? I know about eggs. Eggs are..."
Eve stiffened. "MEW! Stop him before he finishes that sentence, please!"
Anti looked wounded. "Aw, come on. Don't you trust me, Eve?"
"I still remember the tracer round..."
Ellie's curls bobbed as she tilted her head. "What tracer round?"
"On this trip to Hoenn, someone shot me with a tracer gun. One of the bullets went right up my-"
"EAR!" Eve and Mew both yelled at once. Ellie stared at them.
"You guys are weird..."
"It tickled," Anti said with some pride.
"Can I please hurt him?" Eve whined, feeling the first pricklings of what could turn into a lovely headache. Mew sighed.
"If you figure out how to actually do it, let me know." The tiny psychic switched back to telepathy. "Now, if there are no further questions, comments, remarks, or outbursts, Ellie, what exactly is it you wanted to know about eggs?"
"I just wanted to know about them," the child said in her usual open tone. "I heard on TV that Pokémon have eggs, and I wondered about it. Like, do they all lay them or is it just some kinds? It seems silly to me that something like a Rapidash would lay eggs..."
"You know," Mew said with an amused tilt of the head, "you ask some pretty good questions."
Ellie blinked. "I do?"
"Yeah." The kitten nodded. "Most people would just say, tell me all there is you know. You actually ask about specific details." Ellie beamed as Mew settled onto the ground. "Okay, first thing's first. No, not all Pokémon have eggs. That was a good one to wonder about. Certain types, however, do lay eggs most if not all of the time. Bugs, for example, or flying types or dragons. Snakes and other reptiles also lay eggs. A lot of water types do, too, but not all of the time."
"What determines which Pokémon lay eggs and which don't?" Eve noted Ellie's hands inching towards her hair. Couldn't the child sit still without her hands doing something?
"The main evolutionary factor for determining which Pokémon lay eggs would have to be mobility, at least in most species. Take birds, for example. If birds reproduced through live births, the females wouldn't be able to fly during pregnancy- they'd be too heavy. Predators would be able to just pick them off one by one, and then they'd all die out. Most fish lay eggs for the same reason- you can't swim fast with a big bulge in you- although there are some common exceptions. Vaporeons and the Mudkip lines, for example, are agile enough that live births are okay."
"What else determines if a Pokémon has eggs or not?" Was the girl tugging on her hair? Eve turned her head, causing Ellie to drop the lock she had been looking at. The clone frowned to herself. What was it with this girl...?
"Well, from an evolutionary standpoint you could look at things like where a breed lives or what it eats." Mew's mouth twitched upwards at the corners. "Personally, I like to pass it off as the first Mew just knowing what would work."
"That's not very scientific," Ellie giggled. Beside her, Anti grinned wickedly.
"It's a legend," the phantom announced gleefully. "It doesn't have to make sense!"
Eve groaned as the human started laughing. "Anti, you're horrible."
"It had to be said," the transparent Mew retorted with an air of pride, leaning down to examine the way a rock was sticking through his foot. "If I was alive, that would hurt so badly..."
Ellie managed to calm down enough to ask another question. "What about interspecies breeding?" Eve stared at her. What did that mean?
Mew stared at the human. "Now, where does a cute little kid like you learn a term like that?"
"On TV," the child announced. Mew flicked her tail, studying the girl quietly.
"Suddenly I have a hard time believing that television rots your brain," the kitten said at last. "Interspecies breeding..."
"What does that mean," Eve interrupted. Try as she might, she couldn't remember any definition for the phrase. Then again, judging from the topic, it was likely Kathryn had never even heard the word.
"It means cross-breeding, basically. Like, say you took a Meowth and a Skitty. They're different kinds of Pokémon, but they can still have babies. The babies would just take after one of the parents, although I have seen some Pokémon that look like they could be bastard mutant hybrids..."
"Turtwig!" Anti yelled.
"We don't want to know..." Ellie frowned, looking ready to say something, and Eve repeated herself firmly. "We don't want to know."
The child spoke anyway. "How does cross-breeding effect what hatches from eggs?"
Mew grinned. "Very good, Ellie, you asked about what hatches from eggs, not what lays them."
Eve stared at the kitten. "There's a difference?"
"Yes, there is. A big one, as a matter of fact." Mew settled to sit more comfortably. "Okay, this is how interspecies breeding works. Listen carefully, Eve, I'm only explaining this once. Say you've got, I don't know, a nice little Squirtle. Squirtles, being both aquatic and reptiles, are known to lay eggs, but of course this little guy's a boy, so he doesn't have to worry about that. Anyway, our little Squirtle meets this nice Marill and thinks she's just the cutest thing. Eventually they hook up, and the next thing we know we've got a pregnant Marill on our hands. Now, Marill's are another exception to the water-type egg deal, so give it time and that Marill is going to give birth to a live baby, possibly to a little baby Squirtle... which is probably going to hurt like hell, but that's another story entirely. In that manner, an egg-laying species can be born live. Now say we flip the genders. Maybe that Marill has a brother, and he falls head over heels for that Squirtle's sister. That Squirtle is genetically hard-wired to lay eggs, and that's what she's going to do, even if her baby is a cute little Marill. In this sense, through interbreeding, just about anything can be born live- or hatch from an egg- if you can find two parents who are determined enough. Not all species can lay eggs, but that doesn't make what hatches from them any more predictable. You get it?"
"Sounds simple enough," Eve muttered as Ellie nodded eagerly.
"Good." Mew looked pleased. "So is that it or is there something else you wanted to ask?"
Ellie hesitated for a moment before voicing her next question. "How do Mews have babies?"
For a moment the tiny psychic's ears seemed to droop. "Live births," Mew said quietly. "We have live births. Only Mews can't interbreed because of a few unique features in our genetic code."
That piqued Eve's interest. "What kind of features?"
The kitten's tail flicked. "We have extra alleles, extra strands, you could say, in our DNA." The kitten's features softened. "That's why you're so special," the little legend mewled, leaving Ellie out of the conversation. "Your body should have rejected the transformation process completely. It should have failed, but somehow you survived. All I can think is that Arceus himself was watching you."
Eve said nothing, only letting the kitten trail off. Arceus, if he existed, probably wasn't even aware of her as nothing more than a nuisance. He was probably too busy making sure Palkia and Dialga kept things running smoothly and watching over all the more important, more natural Pokémon. If he was fully aware of her, he probably didn't care for her all that much. Why would a veritable god want his perfect world contaminated by a man-made thing like her or...
Her head snapped up. Across the clearing, Mewtwo was watching her quietly. Their eyes met, and she just knew he was aware of her thoughts even if he hadn't read them. For just a moment she thought she could see those same feelings she'd just been having reflected in his eyes before his gaze froze over and she had to look away... but not before she could hear his voice in her mind. "He would probably prefer you over me, at least."
She blinked. Was that supposed to be... comforting?
"BINK!"
Eve squealed as something gray reared up in front of her face. There was a rush of icy cold on her nose before the blur disappeared. The clone blinked. "What the hell was that?"
"You got binked," Mew said calmly as Anti's manic laughter rang out from the trees. "You were starting to zone out. Now watch your language."
"Fine," the clone grumbled. Why did Mew always have to say that? It made her feel like a little kid. Sure, she wasn't sure how old she was... a fact that made her flinch... but it wasn't like-
"BINK!"
"Kyaa!" Ellie yelped as Anti leapt up from the ground in front of her, swiping at her nose. Eve couldn't help it; she laughed at the girl's startled expression. The child's curls went flying as she dove behind Eve, trying to seek cover against her tail. "He's being mean again!"
But Eve was laughing to hard to tell him to quit.
