Remus Crux smiled to himself. He wondered how he hadn't seen it sooner, since the answer was right in his face the whole time. But he figured he was just too busy working on the very important case the Sanctuary had just wrapped up: one that involved a screaming banshee, sheep, and a jetpack. It had involved many puzzles, many of which were complicated, but could be solved after a few hours work.

Crux remembered cracking the very last few puzzles that led to the culprit. It turned out a lowly magical "criminal" was doing it. No one could ever remember his name. Was it Scapegoat? Scape…Remus knew it was Scape-something.

But getting back to the little mystery he had stumbled upon one day. Everyone in the whole Sanctuary knew of the special relationship Cain and Pleasant shared. They all knew they had denied it and just said they were friends, but instead they gave up and let that dumb blonde sword-handler tell everyone.

Of course, Remus Crux had known they were together, together. It was incredibly obvious. The way they talked. The way they looked at each other. The way they touched each other. Crux never wanted to see their hands drift somewhere…accidentally or on purpose ever again.

Yes, he had caught them once. They were both getting…very comfortable on the hood of that black hunk-of-junk Pleasant insisted on keeping. It was at those times he wished eye-bleach existed.

Remus Crux took a deep breath, thrust out his "chin" and marched confidently towards the awful blonde teleporter and Cain.

He knew he was right. He knew he had solved it.

He knew that Valkyrie Cain was most certainly with child.

"Valkyrie Cain," he said loudly. He heard her sigh, and watched her turn slowly.

"What is it, Crux?" she asked, clearly trying not to sound irritated.

"I know a very important secret your keeping from everyone here at the Sanctuary," he said slyly, wiggling his eyebrows.

Valkyrie laughed once. "Excuse me?"

"You're keeping a secret."

Her eyebrows rose, and she finally realized what he was talking about. "Alright, alright." She held up her hands in defeat. "I admit. I spilled coffee in the Bentley. Please don't tell Skulduggery," she said, and tried to not smirk, "he'll be furious."

Remus Crux stared at her. "That was not what I was talking about," he growled.

"Well I don't have that many dark secrets. I have secrets, but none of them are super scandalous. What did you have in mind?"

Crux laughed once, smirked and took a deep breath. "Valkyrie Cain, there is not a doubt in my mind that you are expecting a child."

Valkyrie stared, her mouth open.

Ha. He'd caught her.

"I knew it," he boasted. "I knew that you were pregnant. It was so obvious." He chuckled softly, and glared at Valkyrie. Her head was tilted unhappily.

"I am not pregnant," she said irritably. "I don't think anything about my person would make someone assume that." She folded her arms across her chest and stood up straighter, and she ended up towering over him a good couple of inches.

Remus Crux backed away slightly. "It's obvious. You're lying."

"Trust me," she growled, "I am not."

"Do you swear?"

"I never swear."

Crux huffed and stomped away angrily. It was only a few moments later when he felt something strong curl around his ankle and flip him upside down, so he landed with a great thump on his back on the floor. He staggered up just in time to watch Cain whip around and walk towards the teleporter. She whispered something in his ear, and in a flash, they were gone. But before they disappeared, he saw her play with a gold band around her finger. He also saw her hand hold her stomach slightly.

Remus Crux scowled. He knew he was right. After all, he was the head detective.

No one was smarter than him.


:3

Not sure how the idea came to me…but it did. So yeah. Thanks for reading and sorry for mistakes! :D

Yeeeeah…I realize this is kind of bad…WHERE HAS MY INSPIRATION GONE DAMMIT.

Ideas for a poor writer people?