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This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.
Thanks to Just4Ale for the vacay idea! The second half of this chapter was written to the very sad song, "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles.
Word Prompt: Ticket
Sunday, 19 February
"What about this one?"
Bella looked away from her screen over at mine and scrunched up her nose.
"Seriously, Edward?"
I looked back at the screen. "What?"
She cocked her head and looked at me like I was two and needed a good scolding. "When I said I wanted to go to the beach, I didn't mean camping in the wilderness for a week."
"Hmmm," I said, knowing she was serious, but wanting to tease her. "Well, I guess I can see what else they have…"
I glanced out the corner of my eye and saw her looking at my screen again, her eyes narrowed pensively. "Did"-
"Love, I'm just teasing. I know you don't want to go camping. At least not on this trip. But seriously, at some point this or something like it could be fun, don't you think?"
"Would we have to sleep in a tent?"
I laughed and wrapped my arm around her waist, tugging her into my side. "Come on… think about it. Me, you, naked and alone with just a piece of canvas between us and all of God's creation..."
"I think I prefer you naked and under a roof with running water," she said, patting my cheek.
I rolled my eyes. It was worth a shot. I had never been big on camping, but the idea of spending time with her outside, hiking, beside a campfire, and then snuggled in a sleeping bag sounded pretty damn amazing.
"Just think about it," I said, catching her hand and kissing it.
She smiled and turned back to her computer. We spent the next hour or so planning our next vacation, having settled on a wine tour of Sonoma. Bella's spring break was just a month away, so it felt like the perfect time to go. I'd already sent Ben a note and told him I needed that week off. If I had to work longer hours leading up to that point to make sure things were in place before I left, I would.
Side by side, we purchased our plane tickets, booked the bed and breakfast we'd both fallen in love with, and even began looking at different wineries we wanted to visit. It was sort of perfect, actually, and as much as I hated that we were going to have to say goodbye later, I felt better knowing we had a plan.
We'd also spent a fair amount of the morning talking about long term plans. We talked about the possibility of her moving out my way or somewhere in between, how that would impact her career, as well as the real potential for something more to happen in Connecticut.
"Would you really consider moving East?" I asked, somewhat surprised. Like I'd told her the other night, I had fully intended to move to Seattle, to simplify things for her, but with the handoff to Steve, I wasn't sure it was really an option any longer. I intended to talk to Ben, fill him in on my situation, and see what he recommended.
"Honestly, before I met you, I hadn't really given it much thought. After I got the position at UW, I had planned to settle in for the long haul. We English professors are sort of like that. We get comfortable and hunker down. But I've given it some thought, even looked into potential openings along the coast and in some of the other cities where your company has offices."
"Really?" I asked, my jaw dropping. I had no idea she'd gone that far, and it made me feel sort of warm and ridiculously happy.
"Of course. I mean, obviously I didn't say anything before about it because I had no idea where things were going, but I'm pretty sure we crossed that bridge this weekend." She paused and looked at me. "Right?"
I saw the brief flicker of uncertainty in her eyes and immediately grabbed her hands. "Bella, we definitely crossed that bridge. I love you, and at some point when we're both ready, I want to spend my life with you. Don't start doubting me, Pretty girl," I pleaded softly.
I saw the tension leave her shoulders as the slumped just slightly and a slow, reassured smile spread across her face. She leaned forward and brushed her lips against mine, soft and chaste at first then more determined and rough. I met her, head on, sucking her lips between mine, tasting her tongue, and wanting more than I knew we had time for.
"I won't. I'm not," she said as she climbed into my lap and burrowed against me.
We sat there, completely wrapped up in each other, both already dreading our goodbye, as the afternoon slowly passed us by.
~*WS*~
We grabbed dinner at a little bistro not far from Bella's house, both anxious to get out of the house. The mood was somber and reserved, but it didn't stop us from having a good time. Bella talked a little more about the conference she was planning to attend in Chicago at the beginning of April. She was excited about the paper she was going to present, and I couldn't have been prouder. Her enthusiasm was infectious, and it made me rethink the approach I'd taken with the Project From Hell.
"So, who will you be presenting to?" I asked, after swallowing a bite of my sandwich.
"Other professors, lecturers, and people interested in comparative lit. I'm hoping to use it as an opportunity to promote the book. If all goes according to plan, it should be finished and ready for publication by late fall. This will be a little teaser, something to whet people's appetites. Or at least I hope it will be."
"Are you nervous?"
She'd just taken a bite, so I waited for her to finish. "It's hard to say. I know people will be respectful even if they disagree with my conclusions. But yeah, I guess so. It would be weird if I wasn't."
I reached over and covered her hand with mine. "You're amazing, you know that?"
She blushed and lowered her eyes.
"Look at me."
She did, and I pressed on. "I mean it. Listening to you talk, hearing your passion for your work is cool. I can't wait until I get to be a part of it every day."
She squeezed my hand and smiled, her cheeks still pink and her eyes twinkling. "Thanks. But you know you're a part of it every day already."
I started to explain what I'd meant, but she tightened her grip. "I know what you meant. But even though you aren't here, you're still on my mind. You're still the first person I think about talking to when cool things happen, even if I can only do it through texts and phone calls."
Her words were like a dollop of whip cream and a cherry on the ice cream sundae that had become my life.
"It's the same for me, you know?"
She nodded. "I do. It's not going to be like this forever, Edward. We'll get it figured out. In the meantime, we get to plan lots of fun trips. I'm already excited about Sonoma."
"A month. We can do a month, right?"
"We can."
We finished up and drove back to her place. I still had a few things to pack. Bella sat at the foot of the bed and watched as I shoved things in my bag. We were both quiet as I set my things by the bedroom door. I turned around, and an overwhelming sense of sadness washed over me.
Bella was sitting, her knees drawn up to her chest with her arms wrapped around them and her cheek resting on top. Her eyes were shimmering with tears, and when one rolled down her cheek, I climbed onto the bed and pulled her into my arms. I laid us down, front to front, and wiped the hot tears from her face. My throat felt tight, and I had to squeeze my eyes closed to fight the pricking behind them.
"Talk to me, Love," I whispered against her temple.
Her voice was watery and rough. "I'm not ready for you to go."
"I don't want to either."
"It just sucks. It's like we finally just figured things out, and the distance is conspiring against us before we can even begin."
Her cheeks were pink, and her tears were hot, as more and more escaped.
One by one, I wiped them away, kissing her cheek each time. She had encouraged me earlier, and it was my turn now. I needed to be the strong one, to protect her heart. "We began a while ago, Bella. At least in my mind. And yeah the distance sucks, but we already know we can do it. We can make it through this one and the others that follow. I know we can, and we'll be stronger for it when we finally don't have to anymore."
Her lip was trembling, but she nodded. I knew she knew I was right. We would get through the gaps.
But that didn't stop me from wanting the heaviness that was smothering us to go away. I covered her mouth with mine, taking my time committing the taste and feel of her to memory. With her face between my hands, I shifted on top of her, my eyes never leaving hers as I kissed her some more. Bit by bit, we spent the last of our time together, naked and vulnerable, giving and taking what we needed to fortify our hearts against the distance I prayed wouldn't tear us apart.
By the time I left her house, things felt better, lighter, but I knew one thing for sure. I couldn't keep saying goodbye to her much longer, and neither could she.
