[Deidara's Point of View]
Oh what have I done? I cursed aloud as I charged towards her with a miraculous burst of adrenaline. I won't lose her this way! The intense heat of the initial explosion singed the hair on my arms, stinging my skin. I ignored the pain as I pulled her into my arms and we rolled to safety. The rest of the explosion shook the ground and a rush of hot air swept over us. Had I been a few seconds slower we both would have been goners.
The adrenaline was short-lived and my exhaustion returned. I lay on the soft grass with her in my arms. She was unconscious but was still in one piece. "Natsume? Are you alright?" I asked as I gently shook her. She groaned softly but didn't awaken. I kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry, so very sorry. I would never forgive myself if I'd killed you."
"Neither would I," a familiar voice growled softly. I looked up to see Itachi standing over us with an angry look on his face. "You really are an idiot."
I glared at him. "What are you doing here?" I looked around. Where was Sasuke? Then I noticed him off a ways with a vacant look in his eyes. Itachi must have used Tsukuyomi on his own brother. I wonder why.
"There's no time for explanations!" He said as he yanked me to my feet. "You have to make a choice. Are you loyal to Akatsuki or to Natsume-san?"
"Her of course!" I scowled as I pulled away.
"Then finish it," he said seriously. "Fake your death and run away with her to Shimizu." I blinked in surprise. Was he seriously suggesting I defect right now? I've been carefully planning it for weeks now, so naturally I doubted I could do it so easily now. And why was Itachi trying to help me? Why was Natsume here and not in Sora-ku? I groaned as I pressed a hand against my aching forehead. Forget it, I'm too tired to ask any more questions, let alone try to make any sense out of this. Itachi's temper seemed to lessen a little. "There will be no better time…and…she needs you now." He reluctantly admitted as he looked down at her as she lay supinely on the ground. He looked resigned but a little sad at the same time.
I frowned. "Why are you doing this?" It wasn't like him to be so helpful. In fact he usually went out of his way to stay away from everyone else.
He sighed as his gaze remained on Natsume. "I'm not doing it for you." The unspoken implication being that he was doing this for her. My frown deepened as my hands curled into fists. I don't like that and was about to tell him so when he looked me in the eye again. "Do it. End it with a bang."
I smirked at this and nodded. I'll leave my mark on the world and all will remember my name. I summoned a clone and sent it over to where Sasuke was. He will die by my ultimate art but first we had to get out of the blast radius. I gathered Natsume in my arms and took off running. I didn't look back to see what Itachi did but I no longer cared. Natsume is all that matters. She moaned softly as her head rested against my chest. Once we were a safe distance I signaled to the clone to activate the C0 jutsu and the brightness of the explosion rivaled that of the sun. I grinned from ear to ear with pride. That would have been a spectacular way to die. Then I looked down at Natsume and kissed her forehead. But it was much better to live for her sake. I hated to admit it but I probably would have been a goner if Itachi hadn't intervened. Sasuke was far stronger than I had originally thought. Those cursed Uchiha are too talented for their own good. Hopefully I took Itachi out at the same time. It would be so satisfying to take out both brats at the same time. Though it was a shame to kill Tobi off. He didn't turn out to be so bad after all.
Still I had to put such cares behind me. I have nothing to do with Akatsuki now and it felt so liberating. I turned east and set course for Shimizu. I stayed off the main road to avoid being seen but later took a slight detour at some farm and stole a few changes of clothes for me. Naturally I destroyed my old ones; all trace of me had to disappear if it were to fool Akatsuki. I then noticed that she was wearing Itachi's Akatsuki robe and I destroyed that too. Not to remove evidence but because I don't like her wearing something of his. That didn't sit well with me at all.
When I was thoroughly disguised, I risked going into town that night to find a hotel. I found the most inconspicuous one and when I paid I requested that dinner be delivered to our room. Once inside I gently lay her down on the bed and went to the bathroom to bathe. I scrubbed away the dirt, blood, and grime off my sore skin; wincing the entire time. But there was no helping that, it had to be done. I was in the middle of drying off my hair when I heard Natsume stir awake. I quickly wrapped the towel around my waist and hurried out of the room.
She sat up and rubbed her eyes sleepily. She looked even more adorable, sleep seems to soften her beautiful features. I approached her with a broad smile and she seemed confused at first. "Dei-Dei?"
I nodded as I sat down beside her. She frowned slightly. "Am I dreaming?"
"You tell me," I chuckled as I pulled her in for a kiss. She stiffened at first but soon she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me back. Those soft full lips tasted even better than I remembered. Oh how I've missed this; her touch, her taste, her smell. I'll never get enough of it. Then suddenly she shoved me off the bed and I hit the floor hard. "That's for almost killing me!" She growled at me as her golden eye narrowed murderously.
"I'm sorry about that, I really am," I assured her as I stood up and held my hands out defensively. "It was a mistake. I was in the middle of a battle if you recall."
She nodded as her temper started to fade. I stood before her with my arms folded across my chest. "What were you and Itachi doing there? Why were you two together?"
"We were going on a picnic," she said sarcastically. "C'mon Dei-Dei, what do you think happened?"
"I don't think anything," I said seriously. "That's why I'm asking."
She lowered her gaze as she rested her hands on her lap. She was quiet for a while and then spoke. "I want to go home. I miss my Dad and Chieko. Uchiha-san was escorting me there so that my would-be killer would still think I'm dead."
I observed how she rung the hem of her dress. She only did that when she was nervous. What was there to be nervous about? Naturally she missed her family and the idea of an escort made sense too…and yet I sensed that she was holding something back. "What's really bothering you?" I asked gently.
It hurt that she wouldn't look me in the eye. I lifted her chin to kiss her. "Please don't hide things from me. Don't you trust me?" I whispered against her lips.
She blushed slightly. "I do…it's just that-"
Just then there was a knock at the door. I groaned as I stepped back. "That will be dinner. Why don't you answer the door and I'll finish getting dressed." I returned to the bathroom. When I came out she was sitting at the table eating quietly. I sat across from her and lifted the cover from my plate. Warm steam billowed into my face with a mouth-watering aroma. This was gonna be so good! And just the thing after a long journey. I just about shoveled the food into my mouth, forgetting my manners for a moment. It's not like Akatsuki prides itself on its etiquette. Natsume didn't really notice, she seemed pretty preoccupied. "Are you going to tell me what's bothering you or not?" I grumbled.
"Not," she said simply. I knew better than to force it out of her, even though I really wanted to.
I sighed in resignation. "Fine, then will you tell me when you're ready?"
I expected her to tell me to mind my own business but instead she nodded with a small half-hearted smile. "I will," she said softly.
I felt a little better after that. At least she'll tell me eventually. That's progress…in a way. Still I can't imagine why she'd suddenly be so secretive and homesick all of a sudden. After all we've only been apart for a month. How much can change in a month? When it was time to turn in for the night I snuggled close. "I love you," I said with a kiss.
To my surprise her golden eye glistened with tears as she tenderly stroked my cheek. "I know," she whispered. "I love you too."
Now I was really worried. "Natsume please tell me what's wrong," I pleaded. "I want to help."
"There's nothing you can do," she said. Then she gave me a quick kiss and rolled over to sleep. "Goodnight Deidara." She said in a tone that closed the matter. And that was that.
[Natsume's Point of View]
I'm such a coward and I'm ashamed of myself. Even after traveling for an entire month, Deidara still has no idea what's going on. He thinks I have the flu or something. He's so naïve. I feel bad making him worry so much about me. I know there's no sense in delaying the inevitable but whenever I saw his worried face it reminded me of how young he really is. He's not ready to be a Dad, just like I'm not ready to be a Mom. Then things got worse when I started refusing his sexual advances. I just felt too guilty from keeping the secret. And besides how could I enjoy it when it's what got me into this mess in the first place? The first few times he figured I was too tired or sick or something. But after a while it was obvious that none of my excuses were genuine. This put an obvious strain on our relationship and he was hurt by my refusal. After another failed attempt he angrily punched his fist through the headboard. I cringed underneath him and waited for him to yell at me. But instead he looked devastated. "What have I done wrong Natsume? Hm? Just tell me and I'll fix it!"
Tears came to my eyes. He was so innocent and good at heart. Even in the heat of frustration and anger…he didn't blame me. He should have though since it was my fault. I tried to swallow the lump that had hardened in my throat. "It's not your fault Dei-Dei." I said in a shaky tone.
"But it has to be!" He insisted desperately. "There's no other explanation!" He climbed out of bed and pulled his shirt on. He sighed and looked at me over his shoulder. His beautiful blue eyes were filled with such pain that it made my heart ache. "You don't have to be with me if you don't want to. I can leave you in Shimizu and would never bother you again if that's what you wanted. Don't…force yourself to stay with me."
My heart jumped into my throat and I reached out towards him. "It's not like that!"
He didn't look too convinced and I honestly didn't blame him. He turned away to pull on his travel cloak and left the room. I cried into my pillow and cursed myself for being so stupid. It's not like it changed anything. I'm still pregnant and there's nothing I can do about it. The secret was burning on my lips and yet I contained the fire. But it was beginning to eat me up inside. I can't live like this anymore and Deidara deserves to know the truth even if he's not ready for it. Steeling my nerves; I wiped my tears away, got out of bed and ran outside. "Dei!" I cried out as I raised my hood. "Dei where are you?" I ran up and down the streets and searched desperately. I had to find him and explain why it wasn't his fault. Other than telling him the truth I wanted to let him know how important he is to me. He has to know how much I need him…especially now. But he was nowhere to be found and I had looked everywhere. I panicked as I wondered if he had just left town, never to return. He wouldn't! Would he? But I had to admit that if I were him I would. I've been such a moody selfish jerk and I don't blame him for not wanting to put up with that. I reluctantly gave up and returned to our room. I sat down on the bed and cried again as I felt sorry for myself. How could I screw things up so badly? Instinctively my hand rested against my stomach. I've done that a lot lately and I wonder why. I assessed my feelings. Was I angry at the baby? No…but I felt powerless. I'm usually so sure of myself and what I want…but for the first time I was at a loss. What should I do now? A baby is a responsibility I never planned on having. I didn't want to have kids…ever. To be pregnant felt like a nightmare that I couldn't wake up from.
Just then a strong pair of arms wrapped around my shoulders and hugged me from behind. I recognized his scent and his warmth anywhere and I smiled. "Dei-Dei," I whispered with relief. I turned around and hugged him tightly. "I'm so sorry," I sniffled into his shirt. "Please forgive me. I don't want you to leave. I really don't."
"Then please tell me what's been bothering you," he said softly. "I hate to see you suffer like this. You don't have to, you've got me."
I took a deep breath to summon my remaining courage. "I'm pregnant."
"You are?" He asked in surprise and I was afraid to look into his eyes. What shock there must be in those sexy sapphire eyes? But instead I was the one who was surprised. He whooped for joy as he stood up and spun me around in his arms. I held on tightly as my stomach lurched nauseously but he was laughing for joy. "Put me down!" I begged and he immediately did so.
"Why didn't you tell me earlier? This is the best news ever!" He grinned from ear to ear.
"You're…happy about this?" I asked like an idiot. I knew in theory that he probably would be but he was positively beaming.
"Are you kidding?" He laughed at my surprise. "It's all I've ever wanted."
"Which is what?" I asked softly.
"To have a family with you one day." He kissed me gently. "I love you Natsume. I always have." His kisses then grew longer. "From that first moment…I've loved you." He then kissed me so passionately that it sent a thrill throughout my entire body and left my toes tingling with pleasure. I pressed into him, longing to feel that closeness that I've been denying us this whole time. He pulled me down beside him and I relished his sweet kisses and tender touch. I sighed with pleasure as I melted in his arms; his passion soothed my troubled soul as we become one. I was overwhelmed with gratitude and appreciation. When did this boy become a man? How did this annoying brat become my ardent and sensitive lover? It had happened so gradually and the connection between us felt so natural that part of me wondered if this really had been meant to be. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.
"Thank you," I whispered as I kissed him. My cheeks glistened with new tears.
"No more tears," he said as he wiped them away. "There's no need to be sad anymore."
I cracked a side smile as I stroked his cheek in turn. The hour was very late now and we soon drifted off to sleep.
The next morning my heart felt lighter than it had in so long. And even better, we'll be in Shimizu tomorrow. I can't wait to see Dad, Chieko, and my new half-sibling. He or she had to be at least a year old now. Deidara insisted on packing for me and I refused. After all, I didn't want him to think that I needed him to do this for me. "But I want to do this for you," he insisted as he pulled out a chair for me. "Please, I want to help."
So I agreed to stay put for his sake and watched him pack. "So I was thinking," he continued on. "You know, about some names for the baby-"
"Now stop right there!" I said firmly. "I haven't even decided if I want to keep it yet."
He stopped and stared at me. "What do you mean? Of course we'll keep it!"
I shook my head stubbornly and again my hand rested against my stomach involuntarily. He frowned as he left the knapsacks on the floor. "That's not a decision you can make alone," he said seriously. "This baby is mine too."
I blushed and lowered my gaze. Again I was being selfish. Of course he has every right to have a say in this too. We were both silent for a moment and the tension in the room was suffocating. "Do you not want this baby?" He asked. His tone was sensitive but I also heard the secret longing in his voice. He already loved this baby, even to be thinking of names already. I envied that so much. Why didn't I feel the same way?
I sighed. "I don't know…" I confessed.
"Is it because you're worried that you'll be like your Mom?" I nodded mutely, embarrassed to be so childish. He knelt down before me and took my hands in his strong ones. His eyes shone with such love. "You're so incredibly amazing. You can do this; I believe in you."
"You really think so?" I asked with a faint blush.
He smiled as he leaned in to give me a sweet kiss. "I really do. I wouldn't settle for less than the best when it comes to the mother of my child." He then hugged me close. "So what do you say? Are we in this together?" I nodded as I hugged him back. "Good," he said satisfactorily. "Then let's head out."
