You don't love me.

Liara's words rang through Michael's head, carrying with them a mountain of guilt and regret, all the more so as he approached his destination.

Ignoring the glum expressions on the engineers at their stations, Michael barely had enough energy to go where he was heading without additional burdens, instead he moved past them and towards the ship's Drive Core where Adams had claimed his quarry to be.

Tali.

Tali had her back to him as she faced the softly humming Drive Core, head tilted to the side as her hands swept over the controls in front of her, a small coughing bout escaping her without slowing down her typing for even a moment. You don't love me. The truth of Liara's words struck him hard as he watched the back of the Quarian, feeling his heart quaver in a mixture of fear and anticipation.

Nervous, Michael came to a stop, hands moving down to tug his newly acquired uniform straight. Right, you can do this. You're Shepard, you're the saviour of the Citadel, you fight Reapers head on, you're a fucking grown man, you can talk to the woman you love. He grimaced, taking a deep breath. Right...easy...real easy, so I'll just go then. His feet didn't obey, making him growl at himself. Go.

He lurched forward, the first step the hardest, then his feet remembered what to do and his steps grew bolder even as he raked his suddenly empty brain of what to say. Maybe I should have had a plan...? He sighed, shaking his head. No, no plans, not with this.

Tali stiffened before he even reached her, the Quarian turning her head slightly, then her body as the glowing eyes under her visor momentarily widened at the sight of him. Then she turned her head away, hands moving forth to hold one another in front of her lap. "Co-Michael..." She hesitated, a low sigh escaping her as she kept looking to the side, away from him.

"Hi..." Michael managed, annoyed with how tame he sounded. Well...contact made, now engage and...I don't know, slowly advance into the difficult part...damn, I think I prefer war to love, at least it's simpler. Looking about himself, Michael desperately raked his brain for something to talk about.

Tali was quicker though, tone hesitant as she looked back to him. "So...Thessia...is it...is it always like that?" Huh? Michael blinked, confused, making the Quarian wring her hands as she hurriedly added. "I mean, so bloody...so...brutal?"

Ah. Michael shrugged, tired at the mere memory of all the slaughter, of all the death. He owed her an answer though. "Pretty much, wherever the Reapers go in strength, there's a slaughter or something close to it. Earth's like Thessia by now, Palaven is more of a losing battle than a massacre...entire systems have been emptied of life." He frowned. "And...shouldn't you know this? Didn't you read the reports?"

"I did." Tali snapped somewhat defensively, only for her to look away again, a cough escaping her as her shoulders slumped. "It's just so hard to...take in, I guess."

Michael grimaced, he'd heard that all over on the Citadel...of those living there unable to comprehend the horrors the refugees had endured, and despite them having been with him for so long, Michael was not surprised at the level of devastation taking his old comrades by surprise as well...one had to endure it to fully understand. Yet that set him aside from them, he had seen it happen before the Reapers had even arrived, seen worse happen to the Protheans via their beacon...and as such he would never share the feeling of horror the others felt. "It isn't surprising, no one was mentally prepared for what came."

"Except you." Tali quietly noted, a hint of sadness in her voice as Michael flinched. Mentally? I...don't know about that. "How's Liara taking it?" Guilt. It bore into Michael like a dagger, and though he struggled not to reveal it in his face, he knew Tali would see it in his posture. To his surprise though, the woman nearly put a hand on his shoulder before she pulled it back as she hesitated. "You couldn't have saved Thessia you know...it's not your fault."

Oh, she thinks my guilt is over that part... Michael hesitated. He took every loss personally, but the loss of Thessia had been unavoidable at that point, his guilt was over losing Javik and Samara, over Leng getting away with the data, of what he had nearly done with Liara... Maybe I should...tell Tali about it? The thought chilled Michael's bones, Tali was not the type to take kindly to other women, and given how she'd joked about her being nervous about him and Liara back when he'd been together with the Quarian...the outcome wasn't good. Later, when...later. "I know, I'm just...frustrated, I guess." Taking a deep breath, Michael looked up at the Drive Core, unable to look Tali in the eyes. "As for Liara...she's not in a good state but I think...I think she'll be okay."

To his surprise, he did think that. Liara was strong even before he'd met her, and all that had happened had perhaps ruined her innocence and chipped away part of the kindness of her character...but it had also hardened her enough to endure the trials she was now being put through, to survive. In fact, she would not only get past what had happened, if he knew her right she would be one of those leading the rebuilding of the Galaxy...if she survived. Tali's voice cut through Michael's thoughts on the matter, something he was grateful for as his mind focused back to her voice rather than that icy grip of fear in his heart. "Oh, that's good...I know she and I aren't exactly the best of friends, but I'd never want her to be hurting in any way...she deserves better than that."

"Yeah..." Dangerous territory. Michael looked about himself, his brain finally functioning properly. "...and hey, where's EDI? I thought you were fixing her?"

For the briefest of moments, Tali looked at him with a cocked head, a hint of worry and curiosity in her posture, then she shrugged, a hint of pride in her voice even as she coughed. "Please, I've told you before, I'm a Quarian, I finished fixing her mobile platform an hour ago, as good as new."

Michael couldn't help the grin stealing its way to his lips. "I should have known." Then he looked up, smiling. "I hope the arm's adequate, EDI?" His smile turned into a smirk. "She didn't change the plating for some cheap knock-off so she could steal the original, could she?"

"Oh great, a joke about thieving Quarians, stay classy, Michael." Tali grumbled, leaning back on the console as she crossed her arms over her chest, looking grumpy, though her voice betrayed her amusement, however hesitant it was.

Great, a connection, now keep it up, a joke about humans, maybe? Hopeful, Michael opened his mouth to reply, only for EDI to cut in, apparently taking his question seriously. "The limb is working as it should, Shepard. I'll gladly show it when this platform is less busy."

"Oh, good." Michael huffed, annoyed with the interruption...and then blinking in confusion as the meaning of the words caught his notice. "Wait, what do you mean, 'less busy'? What could possibly keep it busy on the ship?"

"It's currently busy having intercourse with Jeff, Shepard."

Michael blanched at the frank reply. "I...wh...excuse me?"

In front of him, Tali's head dipped low, her visor darkening with her blush as a hand shot up to rub the fringe of her hood and clear her throat. "Keelah..."

"Well..." Michael swallowed, shifting awkwardly where he stood. Too much information, my poor brain. "...okay then..." Actually, I can't even...is she just making fun of me!? "...wait, how are you even capable of-"

Instantly, Tali's hands shot up, pressing lightly but insistently against his chest as she looked up at him, glowing eyes wide in contrast against her dark visor. "That's not...we don't need to know that, do we? I mean...isn't it enough already?"

Amused by Tali's clear nervousness Michael found a grin steal its way to his face in preparation for the teasing answer...only for it to instantly soften into a smile as he looked down, realising the Quarian was touching him. She too noticed that fact, hands awkwardly tightening their grip as she looked away, unsure what to do. Gently, Michael took the top of her hands and pulled them off, letting her escape the awkward choice of keeping them there or letting go. "Yeah, okay."

"Okay...good..." Tali muttered, visor remaining dark as she put her hands together, the digits fiddling with one another, her shoulders shaking with a sharp cough as she looked away. "So...any leads on Kai Leng yet?"

Michael grimaced, irritated with how the Quarian had ruined the moment. Dammit, fine, you want space, to talk about something neutral. He took a step back...and Tali shot him a glance, a hint of regret in her stance, making Michael struggle not to feel hope. "Not yet, but everyone is working on it." He narrowed his eyes, gaze drifting past the Quarian, imagining the smug assassin's face as his anger rose. "I will find him though, and when I do..." His hands closed into fists.

"I know." Tali replied, making him focus back on her in time to see her carefully edge forward, staring at his chest. "It's...who you are. Saren couldn't escape you, the Collectors couldn't...what chance does a Cerberus agent stand?"

Michael hesitated, then he too took a step closer, chest tightening as he nervously whispered. "You...still believe that...that I'm...still me?"

"I..." Tali hesitated, making Michael's blood run cold...and then she looked up at him. "When you saved me in that temple...it was like in Fist's office four years ago, like nothing had changed, you were...you." She shook her head, looking away even as Michael struggled not to reach out for her, to not get his hopes up...and failing at the later. "And with what I've now seen...I...I understand why you did what you did on Rannoch, I can even...I can..." She looked up at him, and he saw how it hurt her to speak the words. "...I can even approve of it now...however much it pains me to admit it. Without the Geth...maybe the Quarians would die anyway, like all other life...so you doing what you did...I...it was the right call."

It doesn't matter. Michael's heart ached for her now, he wanted to reach out, to hold the Quarian clearly in pain over the words she'd just spoken...yet he held back, watching her breath hitch as she struggled to continue.

Then, to his horror, she looked away, shoulders slumping. "But..." No, no, no! Michael's face fell as the Quarian continued. "...I can't just...I...I care so much, yet..." She looked up at him, and Michael struggled to hold her gaze. "...you put a gun in my face, you were ready to pull the trigger." Michael grimaced, arms trembling as he struggled not to launch himself at her, to simply hold her until all the bad went away. Instead he watched her shake her head even as she looked away. "I can't just let that go, not...I don't know..."

Michael swallowed, a thick lump in his throat as he struggled to speak. "You...you don't know if you can forgive me?"

"I...with the Reapers...and your hatred of them..." Tali sighed, still refusing to look back at him. "...I don't know if there's room for me there...or if I want it."

It hurt...yet Michael stood there, frozen to the floor. "You don't...think we could ever get back together again?"

"I..." Tali looked up, her posture tense, wanting, yet holding back. "...I honestly don't know."

Michael felt himself shiver. "That...terrifies me."

The Quarian looked back down to his chest, her eyes large, her shoulders shaking, her voice small.

"Me to..."

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The corridor was carved through brown rock.

People in glass tubes lined its sides, screaming as they were dissolved, screaming for mercy, for help.

He ignored them.

Bounding forward, he was a blur, slashing and punching his way forward.

Cerberus soldiers were screaming orders, shooting, retreating.

Dying.

Roaring his defiance, his hatred, Michael hurled himself at them. He carved through their armour, their flesh, spraying their blood over the tubes, over the walls, turning the corridor into a murky painting of death and suffering.

Ahead, the corridor ended with a large wooden door, a pair of Marauders guarding it from atop a mound of Asari corpses.

Throwing aside the last Cerberus corpse, Michael launched himself at them.

They fired at him, their bullets tearing into his flesh, ripping great holes in his body as he heedlessly bounded forward.

Then he launched himself forward, over the mound of corpses, into the Marauders, ripping their throats out even as they crashed through the door, shattering it, the pieces catching fire and sticking to his body, searing his flesh.

The pain was nothing, his hunting eyes looking ahead.

He was in a dark room, the floor perfectly polished and reflecting the light cast from the twin stars, one blue and one yellow, struggling against one another in the distance.

His eyes were fixed on the person in the middle of the room though.

The Illusive Man was sitting in his chair, one leg over the other as he calmly smoked his cigar.

His voice was calm, yet distant, as if speaking from a far greater distance. "Shepard."

A snarl, and Michael launched himself forward.

With a crash, he knocked the Illusive Man's chair over as the man himself was felled onto his back, Michael atop him as the man tried to protest.

Michael silenced him by closing his fists around the man's throat, making the costumed man buck in pain..and then go limp as Michael's thumbs, now dark claws, dug into his windpipe.

Roaring into the dead eyes of the man, Michael's claws dug in further, dark blood and flesh filling his hands before he with a snarl ripped outwards, sending pieces of gore flying as he spread his arms wide in victory.

"Good work." Turning, Michael found Garrus approach, the armoured Turian's rifle lowered as he grinned. "A bit brutal, but it got the-"

Then the right side of the Turian's face was ripped off, making him drop onto his knees with a gasp of surprise...as Michael bounded past him and towards the doorway before he even knew he'd been moving, claws now stained with blue blood.

He came through the doorway, senses barely recognising Thessia as he caught sight of Liara, the Asari looking at him with a sad look on her face as her hands hung limply at her sides.

Then she was on her back, Michael atop her, howling at the sky as he held up her heart, crushing it in a clawed fist.

"M-Michael...?" Turning, he found Tali staring him, large green eyes wide in horror as her visor fell from limp hands.

No hesitation.

No horror.

He felt nothing as he leapt at her.

Her breath brushed his face, a small gasp escaping her as Michael's fist, firmly embedded in her chest, found her rapidly beating heart.

He ripped it out...and the Quarian stared at him in horror...and then crumpled to the ground.

Wait..

Michael blinked, looking down at her, at his own ruined flesh of grey and blue...and took a step backwards.

"And now, Shepard..." He looked up...and the glowing eyes of Harbinger stared down at him as the Reaper descended. "...you are mine."

"No!"

He sat up straight, the shout echoing through the room as with large eyes he stared around himself. My room...isn't it? Moving a hand up, Michael ran it through his sweaty hair,more uneasy with the his dreams than usual. They're getting darker every night. He grimaced. No, that doesn't mean anything. He nodded to himself, breathing a sigh of relief. Right. "EDI? Is someone at the door?"

"Yes, Shepard, I was about to call you, how did you know?"

Michael grunted as he got up, casually throwing the robe he'd left on the floor on and tying it together. A tired sigh escaped him. "Just an educated guess, someone always wants to talk to me."

"I could send her away, if you wish."

Her? Suddenly wide awake, Michael felt a glimmer of hope as he turned to the door. "No, go ahead, send her in now." The door opened...and Michael's heart sank. "Oh...hello, Traynor."

"Sir?" Samantha arched an eyebrow at the muted greeting as she stepped in, hands behind her back. "Is this a bad time?"

Of course it wasn't Tali, you fool, it's too soon to think she's made up her mind. "Of course not, Samantha, what can I do for you?"

The woman bounced a little where she stood, a grin appearing on her lips. "Sir, we've got something."

Michael stared at her, eyes widening.

Then he was moving for his closet, eagerness powering his limbs "War Room, now, I'll be there in one minute."

Traynor's grin widened, a hand shooting up in a salute. "Yes, Sir!"

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Thanks to Abydos Jackson for being the the most awesome person I've ever met, and a merry Christmas to all of our readers and reviewers.