Chapter 48

Mac gave Kenneth's hands a squeeze and nodded for him to go on. With a slight smile he did, "During the next two years she was sick on and off, but we had no idea what it was. Her doctor ran the usual tests, but couldn't find anything. Then she started having stomach pains, after more tests and lots of X-rays, they decided that they needed to exploratory surgery. They took one look and closed her up. There was no hope. The cancer was invasive. Her doctor gave her a few weeks to a couple of months and then he apologized to me that the trauma of the surgery had caused her to miscarry."

At Mac's gasp Kenneth stopped and saw the same thoughts in her eyes that had been in his all those years ago. "Yes," he told her, "Either the sterility had reversed itself or the child wasn't mine. I had to know, so I had my doctor run a test. When the results came back, I had not one problem, but two to deal with. In the end, because the prognosis for her was so short, I made some hard choices. I insisted that her doctor not tell her about the pregnancy, with the fact that she had so little time left, it didn't seem necessary for her to have to deal with that too. Because of that choice I also didn't have to confront her with her infidelity. What would the point have been then? We needed to be strong for the children and I wouldn't have left her to die alone like that in any case. Part of the blame had to be mine too. I was away so much that she turned to someone else. In the end, none of it mattered really, I still loved Donna, no matter what she had done, and I grieved when she died."

Once again he paused to gather his thoughts before going on, he still needed explain how what he had just told her tied in to her question about why he had been acting so jealous lately. "Sarah, I guess I didn't realize until you pointed it out that what had happened with Donna is still affecting me in a way. It's not that I don't trust you, I guess I just haven't really dealt with all the pent up feelings of betrayal that I had when I found out about what she had done. I hope that you can forgive me and I promise to try and put these feelings behind me."

"Kenneth, I want to be here for you and help you in any way I can. If you ever need to talk, please know that I will always be willing to listen!" Mac gently told him.

"That is what is so special about you! I tell you how badly I behaved and all you want to do is help me to feel better!" he sighed as he wondered how he had gotten so lucky to have such a special woman fall in love with him.

"You didn't behave badly! What you did was understandable and in light of what Donna was going through even admirable. You hid your own feelings to help her through her last days and make them special. I admire you for that! She was a lucky woman to have someone like you!"

"Oh Sarah!" he hugged her close, "Thank you! Your acceptance means more to me than you know."

"It's not acceptance silly, it's love!" she told him hugging him back.

Their lips met in a tender kiss just as there was a knock on the door.

"I'm sorry Mr. President, but your meeting with the foreign minister is due to start in five minutes," his press secretary said after being admitted to the room.

"Thank you, I'll be right there," Kenneth told her and after giving Mac a brief kiss on the cheek and promising to see her for dinner he hurried out of the room.

Mac knew that she was going to have to find the time soon to tell him about the endometrioses and the fact that it was very unlikely that she could ever have given him any more children anyway. She just hoped that they could be happy raising the three that he had already. But now she needed to give herself a pep talk about what was to come. She headed down the hall to meet her fate. Her first meeting with her secretary and personal assistant was on the horizon.

To be continued…..