AN: Yes, I'm aware that Shannon became Sheldon. Yes I could put that into my story, I chose not to.


Charlie crossed her legs as she looked at her therapist. "Look, I'm not a drug addict. I've never overdosed. I did drugs. I may have been a bit dependent on them, but that doesn't make me an addict. I've always been able to stop whenever I wanted without a stint in rehab. I don't go through the terrible withdrawal symptoms either. I know how much to take that gives me that buzz. Most of the stories are exaggerated." This was a waste of her time.

"Are you using any recreational drugs now?" Roz asks her.

"No." Charlie answers honestly.

Roz arches an eyebrow at Charlie. "And you don't think you have a problem?"

"I know, I feel comfortable with drugs. It offers me an escape when things get too much for me. I mean I bought some MDMA a few weeks ago. I didn't use it, but it was comforting to have it with me. To have that choice that I could escape from reality. But I didn't use it. I handed it over to my friend and he got rid of it. I didn't feel like taking the pill, I just wanted to feel safe." Charlie explains with a shrug.

"So you buy drugs when you feel like things are getting too much? Can you tell me what in your life was getting too much for you? In this particular case that is."

Charlie sighed and leaned back. She tried to remember why she was going through with this. She had enough people probing her brain when she was younger. Trying to figure out what was wrong with her. She loathed doctors and she hated hospitals and she hated people trying to figure out what was wrong with her. But Santana was in another building about to go into her therapy session and she wanted to show Santana that it was okay. That therapy wasn't as bad as she thought it was. "My father was being an asshole, and he threatened to take my soulmates away from me. Because he thought that I was cheating. It was all a huge misunderstanding and I told him that but he wasn't listening. I needed to decompress. I didn't want to go home angry. One of my submissives has an issue with dominants and the other one doesn't like to be yelled at. It made sense at the time to decompress. They didn't do anything that deserved my anger. I was angry at him I needed some space to calm down."

"Thinking back, is your father one of your major stressors? Or was it more because you wanted to get his attention? The better question is, how is your relationship with your father?"

Charlie snorted and rolled her eyes. "My father's a prick, but a prick that does love his family. Does he stress me out? Yes. But that's only because we argue all the time. He wanted me to go to Julliard and play music, I barely graduated high school and because of the accident. Julliard wasn't on the table anymore. That didn't stop him from pushing and it lead to the breakdown of our relationship. So I'm still the pain in his ass, the problem child if you will. He's still a prick. I love him he's my dad that doesn't mean that I want to spend time around him. I'm not doing drugs because I have daddy-issues."

"Well your job must be stressful—"

"I love making music, I love going on tour and having millions of people screaming my name, singing the songs I wrote. I didn't do drugs because I was stressed at work. I basically goof off most of the time and get paid to do it. So no it's not work. I did drugs because why not? I wanted to have a good time and it was provided to me. Same with sleeping with people. I never once held a gun to anyone's head and demanded that they sleep with me. Same with the drugs. Did I seduce my fair share of women? Yes. But just as many women came up to me and wanted to sleep with a celebrity."

"So the question is why? If it wasn't because of family and stress, why did you do it?" Roz stresses looking at Charlie, there has to be something. She does look much healthier now. Assuming that the photos weren't photo-shopped in any way. Charlie shrugs and Roz sighs inwardly. "Your new album is coming out and you seem to have gotten your life back together. Are you afraid that something in your life is going to cause you to go back to drugs? Can you think of anything that would make you slip."

Charlie is quiet for a moment and thinks about the question being asked. "I might slip back into the habit if Santana and Brittany were to leave me. I mean I might. The threat of losing them—I was miserable without them in my life. I was lonely and miserable and my friends had their soulmates and I didn't. There was nobody to come home to. So yes I had friends that weren't really my friends but they pretended and that was enough."

"Aren't you going on tour?" Roz asks watching as Charlie nods. "Are your soulmates coming with you on tour?" Charlie shakes her head. "Do you think that feeling of loneliness will be a trigger? It's difficult being out on the road by yourself."

"I'm not going to be lonely, I'm going to call them and text them all the time and they're going to visit me on tour," Charlie points out.

"They have jobs?" Roz asks and Charlie nods. "They aren't going to be on the same schedule as you are. When you're in Australia or Japan, you won't be able to talk to them like you want. You have two soulmates, and they will probably be intimate without you—I don't think you're looking at this completely."

"Brittany and Santana are allowed to be intimate without me. I don't care, do you know how many times I've walked in on them? A lot. As for time difference in certain places, I know that I'm not going to be able to talk to them as much as I want to. I'm aware of that, but—I'm still going home to them. It's a trip, I've been away from them for short periods of time there's a date when I will come back and be with them. It wasn't—like a day to day thing. Besides they are flying out to see me. I'm not saying it's going to be easy but it's not like the situation before. I didn't know if I was ever going to have anyone and the situation seemed hopeless. I know I'm going to see them again. I'm in a healthier place."

"Have you thought about the strain that the distance is going to place on the relationship?" Roz points out.

"They have each other, this isn't like I'm leaving one soulmate behind for a huge period of time. Santana and Brittany have been by themselves for the past five years. It's just been the two of them. I trust them and they trust me. We're learning how to communicate better."

"You can't place your sobriety on the two of them. What happens if you three get into a fight? What happens if God-forbid something happens to them? What if they do decide to leave you? It's good that you found something to help you get yourself off your drugs, but they can't be the only reason that you're not doing drugs," Roz explained and Charlie made a face at this. "I need you to do a bit of soul searching."

Charlie makes a face but she nods, Roz is right and things have been going well now but what if they blew up in her face. She'd need to be sober. She needed to keep herself healthy. "I can do that."

Roz looks at the clock on the wall and closes her notebook, "That's all the time we have for today. When do you leave for your tour?"

"I leave the day after my album drops, so next Wednesday." Charlie informs her.

Roz nodded, "We'll try some web therapy or you can call in if you need my help with anything. You just can't quit. This isn't a one-time thing Charlie."

Charlie nods and runs a hand through her hair, "I know, we'll figure something out. My people will get in touch with you. Either Noah Puckerman or Blaine Anderson will be in contact with your office," Charlie informed her.


Santana frowned as she heard her name being called and she looked over at Brittany who kissed her cheek. "San, you know I'm not going anywhere. Charlie's giving you space to so you can work it out without her pestering you about it. Just be honest. If you don't like her we can find someone else."

Santana nodded and kissed Brittany before getting up, she let out a shaky breath and walking into the therapist's office. She gave a weak smile at Shannon Beiste who stood up and extended her hand. "Santana Lopez."

"Shannon Beiste, take a seat," Shannon said with a smile.

Santana can't help but look at the black line on Shannon's left wrist that was proudly on display. She had left her dominant. She had left her soulmate, and had taken drastic actions to erase whoever's name was on her wrist. "You're unclaimed," she blurts out.

"I am," Shannon says with an easy shrug. "So were you a few months ago. If the tabloids and the news is to be believed. But I'd prefer to hear that from you."

Santana is quiet for a moment and sighs, "What do you want to know exactly? They tested me three times and I was a submissive as was my soulmate. Since I was eighteen I've been a submissive, before my dad died. I had his protection and I could go to school and he paid for everything. But he died and I was suddenly unclaimed. Then I met Charlie who is our new dominant and now I'm claimed."

Shannon leaned back, the submissives that came to see her had generally been abused. Some of them had horrific injuries, other times it was verbal abuse, sometimes it was sexual abuse. "Tell me about Charlie?" Shannon prompted and she watched as Santana smiled at this.

"When I met her for the first time she face-planted. Then she got really nervous and clammed up. She was so nervous to meet us, I was nervous to. I mean all I really knew about her was that she did drugs and enjoyed getting into fights with the paparazzi. Plus she had been arrested a few times. I—wasn't thrilled about meeting her. But my soulmate sort of convinced me to meet her and she wasn't like—what I expected. She's a dork, and a genius and kind and patient. Sure she can be a bit of an ass at times but she—she doesn't punish me or attempt to control me. She's letting me take my time. I know that she's ready to begin figuring things out with the whole dominant submissive thing, and I know that Brittany's curious to see what it'll be like. But she won't until I'm ready and I want to be ready."

Shannon smiled at this. It was the tone that suggested that Santana didn't feel threatened by her dominant. "The start of every good dominant submissive relationship is trust, do you trust her?"

Santana pauses for a moment, "I trust Charlie. I know she's not going to hurt me. I mean she lets me and Brittany get away with teasing her nonstop. She lets me say no even if it hurts her feelings. She gets disappointed but she—listens when I say no. I know she's not like him, I know that she's trying. She tries really hard to not even yell at us when she gets upset with us. I just can't stop being afraid, and I make up all these excuses to avoid meeting her halfway. I want to stop being afraid that's why I'm here."

"Who is this him that you referred to?" Shannon prods gently and she watches as Santana stiffens at this and she realizes that she's found the person still caused her pain.

"You know what it's like. Unclaimed submissives are catnip for dominants. Hell Brittany got dragged into Charlie's dressing room so Charlie could have her way. Charlie was horrified but stuff like that happens all the time. You know how difficult it is to get a job or do anything really, without a dominant involved?"

"I do, I didn't know how much protection having a dominant afforded me until I left mine. Difficult doesn't even begin to describe it." Her situation was different of course.

Santana nods, Shannon understands and she shivers. "My last boss—it's complicated. I didn't have any protection, there was no one who would go to bat for me. No dominant who would get herself arrested to protect me and I know my place—well I learned it after working for him. A good submissive doesn't say no." She lets out a bitter laugh and looks at Shannon and shivers.

Shannon frowns and swallows, it still makes her feel physically ill when she hears some of the stories from the men and women who come to her for help. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't wish to," Shannon says soothingly. "Does Charlie know why you're having some difficulty?"

"She saw him do it and she probably would have killed him if Puck hadn't dragged her off him and held her down," Santana says. "Ever since then she's made sure that I know that she's not like him. She makes sure that she never pushes me. I told her some of it and I was afraid that she was going to be disgusted with me—that she'd tell me to leave but she didn't. I tried to force myself to be ready to get ready because I was worried that she might like Brittany more—I didn't want her to throw me away. I mean I get angry and I yell at her and I know that any other dominant would have forcibly put me back in my place. But she doesn't, she lets me yell at her. I know that I'm a bitch—that I make things more difficult than I should, so I was worried that when she found out that she'd finally have an excuse to get rid of me. She didn't though."

Shannon nodded, Santana would talk about him when she was ready. "And Charlie's relationship with Brittany?"

"So far Charlie only exerts her will in the bedroom and mostly on Brittany but she gets me involved with it. So I'm not left out. She's only recently—started to slowly start exerting some control over me. Little things, nothing to push the envelope really. I think she's testing the waters and it's okay because we have safe words and all I need to do is say no once." Santana says with a shrug.

There is something in Santana's voice that Shannon wants to figure out, "You're protective over Brittany aren't you?"

Santana makes a face, "We've been bonded since we were fourteen. I thought I was going to be the dominant. Everyone thought I was going to be the dominant. But I'm a submissive, I got tested three times but nothing changed. I'm still a submissive."

"So watching Charlie dominate Brittany makes you feel what exactly?"

Santana flushes and squirms, "It's sexy, and sometimes she does this thing where she just watches me while she's dominating Brittany."

That wasn't what she was looking for in Santana. "If Charlie punished her, let's say that she gave her a simple spanking would you be okay with that or would you—" The smile is off Santana's face in an instant and Shannon can see it the protectiveness that runs deep with her. "You wouldn't like it, even if Brittany was okay with it?"

"She can find a different way to punish Brittany," Santana says coolly, there is no way in hell that Charlie is raising a hand against Brittany.

"Are you okay with her spanking you, just with her hand?" Shannon asks and she's met with a shrug. "If she does and she shows you how hard she's going to spank Brittany and it's not that hard at all, would that be okay."

"She's not hitting Britt," Santana said firmly. "I don't care how much she hits me—"

"I said spank Santana, there is a difference, she wouldn't be doing it to hurt you, but it's a perfectly normally way to express displeasure and quite common. I'm sure that if you ask her to demonstrate it for you she will gladly do it in a safe environment. I know the difference between being hit and being spanked. From what you've told me is that you've got a dominant who is willing to work with you. So when you're ready you need to start figuring out what works for you and what doesn't. You need to work with both of them and communicate what is and isn't okay for you. You can't control what is and isn't okay for Brittany." Santana scowled at this and crosses her arms, she opens her mouth to argue but she remembers what Brittany said during their couple's session and she sighs in an annoyed fashion. "Is there something you need to get off your chest?"

"She told me and Charlie that she could handle herself and I needed to be more—hands off. I'm not going to like it." Santana grumbles.

"Do you think Charlie is going to hurt her, like actually hurt her Santana? That she won't treat her with care?" Shannon asks.

"I don't want to see her upset," Santana says in an exasperated tone.

Shannon smiles at this, "Like I said you need to keep the lines of communication open with them. It helps when you trust her completely. You know that Charlie isn't going to hurt you not like you were hurt before. You need to do trust exercises with her. There are workshops that can help—"

Santana snorted, "It was already suggested to us that Charlie submit for a while. She isn't going to go to a workshop. Paparazzi still follow her around waiting for her to screw up. She's stuck and it'll hurt her image if it looks like she needs help to dominate us, I don't want to be tabloid fodder."

"They do have private sessions with people who understand the meaning of being discrete. They sign confidentiality agreements and everything. I have a list of people if you do wish to talk to her about it and are willing to try," Shannon says calmly.

Santana sighs and nods, she has no intention of bringing it up with Charlie though. They are already seeing enough people to talk about their problems with, and they don't have a problem with intimacy. "I'll think about it."

Shannon nods and stands up, "Unfortunately it's time for my next appointment. You need to talk with them about your fears Santana. You also can't force these things, they'll take time Santana. It seems that your soulmates are patient and are willing to work with you. Will I be seeing you next week?"

Santana nodded and gets up and shakes Shannon's hand and takes the list from her and heads into the waiting room where Brittany is waiting. She smiles at Brittany and immediately Brittany is up and wraps her arms around her. "I'm okay Britt. I am. I'll be fine," Santana says hugging Brittany back tightly.

Brittany smiles and kisses her cheek, "How was it? We can talk about it if you want or we can go home and eat—"

Santana kisses her gently interrupting her. "Or, we can go to the studio and go pick up Charlie and then go home and cuddle? I feel like getting my cuddle on with my two favorite blondes."


AN: Stuff happens next chapter. Please Review.