Chapter 44 I'm Not Ready To Make Nice
Nathan woke up to Bri screaming and Jamie yelling. He felt next to him and his wife was not there. He knew that was what had wakened him up the minute he found the sheets empty. He heard Jamie telling Haley that she needed to hurry. He got up and went in search of his wife and boys. Something in the way Jamie's voice sounded drew concern.
Haley was trying to make her way to the nursery, telling Jamie she was coming, when she stepped on one of his toys. The truck had somehow managed to stick into the arch of her foot. When he stepped out of the door of their bedroom, he saw Haley leaning up against the wall so she could balance herself on one foot. "Hales, what happened?"
"Our son didn't pick up his toys last night like I asked him to"
"Jamie, I hope now you see why that's important son, Mommy's foot is bleeding." Nathan bent to look at it.
"Mom I said I'm sorry. I forgot it."
"Nathan would you get Bri for me?"
Nathan moved to go get his youngest son when the wave of nausea hit him. He looked at Haley and sprinted for the bathroom. He would be so glad when this passed. He now knew how Haley had felt the last two times she was pregnant. After several minutes he came out of the bathroom and found that his wife had made it to the nursery and removed Bri from the crib. He could see little traces of blood from her foot on the floor.
"Sorry Hales."
"Hey it's ok. I've been there" she smiled.
"I know you have baby. I am glad that you don't have it this time." As he moved in front of her he placed his hand on her baby bulge. It was hard to believe that it had been twelve weeks since Jamie's kidnapping. Haley had not begun to show with either of the boys by the eighteenth week but with the girls? It was a totally different story. He could tell it in her twelfth week. She was wearing maternity clothes by the fifteenth week. The twins were growing well.
"Nathan, have you spoken to Lucas?"
"No why?"
"I was just wondering."
"You had a reason for asking me that Haley Scott, I know you."
"Well it's just I was with Peyton the other day after I dropped Jamie off at school. Dan has tried to contact him. I wondered how he was feeling about that."
"Haley, I'm sure that Luke feels about it just like I do."
"I know but Nathan I wish that it hadn't turned out this way. I mean, I know Dan did some horrible things but it is such a shame that he's missing out with you and Lucas and our children."
"Hales, please don't worry about this. You know it's not good for you or the babies. There is no way that I am going to let Dan Scott one inch closer to being in our lives. If I give him an inch he will take a mile. We both know that don't we?"
"Yes. I just feel you hurting Nathan and I can't do anything about it."
Nathan looked at his wife. She was so caring. Only Haley could forgive someone like Dan and the sad part of it was she would if Nathan and Lucas would let her. She had a heart of gold. She hated to see anyone hurting. Last week Lucas and Peyton had a huge fight and Peyton was a mess. Even though the fight was all on Peyton, Haley couldn't stand to see her upset. They had sat on Nathan and Haley's back patio and both had cried.
Lucas was spending a lot of time trying to finish his novel. Nathan had set up a debit from their account to Lucas and Peyton's. He didn't want Lucas to work and write the novel too. He wanted his brother to have a fair chance and be great. Peyton's record label was not doing bad. Haley had written two songs and Mia had recorded both. One was the song that Nathan had heard at Tric the night that she was pregnant. Haley told Nathan later that night, that she had written that song one night in a lonely motel room while she was on tour. She had placed all of her feeling and emotions in that song. All of it was written about him. When he heard the recording he really listened to the words intensely. He now understood that hurting him had also broken Haley's heart.
"Haley, baby you don't have to do anything about me hurting. I am not as hurt as you think I am. Yeah I mean I hate it that my father turned into what he has but he did. There's nothing we can do about that. As long as I have you and our kids, I will be great."
Flashback
"What's all this stuff for anyway?"
"Babysitting. I thought that the extra experience and money couldn't hurt. Besides, I just don't want to be one of those moms that are overwhelmed and unprepared and always screaming at her kids like my mom used to be. Ah it was crazy. Anyway the kids are coming by after school and ah you know what you should stop by and say hi"
"No thanks. I'll pass. I don't really like kids." As Nathan moved to the door he realized what he had said. "Ah I'll like our kid."
"Yeah get out of here you bum" she giggled as she threw a Barbie doll at him.
"Hey are you ok?" Nathan asked.
"Yeah I was just thinking about the day that you told me you didn't really like kids. Things sure have changed with you Hot Shot"
"Yeah well they kind of grow on you."
"Nathan, I have been so worried about you."
"Why Hales, I'm fine."
"You're driving yourself crazy over your dad, and me carrying twins. I can see it."
"Haley, c'mon baby. I am tickled to death that we're having the babies. Well that you're pregnant with the babies. I told you the night that we got married I wanted a little girl just like you. I just didn't realize someone was going to take me doubly serious at the time."
Haley laughed. "Nathan I still can see it in your eyes though"
"That's just because it's the unknown baby. Well mostly because of the unknown. I mean with Jamie there was your accident. With Bri, Damien kidnapped you from the game. Now Jamie was kidnapped and you nearly miscarried. Our track record with pregnancies isn't that great baby. Of course I worry a little."
"C'mon Nathan haven't you ever hear third time's a charm?" Haley smiled.
"Yeah. I've also heard what happens twice happens three times Haley."
"Please stop worrying over this. Everything is going to be ok this time baby."
Nathan leaned down to kiss her forehead and pull her to him as much as he could with Bri in between them. "I love you Haley."
"I love you too, Nathan."
"Do you know that my biggest fear is being without you?"
"Nathan…"
"No hold on a second baby, let me get this out. When you were on the tour, I nearly lost my mind Haley. While you were in a coma I was so scared that I would lose you. Our life together flashed threw my mind. All I kept thinking was there wasn't enough time. We didn't have enough time. I thought about the first time I kissed you outside of your parents house. I thought about our wedding day, and our wedding night. I thought about the day you came home with me from the tour. I thought about the day of the school shooting when Jimmy held that gun against your head. I also thought about the day that we got married the second time when you told me you were pregnant with Jamie. Haley I married you to spend my life with you. So many times I've panicked over that life being cut too short. Not having a chance to see our children grow up together. Not having the chance to see our children have children. Do you have any idea how that feels?"
"Not as much as you do but I felt the same way after I left for the tour. I kept telling myself we didn't have long enough before I ruined us. I replayed our memories together in my mind so many times. It's how I finally went to sleep at night. In my dreams you were there."
Nathan pulled back from Haley and searched her eyes. His heart swelled with love for this woman. He bent to claim her lips. Bri squealed in delight. Jamie laughed. "Mommy and Daddy are at it again Bri." After receiving a look from his mom and his dad Jamie quickly stopped laughing and shrugged his little shoulders.
"Jimmy Jam you will rue the day that you get a girlfriend son. I plan to rag you every minute." Nathan ruffled his hair, smiling at him.
"Eww. Daddy I don't want a girlfriend. Katie Mathews is always trying to kiss me on the cheek at school. It's just yuck! Why do you like that?"
"Jamie I promise, son when you find the right girl for you. The one that will be everything in the world to you, it won't be Eww, anymore. It will be magic." Nathan turned to look back at his wife with those last words. Haley smiled at him.
"Does that mean that Mama's the right girl for you Daddy?"
"Yep, she always has been Jamie." He still gazed into his wife's eyes.
"Daddy, Morgan says he thinks my mama's pretty. Do you think she is?"
"Nope." Nathan was still gazing into Haley's eyes his latest answer earning him a surprised look from his wife and his son. "I think she is gorgeous." He added with a smile. Nathan leaned his head down to place a soft kiss on his wife's lips.
Two weeks later, Nathan was sitting in the living room watching Haley play in the floor with Jamie and Bri. 'God his girl was hot' he thought.
"What?" She asked as she met his gaze.
"Do you have any idea how badly I wished we were alone?" Nathan smirked.
"Really?"
"You better believe it."
"Well it's a good thing I said yes to your mom this morning then. She's coming to get the boys."
Nathan smiled at Haley knowingly. Pregnancy kept his wife turned on and he loved every minute of it. It was probably the reason that they would have four children by the end of the year.
After Deb had picked up the boys, Nathan had gone upstairs and got in the shower. When he felt the tiny hands circle his waist, he turned in her arms. He had been so turned on by the display downstairs he was already jittery. Once he was facing her he took her lips with his, causing both of them to groan in pleasure. He leaned his head to her breast, while keeping his hands on her hips to steady her. As he lavished each one with his mouth, circling the nipple with his tongue, biting gently on them and pulling softly with the on the peaks, Haley arched more and more into him. Finally when he couldn't take it anymore he cupped her hips and lifted her to him, pushing her against the tiled walls in their shower. As he moved he ravaged her neck, nipping at the pulse point. He moved his mouth back to hers and took her lips in a fireworks exploding kiss. When he felt Haley begin to move her hips against him, he lifted her more and sank his throbbing erection inside of her.
Haley screaming his name, dug her finger nails into his hair at the base of his neck. "Oh Nathan. God it feels so good." She loved for her husband to take her this way. Feeling him pulsing with in her, pumping in and out as though he'd never get enough, she realized that she never would either.
"Hales, baby, I can't hold on much longer. You're so tight and wet baby. You're milking me." He informed her breathlessly. She had once told him that she loved it when he talked to her during their lovemaking. She loved to hear his voice while he was within the throes of passion. It was husky and dripping with desire. Soon Haley felt the tip of Nathan's shaft pulsing within her. As he reached down between them to lightly pinch at her clit she quickly fell behind him.
"God I love you, Nathan, I love you so much."
"I love you too Haley. I always will baby."
When Nathan pulled himself out of his wife's sheath he immediate felt a since of loss at the contact. As he looked down into her eyes, he knew that she felt it too. Suddenly she took her bottom lip between her teeth and then bravely wrapped her small hand around his shaft, pumping him up and down. Within a few minutes she had accomplished her goal. He was throbbing hard in her hand, ravaging her neck with his mouth and her breasts with his hands and dying to move inside of her again.
Nathan and Haley were lying in their bed holding each other. She was draped across his chest and his arm was tucked protectively around her. Both were spent. They had made love two more times since their initial shower loving, once immediately after the first time and the second, in their bed. When they awakened, that was how they still were.
Haley jumped realizing that they had been in bed all day.
Nathan felt her jump and tightened his hold around her. "What is it?"
"Nothing I just realized we've been in bed all day."
"So?"
"So, I was supposed to meet Peyton and Brooke for lunch."
"Oh. Well if you tell them that you were making love with your totally hot and smitten husband I am sure they would understand."
"Oh yeah, Brooke would but Peyton would scowl"
"Yeah you're probably right." Nathan admitted.
When Nathan heard the cell phone right he moved to pick it up from the nightstand. Seeing the caller ID he put it back with a frustrated sigh.
"Who was that?" Haley asked.
"Dan"
"Nathan sooner or later we're going to have to talk about him baby."
"I know but when we do I think we should do it with Lucas and Peyton."
"Oh. Should I invite them over?"
"Ah yeah Hales? Can we do that another time baby? I'm feeling a little perky again and there is no way I want to get out of this bed."
"You're insatiable Nathan." She giggled.
"No baby, just addicted." He flipped them over and started again.
Later that night, Lucas, Peyton, Nathan and Haley sat at their dining room table.
"So what are we going to do about Dan, Nathan?" Lucas asked.
"I don't plan to do anything about him Luke. I mean he has to know that I will never forgive him. I told him that the day we graduated."
"Nathan, he's calling Luke too." Peyton stated.
"What?" Nathan asked. "Why haven't you told me that Lucas?"
"Nathan, you've got enough on your plate. I didn't want to add to it."
"Lucas in case you've forgotten, you have HCM. I can take Dan's shit a lot better than you can."
"Nathan, I need to tell you something."
"What?"
"Dan told me today that he has six months to live. He needs a heart transplant and if he doesn't get one, he's going to die."
Nathan stared at his brother in shock. Finally dragging his eyes away from him he looked in Haley's. He could see the pain. She really wanted him to be ok with pushing Dan away. Now she was afraid he wouldn't be. If he needed the closure with his Dad Haley would understand she had told him that several times since Dan was here to see Bri.
"Lucas, that is probably just a lie to make us feel guilty." Nathan added.
"No Nathan I had it checked out. I spoke to the doctor."
Nathan didn't know what to say. There was no way he could let Dan back into his life but he never expected that his dad would exit the world. This brought a whole new reality to everything. A reality Nathan Scott did not want to face.
Later that night Nathan was sitting in the over stuffed chair in their living room watching TV. Haley was in his lap with her head on his shoulder and an arm around his neck. One of his arms was around her back while the other was pulled against him so his hand could rest on her stomach. He would never get any sleep tonight. He couldn't get Dan off of his mind. As much as he didn't want him in his life he didn't want him to die to stay out of it either. Nathan was torn. Haley had been right. He wanted to honor his dad's last wish but, he couldn't. This man had done everything in his power to ruin Nathan and he hadn't forgotten that. He probably would never forget it. He started wondering if he could handle Dan seeing the boys as long as he, Lucas and Cooper were around.
As Nathan looked down at the woman in his arms and thought about their life past, present and future he smiled. He moved his hand up from her waist and smoothed her hair that was nearly at the small of her back. He knew that Haley would support him and stand behind him no matter what decision he made. But he also knew that, the decision couldn't cause her any stress.
Around three am he lifted her in his arms and moved up the stairs. When he reached their bed, he placed her in it and bent to take her shoes off. Once he had them removed he moved her legs back to the bed and pulled the covers over her. She was facing the outside of her side of the bed. Once Nathan had removed his clothes and was left with his boxers on, he crawled in bed next to his wife. Haley turned and snuggled up next to him in her sleep, throwing her arm across his lower stomach. They were so in sync. Haley turned to him even when she was fast asleep.
Nathan started questioning if his dad had ever felt that. He knew that Dan didn't love his mom, at least not the way he should have. He had always held a torch for Karen and through his mistakes he had probably never felt what Nathan got to feel each and everyday with Haley. The unconditional love and the bond that he and Haley had was unbreakable now and had been for years. He wouldn't trade that for anything. He decided that he would talk to Lucas and Cooper tomorrow. His conscious compelled him to make an effort even if his heart said no.
When Haley opened her eyes the next morning it was in confusion. She had moved her hand over Nathan's side of the bed to find it empty and the sheets were cool indicating he hadn't been in bed for quite sometime. She put on her robe and made her way downstairs to find him sitting at the table with his cell phone in his hand.
"Morning" she said.
"Morning." He got up and met her half way. Once he had hugged her and held her against his chest for several minutes, he decided he needed to tell her Lucas and Cooper were coming over. "Haley, I called Luke and Cooper this morning. They are coming over here in a little while."
"Is something wrong Nathan?"
"No not wrong I guess. I've decided that I want to let Dan see the boys a little. I mean I won't agree to it unless Lucas and Cooper are there and we're in a public place but I don't' know if I can live with a guilty conscious if I don't do this. How do you feel about that?"
"Nathan I will stand behind you one hundred percent you know that. I told you if you needed closure with Dan I would understand."
"I know you did baby, but the one thing that I won't allow is for this to stress you out. I can't put you and our girls at risk like that Haley. I need to know that this is going to be ok with you. I promise I won't do it often and I won't let him harm them in any way."
"I know you will protect them Nathan just like you're protecting me by worrying about me stressing over this. I will not allow that to happen. I won't take this away from you. I do not want you to have regrets later in life baby"
As Nathan looked down into her eyes, he pulled her head back to his shoulder. "How did I get so lucky?"
Haley laughed reminiscing about the past. "It helps that you're hott."
Nathan smiled at the memory. That was what they had said when she told him she wanted to go to Duke with him. "Haley I want you to know something ok? The only regret that I will have that I can't get past is causing something to happen to you or these babies" placing his hand on her stomach.
Later that morning Lucas, Nathan and Cooper sat at the table. Brooke, Peyton and Haley were in the living room watching Jamie and Bri play.
"Nathan I just don't know if this is a good idea." Lucas said.
"Luke, look man, I don't like it anymore than you do but what happens if Dan gets a heart and then tells Jamie and Bri one day that while we all thought he was dying, I wouldn't let him see them? I don't want to have to answer those questions. I'm trying to raise my boys the right way here. I don't want to teach them resentment and crudeness. That will make me no better than Dan and you and I both know that."
"Luke, Nathan's right. Teaching Jamie and Bri forgiveness and righteousness are so much more important than allowing Dan's actions to affect them. As long as the three of us are there he won't be stupid enough to pull anything. Nathan is protecting those boys and still trying to teach them correctly so they will not be raised like he was. Dan will surely tell them that their dad did it out of spite and evil. You know how he is."
"All right Nathan. I'll help you but so help me god, if Dan tries one thing."
"Oh he won't. I have people watching him. I just want you guys to be there incase we can stop him without harming him."
"What?"
"Just trust me Lucas. You have to know that I won't do anything unless I am certain that my kids are safe."
"Yeah well what about the twins? I mean what if Dan gets greedy and decided that he wants time with them too later in life? Or what if he decides that he wants to join in and be a part of Haley's pregnancy?"
"I'll cross that bridge when I reach it Luke."
"One step at the time right?"
"I sure as hell am going to tell him that if I allow him near Haley he better not upset her or I'll be the next Scott to wind up in prison for murder. That is where I draw the line."
