A/N: Next chapter up and running! A lot of fun stuff in this chapter AND some serious stuff so please enjoy!
Disclaimer: I'm not J.K. Rowling but one week and counting until the first part of the 7th movie comes out!
Kisses on the Balcony
By ByeByeBirdie
Chapter 52: Of Kinkiness, Checklists & Photos
"Ow, ow, ow," James murmured as he slowly slipped onto the bench at breakfast the next morning.
Riley quirked an eyebrow. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she snickered.
Both Lily and James blushed furiously, only causing a smile to spread across Riley's face.
Even Sirius couldn't help but laugh, glancing amusedly at Lily who was determined to avoid eye contact with anyone. Instead, she reached for the sausage links and shoveled them on to her plate. Sirius fixed his stare on James when Lily refused to crack. "Well, I can only assume that your discomfort isn't related to the Quidditch match yesterday."
"Oh, shut up," Lily muttered, chucking a sausage link at him. "How was the rest of the party?"
Sirius grabbed the sausage link and threw it into his mouth. "Don't you dare change the subject, Miss Lily-bean. We're going to need details."
The red tint in Lily's cheeks grew. "No way. Whenever you get your hands on details, somehow the rest of the school knows all of my business as well," she argued huffily, shaking her head. "Pass the scones."
"Oh, look, another subject change," Riley snorted, giving her a look. She pushed the scones out of Lily's reach. "Details first. Then scones."
"That's just mean," Lily scowled, slumping down on the bench as her stomach growled at the very smell of the scones.
"And I highly doubt that we're the only ones who had sex last night," James snorted, glancing between the two of them.
Sirius shrugged, popping a grape into his mouth. "Yeah, so? We're not ashamed to admit that. It's what couples do."
Riley chimed in, grinning cheekily. "Of course, not all couples show up to breakfast the next morning appearing sore. There must be some good juicy details on the subject."
Lily reached over to grab a grape from Sirius' plate and chucked it at Riley. "Is this conversation over yet?" Lily whimpered, trying to reach over Riley and grab a scone with very little luck.
"Not even close," Sirius snickered.
James rolled his eyes. He shared a look with Lily who blushed but shrugged. "We had sex on the roof and let me tell you, having sex on scratchy shingles isn't all it's cracked up to be," he said hastily. "Now give the girl a scone."
Sirius and Riley burst into laughter, both wondering when Lily and James became so adventurous. Riley obliged and handed the scone platter over to Lily, who was blushing furiously. She was grateful that Kay, Remus, and Peter chose that moment to join the four of them at breakfast.
Until Remus had to open his mouth, glancing at Lily and James. "Where did you two go off to last night?"
Lily shot Sirius and Riley a look, wishing them to keep their mouths shut, but she wasn't surprised when Sirius blurted it out. "They were busy having raunchy rooftop sex."
Remus rolled his eyes as Kay and Peter snickered. "That was probably a question better left unanswered," Remus murmured.
Sirius shrugged. "You asked."
"Yes, well that will keep me from asking questions ever again."
"How exactly does one have rooftop sex?" Kay asked with a chuckle.
"Painfully, that's how," Riley retorted, earning an eruption of laughter among them all. James and Lily merely groaned.
"I'm officially mortified by our choice of breakfast conversation," Lily muttered, slumping down on the bench, emitting a painful groan when the bench rubbed up against a large scratch on her arse. Which naturally caused another round of laughter. She stuffed the scone in her mouth and said, "I think it's time that I trek to the library. Has anyone finished those essay questions for Defense Against the Dark Arts yet?"
Sirius snorted, giving her a look. "Talking about essay questions isn't going to stop us from gossiping about your hot rooftop-"
Lily stuffed a scone into Sirius' mouth. "Oh, shut up." She grinned sheepishly as he went flying backwards towards the ground, coughing up scone.
He ignored the laughs that were coming from the surrounding students and slowly stood up, bowing for everyone glancing over at him.
"You are such a drama queen," Riley snorted as he reclaimed his seat at the table.
"Might I remind you that you're dating that drama queen," Remus snickered.
"Hm, I'm drawing a blank as to why I ever thought that was a smart idea," she teased.
Sirius rolled his eyes, returning to the bench. "How can someone 'draw a blank?'" Sirius asked curiously. "How does your mind just draw a blank? I mean, the last time I checked, your mind wasn't the one that drew anything anyway. And if you had a piece of paper and someone asked you to draw a blank, what would you do? How would you draw a blank?"
They all stared at him impassively. "Are you still talking?" Kay snorted.
Riley sighed. "Yeah, I definitely can't recall my reason for dating you."
"You're just jealous that you didn't have rooftop sex," James teased, climbing out of his seat slowly. "I'll follow you to the library, Lily. I finished the essay questions if you want to borrow them."
"No, that was just her way of changing the subject," Sirius reminded him. "Keep up, Prongs!"
Lily found herself gasping unexpectedly, suddenly realizing the correlation between the Marauders' nicknames.
"What?" Riley asked, concerned.
Lily smiled slyly. "Nothing," she lied. "Just realized I hadn't started the Herbology essay."
She gestured for James to follow and led him out of the Great Hall. When the two of them were out of earshot, she turned towards him. "Prongs, hm? I never thought I'd know what those bizarre names were in reference to," she snickered. "What does Sirius turn into? Padfoot can mean a number of different things. A dog? Tiger? And Peter? A rat?"
James nodded hesitantly. He didn't know if it was right to bring down his friends with his own secrets but seeing as she already knew about their transformation, he didn't see how it could hurt. "Yeah, Peter turns into a rat. Don't mention it to him, though. It's a touchy subject," he snickered. "Sirius turns into a black dog."
"How superstitious," Lily joked. She took his hand in hers, drawing him close to her. "Does Riley know?"
James shook his head. "No," he admitted. "Last week, Remus said it was alright for us to tell you, but Sirius hasn't said anything to Riley yet. He'd probably appreciate you keeping it a secret, too, until he has a chance to tell her."
Lily nodded. "I understand," she said, but her heart sank slightly. Big news like this was something she wished she could share with her two best friends. "Why hasn't he told her yet?"
James didn't offer a response immediately. While he felt that Sirius' fears were slightly irrational, they were his fears to explain. James couldn't help but wonder if Sirius was even going to find the courage to tell Riley anytime soon. "You'd have to ask him that."
Lily wasn't surprised that James didn't give her any details. That's what made him such a good friend. First to Remus and now to Sirius. She was lucky to have him on her side, that's for sure.
She smiled, squeezing his hand comfortingly. "C'mon, let's get to the library."
James made a face, quirking an eyebrow. "Or I hear there's a rooftop with our name on it."
Lily pointed to the scratches on the back of her leg. "I think we should lay off the rooftop for a while," she snickered.
He placed his hands in hers, kissing her cheek. "I think you're probably right."
The rest of their friends quickly joined James and Lily in the library soon after they finished their breakfast and soon after they gossiped about their two friends' rooftop sex. They worked in silence for a good portion of the morning except for the occasional question or comment. Eventually, James decided it was time to sneak to the kitchens for a much-needed snack and Sirius jumped at the chance to get out of the library for a while.
"How did you even get her up to the roof?" Sirius chuckled. He had hoisted himself up on one of the empty kitchen counters while the house-elves bustled around him throwing together a mini pizza for the two boys.
"We flew up there."
He quirked an eyebrow. "I thought she hated flying."
"She did," he retorted. "Until last night."
"The sex probably helped," Sirius sniggered.
James rolled his eyes. "Why are you still on this?"
Sirius grinned, thanking a tiny house elf that handed him a cup of hot cocoa. "It's unlike Lily to be so adventurous, that's all. I'm finding it very sexy."
"Ahem, stay away from her," James teased, flashing his friend a grin.
"I have my own very sexy girlfriend thank you very much," Sirius snorted, smiling slyly as he thought back to his own night with Riley. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary but every moment he spent with her was special to him.
James made a face, trying not to think of his best friend, the girl who used to eat worms on a dare, as sexy. "Subject change, please," he snorted.
Sirius couldn't help but laugh as he blew on his hot cocoa to cool it down, taking a quick sip.
James leaned back against one of the counters, gazing at Sirius anxiously. "I told Lily about me being an Animagus last night."
Sirius spewed the hot cocoa from his mouth, inadvertently spraying James, who was looking very disgusted. "Way to lead into that one," Sirius snorted, as he attempted to wipe down the table that now had hot cocoa all over it. "I'm assuming it went well. Or as well as it possibly could considering she's still talking to you."
"It went better than well," James corrected with a curt shrug. "She said she was proud of me."
Sirius quirked an eyebrow, the ends of his mouth turning up. "Are you sure you told her you're an illegal Animagus? Are you sure she heard you right? I mean you did just finish seducing her. She probably would have said anything at that point."
James chuckled, giving his friend a look. "Your sarcasm is unnecessary."
Sirius snickered. He fell silent, turning his focus back on the mug in his hand. He could feel James gaze on him and Sirius sighed. "You think I should tell Riley. That's why you told me."
James shrugged. "No, I think you should do whatever you want to do. I'm simply telling you that I told Lily and it didn't backfire."
He didn't respond. Truth was, Sirius had hoped all along that James would keep his mouth shut so that it wouldn't influence his decision. It wasn't that he didn't want to tell Riley. He just didn't know if he was ready to invite Riley into that part of his life. Maybe if he told her he was an Animagus she wouldn't find that to be a reason to bail on their relationship but he wasn't entirely convinced she was sticking around for the long haul no matter how determined she seemed. How long would it take this time until she found some other reason to bail? Every time he told her he loved her, he saw hesitance. Every time he drew her close to him, he felt guardedness. Every time he looked in her eyes, he noticed apprehension. Maybe he was being foolish and maybe he was being paranoid, but he wasn't ready to let her into his darkest, deepest secret until he saw certainty, felt assurance, and noticed comfort. Most of all, he needed to believe that she loved him.
Sirius was ready to go to New York with Riley and spend some much-needed alone time together, away from everything and everyone. He was hoping that that time together would show both of them how much they needed each other. He was hoping that the intimate setting would make Riley finally let go of all her defenses and just let herself be susceptible to loving someone. And maybe it would be during that time that he could tell her about his Animagus transformation.
"I'm hungry," Sirius finally spoke. "Where's our pizza?"
James gazed at Sirius hesitantly, but didn't bother pressing him further. He had no idea what was going through his friend's mind but he could tell it was something he didn't want to share. "Not sure," James said with a shrug. "But in the meantime, we should totally dig into that bag of chocolate chips behind you."
He was grateful that James didn't press the matter further. It was Sirius' turn to figure things out on his own.
Sirius grinned and grabbed the large bag of chocolate chips on the shelf behind him, grasping a handful himself before tossing the bag to his best friend.
Sirius' eyes zoomed in on his friends in the corner of the Gryffindor common room the next night. He jumped over the back of the couch and landed swiftly onto the cushions beside James with a grin. "Please tell me you guys aren't doing work. I can't look at another countercurse or Potions ingredient or my head will explode."
James and Remus exchanged amused looks. "I didn't realize you took the time to actually look at countercurses and Potions ingredients," Remus joked, shooting him a look.
Sirius made a face. "Riley made me do it after lunch today for over an hour."
James guffawed. "Oh, man, you're totally whipped already."
Sirius sat upright and quirked an eyebrow. "I hope you've looked in the mirror recently."
James pouted. "I'm not whipped!"
Even Remus couldn't help but break out into hysterical laughter.
James grunted and slumped down on the couch. "I don't think you guys believe me."
Remus shot James a sheepish grin and shrugged, knowing enough to remain quiet on the matter.
"If I recall correctly," Sirius continued, a sly grin forming on his face, "Lily flashed you her come-hither look and you were spilling your Animagus secret to her."
James rolled his eyes. "You make her sound like a prostitute propositioning me."
Sirius tried to contain his laughter. "Did you or did you not have sex with her on the roof?"
James blushed.
Remus intervened. "How does having sex on the roof turn one into a prostitute?"
Sirius laughed. "Ok, fair enough, that might be taking it a bit far. But it is particularly kinky. Especially for Lily-bean!"
"I think you're jealous," James shot back, a sly smile spreading across his face curiously.
Sirius snorted. "Of what exactly? The scratchy shingles? The cold breeze? The rash you got on your arse?"
"Believe me, we didn't exactly notice those in the heat of the moment," James retorted, grinning suggestively.
Sirius rolled his eyes. "And here I thought all of the kinky sex was going to be left to me."
James gazed at his friend peculiarly, cocking his head to the side. "Believe me, it is. I'm not the one who has had sex in every nook and cranny of this school!"
"What are you talking about?"
"Broom closets, empty classrooms, cold dungeon rooms, Astronomy Tower, Room of Requirement, Great Hall table."
Sirius gasped. "How did you know about that?"
"Evelyn Marx has a big mouth, that's how," James snorted. Even Remus couldn't help but laugh at the embarrassed look on Sirius' face.
"Hmph," Sirius exhaled sharply. "I still think rooftop sex is worse than Great Hall sex."
"And I think this conversation is getting a bit disturbing," Remus murmured, shaking his head incredulously.
Naturally, Remus was ignored. "No way!" James argued with Sirius, shaking his head vigorously. "At least the rooftop is private. Anyone could have walked in on you and Evelyn!"
"Did you not hear me say shingles? Cold breeze? Rash?" Sirius snorted.
"Seriously, guys. Disturbing," Remus muttered, shuddering.
"Well, then settle this argument or we're going to continue this debate," Sirius suggested, shrugging.
"I am not going to settle an argument about which one of my friends is the kinkiest!" Remus cried out, giving Sirius a look. "Not only do I have no idea how I'd even begin to settle that argument, I don't care which one is kinkier!"
Sirius shrugged. "Fine, we'll ask Kay," he said, nodding his head towards the common room entrance where Kay just appeared. "Oy, Kay!"
She glanced up and strolled over to them, looking exhausted. She plopped down on the couch with a sigh. "What's up?" she murmured.
"We need you to settle an argument," James explained.
"I'd run if I were you," Remus muttered.
Kay glanced back and forth between Remus' uncomfortable expression and James' and Sirius' eager ones. "This is an argument that I probably don't want to settle, isn't it."
"Nonsense," Sirius dismissed. "Who's kinkier: James or myself?"
Kay's ears turned red and she groaned inwardly. "Well, that answers my question," she muttered. "You do realize that you two are dating two of my best friends, right?"
Sirius and James stared blankly back at her. "Uh...so?"
"It's disturbing!"
"Thank you!" Remus agreed with a chuckle.
She gazed at him, confused, but was interrupted by Sirius. "The faster you answer, the faster you can escape."
She sighed. "Well, it's hard to say. We have rooftop sex on the one hand," she teased, giving James a look. "But then we have Great Hall sex on the other hand."
Sirius scowled. "How does everyone know that!"
"Evelyn Marx has a-"
"Let me guess," Sirius murmured. "A big mouth?"
Kay laughed. "Bingo."
"I'm going to have to have a little chat with her later," Sirius murmured, scrunching up his nose.
His three friends all laughed, amused with his discomfort.
"How about we just say that you guys are equally kinky and call it even?" Kay suggested, a bit too hopeful.
"Way to be diplomatic," James snorted.
"May I ask why we even got on the subject of kinky sex?" she asked curiously. "Or would I be better off not knowing?"
"I'd go with the latter," Remus snorted.
James rolled his eyes. "You're right. It's time to drop the subject."
"Does that mean I win by forfeit?" Sirius said, grinning.
"I'm not exactly sure what you're winning, but sure," James snorted. "I forfeit. You win."
"Admit that you're kinkier than I am," Sirius urged determinedly.
James snickered. "My mother told me never to tell a lie," he shot back with a mischievous smile.
Sirius pouted, crossing his arms bitterly. "Seeing as we are both in committed, loving relationships, I don't think our past...erm...sexual history should be a factor in the determining of who's kinkier."
James narrowed his eyes curiously. "Well, I hardly think that's fair. I've been with Lily longer than you've been with Riley."
"I've probably had more sex with her than you've had with Lily."
James hesitated. "Hm, good point."
"Have I reiterated yet how disturbing this conversation is?" Kay whined, covering her ears.
Sirius grabbed a parchment and a quill from the table and glanced back over at James. "I think the only fair thing to do is make a list and count it out fairly."
"I'm not helping you make a list of all the places we've had sex!" James argued, glaring at his friend.
"We will start with rooftop," Sirius murmured, scribbling it atop the parchment.
"Well I am certainly not going to stick around while you objectify yourselves and all of the unfortunate women you have tainted over the years," Remus groaned, smacking a pillow over his face with a whimper. He glanced over at Kay. "How about we ditch these two and do something on our own."
"How about a late-night chocolate run?" she suggested.
"Just what I was going to suggest," Remus said with a grin.
"Wait, I want in on that!" Sirius cried out.
Remus chucked his pillow at Sirius and climbed off the sofa. "No way," he argued, linking arms with Kay. "It's about time I got my estrogen-fix. I've been spending way too much time with you guys."
"I feel affronted," James huffed.
Sirius hesitated. "I don't know what that means, but I feel offended."
Remus rolled his eyes. "Yep. Definitely need to spend some time away from you two."
"I'm feeling more offended!" Sirius cried out after them as they meandered out of the common room with one last wave.
James rolled his eyes. "Let's just finish this checklist."
It seemed that exams were all anyone could talk about. In the hallways, the students were tripping over their own feet because their heads were buried in their textbooks. Food stains were attacking students' notes during meals because they couldn't be bothered to let their eyes stray from their studies for more than a few minutes. Students were forcing themselves to pull all-nighters in fear of failure. The hospital wing was filling up with students who had come across a spell gone wrong or needed help coming down from a panic attack. The tables in the library were filling up by the second and the shelves were looking sparse due to students double-checking their notes. Classes were devoted entirely to the professors refreshing the students on all they had learned. Fifth-years were breaking out into tears over the idea of taking O.W.L.S. Seventh-years were cramming so much information into their brains that a simple spell such as Alohamora seemed liked a difficult task. James and Lily were constantly finding students after curfew, curled up in a ball in a corner of a hallway, too tired to walk back to their rooms.
Kay groaned, placing her head down on the round library table where she was surrounded by all of her friends. "I don't think I could cram any more information into my head even if I tried."
Lily offered her an apologetic lopsided smile. "Just think. In three weeks, this will all be over."
Kay lifted her head long enough to glare at her. "Three weeks sounds like an eternity."
"Just think," Lily replied, the ends up her mouth turning up slyly. "In three weeks, you'll be reunited with Lance."
Kay hesitated, shaking her head slowly. "Three weeks sounds like an eternity!" she whined, earning a laugh from her friends.
James put down his quill and leaned back in his chair. "I think it's about time we take a break."
"Like a let's sneak down to the kitchens break?" Sirius suggested, his eyes lighting up.
"I was thinking more of a let's get drunk break."
Sirius grinned. "You're right. I like that idea better."
"I don't," Lily groaned, giving her boyfriend a look. "When will you learn that alcohol is not the way to solve your problems?"
"I don't want it to solve any problems. I merely want to forget about the fact that I'm about two seconds away from killing myself and everyone around me if I have to transfigure another pillow or if I have to read anymore about the Troll Revolution of 1732."
Lily snickered. "That sounds like a problem to me," she teased.
"And a word of advice," Remus chimed in. "I would start with killing everyone around you otherwise it might be difficult if you start with yourself."
James stared at him blankly. "Gee, thanks for the comforting words."
Remus grinned sheepishly, letting his eyes avert back to his essay. "And all of your studying thus far would be a complete waste."
"As would ours," Riley snickered, stretching her arms over her head and stifling a yawn. "So if you plan on killing us all before exams, would you mind letting me know now? Because I'd rather not be spending my last days on Earth studying for exams I wouldn't end up taking."
"Even if he killed you after exams," Kay chimed in logically, "you probably wouldn't need to study now. Because what good would those exams be for anyhow?"
James rolled his eyes, smacking his palm against his forehead. "That will teach me to try and make a joke during high-stress time."
Remus snickered. "James, don't you think after doing no work last night, you need to spend tonight cracking down?"
Lily spun her head in her boyfriend's direction. "You told me you spent all last night on that Potion's essay."
James glared at Remus. "Thanks for that."
Remus snorted. "I wasn't the one lying to my girlfriend."
Lily's eyes narrowed. "Someone mind telling me what's going on?"
Kay couldn't contain her laughter, bringing her textbook up to cover her face as Lily sent a deathly glare her way. After she and Remus had escaped to the kitchens for over an hour, they returned to the common room to find James and Sirius still knee-deep in making a list of their past experiences. "I just learned a whole lot more about James and Sirius last night than I needed to."
Riley jerked her head up from her essay to glance at Sirius curiously. "You also told me that you were working on your Potion's essay."
Sirius grinned sheepishly, slumping down as he gazed over at James guiltily. "We need to come up with better lies."
"Or no lies at all," Riley snorted, rolling her eyes.
"Believe me," Remus chimed in, "You're better off with the lie."
Remus and Kay shared an amused glance, bursting into another bout of laughter.
"Are you feeling as left out as I am?" Lily pouted, staring over at Riley.
"Oh, most definitely," she murmured. She turned back towards Sirius. "Mind filling us in?"
Both Sirius and James blushed, looking shame-faced.
They didn't have to respond, however. Kay chimed in for them slowly. "I am certainly never going to look at Greenhouse 4 the same again," she snickered. "And I am never going anywhere near the women's bathroom in the dungeons. And of course I have no idea how I'm ever going to be able to pay attention in History of Magic again staring at Binns' desk."
Lily looked completely dumbfounded and Riley shook her head hesitantly. "What are you—oh my God!" Riley cried out as her hands flew up to her mouth out of sheer embarrassment. She glanced at Sirius curiously, a red tint forming on the top of her ears as she realized what her friend was referring to. "What the hell were you talking about last night?"
"What? What's going on?" Lily whined, more confused than ever.
Remus and Kay were too busy bursting into laughter and James and Sirius were too busy looking guilty, attempting to bury their heads in schoolwork, to respond.
Riley slumped down in her chair, shaking her head. "Remus was right," she whimpered. "You're better off not knowing."
Lily narrowed her eyes irritably, crossing her arms. "What the hell is going on!" she repeated.
James shrugged sheepishly, feeling bad that Lily was clearly feeling left out. "Oh, just show her," he snickered, nodding towards Sirius.
As Sirius reached into his bag, Remus let out a loud groan. "You kept it?"
"We still haven't settled the dispute!" he whined.
Lily reached over and grabbed the parchment from his hand, glancing over at it. Her face registered confusion before giving into shock and finally disgust. She glanced up at her boyfriend, giving him a look. "You spent the night writing out all of the different places that you and Sirius had sex over the years?"
James offered her an apologetic, lopsided smile. "I'm thinking the Potions essay would have been a better way to spend my time," he muttered guiltily.
She gave him a look and Riley snorted. "Ya think?" Riley said.
"It's pathetic that half of these on Sirius' list belong to you, Riley," Lily chuckled, running her eyes down the list.
James quirked an eyebrow. "You're not mad?"
Lily laughed, shaking her head. Actually, she found the list amusing. "No, just a little disappointed."
James cringed. "I know, it was stupid, but-"
"No, I'm not disappointed in you," she corrected, shaking her head. "I'm disappointed in us. I'm only listed three times on this thing—bed, shower, and rooftop! I deserve more credit than that!"
Everyone's jaws dropped in unison.
"Sadly enough, even Riley and Sirius have had sex on our common room couch—thank you for the warning by the way. I plan on sterilizing everything the moment I get back—while you and I have kept it completely safe!" Lily continued, pouting at James. When she glanced up at the others, she couldn't help but laugh at their shell-shocked faces. "Oh, close your mouth, you're all catching flies."
"So you're not only not mad that they spent the evening objectifying women, but you're jealous?" Kay snickered, shaking her head in complete disbelief. "I don't even know you anymore."
Lily shrugged sheepishly and didn't bother responding. Riley turned back towards the list, mocking Sirius.
Lily used that distraction to turn her gaze upon James curiously, a mischievous glint in her eye. She leaned in closer, running her foot up his leg seductively. "I think it's about time we spiced up that list of yours," she whispered.
James' mouth dropped even further. He was certain that Lily would feel disgusted and offended. Instead, she was now propositioning him. His heart skipped a beat. "Er…"
Lily laughed at his sudden speechlessness. Her foot slowly crept higher on his leg and he tensed. He quickly shut his textbook and thrust it into his bag, jumping up from the table immediately. "Gotta go," he murmured, his voice cracking.
The rest of his friends glanced up at the two of them in surprise. "Where are you going?" Remus asked, shocked.
"Elsewhere," Lily said vaguely, giggling.
Riley groaned, catching the suggestive tone in her voice. "You're going to try and top this list, aren't you." It wasn't a question.
James only shrugged, chuckling lightly.
"Well, two can play that game," Sirius argued, jumping up from the table himself. He glanced down at Riley. "Two can play that game, right?"
Riley snickered and nodded vigorously, chucking her books into her bag haphazardly.
"Why are all my friends so bloody horny?" Remus murmured in disgust, shaking his head.
"Because we're eighteen years old?" Sirius suggested sheepishly.
"Ah, that does explain it," Kay snorted, rolling her eyes as thoughts of her own boyfriend filled her mind. "You crazy kids have fun."
The four of them quickly rushed out of the library, giggling and laughing like children. Lily couldn't remember the last time she had enjoyed just being an eighteen-year-old teenager. They had all been so caught up with their futures that the present had somehow been pushed aside. But Lily was determined to recapture it with an evening of frivolity with her boyfriend.
And she was determined to prove to Riley and Sirius that she knew how to be adventurous.
Lily ran out of the library and nearly ran smack into another student. If James hadn't grabbed her arm and pulled her backwards, a collision definitely would have ensued. "Oops!" Lily said guiltily. "Oh, hey, Alice. Sorry I almost ran into you."
She quirked a curious eyebrow. "Where are you four off to in such a hurry?"
The four of them exchanged awkward glances before Sirius shrugged. "Word of advice," he snickered, grabbing Riley's hand. "Don't head out to the Quidditch clubhouse."
Lily, James, and a slightly confused Alice all cringed as the two of them disappeared down the hallway. "Is Kay in the library?" Alice asked, choosing not to question it. She was too excited about her own news to bother trying to figure out what the hell Sirius and Riley were up to.
"Yeah," responded Lily. "She's at the round table off to the right. In the back corner."
She grinned, nodding gratefully, before turning her gaze upon James. "Did you get a letter from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement?"
He knew she was referring to the Auror recruitment apprenticeship. She had applied back at the same time that he did. "No, not yet," he murmured. "Why?"
She guiltily held a letter up. "I got accepted into the program," she said, trying to hide her enthusiasm. "I mean, I still have to submit my N.E.W.T.s scores and go through a bunch of preliminary tests and obstacles in July, but if everything goes well, come September, I will officially be an Auror apprentice," she explained, shrugging bashfully.
James' heart skipped a beat, a slight sinking feeling dropping in the pit of his stomach. "Oh, that's great!" He prayed he sounded sincere. He was happy for her. Being accepted into the program was a huge honor.
"Have you told Frank yet?" Lily asked curiously, talking about Alice's boyfriend who was a year out of Hogwarts and full-fledged into his own Auror recruitment program.
She nodded. "Yep. I just came back from the Owlery. And now I'm on my way to tell Kay."
"Well, congratulations," Lily urged, glancing over at James out of the corner of her eye. She knew that James was now probably quietly freaking out that he hadn't received anything yet.
"You'll get accepted, James," Alice said reassuringly. It sounded a bit hollow even if it was sincere. "I certainly wouldn't want anyone else by my side through all of the grueling trainings."
"Thanks," he said with a lopsided smile. "I appreciate that."
She offered him another smile before skipping into the library to search for Kay.
Lily squeezed James' hand as he led her down the hallway. "Want to talk about it?" she asked.
"Talk about what?" he asked, a little too quickly.
She gave him a look and grabbed his arm, halting them before the end of the hallway. She glanced at him determinedly and didn't say anything until he reluctantly locked eyes with her. "Listen, James," she said softly, "No one can predict what will happen. But whatever does happen, I'll be here for you."
His heart fluttered at the overwhelming admiration in her voice. He leaned down to kiss her lightly. "Thank you," he murmured. "Now, c'mon, I hear the…the teacher's lounge calling our name."
Lily snorted, giving him a look.
"No? How about the Potions cupboard?"
Lily laughed, shaking her head. "Try again."
James hesitated. "Forbidden Forest?"
"Yes, I was planning on dying tonight."
James wrapped his arm around her shoulders, grinning sheepishly. "We'll figure something out."
James sighed, slipping into an empty seat at lunch the next day. "Well, it's official," he muttered. "They're rejecting me from the Auror recruitment program."
Lily's heart sank as she shut her Potions textbook and pushed it out of the way. "You got your letter?"
He shook his head. "No," he argued, shrugging. "But Fabian just received an acceptance so that's another position filled."
Lily glared at him, smacking him on the shoulder. "Ow!" he cried, pouting. He rubbed his shoulder. "What the hell was that for?"
"Do you not know the real definition of the word 'official?'" Lily retaliated. "You nearly scared me half to death!"
"Ok, fine, it's not official," James mocked, making a face. "But why haven't I received an acceptance letter if Alice and Fabian have?"
"Has Gideon heard back yet?" Lily asked curiously. "Or Trent? Or Fabrice? Or Kyra?"
James hesitated. "No."
She smacked him again.
"OW! Domestic abuse!" he whined.
"Don't scare me like that again, James Potter!"
He sighed, rubbing his shoulder. "You're right, you're right. I'm blowing this way out of proportion."
Lily nodded. "Just a tad," she teased. She leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Don't fret, James. It will just give you worry lines on your forehead and I don't want to be dating an old man."
He cracked a smile, but Lily knew it was strained. He felt obligated to smile at her joke. He sighed. "I can't help but fret a little. I did just realize that…" he trailed off.
"That what?"
"I don't exactly have a backup plan," he pointed out. He reached for a roll, tearing pieces off of it as he formed his thoughts. "I mean, I-I didn't even think to apply to any other programs or jobs besides the Auror recruitment apprenticeship. What happens if-"
"Stop," she interrupted immediately, her tone firm and determined. "Don't think like that, James. Don't worry about it until you have to."
He bit down on the inside of his lip, clearly still brooding on the subject. "Uh-huh," he murmured, unconvinced.
She reached over and squeezed his hand. After everything he had been through, he deserved some good in his life. She wasn't surprised that he wasn't exactly optimistic. He didn't have a lot of reason to. "Well, I'm certainly going to stay positive on your behalf."
He smiled, feeling slightly reassured. He leaned over and kissed her instinctively.
"Aw, jeez, this is a public place," a voice spoke behind them.
James and Lily pulled apart and grinned at Remus.
"Besides, I'm pretty sure the Great Hall table has already been crossed off the list," he joked, earning a groan from Lily as he slid into an empty seat beside them. He plopped a piece of shepherd's pie on to his plate, digging in immediately.
"Why does that not surprise me?" Lily snorted, shaking her head in disgust. She glanced up at James. "I pray that it was Sirius."
James gave her a look. "Of course it was!" he scoffed.
"Where did you two end up running off to last night?" Remus snickered, a pang of jealousy scouring through him.
Lily blushed. "That is so none of your business." While they had intended to rush off to the Divination classroom, they didn't make it past the fifth floor corridor. Their kisses were intense and so much passion had been ignited between the two, they ended up sneaking into the girl's bathroom instead. Lily never realized how intense sex could be with the overwhelming risk that they could be walked in on at any given time. It was in these stolen moments with her boyfriend that she felt the most free and safe with him.
Remus chuckled and shrugged, not bothering to interrogate any further. He probably didn't want to know anyway.
James and Lily shared a sly smile and returned to their lunch. Lily glanced slightly at her textbook but left it untouched. She would return to Potions later that evening. Instead, the three of them delved into a conversation about the latest incident described in The Daily Prophet earlier that week. Once again, Voldemort had struck. His Death Eaters had attacked certain Ministry Officials outside their homes, thankfully with little success. The rumor in the newspaper was it was the Death Eaters' intentions to cast Imperius Curses against these officials as to establish some sort of infiltration into the Ministry.
"Do you think they've tried before?" Lily asked curiously.
James shrugged. "Who knows. I hope not. I don't want to even think what could happen if high-end Ministry Officials were under the control of the Death Eaters."
Neither Lily nor Remus offered a response. That notion was too frighten to even think about.
"We need people willing to combat Voldemort now more than ever," a consenting voice agreed from behind. The three of them whirled their heads around at the sound of Sirius' voice, who was sliding into the bench with Riley right behind him.
Lily wondered if he was talking about Aurors or the Order. He answered the silent question, turning towards James. "Did you hear that Fabian and Gideon received their letters?"
James' stomach tightened. "Gideon heard back, too?"
Sirius nodded, grimacing. "Not with good news unfortunately."
James fell silent. While this could be good news for him—it meant there was still room for another recruit—it could also mean bad news. It meant that all letters were being sent out in similar stages so there was no way James could tell just by the timing of the Ministry owl. And it just made him more nervous.
"Oh, no," Lily murmured. "Poor Gideon."
Sirius shrugged. "I don't know if 'poor Gideon' is necessarily the right sentiment. Being an Auror was never his intention. It was more his father's and his brother's. He was discussing a job with the Magical Law Enforcement Patrol last I heard as we headed out of the library."
James nodded, pretending to be listening to the speculation, but he was more focused on the knot forming in his stomach. At this point, he just needed to know what his future held for him.
As if the Auror Office had heard his pleas, an owl flew into the Great Hall, heading towards James himself. He wasn't the only one that noticed it. His friends' eyes followed the owl's flight path as he soared through the air and eventually made his way to James. The chestnut owl didn't stay long. He dropped the small envelope in front of James, nipped at a piece of his roll, and took off once again.
Silence fell over his friends and James wondered if they could hear his heart beating out of his chest. Four pairs of eyes stared at James while he fixated his gaze on the letter, now lying on his plate in front of him. He didn't pick it up immediately. He tried telling himself that if it was a rejection, it wouldn't be the end of the world. But he knew he would be crushed. Like he said to Lily earlier, he didn't have a back-up plan. He knew that with his inheritance he could probably be without work for a long time but he didn't deal with boredom well. He was born to work and even though he knew that with his grades and potential he could probably do anything he put his mind to, he wanted to be an Auror. He's wanted to be one since he was five-years-old and he didn't want his dream to end there.
"Well?" Sirius urged.
James sighed and reluctantly tore the letter open. His eyes skimmed the page. A smile first broke out, causing his friends to smile reactively. "I got accepted!" he shouted almost immediately.
Lily's jaw dropped open ecstatically, throwing her arms around her boyfriend, as Riley shrieked in enthusiasm. Sirius whooped in delight and Remus' gave a congratulatory pat on his friend's back.
But it was as if James didn't even notice his friends' congratulations. His eyes were still fixated on the letter in front of him, a confused smile expressed on his face. James' elation slowly faded into shock and then into skepticism. He reread the letter a few times, particularly the second paragraph, and ignored Sirius as he cried out over and over "He got accepted!" while Lily and Riley were cheering excessively. Remus was just grinning foolishly, trying to get Sirius to quiet down.
Lily's eyes migrated over to James and saw hesitation. She recognized that while the ends of his mouth were turned up in joy, his eyes displayed astonishment and guilt. "James?" Lily asked softly, placing her hand on his arm.
"Why are you suddenly so quiet?" Riley asked curiously, her grin showing just how proud of her best friend she was. "Shouldn't we be celebrating?"
"My father...he…erm…" he dithered, words spewing confusedly out from his mouth.
"What about your father?" Lily said encouragingly.
James pointed to the letter and started quoting. "'Due to your father's glowing recommendation and endorsement, we have every reason to believe that you would make an ideal candidate for our 1976 Auror Recruitment Apprenticeship,'" he read. He lifted his eyes from the letter. "I thought my father didn't want me to be an Auror. Why would he offer them a recommendation on my behalf?"
"Because he knew it was what you wanted," Riley pointed out with a shrug. "For once, your father listened to what his son wanted. Just because he hoped you'd choose another career didn't mean he wasn't willing to help you in any way he could before he fled to Italy."
James' head spun around to stare at her, his face frozen with shock. "Wait, Italy? He's…he's in Italy?"
Riley's heart skipped a beat. She hadn't realized he didn't know that. "Er, yeah," she murmured guiltily. "He just became the Second-in-Command under Palantir Lorenzo in the Italian Auror Office. It was in yesterday's The Daily Prophet. I thought you read it."
"I was more or less focused on the article about Voldemort's attempts to infiltrate the British Ministry," James drawled flatly.
Riley opened her mouth to retaliate but said nothing. She knew it wasn't meant to be a dig towards her.
"Did it mention anything about…" he trailed off, his mouth going dry.
Riley shook her head. "Not really. It mentioned his family, mostly giving background information about Wyatt's disappearance and Brite's death, and explained he had a family back in Britain, but no mention that he had left your mother."
"Oh," said James for lack of anything better to say.
"I'm sorry," she cringed guiltily. "I shouldn't have mentioned anything."
"Nah, it's alright," he responded with a shrug. And truth was, he meant it. He had wondered where his father had gone off to not having heard anything from his mother, so it gave him a slight sense of closure.
"You know what else is alright?" Lily said, the ends of her mouth turning upwards. "The fact that you just got accepted into the Auror program you've been dreaming of since you were five."
"Yeah, your father did a respectable thing for once and it turned out in your favor!" Riley pointed out, her tone filled with delight.
"Do you think I would have gotten in even if he-"
"Yes," a chorus of four voices interrupted.
James laughed. "Alright then."
"Stop questioning it," Lily said firmly, giving him a look. "And start accepting our congratulations!"
"Yeah, shouldn't you be jumping up and down screaming like a little girl right about now?" Sirius snickered.
"I don't do that!"
"Uh, how about the night you found out you were Quidditch Captain?" Remus snorted.
"The night you got together with Lily?" Sirius added.
"Just last week after winning the Quidditch Cup?" Riley teased.
"Uh, every year you've won the Quidditch Cup?" Lily snorted. "P.S., you jumped up and down and screamed like a little girl the night we got together?"
He hesitated. "I don't recall the screaming part. The jumping part probably involved my springy bed mattress."
"Well?" Riley urged.
"I am not going to jump up and down and scream like a little girl!" he argued.
Four pairs of skeptical eyes stared back at him.
He grinned, pushing all thoughts of his father to the back of his mind. He was probably still in shock over the fact that he was accepted. His future had finally been decided and he couldn't help but realize that for once, something was going right in his life. "Well, I'm not going to do it in public," he added, rolling his eyes.
They all laughed and Lily couldn't help but embrace him tightly, squeezing his hand. "Well, I, for one, am proud of you."
James blushed, grinning foolishly. "You're right. This calls for a celebration."
Sirius sat upright, his eyes lighting up. "What are you thinking? We still have some leftover firewhisky in our room. Or maybe a quick Hogsmeade run tonight? Or-"
"I was thinking more like a me-and-Lily celebration," James said suggestively, slinging his arm around Lily's shoulder.
Lily laughed and nodded enthusiastically, kissing his cheek. "That's my kind of celebration."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "That list has corrupted you."
"Or maybe it's just me," James teased. He stuffed a final roll into his mouth, leaving the one the Ministry owl bit into untouched on his plate, and stood up quickly. "We'll see you guys in Potions."
The two of them rushed out, leaving their three friends shaking their head in disbelief.
Sirius broke the momentary lapse of silence. "If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?" Sirius asked curiously.
Remus and Riley slowly turned their blank gazes upon him.
Sirius shrugged. "It's just a question."
"I can tell you one person who's just possessed," Remus snorted, smirking in Sirius' direction.
"He's probably talking to you," Sirius said off-handedly to Riley, earning a slap to the back of his head. "Ow!"
Riley gave him a look.
"Yeah, I probably deserved that."
The end of the year was coming quickly. A little too quickly for some of their taste, but it was inevitable. Exams were less than a week away and while the stress continued to overwhelm them, it had simply become an expectation by that point. The cool spring days had formed into the beginning of a humid summer. The grounds were often scattered with students trying to enjoy the trace of summer with their textbooks in their hands. They may as well attempt to enjoy something while studying.
The Great Hall was becoming scarcer with each passing day. Some skipped meals altogether while others merely rushed in to grab a biscuit and a handful of bacon before hurrying to the library to perfect a Stunning Spell or a Bubblehead Charm.
Riley stifled a yawn as she slipped into breakfast on an early Tuesday morning. The ceiling was hazy, large grey clouds forming above them. "I was up so late last night trying to charm my lamp to whistle," she murmured grumpily. "And now if I never hear anyone whistle again in my entire life, I will be perfectly content."
James flashed her a smile and formed his lips into an O shape. Before he could taunt her, Riley glared at him. "Don't!" she argued.
He laughed, nodding. "Fine. Just so long as you never mention the term cross-species switches to me ever again."
Riley hesitated. "Are you able to turn a caterpillar into a butterfly with two antennae? For some reason, I'm always missing an antenna when I try it."
He narrowed his eyes at her.
She grinned. "Right, right, not mentioning it," she said sheepishly. She changed the subject. "Should I even bother asking where everyone is? Or is taking a quick peek through their notes before class the obvious answer to follow?"
"As far as I know, they're either sleeping or studying," James retorted with a shrug. "Most likely the latter. I can't recall the last time I got more than five hours of sleep per night."
Riley snickered. "Five sounds like a lot to me."
James grimaced, nodding perceptively. He returned to running down the list of ingredients in a Blood-Replenishing Potion while Riley helped fill in the blanks when necessary.
She got distracted when the Owl Post flew in and a small spotted owl dropped an envelope off in front of her. The owl pecked around the muffin plate in front of him, nibbling the crumbs that had already fallen to the plate. She opened the letter and let her eyes scan the page.
She sighed, ripping the letter in half twice before chucking it into her empty glass of water.
James quirked an eyebrow, a hint of a smile creeping up. "Not good news?"
Riley gave him a look. "Just another rejection from a wizarding publication. Story of my life," she said. She smiled, shrugging. "I guess it's a good thing I'm sailing to New York, hm?"
James stopped his fork midway to his mouth, jerking his head up to stare at her. "What are you talking about?"
She offered him a confused expression. "What?"
He frowned. "Since when are you going to New York?"
She looked even more confused. Not because she didn't understand the question, but because she didn't realize James had no idea. "Er...I don't know. Since two weeks ago when Sirius asked me to come with him."
"Whoa, what?" James cried out, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Sirius is going to New York? Since when?"
Riley's heart skipped a beat. She was more shocked that James didn't know Sirius was leaving. "I don't know. Since a few weeks ago?" she murmured. "Did you really not know about this?"
James was too shocked to even shake his head. "Where was I when all of these decisions were being made?" he muttered, slumping down on the bench.
She shrugged somberly. "Why do you look so distraught?" she asked.
He didn't immediately respond, frowning. He sighed and glanced back down at his plate awkwardly, moving eggs around with his fork. "I guess it still hasn't really hit me that after graduation, everything's going to change."
"What are you talking about?" Riley asked, furrowing her brow. "What has to change?"
He gave her a look, softened with remorse. "Everything," he repeated. "We're all so used to being together all the time. We rarely get any alone time, not because we don't want it but because there's nowhere to go to be alone. Ironically, knowing that it's going to be hell of a lot harder to spend time together get in the real world, I'm…I know that I'm going to miss it." A nostalgic frown spread across his face. "It's going to be weird when we're all off doing our own thing. When we won't see each other every minute of every day."
"It's not like you're never going to see me again," Riley murmured.
"No, I know," James quickly said. He fell silent, brooding for a few seconds as he moved the eggs around on his plate with his fork. He sighed, glancing up towards her with a lopsided smile. "It's just that you and I haven't spent more than a week apart since the day I was born. So it's going to be weird that you're not going to be around. That's all."
She cracked a smile, lightly punching him on the shoulder. "Don't get all sentimental on me now, Jamesie."
He shrugged, trying to force out his own smile with very little luck.
She frowned, concerned. "What are you thinking?" she asked.
He chewed on the inside of his lip hesitantly. "The truth?"
She nodded. "Of course."
He sighed, throwing his fork onto his plate with a clatter. "I don't know if I'm ready to grow up," he explained vulnerably. "And I don't know if I'm ready to have my friends grow up, either. It might be a bit selfish of me wanting all of my friends around, but I'm not ready to let go."
"What do you have to let go of?" Riley asked, surprised by the somber desperation in his tone.
He shrugged curtly. "Hogwarts," he said bluntly.
She furrowed her brow curiously. "It's just a school."
"No," James quickly argued. "It's more than that. It's everything that Hogwarts taught us. It's the fun we had and the lifelong friends we made. It's the knowledge and the wisdom that the professors passed down to us. It's the mistakes we made and the lessons we've learned from those mistakes. It's the innocence and ignorance we possessed that we'll have to shed in the real world."
Riley stared at him, slowly quirking an eyebrow. "Did you rehearse that speech?" she teased.
James gave her a look. "I'm trying to say that we're not just leaving behind a school," he said softly. "We're leaving behind the people we've become at this school."
Riley frowned. "Why do we have to leave it behind at all?" she argued with a shrug. "Maybe the people we've become here are the people we can be out there. Who says we have to change?"
James didn't respond. He glanced back down at his plate hesitantly. Change was inevitable and he was beginning to realize that he hated change.
"I'm not going to come back from New York a changed person, James," she said softly.
"I know," he murmured. "Frankly, I think this'll be good for you guys. But the selfish part of me wants you to stay."
She fell silent, the curious look in her eye telling him to continue.
He smiled nostalgically, a flash of their five-year-old selves climbing on to their play brooms for the very first time with the help of Brite and the time they had a fake wedding when they were seven so that they never had to be apart from each other and the cake that his mother made for he and Riley the moment they received their Hogwarts letters scrolling through his mind. He thought back to the day he found out he was going to be Head Boy. It wasn't Sirius or Remus or even his mother he had told first even though they had been staying at his house during the time. It was Riley who he confided in first. It was Riley who he told he was nervous to have such a high leadership role within the school and it was Riley who reassured him he would be one of the best Hogwarts had ever seen. He thought back to when Brite left for Hogwarts; he had only been four-years-old but he remembered crying and Riley was there to let him know that at least she would always be there for him. And she always had been. Every single thing that he's ever had to endure, he had Riley by his side. It didn't occur to him that she would change their dynamic with a move across the Atlantic Ocean.
"I'm going to miss you, Riles," he said sincerely, shrugging awkwardly.
She blushed slightly, her heart skipping a beat at his vulnerable confession. "I'm not going to be gone forever," she said. "Just for a few months or so. And we'll still have the summer."
"I know," James assured. "Still won't be the same without you."
She opened her mouth to argue but didn't say anything. There wasn't much left to say.
"Can I ask you something?" James said curiously, his right eyebrow raised ever so slightly.
She simply nodded.
"Do you love Sirius?"
She jerked her head up, alarmed by the unexpected question. "What?"
He shrugged guiltily. "Sorry, but I had to ask."
"Why?
"Because I'm surprised that you agreed to go," James defended quickly. "That's very uncharacteristic of you so I can only deduce that you realized you love him."
She frowned, remaining silent. She glanced upward and noticed that fake raindrops were now falling from the dark clouds looming above them in the Great Hall. "I don't know," she eventually said in complete sincerity. "But I guess going with him to New York is one way for me to find out."
James realized how much she had grown up in just a few short months. He meant what he said; he didn't want her to go because he was going to miss her too much. But he was proud of her for realizing it was the right thing to do for her and for Sirius. "Good for you," he said, putting an end to the conversation. He averted his eyes back to his notes.
Riley's voice broke his concentration. "James, just so you know," she reassured. "I'm going to miss you, too."
He smiled. He didn't know what he was going to do without her come September but he had to realize that at some point, they were all going to go their separate ways. It was inevitable with growing up. He just never realized that it would be so soon. "C'mon," he urged, shoving his books into his bag. "Let's get to Defense Against the Dark Arts."
She nodded and obliged.
Lily was chewing on the end of her quill that afternoon in the Gryffindor common room, trying to finish the prefect's paperwork on top of studying her Potions notes when she heard footsteps behind her.
"Say cheese!"
She glanced up and only saw a large white flash of light. "What the..." she trailed off, blinking furiously. "Gee, thanks for blinding me, Sirius."
He grinned flippantly and hopped over the back of the couch. "Sorry, but I like my shots to be candid."
Lily shut her eyes, squeezing them tightly as she attempted to obtain her sight back. "Why are you taking an up-close and personally invasive photo of me?"
He shrugged. "It's the end of the year and I am trying to capture every moment possible here at Hogwarts before we inevitably pack up our lives and start the next chapter."
"And you really want to commemorate me studying Potions?" Lily snickered, quirking an eyebrow.
He hesitated. "Maybe I'll delete that photo."
Lily laughed, nodding. "I, for one, would appreciate it."
"Then again, 90% of your time here at Hogwarts was spent with your head buried in a textbook, so this photo is only portraying your Hogwarts lifestyle accurately. You can't blame the photo for that one."
Lily cocked her head to the side, narrowing her eyes curiously. "There's nothing to blame the photo for. You're right: academics were a huge part of my Hogwarts lifestyle."
Sirius nodded, turning his gaze away from her. He couldn't help but gaze over at a group of first years in a corner, who looked frazzled and overstressed at the idea of upcoming exams. There was a part of him that missed his eleven-year-old self, gullible and naïve to the impending future that lay ahead of him. "Do you regret any of it?"
"Any of what?"
Sirius shrugged. "Any of it," he repeated. "Anything you did here. Or didn't do."
Lily hesitated, slowly putting her quill down on to her textbook and placing it on the coffee table in front of her. "I try not to live my life with regrets," she said softly, her thoughts reverting back to the two days her parents died. For three years, her head was filled with what-ifs and unanswered questions. When she received her letter to Hogwarts, it was her chance to strive for a future that would one day be worth something. Sure, she had made mistakes since then, but she knew that living with regrets was just a simple way of saying you didn't like the person you had become. And looking at all of the accomplishments she had made over the year, she couldn't say that at all. "Why live in the past, right?"
Sirius smiled knowingly, thinking back on his own travesty of a childhood. The moment he had walked on to the Hogwarts Express and sat down in James' compartment, his life changed. Instead of being known as a Black and all of the implications behind that surname, he had simply become Sirius. He had lived his life to the fullest and even though his parents and his brother and the people he grew up with would never understand his decision to betray their trust and beliefs, he would never regret the day he decided he was no longer going to try to please his family. "Exactly," he said firmly, sharing a smile with her. "Say cheese!"
"Sirius!" Lily whined as yet another flash went off in her face. "And what the hell was that photo capturing?"
He glanced back down at the first years and grinned, knowing that while his future was a huge question mark, he'd rather have that than go back to his wide-eyed, confused eleven-year-old self. "Seizing the moment."
She stopped rubbing her eyes and glanced over in his general direction. "Oh," she said with a smile. "Well, then that's a photo worth capturing."
He responded with a grin.
James walked in and plopped on to the couch beside his girlfriend. Before he could even say 'hi' a flash went off in his face. "Damnit, Sirius!" he groaned. "I thought Remus hid that from you."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "He didn't hide it well," he snickered.
"He thought hiding it in your History of Magic textbook would be a good hiding spot considering you haven't opened it since you were eleven," James snorted, giving him a look.
Sirius shrugged. "To be fair, it was Peter that found it and tossed it my way."
James scowled, slumping down on the couch. "I'm going to have to have a talk with him later."
Even Lily chuckled as she shut her textbook. "I have to get to the library. It's my last tutoring session with the second-years."
James pouted. "I came here for you."
"Well, you saw me," she said, grimacing. "And now you're going to see me walking away."
"Do I at least get a kiss?" he pleaded.
Lily chuckled and leaned over to plant a gentle kiss on his lips, squeezing his arm. "I think I can definitely find some time for us later," she whispered seductively in his ear.
James' eyebrows perked up. "I like the sound of that."
She laughed and started to head out.
"Oooh, now there's a photo!" Sirius cried out, zooming in on her long, slender legs and her tight arse. He instead got a photo of Lily flipping him off, earning a guffaw from James.
Sirius shrugged, grinning. "And everyone thinks she's so innocent," he teased.
"Not me," James chimed in with a snort.
Sirius rolled his eyes, not bothering to retort.
James sprawled out on the couch, propping his feet up on the coffee table in front of him with a stifled yawn. He peeked over at Sirius out of the corner of his eye and found himself blurting out, "Are you taking all of these photos so you'll have good memories when you leave?"
Sirius quirked a confused eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"
"When were you going to tell me you were moving to New York?" James retaliated, his tone stiff and slighted.
A curious expression came over Sirius' face. "I'm not moving there. I'm just traveling there. For an indefinite period of time."
James pursed his lips, not responding.
"Why does it matter?" Sirius continued, shrugging.
"It matters because you neglected to mention it," he snapped.
"I didn't realize I had to run every little decision past you," Sirius snorted.
James glared at him. "Well, I'm sorry if I was under the assumption that you were moving into Potter Manor come September," he retaliated, his tone full of impatience. "Considering that's what you've done for the past two summers."
Sirius was amazed and yet touched by James' words. "It's not summer anymore," he said slowly. "When I moved in two years ago, we both knew it had to be temporary. We're graduating now, James. I can't depend on you forever," he murmured, embarrassed.
"I don't expect you to," James said softly. "I just…" he trailed off. If he was being completely honest, he wasn't exactly sure what he expected from Sirius.
"Just what?" Sirius urged.
"I guess I've gotten so used to having you as my roommate, it's going to be way too quiet at Potter Manor without you," James explained with an awkward shrug. He had never really considered the possibility that Sirius wouldn't be moving into Potter Manor with him come September. He had just expected it and never questioned it.
Sirius cracked a smile. "Of course it's going to be quiet. It's a mansion with nearly twenty rooms and you're going to be by yourself."
"Not exactly what I'm talking about, Padfoot," James argued. He didn't bother pointing out that most likely Remus would be moving in the following year.
"Well," Sirius said slowly, "What are you talking about?"
James hesitated, furrowing his brow in scrutiny at his friend. "Why are you going to New York?"
Sirius wasn't expecting a question in return. Especially not that one. "Because of my uncle."
James offered him a curt nod, a frown forming on his face. "Uh huh."
"You don't believe me?"
"No, I do," James urged. "I just think there's more to it."
Sirius' eyes narrowed, sensing an accusing tone. "Well, do you mind telling me what more could possibly motivate me to up and move my life to New York for a few months than a dying uncle?" he snapped.
"Don't patronize me," James argued, giving him a look.
Sirius snorted. "Who's patronizing whom?"
James winced. "You're right," he murmured. "I'm sorry. I just think..."
Sirius pursed his lips irritably. "Just tell me whatever the hell it is that's on your mind, Prongs."
James swallowed hard, biting down hard on the inside of his lip. He probably should have remained silent. He probably shouldn't have bothered to answer the question truthfully. But he did. "Honestly, Padfoot, I think a part of you is running away."
"From what?"
James hesitated before saying, "The future."
Sirius' heart skipped a beat at the blunt response. He smirked, shaking his head in disbelief. "Not everyone knows what they want to do for the rest of their life, James. Not everyone realizes at age five what they want to be when they grow up. No, some of us were told we'd be joining the ranks of the greatest dark wizard of all time when we grew up. So unless you want me to go ahead with that plan, I prefer the sailing to New York plan instead."
"I never said you needed to have a childhood dream to follow," James retaliated, giving him a look.
"No, you simply said I needed to have a present dream to follow," Sirius murmured.
James clenched his teeth, choosing to remain quiet. He didn't expect Sirius to have a dream. Not everyone needed to know what they wanted to do. But by going to New York, Sirius could put off even attempting to think about it. He was just afraid that if Sirius went to New York, he might find a reason not to return to England. Sirius had always been spontaneous, choosing to go wherever the wind brought him. "This isn't about having dreams, Sirius. It's about hiding from them."
"James, we can't all be as lucky as you," Sirius sighed. His tone was more subdued, soft and vulnerable. "We're not all accepted into the program of our dreams, securing our future. And we all don't inherit fancy mansions that rival the Queen's castle. And we don't have families to fall back on, who would support us through any decision we make. And we all don't have trust funds that we've had access to since the day we turned eighteen that are worth twenty times more than the measly amount of money I have in my bank account. We all don't get everything we want and we all don't get our lives handed to us on a silver platter. We don't have anything but but ourselves." He turned his eyes away from James' shocked, hurt ones. "You don't get it, James, because you don't have to. Your worries are nothing compared to what I have to worry about. So maybe you're right. Maybe a part of me is going to New York to run away from it all. But seeing as I have a reason to go to New York and absolutely no reason keeping me here in England, it's the only option I have."
James swallowed hard, running Sirius' words over and over in his head. He didn't realize that he should feel guilty for all of the things he was lucky to have, but it sounded like Sirius was accusing James of the things he had come to be proud of. James felt compelled to walk away, too stunned and upset to stay there in Sirius' presence. He slowly stood off the couch and offhandedly, glanced towards Sirius, who was brooding quietly. "I'm sorry that you feel there's nothing keeping you here in England," James murmured.
Sirius sighed, giving his friend a look. "That's not what I meant, James," he urged.
James shrugged. "I know," he muttered. He grabbed his bag from the floor and headed towards the exit.
"Prongs, wait," Sirius pleaded.
It was the nickname that caused James to hesitate. He remembered the evening they perfected their transformations. It was three days before the full moon and they had all gathered in the Shrieking Shack as a pre-celebration, enjoying their first moment of true rebellion. It was Sirius who suggested they needed nicknames and it only took a few minutes before Moony, Wormtail, Prongs, and Padfoot had been born.
James turned around, raising an eyebrow.
"I didn't mean to make you feel guilty for the good you've accumulated in your life," Sirius murmured awkwardly. "I just want you to realize how lucky you really are."
James nodded slowly. Truth was, when he reminisced on the neglected lives that Sirius and Remus and Lily lived, James couldn't help but realize he was fortunate for everything his life represented. Even with Wyatt's disappearance and Brite's death and his father's abandonment, James still had more to be thankful for than his three best friends did. "I know that," he murmured.
"And maybe a part of me is jealous of it all," Sirius admitted with a sigh.
"Sirius," James said softly. "Just because you weren't born a Potter doesn't mean you're not a part of the Potter family."
Sirius shrugged, feeling a bit uncomfortable with the compliment. Because even though he knew that James' family was like his own, he hadn't been born a Potter and that did make a difference. If not to James, to Sirius. And no matter how much he appreciated the encouraging words, he still knew that going to New York was the right thing to do. "I need to go to New York, James," he muttered.
James nodded. James knew that Sirius needed to figure out what it is that he needed and wanted and he needed to do that without the sheltering of others around him. And he knew that Sirius needed to do something for himself for once. "I know," James said sincerely as he made his way back to the couch. "Doesn't mean I didn't wish you were staying here."
Sirius cracked a smile. "I'll be back. Believe me, you can't get rid of me that easily."
James laughed and fell back on to the couch with a sly smile. "So how'd you get Riley to go with you? Bribe her with endless sexual favors?"
He wasn't surprised when he was smacked with a couch cushion.
That night as James snuggled into his bed beside Lily, he couldn't help but smile. For the entire afternoon, he had fretted about his two best friends leaving. But taking one look at his gorgeous girlfriend made him realize that he had plenty to be thankful for. And even though his two best friends would be leaving in September, he still had Lily by his side. And he knew that she would always stay by his side. If he had to choose between keeping Lily around and keeping Sirius and Riley, there was no question in his mind that he would choose Lily. He knew one day he would end up marrying her. He couldn't imagine his life without her.
She stirred slightly as he kissed her forehead and he cringed guiltily. "I didn't mean to wake you," he whispered. He glanced towards his watch, noticing that it was nearing one o'clock in the morning.
"Where have you been?" she asked curiously. Lily had returned to the Gryffindor common room, expecting him to still be there but much to her surprise he and Sirius had disappeared.
"Out with Sirius," he murmured. 'Out' was simply spending quality time with his best friend in the kitchens. Most of the time they gossiped about their relationships and talked about their anxieties with the future. They laughed about all of the pranks they had played over the years and reminisced about the first time they met on Platform 9 ¾. It had been a long time since they had hung out just the two of them without the worry of school or the future on their minds. They just had fun with each other and it reminded them of the friendship they used to share as young twelve-year-olds when falling in love was far from their minds and getting a job felt so far in the future that it was nonexistent. They simply enjoyed a night away from everything and everyone. It was nice being the Terrible Twosome again.
But it was even nicer having Lily wrapped in his arms.
"How specific," she snickered, stifling a yawn.
He slung his arm over the side of her body and pulled her closer to him, kissing the back of her neck. "I love you, Lily."
She had no idea why James was suddenly being so mysteriously deep, but she knew not to question it. Something in James' voice told Lily that he and Sirius had talked about something important that night, something that clearly James wanted to keep to himself. And that was okay with her. She knew that James had been friends with Sirius far longer than he had been with her. They had a history that she was still building with James. And she wasn't about to get in the way of that.
A/N: Awww sentimental moments between James and Riley and James and Sirius and even a mini-sentimental moment between James and Lily. I love them all! I realize that James never becomes an Auror according to J.K. Rowling but this story IS an AU so I'm allowed to change things if I want to. I have the whole sequel to this story (yes there will be another sequel!) outlined and planned out and I've had it planned out ever since I started the original story. Which I began prior to the fifth book where we learned a lot of the backstory. So if you don't enjoy reading AU fics, I suggest not reading this one. Only a few more chapters left of this story!
