VERSE TWO Chapter Twenty-Four
JUSTIN
I smile as I fix the foil star to the top of my Christmas tree. It may be tiny, but it's a real one, like we always used to have at home – I never get the same buzz with an artificial one. And it's even potted, so it won't die … after the holiday I'll ask Mel and Linds if I can plant it in their garden, and then I'll be able to use it again next year. I've made decorations for it out of paper and tin foil, and hung it with some small pinecones, painted silver and gold.
I think it looks beautiful.
This is my first Christmas in my own place, and I'm determined to do it properly. Mom had wanted me to go to Nan and Granpa's with her and Molly, but I put my foot down about that. I want to be here.
Anyway, it's not like I'll be alone; Deb's commanded my presence at Christmas lunch tomorrow, so I shall have dinner with all the trimmings, plus more cold turkey and mince pies to bring home than I'll know what to do with.
I get my small collection of presents and spread them underneath the tree. I've already given Mom and Molly theirs, so there aren't many. There's a framed drawing of Linds, seated, with Gus on her lap, while Mel leans on the back of the chair smiling down at them. For Deb and Vic I've sketched a cartoon of the whole gang at one of Deb's Christmas gatherings: everyone is wearing paper hats and laughing, even Brian, who I've sketched lounging on the floor playing with Gus. I've drawn another cartoon for Michael, this one of Rage and Zephyr standing together on a rooftop at night, overlooking the lights of Gayopolis. For Ben, I picked up a 1940's Schaeffer fountain pen from the junkshop at the Mall. It's still in its original box. I know he prefers writing with pen and ink, so I hope he'll like it. For Em, I've got a Bette Davis triple-bill, and for Ted, a CD of Tosca, both of which I picked up at the Big Q bargain sale:
Brian's present is the smallest, but it cost me the most. The last time I saw him, he was trying to light up with one of those electronic lighters and cursing under his breath when it wouldn't catch, so I knew he'd lost another Zippo. The one I've bought him is warm brass instead of chrome – chunky and masculine. I'd spent a long time thinking about whether to get it inscribed or not: I didn't want anything sentimental, but on the other hand I really want him to have something from me that he can carry around with him and enjoy using. Eventually I settled on a simple: To B.K., from J.T. Even Brian can't be embarrassed by that.
I realise that, although I've got Ted a present, I have no idea when I'll see him again. Apparently, now that he's out of re-hab he's hooked up with his counsellor; who, bizarrely enough, is the same guy who nearly killed Ted with an over-dose two years ago. I know there's a lot of bad feeling between him and Em, and they avoid each other as much as possible. It seems a weird basis for a relationship to stand on, but then, I'm hardly in a position to judge, am I?
And as I'm reflecting on that subject, I hear a soft, familiar knock on the door.
Brian.
He's standing there, dressed in his long black overcoat, and he's wearing the strangest expression. For a moment I feel a sharp stab of fear; has something happened? Yet he doesn't look angry or sad – he just looks … kind of frozen.
That's when I notice the box he's carrying. It's got a big red bow on the top.
"Brian?"
He comes to life suddenly. "I wish to fuck you'd leave your cell on. I didn't know whether you were here or not."
"Sorry. I forgot."
He shifts his weight a little, and presses his lips together. If I didn't know otherwise I'd think he was nervous. "Can I come in?"
"Oh, sure." I turn back inside and Brian follows, still carrying his box. He shoves the door closed with his foot.
"I … um … I know it isn't Christmas until tomorrow, but I kind of needed to give you this today."
I stare at him, then at the box, which he's still holding onto with both hands. "You brought me a present?"
He smiles. "I thought it was about time."
"Wow. I'm stunned." I am, totally. Brian has bought a Christmas present for me? No fucking way.
"You'd better sit down," he says, looking more nervous than ever.
Warily I perch on the settee. If Brian doesn't want me standing up to receive whatever it is, I'm not sure I want it. Not after his last effort.
"Here," he says, gingerly holding the box out to me. I take it cautiously – it's not heavy – but then I feel a weight shift inside, and I hear…
BRIAN
He freezes, staring at the box. Then he raises his eyes questioningly to mine. "Go ahead," I tell him. "Take the lid off."
So he does; slowly, disbelievingly. The kitten immediately takes the opportunity to scramble its way out and onto his lap, mewing plaintively. I have to admit, it's a cute little fucker.
Justin sits there, seemingly shocked into immobility, until the little black morsel climbs up his stomach and presses a curious nose to his chin. Then his hand suddenly moves, stroking the kitten's back, and it responds with a throaty purr that sounds far too loud to come from such a tiny animal. "Is it really for me?" he whispers.
"Well, who the fuck else would I be carrying it around for on Christmas Eve?" I grin. Christ, I'm so relieved; I was afraid the little furball would start scratching and yowling and let the cat out of the bag, so to speak, before I could spring my surprise. But for once, things have gone exactly as planned.
And Justin's reaction is all I could possibly have hoped for. Look at him. Isn't he beautiful? His hair tucked behind his ear, his eyes sparkling, his smile flashing; totally engrossed in the small bundle of black fur as it begins to explore its new home. Then he looks up and laughs with pure delight, and all the breath goes out of me. I've only seen that smile once before; it's the same one he gave me after the Prom; the one he never remembered, the one I've never seen since. And my heart leaps because this is proof; I've finally, finally done it: I've made him happy.
The next moment he's in my arms, hugging me so tight I can feel his heart racing. "Thank you, Brian, thank you so much," he says. "I've always wanted a pet, but Mom and Dad would never let me have one."
"Good thing you aren't allergic to animals, then, otherwise it would have to have been a goldfish," I say, hugging him back. "And anyway, before you get too carried away, you ought to know that it was Daphne's idea."
"But you gave it to me," he laughs, still beaming. "And it's the best present I've ever had!"
"I know you really wanted a dog, but I didn't think it would be practical with the amount of time you're not here."
"No, you're right. It wouldn't be fair to a puppy." We watch the kitten as it tries to clamber back in the box, only succeeding in tipping it over itself. We both laugh, and Justin hurries to rescue it. "I still can't believe you got me a kitten!" He turns his eyes to me. "What is it, a boy or a girl?"
I raise my eyebrow. "Do you really think I'd introduce a pussy of any variety into your bachelor establishment? It's a tom, of course. I was going to get a pedigree, but then, knowing your penchant for waifs and strays I figured you'd rather have something that needed a home. So he's from the pound. He's de-flead, de-wormed, and he's had his first shots. You'll need to take him to the vet for the second course in three weeks. Already paid for, of course. "
He suddenly looks worried. "Oh my God, it's Christmas Eve! Can you stay here and watch him for half an hour while I go get him some food?"
"Relax, it's already taken care of," I tell him, smiling. "I've got kitten food, bowls, litter trays and enough toys to keep him occupied for a while. There's even an animal crate you can put him in when you're not here, until he's big enough not to get into trouble. So you can spend the day making friends."
I get another hug for that, and a kiss, and then I reluctantly release him.
"So what are you going to call him?"
Justin looks at the kitten, as it attacks the satin bow and tries to disembowel it, ears laid flat, tiny mouth wide.
"Rage, of course," Justin says, laughing. "What else?"
TBC
Dedicated to my darling Storm, who died 18 years old on Thursday
