Apologies for the double cliffy over the last two chapters, and thank you all for sticking with me.
Also, I was asked about the sequel, and I wanted to say, yes that is still in the plan and will be done if all goes well. But don't worry, I'll let you know when I'm moving there. I wouldn't start it without a warning.
Enjoy!
Chapter 48
Jack and Ianto, still in their boxers, ran to Michaela's room, following Dubhtach who pushed her way into the room and barked.
"Jesus!" gasped Jack.
The room had been trashed. The full length mirror in the corner had been smashed, as had the one in the bathroom. There were clothes littered all over the place, shreds of paper sprinkled like confetti, the cushioned chair by the window had been over turned.
"Oh God… you don't think Connors-?" Ianto mumbled. Jack looked around again, and shook his head.
"No…"
Jack picked up a skirt. At least, it may once have been a skirt. It had been slashed very deliberately, torn up into shreds with a scissors. So had all the other clothes. Even the shoes had been hacked to bits. Make up containers had been thrown at the wall, blusher and eye shadows streaking the eggshell wallpaper. A perfume bottle had been dropped to the wooden floor. This was not a robbery, or an assault.
"I think she did this herself." said Jack softly.
"Why would she tear up all her clothes?" asked Ianto, still hugging his pillow to his chest as if it would protect him.
Jack moved to the suitcase in the corner and gently opened it. He found a Bugs Bunny T-shirt and jeans, neatly folded next to a pair of runners. In the openings of each of the runners, were two figurines. Jack recognise one with purple on it as the one that had been in Michaela's briefcase as Donatello. He vaguely remembered that he'd had three companions. Jack gently touched Donatello and then looked around again.
"I think she was tearing up the bureaucrat part of herself. Look, she didn't touch the casual t-shirt. Or the runners or jeans. Just all the trappings of a… secretary? Lawyer?" Jack wasn't sure what specifically Michaela had been attacking, but he was pretty sure that's what she'd been doing.
"But… where is she?" asked Ianto. Jack shrugged, a cold ball of worry settling in his stomach. Ianto looked down at Dubhtach who was whining against his bare thigh, "If Dubhtach can smell a bomb, she can find 'kaela. She knows her scent better than any other."
"Right. Come, lets throw on some clothes and we'll find her."
Ianto nodded and they ran out of the room and back into their own. As Jack past Rhys and Gwen's room he could hear Gwen moaning Rhys' name. Well it was fine for some!
They grabbed the first clothes they reached and scrambled to pull them on.
"Where is she girl?" asked Ianto to Dubhtach as Jack hopped around, pulling a shoe on. "Find. Find Michaela."
Dubhtach let out a soft bark and turned around. Jack and Ianto followed her out of the room and back into the corridor. Dubhtach twitched right, then left and then bolted down to the right.
"Dubhtach! Lop." ordered Ianto as they chased after her. Dubhtach immediately slowed down to a fast walk. "Good to see she remembers her early training."
"Yeah." Jack decided that the second he got a chance, he was testing this dog out. They followed Dubhtach down the stairs and into the Foyer. Dubhtach sniffed around for a moment before hurrying to the pavilion. Dubhtach sniffed again and then took a running leap over the railing and into the garden.
"Oh Jesus!" groaned Ianto, as he and Jack clambered over the railing and dropped into the garden with muffled thumps. Thank God the grass was soft.
They chased after Dubhtach in the dark grounds and Jack growled, "We should have brought torches."
"Shoulda woulda coulda!" snapped Ianto as Dubhtach broke her training and started charging across the lawn, letting out an anxious bark. "Dubhtach! Wait!"
But the dog disappeared behind some of the bushes. Jack and Ianto broke into a run, which became an all out sprint when they heard Dubhtach start to bark again. Jack hurdled over the bushes and Ianto ran around them as they neared the source of the barking. When they reached it, Dubhtach stopped barking and started whining in the back of her throat. They both stopped short as they saw her.
"Oh God!"
Michaela was splayed out on the ground, in a large T-shirt and nothing else. She was bare-foot, arms stretched out around her head and the side of her face was white in the moonlight. For a horrible moment they both thought she was dead.
But as Jack touched the first part he could reach, which was her bare leg, he was relieved to find some warmth and he then checked her pulse. It wasn't strong, but it was there and she was breathing. But she wasn't moving, and didn't respond when they called her name. "We need Owen." decided Jack, pulling out his phone and dialling the number. It rang too many times for Jack's anxious nerves as he and Ianto tried to wake Michaela up. Ianto was raking his fingers through her hair, lowering his face to hers and calling her name into her ear.
"What?" growled Owen as he finally answered.
"Owen! Get dressed and get out into the gardens! Michaela's unconscious and we can't wake her up."
"Is she breathing?" asked Owen, sounding more alert.
"Yes, but her pulse doesn't feel that strong."
"Ok, don't move her, just to be safe. Can you see any blood?"
Jack glanced around, saying "It's too dark, we've just got moonlight, but none that I can feel."
"Ok, have you got something to cover her with?"
"My coat."
"Great. I'll be right down."
Jack hung up and shucked his coat off. It was freezing cold outside, with the crystal clear sky letting the meagre winter heat escape. There would be frost in the morning. Jack covered Michaela with the coat and tucked it under her.
"Why won't she wake up?" groaned Ianto, running his fingers through her hair.
"I don't know. Look, Ianto, go and wait for Owen so he can find us. I'll stay with her. Go on! Go."
Ianto moved away after a moment's hesitation, leaving Jack alone with the unconscious girl. Jack kept checking her pulse. It was too weak for him.
"C'mon Mouse, don't you dare stop breathing. Not today! I still owe you a kiss. And I want to see how you managed to train the dog so well. And I want to understand why you don't trust us any more."
He lifted his hand and stroked her cheek. It was chalk white in the moonlight, and felt brittle under his touch. Her lips were chapped as he ran his finger over them.
Dubhtach whined in the back of her throat again and nosed Michaela's hand, licking it with her huge tongue. She lifted a paw and padded at the hand, licking the skin again, like a mother whose new-born pup is not breathing and is trying to help. Jack reached out and patted the dog's head affectionately. But he knew Dubhtach could sense his distress as she licked his wrist and whined again.
"I know. I know. But she'll be fine." he murmured to the magnificent animal. And she really was magnificent. In the moonlight she was standing tall and proud, straight backed and prepared to take on any one who would dare harm her mistress. Jack would have loved dearly to set her on Connors.
Glancing back down at Michaela, Jack wondered what in the world she'd been thinking agreeing to do something like that with him. Jack understood hateful sex, understood having sex with someone you can't stand could be exhilarating and satisfying, but he knew, from personal experience, that this girl would never find pleasure in it.
As he stroked Michaela's cheek soothingly, Jack wondered if he could maybe help her. He'd been able to push his life energy into Carys and Ianto, so maybe he could do something to help Micka-Mouse. Didn't she deserve some help?
Jack gently moved her arm out of the way and leaned forward. It was awkward, because she was on her front and Jack was afraid to move her too much. But he was able to roll her onto her side enough so he could lean forward and press his lips to hers.
"Jesus Jack! Put her down!"
Jack pulled away, "I was trying to help." he said as Owen, Ianto and Tosh hurried over. Owen was carrying his medical bag that he'd refused to leave behind in Cardiff. Tosh and Ianto both held torches.
"Yeah well let me do the helping." snapped Owen as he knelt down next to Michaela and rested his hands on her ribs, calling "Michaela, can you hear me?" And when she didn't answer, Owen pulled the coat off her and started listening to her heart and lungs.
"Gwen and Rhys are clearing her room so we can bring her up. They heard us rushing around." said Tosh as she pulled Jack and Ianto away to give Owen room. "What happened?"
"We don't know, we just found her like this." said Jack.
"It was Dubhtach who let us know something was wrong." said Ianto, holding tight to the dog's collar as she strained to go back to her mistress's side. It was a genuine struggle as he snapped, "Sit!" at her. Dubhtach reluctantly obeyed but she didn't take her eyes off Michaela and Owen. Owen had rolled Michaela onto her back and was gently probing her stomach. Then he straightened up and said,
"Right, Jack, Ianto one of you pick her up and we'll bring her upstairs. Let's warm her up and see if I can wake her. I'm not finding anything to explain why she's unconscious."
Ianto hurried to gather Michaela up into his arms and Owen rewrapped her in the coat. They hurried to the hotel, and met Archie in the Foyer. Apparently he too had heard the commotion.
"What's the matter with her?" he demanded, rushing over.
"We're not sure. We're bringing her upstairs so Owen can check her out properly." said Jack, resting a hand on Archie's shoulder.
"Damnit! This is all my fault." said Archie desperately.
"Archie, how could it be your fault?" asked Jack reasonably as they entered the lift.
"I let her isolate herself in Torchwood House. I didn't push her, she was just so angry with me."
"Angry?"
"I… I told her something and she was furious with me."
"Archie she adores you." said Ianto.
"Yeah well you're not the only one who's fucked up lately." growled Archie.
"C'mon now, chat after we get her settled." said Owen sharply as the door opened and they moved down the corridor.
"Owen… she doesn't weigh anything." said Ianto glancing down at her pale face as he cradled her in his arms. Her lips were blue tinged.
"Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure she's undernourished. She's too damn skinny. But I'll take a proper look first before we decide to panic, ok? In we go."
Ianto hurried into Michaela's room. Gwen and Rhys had swept all the mess into the corner out of the way, stood the cushioned chair on its legs and pulled the sheets away so Ianto could lay her down. He pulled the coat off her gently and stepped back so Owen could kneel on the bed and start checking her over properly. Dubhtach sat on the floor at the other side of the bed and watched him intently
Jack, uncomfortable with just standing there, said, "Gwen, take Tosh and find out where Lieutenant Connors is sleeping."
"You think he did this?" asked Gwen at once, narrowing her eyes in anger at the idea.
"I don't want to take the chance, go on."
They nodded and left. Archie stood at the foot of the bed next to Rhys and wrung his hands. Rhys was in his boxers and a t-shirt, and looked out of place now that Gwen was gone.
"Anything we can do Owen?" asked Jack.
"Check her bags, see if there's anything, pills, drink, anything at all." said Owen as he flashed a light in Michaela's eyes. Ianto immediately started searching. Owen put the torch away and began feeling her neck, then her ribs. Jack glanced at her legs and noticed her tattoo standing out very green against the pale skin. The legs seemed skinnier than he remembered. So did her arms, and Owen's hands seemed very close together as he felt her ribs.
"I found something." said Ianto, pulling out a large bottle that rattled loudly. "It's 300 painkillers… unopened."
"So, she hasn't taken any of them." said Owen, "Besides, that doesn't explain how she ended up in the garden."
"There's a note on the side." Ianto squinted at it, reading aloud, "'Go to the darkness for your failures'… what?"
"What the fuck does that mean?" asked Archie, still wringing his hands.
"There's enough pills in here to kill someone." said Ianto softly.
"And if we'd lost the trial she'd have seen it as a failure." said Jack quietly.
"She was gonna kill herself if she lost the trial." said Ianto in a hushed voice. He set the bottle down in disgust. Jack sucked in a horrified breath.
"Ok, gentlemen, if you'd all leave, I'm about to check her over under her t-shirt." said Owen firmly. Jack and Ianto nodded and ushered Archie, who seemed to have slumped into a state of shock out of the room, followed by Rhys. Ianto closed the door most of the way and leaned against the wall. Jack put his arm around his shoulders, holding him close. Ianto's hand came up and closed around his. They stood in silence for a few minutes, then Ianto asked quietly,
"What did you tell her Archie?"
"Huh?" grunted Archie, giving a start.
"You said she was angry with you about something… what was it?"
Archie sighed and shook his head, "I was trying to help."
"What was it Archie?" asked Jack gently, aware of how old Archie looked.
"It was about why I sent you to London."
"You said I was to go there because the job opportunities were better."
"That was true, but there was another reason. It was because of you and her."
Ianto frowned at him, and Jack held him a little tighter.
"Her and… you mean how we were together?"
"Aye. I sent you down to London because I saw what you two were doing."
"We were-"
"Just let me speak lad." said Archie, raising his hand for silence. Ianto closed his mouth and nodded, "Now… you two thought you were grand. That you were doing great. But I could see that wasn't the case. You were turning inwards more and more. You were all but living in the Torchwood House. I know you thought it was all normal because you two were together, but I saw two kids who were so scared of the outside world, they were crafting their own. You didn't go out for food, to socialise-"
"We had each other!"
"You see, you still don't realise what you were doing. Ianto, ye weren't spending all your time together because you were in love. Ye were doin' it to get away from a world that had knocked you over so many times. Ye were becoming introverts, isolating yourselves."
"So you made us break up for that?" demanded Ianto. Jack tightened his grip again. Archie shook his head,
"No. I sent you to London so she would follow you. London, the heart of England, with eight hundred other people in the same building as you. It was the perfect way of snapping you both out of it. But you went and she never followed. You never invited her down and she didn't feel welcome once you fell for that Lisa lass."
"You… you manipulated us." murmured Ianto. Archie swallowed and nodded,
"Aye, I did. But it didn't work."
"What gave you the right to manipulate us like that?"
"I was trying to help you! You thought you knew all, done all, didn't need to be told what to do. I tried to be subtle, but you didn't want to hear it, and neither did she. She was so damn determined to be ok after everything that bastard had done to her… that she kept pushing. So I took a drastic action. But I never thought you two, who were joined at the bloody hip for almost a year would just throw away everything you had because distance was an issue."
"We didn't throw anything away!" snapped Ianto.
"Then why did you never ask her down?" asked Archie coolly.
Ianto scowled, "Well it's not like she was all alone. She found Jack didn't she?"
"For a week! And she only did that 'cause I told her to."
"You did what?" shouted Ianto. Jack covered his mouth with his hand to quiet him down.
"What do you mean you told her to?" he asked coolly. Archie tutted and shook his head.
"Jack, ye might think yer the cat's well endowed pyjamas, but if I hadn't sworn up and down that Micka could trust you in her bed, she'd have run away from you every single time."
"You've been manipulating her for years!" snapped Ianto through Jack's fingers.
"No! I've been trying to help her. I never pushed her into anything. She came to me in a tizzy about Jack coming on to her, she was damn near terrified and I told her not be scared of Jack. If she could trust anyone, it was Jack, because despite all the rumours of his sex addiction and mania and whatever else they called it, there'd never been a single complaint by anyone of feelin' used. I knew Jack would be good for her, give her a confidence boost. If I hadn't I'd have told him where to go with my foot up his arse!"
"Hey now, lets keep it quiet." said Rhys gesturing downwards with his hands. "People are trying to sleep."
"I don't care. You can't just mess with someone like that." said Ianto furiously.
"Oh yeah, you've been no better! In any case I told Micka all this and naturally she was furious. Hasn't spoken to me until this trial started. Which made it harder for me to watch over her."
"So you knew something was wrong?"
"Aye, and I told you as much while we were waiting for the verdict. But I don't know the extent of the problem."
"Well, I can give you some enlightening info." said Owen emerging from the room and gently closing the door.
"Well?"
"Well, as near as I can tell she collapsed from complete exhaustion. She's also malnourished. I mean badly. I'd go as far to say anorexic, but I don't think she's got the mental aspects of the condition. She's underweight, her hair's thinning and… well there was one odd thing."
"What?"
"Well… it looked like she took a marker and… drew out her organs."
Jack glanced around and saw the other's expressions matched his. Utter bafflement. "Her organs?"
"Not all of them. But the kidneys, the liver, her ovaries, and her lungs and heart. She drew them onto her skin and then she wrote the name Blaine in each one. Does that name mean anything… I guess it does judging by your expressions." Owen looked a little alarmed at Ianto and Archie's identical furious expressions.
"Who's Blaine?" asked Rhys, ever curious.
"A man who deserves to die." growled Archie. "Bastard…"
"He hurt her. A lot." said Ianto quietly. Owen's eyes lit up in understanding and he grimaced.
"Well, any idea what the drawings mean? There's no evidence of self-harm, just the drawings."
Ianto shook his head. Archie grunted as he said,
"No, no idea. But why would she be thinking about Blaine now? She saw a shrink, surely she should be able to… what?"
Ianto had winced and now looked ashamed. Archie narrowed his eyes at him, "Ianto?"
Ianto, looking a little like a naughty boy, brought his hand up to his mouth and mumbled, "She… she never went to the shrink. She, well she begged me to-"
"To what?"
"To get her out of it, so I lied and pretended to be another shrink and said she'd be seeing me. We didn't feel it was wholly lying. I mean, we were trying-"
"Jesus Christ Ianto! After all the things that man did to her and you think it's a good idea to get her away from someone who can help her?" demanded Archie.
"Hey! You weren't there when she begged me to get her out of it." snapped Ianto.
"Great excuse."
"Shut up the both of you!" snapped Owen, in his best doctor voice. "You've both fucked up royally here it's clear, but it's not helping anyone, least of all the unconscious woman in the next room. Now, someone needs to stay with her so she's not alone when she wakes up. So, who's the best choice? Me, the good for nothing rapist? Ianto, who seems to have driven her to madness? Archie, who helped him? Gwen, who's been butting horns with her since she first appeared in our lives? No? Well that leaves Jack, Tosh and Rhys. Who's the best choice?"
"She doesn't know me. I wouldn't like to wake up and find some stranger watching me as I sleep." said Rhys, looking uncomfortable.
"Tosh then."
"No. Jack." said Archie.
"Archie she doesn't trust me anymore than you or Ianto." said Jack, who just wanted to go to bed now.
"But you can handle her. Toshiko is too sweet to restrain her if she gets aggressive."
"She's ill, not dangerous." snapped Ianto.
"We can't take any risks. Besides, if she is dangerous, it's to herself."
"There's no evidence of self harm."
"Even so."
"If Jack stays I'm staying." said Ianto firmly.
"Ianto-"
"No. I wanna stay with her." said Ianto, setting his jaw.
Jack sighed, "Ianto, I know you think you can help, but remember what she said to you only a few hours ago. Do you really think she'll appreciate waking up to find you there?"
"You don't know she won't."
"Ianto, go to bed!" snapped Owen, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "If she's not woken before you, you can pop in and take the dog out to take a dump. Now go on. I'd like to get some sleep so I can look after her properly in the morning."
Ianto looked like he wanted to argue, but Owen span him around by the shoulders and shoved him down the corridor. He stumbled, but then skulked back to his and Jack's room. Jack sighed,
"Owen, she thinks I'm out to Ret-con her."
"Yeah, well, do you want to leave her to Tosh, who doesn't know her at all, or you, who might have half a chance of getting through to her?"
Jack sighed again and nodded. At that moment Gwen and Tosh arrived back,
"Connors is having sex with some other woman, and sounded like they'd been busy for a while. I don't think he'd anything to do with it." said Gwen, looking disgusted.
"I think she wandered down there on her own, although fuck knows why." said Owen softly, folding his arms. "Jack's gonna watch her and call me if I'm needed. Everyone else, to bed, we'll sort this mess out in the morning."
Jack nodded, and slipped back into Michaela's room, Dubhtach following him. Owen had covered Michaela with the sheets and duvet, letting her hands rest on top, on her tummy. Her hands, which Jack had found delectably small once, now seemed too big at the end of her skinny arms. Her wrists and elbows were bony and, with the paleness of her skin, Jack thought of frosted glass, and how easy it looked like it would be to break her body.
Dubhtach whined in the back of her throat again and climbed onto the bed, sniffing at her mistress's hair as she lay down on her stomach and rested her head on her paws. There was a forlorn look in her big brown eyes.
Jack moved alongside the bed until he was next to her head. She looked like she was sleeping, but there was an unnatural gauntness to her face. Jack perched on the edge of the bed and reached out to stroke some hair out of her face. Owen was right, it felt weak and thin.
"Oh… Micka." he sighed, "Where has your youth gone?"
It was true. He felt like Peter Pan staring down at the rapidly aging Wendy. He almost felt like he was draining her or something.
"Wake up soon, yeah? And let us help you. You saved us… but you should have come to us if you were in trouble. Why didn't you come to us?"
Jack was sorry to say he could probably answer that.
There'll be some Tosh/Owen in the next chapter. And of course some answers. Or possibly more questions… who knows!
Night's Darkness
