"Man it's freaking baking here" muttered Baldemar wiping his brow.
"Dude, I feel like I'm in a broiler or something" agreed Dion.
Saprus shrugged. His suit had air-conditioning since he usually spent long periods of time in it. He was wearing a large hat on his head to repel the sun from his eyes though.
"Stop your bitching" ordered Taika. Unlike the rest of them, she was used to this sort of heat. She was a professional huntress after all.
"My people…may have lived in these conditions…but I don't freaking see how!" exclaimed the inventor collapsing. "Just leave me…I can't…go on…"
"Stop being such a crybaby" snapped the huntress.
"Fine…I'll…be a…corpse than…" he said before pretending to pass out.
Dion quickly joined him, collapsing onto the pavement dramatically.
"Never thought…I'd die….like this" murmured the Titan. "Have to….have…final…sip of rum."
He pulled out a bottle of Captain Morgan Freeman rum and sipped it. Then he smiled. "Now…I can die…"
Saprus glanced at Taika. "Is it really that bad?"
"No it isn't. These two are just too used to being indoors" murmured the huntress.
They were in the city of Oasis, the primary settlement in the Western Sands. It had been rebuilt once the Raiders had finally began to settle elsewhere and was fairly full of people. The thing was, it was still just as hot back then as it was now. This however made solar power one of the primary forms of energy collection, making it incredibly easy to live there. Needless to say that also meant it had to be incredibly hot for those electronics to work.
"Come on. We're supposed to meet Mel and Del in that diner. And they have AC" said the huntress.
Dion crawled onto his belly and began to drag himself. "Come….on…must…get to….AC…"
Saprus sighed and grabbed him. Hoisting him onto his shoulder, he began to carry him.
"You two are hopeless" muttered the infected.
"Shut…up…" gasped the Titan exaggeratedly.
"Okay stop being drama queens!" snapped the huntress. "God you're like high school bitches or something!"
"I slept with a few of those" said Baldemar standing up. He apparently had decided to give up on looking like a sissy. He had actually thought it was fun until he actually began to get burned.
"I'm not….exaggerating…" murmured Dion. "Really…dying…Titan…not meant…for heat…."
"Shit" spat Taika. "Get him to the diner, quickly!" Apparently he really wasn't kidding and he was dying of the heat. She kicked herself for doing that, but now was not the time.
They dragged the petite Titan into the courtyard, where they noticed an odd statue. It looked like an emaciated man holding a wrench crouching down. He was apparently shaking hands with a small robot, who appeared surprisingly familiar.
"Is that a CL4P-TP bot?" wondered Baldemar.
"How would you know that?" asked Taika.
"I rebuilt a few in my youth. I thought they had all gone out of commission."
"Still…dying" reminded Dion.
"Right. Sorry!" said the huntress dragging him further.
They reached the diner and quickly walked inside. It was half empty at best and an overall layer of dirt and dust was on the floor. Needless to say the place was everybody's favorite since it didn't bother trying to appear fancy.
The guy behind the counter sighed as they walked in. He was wrapped in cloth all around his face and neck, leaving only one eye to the air. His clothing was very loose on his body and rather ragged, but he didn't appear to be hot at all. "Holy crap, did one of you idiots get dehydrated? Seriously, it's a desert. You get dehydrated, you die. It's not that hard to remember."
Mercer: Cooking up Hell and snark
"Just shut up and get us some water" ordered the huntress sternly.
"Fine, whatever" murmured the man reaching behind the counter. He apparently had done this a few times before since he had multiple bottles of water prepared.
The Vault Hunters collapsed into a booth, laying the Titan across one of the seats. He flopped down like a dead fish, panting slightly as the air-conditioned air washed over him.
"God you look like a bitch in heat" murmured Baldemar cheekily.
"Shut up" snapped Dion. "I feel like I'm dying."
"That's just because you're too much of an idiot to drink water" explained the man walking over to him. He handed him a water bottle and adjusted one of the AC vents. "Just relax and cool yourself down landlubber."
"What?"
"Sorry. Old pirate term. Anyway, I'm Mercer, owner of this diner. You gonna order something?"
"I'll take some mint iced tea" said Baldemar.
"Lemonade" stated Taika leaning in the chair.
"I'm good" responded Saprus.
"Cool. Just make sure your buddy doesn't die. I don't want the cops here again" explained Mercer walking back behind the counter.
As he began to mix the drinks, he glanced back at them. "I hear you are the newest Vault Hunters. Gotta say, only three of you have my confidence."
"Screw you" spat the Titan. "I'm not meant for heat. It messes up my body."
"You know, there are ways to stop that" replied Mercer. "I wear this outfit since it keeps me cool. No idea why, but it does."
"I think I might just take that idea" said Dion. "Know any place where they sell them?"
"A few. But you better cool off first" advised the owner.
He walked back and handed them their drinks. "Gotta say, it's nice to see new faces doing the Raiders' work. I'm sure you all are doing fine. I met the last generation a while ago. Damn good guys and girls. You all remind me of them. Kinda."
"Thanks" stated Baldemar sipping his tea.
"What's with that statue in the center of town?" inquired Taika. "Who's that man? And what's a Claptrap going there?"
"Oh that? We put that there a while ago" answered Mercer leaning against a pillar. "That dude was a guy named Shade. Guy was crazier than a pair of hogtied Sand Grubs, but he did do this town a huge favor. He dug all the way to Hayter's Folly nearby and connected the town to the spring. Gave this town nearly unlimited fresh water so the Raiders could use it. He died when he had finished it, since he had gone completely insane by then, but he helped us a lot."
"And the Claptrap?"
"Oh that little shit? Well, he made sure the town was running right when Shade was building. They were a team apparently, and both of them died on the same day. I met that Claptrap. I felt like my brain was bleeding, but he had a way of insulting a person while complimenting you…."
Mercer shrugged. "Anyway, they both sacrificed themselves to make this town livable, so we made that statue to honor them. To be honest, I think that was a nice touch. Looks cool too, all bronze and copper and shit. Really makes the town feel like a real city."
The owner shook his head. "God, I'm reminiscing in bullshit. Sorry about that."
"Naw, it's cool" stated Baldemar. "But listen, we need to find these two guys. They look exactly alike and they're about five foot…"
"Oh Mel and Del?" guessed Mercer. "They left to go scout out that Maliwan base the Raiders are talking about. I was wondering why they left without ya, but I guess they had good reasons."
"Shit. Where is the base?" inquired Taika.
"About two clicks north. You gotta take a sandskiff to get there. But first, I'd recommend your greenette buddy outta get some new garb to survive."
"Agreed" stated the Titan.
Saprus stood and handed over the money. "Thank you for your troubles."
"Ah naw, keep your money" said Mercer. "Vault Hunters go free. Well except Krieg, Brick and Salvador. I figured out really quick not to let them eat free."
Dion grinned. "Ya might want to revoke that on me."
"Well water is free no matter who you are. City law" explained the owner. "Now get out. I got plenty of thirsty customers who came here for greasy food and bad service. And good luck."
