Kogouma asked for a bit more Bucky, which was seconded by Ravenwolf36.

Since we all need a little more Bucky being sneaky in our lives, I happily obliged.

Also, MERRY CHRISTMAS. (For anyone who celebrates it.)


The Third Party Interference Kiss


There were a few things James was absolutely certain of. One was that Natasha was the most amazing woman in the world, No questions asked. Two was that Clint was actually a pretty chill guy and a great friend for Natasha. Three was that Steve was just as reckless and idiotic as his still rather fuzzy memories suggested he was. Four was that Steve and Tony were in love and complete idiots about it.

And James was the only one willing to do something about it.

Seriously, it had been months, and all everyone was doing was politely ignoring the longing sighs and stares from both parties. James was tired of always seeing the kicked look that Steve got whenever Tony left the room. He was tired of seeing Tony walk into walls because he was too busy staring at Steve's ass in a pair of tight pants. He was just tired.

And he kind of wanted Steve to be happy. Happy for himself and not for others, the way the self-sacrificing idiot so often was. Steve had had so little in life that was truly his, and James wanted something for Steve that would at least repay the debt he owed him.

Steve would probably hit him upside the head for thinking like that, but James couldn't help it.

So it was with absolutely no regret and no small amount of eagerness that James put into motion the plan Operation Get Steve and Tony Together So They Can Fucking Stop Pining.

The name might need a little more work, but James thought it got the general gist of what needed to be done.

Plan A involved locking them inside the same room and waiting for the unresolved sexual tension to explode. He expected it'd take thirty minutes at the most given the stifling amount that the two usually put off.

Unfortunately, Plan A failed when he didn't take into consideration Tony's hacking skills. The two were out of the room in fifteen minutes, seeming none the wiser for who had locked them in. James had already gotten JARVIS's approval for the plan, so there was no way the computer was giving him up.

Plan B involved a date.

This went horribly wrong from the beginning when Tony somehow misplaced the message James had sent him from "Steve," culminating in Tony not showing up at the date at all because he was too engrossed in his work. Luckily Steve hadn't felt slighted, as he was distracted by a robbery that he put a stop to.

In retrospect, James should probably have done something other than send Tony a message on paper.

Plan C involved mistletoe, but James realized he hadn't thought it through when he was caught under it with Steve. Kissing the guy who was like his brother was just wrong, and thankfully Steve felt the same way so all they had to do was kiss each other's cheeks. Then Thor was next with Steve, and James really needed brain bleach for the ensuing scene

But now he was on Plan D, and this was going to work. He knew it was.

Pushing the two together into romantic situations hadn't really worked, so James was going to do it in style. And he had the best romance books of the century to help him out. Though he definitely wasn't going to sneak into either of their rooms and watch them sleep. That was just creepy.

He started with post-it notes for Tony, carefully mimicking Steve's handwriting and leaving them plastered all over the workshop. He kept the notes short and sweet, only writing exactly what he knew Steve was thinking.

I love your eyes.

Your hands are so clever.

Your smile is gorgeous.

You drink too much coffee. I wish you'd take better care of yourself.

And so on.

Doing Tony was trickier, but not by much because JARVIS totally agreed to send Steve notes the way Tony would. And since JARVIS knew Tony best, he also knew what kind of notes Tony would be most likely to write.

There was no way this plan could fail. It was perfect.

Admittedly, it took a little longer than James wanted. He was tired of having them pine around each other. There were also more blushes on both their parts. James was an assassin who knew the value of patience, but he didn't feel like being patient for this.

He'd been patient long enough, really.

Thankfully, it took only a week before Tony cracked, asking Steve out for dinner. James had to refrain from doing a triumphant fist pump, though the look Natasha shot him told him he wasn't being very subtle.

Screw that. He didn't need subtlety anymore. He'd succeeded.

All that remained was spying on them to see that it really was going smoothly.

The kiss that he saw the two share after their date was over told him all he needed to know.

It was another successful mission, albeit one of a extremely personal nature. Unlike the last one he'd taken, no one got killed during it, and Steve was happy.

It filled James with a rather warm glow that he was only just beginning to reacquaint himself with. It was something akin to happiness, and it was something he was familiar with when it came to Steve.

He wouldn't ever regret finally getting Steve and Tony together, even if he did occasionally run into the two necking. There were some things no man needed to know about his best friend, including the way he looked with hickeys and a dopey smile.