Chapter Fifty-One: A Strange Understanding
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"Hey… hey wait up… holy shit, I need to stop smoking. Why did I agree to this bullshit…?"
Chloe looked ahead of her to see that Rachel was still laser focused on the trail ahead of them. Unlike Chloe she hadn't indulged in the drinking Victoria and she had the night before. Perhaps this was all part of the plan. Wake her up at 6 in the morning and causally announce that they were going to spend the day together. Chloe would have been fine with it if that time together involved them at a greasy spoon not dissimilar to that of the Two Whales and then a day loafing at the beach. It was why she agreed.
Instead, she found herself biking up the East Tiger Mountain on bikes provided by Ryan and Vanessa Caulfield. How Rachel got them, she did not know. Considering Rachel's frosty relationship with the Caulfield's, she suspected it was Max's doing. If it was then Max and she were totally not friends anymore for helping Rachel subject her to this fitness bullshit.
…nah…
As she woke up during the ride out of Seattle, Chloe found herself looking forward to the time that she would get to share with Rachel. As much as she loved her time with Max, she did need some time alone with Rachel. Rachel seemed to be growing more and more restless; and it was not the restlessness which she usually was back in Arcadia Bay.
Rachel seemed… off. Aloof and distant would be an understatement. There were moments when Rachel was a ghost, silent as she passively observed the Seattle life they were both settling into for the rest of the summer; and it all started the first day Chloe and Max spent together solo. It only got worse the more the two hung out. Whatever that was going on, she did not know and was not going to rock the boat by asking Max and Rachel.
She did toy with inching in and asking Victoria if she noticed anything, but then she remembered it was Victoria. Bitch would probably go running to Max and try to undercover snipe the blooming rekindling of her friendship with Max for her own benefit. It was just how that Slytherin operated.
Slytherin… Goddammit he should not have let Max convince her to watch that Potter marathon… hella lame. Totally lame, she was waaaay too cool to do that.
As she stood up to keep pushing the bike pedals up the steepening embank, Chloe looked ahead and saw Rachel remained unchanged in her determination. So Chloe renewed her efforts pushed herself as well. They had to be nearing the peak of the range by now. This was bullshit; there was a reason why she never went to fucking gym class!
As the two of them made it up the final stretch, Chloe watched as Rachel all but threw herself off her bike with grace as she nearly storm walked herself away towards the vista.
"Hurry up, Price!" Rachel called out to Chloe without looking back at her girlfriend.
Stunned by her girlfriend's behaviour, Chloe nonetheless obliged her and sped up, even if her legs were starting to cramp up. Pushing herself no further than Rachel's bike, Chloe came to a stop and much more carefully climbed off of the bike. She lacked the grace Rachel had in mobility and had the hang up of not wanting to scuff up the Caulfield's loaner.
At near half a snail's pace, Chloe stepped forward towards Rachel. She had relaxed a little and was sitting cross legged on a park bench carved from a tree. It overlooked the valley below. She did not acknowledge the approaching Chloe until she was sitting next to her. Rachel looked grim faced and just stressed right out.
Hesitating for a moment, Chloe reached out and took Rachel's hand. Rachel did not respond; at least not at first. Rachel squeezed back, her finger gripping against Chloe's.
"I haven't seen you worked up like this in a hella long time, Rachel," Chloe broke the silence between the two of them. "Are you going to tell me what's going on, or am I going to have to keep pretending that everything is fine?"
Rachel emitted a small pout, but at least she permitted herself to relax a little as she leaned in to slump against Chloe. In spite of her growing worry for Rachel, Chloe still smiled. All this time together and even the littlest things washed away her fears. Yet, she could not find any comfort in it; she had to get to the bottom of this. It had been eating away at her for far too long now.
"Yeah, sorry…" Rachel sighed as she tilted her head to look up at Chloe. "I guess I needed to get out of Seattle for a bit. I needed to have you all to myself, Price. What can I say? I'm feeling kind of possessive today…"
There was a small hint of humour inflected into Rachel's strained and tired voice. Feeling a little at ease with hearing that, Chloe reached out and wrapped her arm around Rachel's shoulder. Although she did not melt into her as was usually the case, Rachel did respond by holding Chloe's draped arm tightly against her. Chloe felt Rachel's fingers gripping into flesh tighter than what Chloe usually constituted as possessive.
She seemed to be afraid. Of what, Chloe did not know for sure.
"Well… you got it," Chloe reassured Rachel, hoping it would at least bring some peace of mind. "Was Seattle all that it cracks up to be? It's no Los Angeles, but it's good practice I suppose."
"Yes, and no," Rachel answered as she gazed off to the vista before them. There was a growing frustration colouring her words. "Fuck… I don't know. When I insisted that we head to Seattle, I was well aware that I would be giving up a lot of time with you to Max if the two of you were to make amends. I thought I prepared for it. But I guess it's harder than I thought it be…"
Chloe nodded. She might have been dense at times, but she was not blind to what was right in front of her. Sometimes it just took Rachel saying what was on her mind. In recent weeks, it felt like Rachel did not trust her with what was on her mind. She might say otherwise, but it was obvious she was holding things back. Years of unapologetic honesty promised to one another had an effect on each other. So for her to hold back now…
Chloe bit back the urge to judge or say anything too controversial. As much as she wanted to, this was something not to force out of Rachel involuntarily.
So she did just that: she bit her tongue and for the first time in her brash life, carefully selected her words in a way Rachel did to people she wanted information from. With any luck, Rachel would be too wrapped up in whatever it was that troubled her.
God… the idea of manipulating her own girlfriend… She didn't even know if it would work.
"I appreciate it, Rachel. I really do," Chloe reassured Rachel, gripping her a little tighter.
Her thoughts drifted off unconsciously to Max. Just the idea of Max being back in her life… it was just so unbelievable that she was back with Max, even weeks on into the reunion. It was light and breezy still between Max and her. They had not touched upon their silence even now. Frankly she was not sure if she was ready for that conversation.
"It's been so wonderful to have Max back in my life," she confessed to Rachel with a small smile crossing over lips. "I thought I was going to be mad, or hate her… or at the very least resent her. Yet I don't. I'm annoyed she couldn't be bothered to fucking call or anything, but… I think we could work through that."
Chloe looked at Rachel who was looking up at her curiously. There was a foreign looking expression on Rachel's face. Like there was something that she had said to incite her. It was very… similar to something a particularly awful blonde bitch with a bad haircut gave her whenever they had the unfortunate luck of crossing paths with.
And here it was. That awful look being worn by the woman she adored… the woman she loved.
"What about you?" Chloe redirected as she smiled for Rachel, hoping beyond hope that she could break the tension radiating from her. "The two of you seem to be getting pretty chummy. Kind of a strange mismatch, but then again it makes sense: the photographer and my model girlfriend chilling together."
The Victoria-esque expression faded from Rachel's mouth. She nibbled her lip and carefully examined Chloe for a moment. She seemed to be considering just how she wanted to word her opinion of Max. Chloe knew that the two of them got alone, but she also knew Rachel. She knew that Rachel was not going to cut a connection unless Max had been a total asshole.
"From everything you told me about her, I thought she was going to be some awkward stuck up mess… but… she's not," Rachel admitted to her, a wistful tone colouring his words. "Oh, she's hella awkward, no doubt, but I don't mind it at all. I like Max, she's becoming a true friend and I haven't had a lot of them in my life."
Rachel looked away as she shuffled closer against Chloe.
"I don't know. I guess I've been thinking a lot about Mom lately," she admitted after a moment, her eyes falling to her lap.
So that was what this was. She should have suspected it, but with Rachel, she could never confirm that Rose was on her mind until the last possible moment, when everything for Rachel was just too much for her to handle anymore. Even after all these years, it was hard to get her talking about these matters.
Then again, Chloe had been no different after Dad died. She supposed that she got to experience what it was like being Joyce in the midst of her own moody outbursts. It was not pleasant to say the least when Rachel lashed out. It was not so much explosive as it once was: It was smoldering, and questions left Chloe confused and Rachel without the answers she sought.
Next to her, Rachel softened her expression as she seemed to notice that Chloe was confused. It was rare for that to happen when she was thinking about her family. She emitted a thin smile.
"Not how she died, how she lived," Rachel elaborated as she shifted herself to face Chloe properly. "My Dad fell head over heels for Sera. It was true love, then they broke up, and Mom came in and picked up the pieces, helped heal his broken heart, right? Then what happens? Sera came back into their lives, and Dad swore up and down that nothing was different, that Sera and he were over even if he did kiss her…"
Of all the people in her life, the last person she ever suspected to have these sorts of self-esteem issues was Rachel fucking Amber; especially over Max Caulfield of all people. Why would she ever think that there was a spark between Max and her that led her to be the James of a Rose and Sera triangle the formed for that unfortunately brief time before it was destroyed.
As she stared into Rachel's eyes, she knew that perhaps there was some… truth to that.
"But Mom…" Rachel spoke on tenderly. "Mom, she just… she let it slide and then she let Sera into our lives knowing full well she would be risking my alienation and rejection in favour of my birth mom; but she didn't let it control her. She was strong and secure and I don't get how that could happen, or how to be anything like her. If I were ever placed into a position like that, I don't know what I would do… competing with someone who seemed like she was destined to be the person someone you love, loved."
Rachel pulled away and stood up. Chloe was about to follow her, but one dead eyed glare from Rachel stopped her cold. Rachel needed to rant. Whatever this was… all that Chloe could do was let Rachel defuse herself. If she were to interfere nothing but bad shut would happen. This was not Chloe's first time stuck in a situation like this, but this felt different than the other times Rachel needed to defuse. This felt… final and ominous.
"I don't know. Fuck, I don't even know if I'm making sense anymore, I'm so fucking scatter-brained lately I don't know what I'm doing these days," she muttered as she turned away from Chloe to look at the vista before her. "I guess she died before Sera really had to step up. Maybe Sera only did step up because Mom died. We'll never know… Perhaps there was some-"
"Rose would still be your mother no matter what happened, Rachel so stop talking like that," Chloe cut Rachel off before Rachel could continue her unhealthy musing. "Rose wanted you for a daughter. She knew she loved you the moment you two met; and Sera… Sera got clean and dedicated herself to finding you, so she could have a place in your life. There is nothing fake about Sera's stepping up. Maybe it was a little rushed, but given the circumstances could you blame her? If Rose lived, nothing would have changed."
More often than not, whenever Rachel and Chloe broached the topics of Rose and Sera and everything that happened all those years ago, Rachel inevitably and justifiably ended up miserable about it. This time was something entirely different. She seemed… amused; amused and somewhat forlorn.
Rachel reached out and took Chloe's hands. She stood there, looking down on Chloe with a strange acceptance in her eyes.
"I know that, Chloe," Rachel confirmed as she laced her fingers in between Chloe's. "I know that I am Rose's daughter because I know that you love her, Chloe Price. I know and I still love you in spite of it."
Deep inside her body, Chloe felt her heart lurch to a near standstill as just what was on Rachel's mind these past few days finally came to the surface. This was not about Rose and Sera; this was about something entirely different. A matter which she thought Rachel never would bring up.
Max Caulfield. She thought… she though Max and her…
How could she even think that there was something going on with Max and her? They were just friends. That was it. There were absolutely no romantic feelings for Max, and even if there might have been. Even in that slightest of chances, the fact of the matter was Max was hanging off Victoria Chase like she was the second coming. No, it was utterly impossible.
So why was it so hard to shake the feeling that there might have been a sliver of truth in Rachel's observations?
"Don't say anything, you don't have to defend yourself from observations, it will just look silly," Rachel silenced Chloe before she could even begin to defend herself. "Chloe, I trust you… totally. But I see it in your eyes, I see it in your smile whenever she enters a room, I can see the jealousy whenever Victoria Chase is near; and it is reciprocated by you whenever Victoria is sniffing around Max. I thought it was just a best friend's connection, but there is more to it."
Chloe's brain had now officially broken down in the face of Rachel's observations. That was the only way which she would be able to describe it. Rachel seemed unmoved in spite of her quiet accusation that Chloe was head over heels for Max Caulfield. Why would Rachel make that sort of connection? Max and her… they were just old friends. Old friends with a long, intimate history together cut short by death, employment opportunities' and a terrible inability to socially function on Max's part.
Then again, she was not much better as Rachel had to delicately point out. Not that Chloe could ever admit a fault on her part to Max or anyone else.
"I'm not mad, Price and you don't need to tell me how you feel until you've had time to really think over what I said," Rachel reassured her, her lips curled slightly as she looked down at her girlfriend. "I just… I guess I suspected it for quite a while now. If there is one thing I have learned since seeing how Rose, Dad and Sera works, it's that love is not as simple a feeling as it ought to be. There are layers and complication…"
Rachel tailed off as she swallowed and silently, she took a seat on Chloe's lap, her arms reaching out to wrap around Chloe's neck. She leaned forward, her chest pushing against Chloe's as she rested her head on her shoulder.
"I think that… Well, in another set of circumstances, Max and you would be together. I wouldn't be upset either, I guess. It… makes sense."
Unsure of how to react to her girlfriend seemingly condoning something she felt incapable of stopping, Chloe could only laugh incredulously at Rachel's melodramatic mourning tone. It was all so ridiculous, really. Did Rachel actually think that she was going to get dropped in favour of someone Chloe was only now getting reacquainted with? Did she think a relationship could be sustained on a childhood of memories?
"Well… what about you?" Chloe decided to humour her, hoping her light tone would be enough for Rachel to see just how weird she was acting. "Where would you be in all of this?"
Silence greeted Chloe at first. She could feel Rachel stiffen up in her arms.
"I don't know where I would be," Rachel murmured into her arm. Her voice was quivering gently. "I imagine somewhere far off. Perhaps somewhere warm. Wherever I may be, I would be happy for your happiness with her. I… would approve of it, whatever may happen…"
Chloe's growing frustration had reached its boiling point. This whole topic was weird and fucking ominous and uncomfortable. It was filled with unspoken accusations that Chloe was going to fuck Max behind Rachel's back or something. It was bullshit; all of this was fucking bullshit. She didn't fucking cheat. She was a lot of things and most of them were not good qualities, but she would never fuck over someone she loved like that.
Chloe reached back and forced back Rachel's vice grip around her neck. She held Rachel back, so that she stared right into those deep, intense hazel eyes gazing unblinkingly back at her. They were eyes accusing her of feelings which she did not have… she could not have.
Right?
"Whatever…. Whatever it is you think that I feel about Max… you're wrong," Chloe replied, keeping her tone in check and her words deliberate so Rachel did not eschew her words. "Max and I are just friends and we'll always be just that: friends. I care about Max, Rachel. I really do. But I love you, and I think I did the moment we first met. If you're uncomfortable with Max and me, then... you know... fuck it, we'll fuck off out of Seattle together-"
Rachel lazily placed her hand over Chloe's mouth. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against Chloe's forehead. A lot of the strange tension had vanished. Replacing it was this amusement Chloe could not tell if it was real or not.
"I'm not jealous, Chloe Price, I know you'll not act on it. I trust you both utterly. I'm just… clearing the air so that we're all on the same page," Rachel answered her as she pulled back her hand. "Victoria's no fool, either. She knows there's something a little stronger than just a friendship…"
Rachel paused herself and smiled in spite of everything.
"Max, on the other hand, is endearingly innocent and naïve to a fault," Rachel mused aloud. "I think its best we not agitate her with this… for now at least."
As Rachel leaned inwards to kiss Chloe deeply, all these new concepts left Chloe dazed and not sure what all of this was; but after years of loving Rachel Amber, all she could really do was to wait it out and let it unfold. There was nothing much more to do then that. Even if the wait left her with all sorts of new ideas she scarcely wanted to acknowledge.
Max Caulfield and her actually together… yeah… sure… that would happen; and time travel was real as well…
...
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Sorry this took so long. I've been sick for the better part of a month, snowed in and other drama. That and this chapter was spur of the moment. I had other plans in place but felt the Amberprice was lacking. It still kind of is. Not too pleased with this chapter. It should get better in the coming chapters. Next up is a return back to Arcadia Bay with my low key favorite girl (maybe not low key)
I hope you enjoyed, and thanks for the patience.
