A/N: One day late, but that's better than a week late. Of course this is one of my favorite chapters but also was really hard to write the first time and hard to rewrite the second time so... wheee. Enjoy!

Chapter 52: The Ashes of the Past

Envy led me to a room, nearly identical to the one that had imprisoned Al and I. Envy contentedly took a seat on the chair by the desk and leaned forward, fixing me with a hard stare

"So, this murder spree of yours…"

Cutting right to the chase, huh?

"Why do I have to go first?" I muttered.

"I'm going to go out on a limb and say your story is less complicated than mine," he said. "It's a revenge tale after all. Those aren't new."

"Well if its so boring maybe I don't need to tell you."

Envy's mouth quirked. "The story is old, but I'll admit, twelve year old girls don't usually feature in them. Except as victims."

"Valid point," I admitted, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I... well I guess it wasn't that unusual situation for way out East. Mercenaries make their living there." The words stuck in my throat at first but as I continued, they rolled easier off my tongue. "I was twelve, like you said. I had parents and a little brother. His name was Timmy." I rubbed a hand through my hair. "It really was a good life until that night. I had good friends even though I was the weird alchemy freak. I don't think about it much anymore because, quite frankly, I miss it. But I can't go back.

"Anyway, that night, four mercenaries came into the house. There was a fifth that waited outside. I was upstairs with my brother, practicing alchemy when I heard the shouting. They wanted valuables but they weren't in to negotiating. They cut my parents throats before Timmy and I even made the bottom of the stairs. And before I could take in everything around me, they shot him in the chest." Now the words started to stick again. It was a lot to take in at once. It all felt like some cruel nightmare. Just a nightmare. Just a trick. It had to be."

"They turned on me of course. Didn't shoot me right off which was their mistake. They were taunting me, waving their weapons in my face. But I had this… hunk of scrap metal in my hand. I'd been experimenting with energy alchemy and metal. There was still some energy inside. And in that moment my only thought was… kill them. Make them suffer. Make them hurt like you're hurting." It was almost cathartic talking about this in front of Envy. Envy who had killed plenty of people. Envy who was a monster. Talking to Ed and Al I felt guilty but with Envy… no way he could judge me.

"I activated on the transmutation circle. The man closest to me, the one who had shot Timmy, went down screaming. It wasn't enough to kill him but I finished the job myself. The piece of metal was pretty sharp on one edge." I traced my finger along the side of the bed. "The rest of the man ran. They were terrified. But I followed them out in time to catch sight of the license plate. I memorized it. I still have it memorized actually." I tapped my forehead. "After that I burned down the house and left. I wanted everyone to think I was dead. I didn't want anyone to stop me when I had a job to do."

"I tracked the mercenaries down by listening to rumors and following the blood trail they usually left. It took a really long time, but I remembered all of their faces. Each time I killed them it felt worth it. Revenge kept me going through all of my shock through all of my grief at losing my family."

"But the last guy…" my voice grew hoarse. "I eventually found him. Took me awhile because he was the one driving the car. I never got a good look at his face. But it was his car. I found it at his house." I stared very intently at the ground, forcing every word now. "I killed him in front of his family. They saw him drop. And with my last kill everything that had been keeping me going just left me. I was so empty and so terrified of myself and what I was capable of. Maybe I'm not a monster by your standards but I was by there's. I was a monster to them. And one to myself.

There was a long pause before I could continue. "So I ran. I got away. I spent a year or so in a sub conscious haze of depression, hating myself. I almost killed myself twice but I couldn't go through with it. I finally came around and started learning alchemy again. But I swore I would never risk killing anyone again. I didn't want to bring that side of myself out." I sighed. "So I can't kill. That's how it goes."

All this time Envy had watched, unmoving, his expression blank. When I finally went quiet, he stared at me a very long time before he said, "No wonder the mercenaries were terrified of you." He leaned back in the chair. "For a twelve year old, that level of dedication was impressive. Though I'm surprised you didn't pull the ultimate idiotic move and try human transmutation."

"As if I was good enough to try that," I said. "I read that no one had ever succeeded. Why would I be any different? I was a kid."

Envy smirked. "Well, at least you know that. Most alchemists are too stupid to recognize it. And they create monsters too. Just not from themselves." He gestured to himself. "Probably worse monsters in the long run."

"I'm not so sure," I said softly. "So is your story still more complicated than mine?"

"By a long shot, kid." He sighed. "Guess I can't get away with not telling you."

"Not unless you want to get punched a lot."

"Not that the bruise would last." Envy mused. Then he relented. "Alright, fine. In context this was about 120 years ago. This was before we had Pride at the head of the military so our sources were low. We had Gluttony, the old Lust, and... Greed. He still followed our master." His face darkened but he continued. "I guess you could say we were shorthanded, but Dante still had a shard of the philosopher's stone well-kept so our search for an alchemist to make one wasn't pertinent."

"The... person you remind me of... Kristen." His voice was heavy with the weight of her name. "She was the daughter of a man high up in the military, with high influence over the military's action. But she didn't seem to like him... actually she went against the military flat out to spite him."

"Dante wanted more control over the military. As she saw it, they were the best gatherers of human souls. So she decided to experiment with taking a hostage for control. She was chosen as the target. It wasn't really hard. She seemed to have a habit of walking alone in dark alley ways." Envy cast me a glance, smirking. "Sound like anyone you know?"

"Nope not a bit," I said evenly. "Continue."

He rolled his eyes. "So, I kidnapped her. The funny thing was, after she found out why... well she didn't really mind. She was given a lot of free reign around the place because she didn't try to escape. And she didn't care about our souls or what we were or anything like that. In fact she enjoyed that this put her father in a poor position. Her father bowed to our will easily and started pushing for tactical decisions that would push the country in our favor.

"The old Lust enjoyed Kristen's company. Gluttony stopped asking to eat her after awhile. And I started to like her myself. She was..." he glanced at me. "Well... a lot like you in more ways than one. Impulsive, annoying, spiteful. In a unique sort of way none of us were used to." He leaned back in his chair. "Dante warned all of us not to get attached to her. But for once I don't think any of us listened.

"Then Greed snapped and broke away from us. He was constantly pushing the edges so it didn't come as much of a surprise to anyone. But Dante wanted him sealed away so that he couldn't hinder us in the future. She gave me that job and I was glad to do it. I always hated Greed and I was looking forward to a chance to kick his ass. But..." Envy broke off for a minute before continuing, a touch of nostalgic hatred in his voice.

"While we were fighting Kristen came to stop us. She had always got along with Greed but I don't know how she got out of the city or how she found us. She told us to stop. We didn't listen because we both hated each other. We kept fighting and suddenly she... just ran in between us." He was glaring at the ground. "And I stabbed her."

My hand went automatically up to cover my open mouth. Oh my God. I remembered Greed telling me about this girl. The one I reminded him of. The one Envy killed. But it was never out of hatred. It wasn't a job. It was an accident, and a cruel one at that.

"And you… really cared about her, didn't you?" I murmured.

Envy shrugged. "I can't deny that. I've killed a lot of people. I'm not a big fan of humans. She might've been the only one I didn't want to die and yet I still killed her."

"No wonder things are tense between you and Greed," I murmured. "I mean, I think he liked her too."

"Probably," Envy said. "I never discussed it with him."

"And the other Lust?" I asked. "What happened to her?"

"The same thing that happened to the one you knew," Envy said. "She sought after what she was, she broke away, she died."

"Its too bad," I said. "The last time I saw Lust she was letting me go in Lior. I thought I'd see her again. I really did."

"Since when did you ever care about Lust?" Envy asked looking genuinely curious.

"She helped me escape once. After you uh… kissed me," I murmured. "She said she did it for you, not me, but I appreciated her. I was just starting to understand her." I cocked my head to the side. "How did she find out about Kristen?"

"How else? I told her." Envy shrugged. "We worked together enough, it was bound to slip out eventually... and I knew she would go her own path eventually. She did seem attached to the few memories she had of her creator."

"Not so strange," I said. "That homunculi would be attached to their creators I mean. You've stuck with serving Dante for four hundred years."

Envy gave a short, bitter laugh. "Yes, I have. But not for the reason you think. When I was human she was my mother."

I couldn't help it, my jaw dropped "She was your what?"

"Yes," Envy nodded, not at all phased. "But she wasn't my creator. My father created me." His expression grew very dark. "I follow Dante because she's my best chance of seeing him again. Seeing him so I can kill him."

"Why do you hate him so much?" I asked.

"Let's think." Envy said tightly. "I died from mercury poisoning because of being exposed to his experiments, he turned me into this and then he abandoned me. To start fresh and new, not caring about what he did."

"Lot of the people I know don't seem to like their dads," I observed. "Ed hates his father for similar reasons, minus the homunculus part." I said absently. "Never would mention him, snapped when it came up. Says he just abandon them. And when he saw him again in Risenbol he punched him in the face with his metal hand."

"You've seen Hoenhiem?" Envy eyes got this odd, half crazed light in them.

"Yeah, a few weeks ago—" I stopped suddenly. "Envy... when did I say his name was Hoenhiem?"

"Well" Envy had a strange smile on his face. "I know from experience... Hoenhiem of Light certainly seems to have a trend of abandoning his sons."

I could swear time stopped for a moment as my head whirled. His sons? From experience. My eyes widened. I opened my mouth several time before I managed to squeak out. "You're Hoenhiem's son? But that means…" I almost choked on the next words. "You're Ed and Al's... half-brother."

Envy closed his eyes "Bingo."

I stood abruptly, having no idea what to do. How? How could Ed and Al possibly have a homunculus half-brother? They had no idea. No idea. "H-how... why didn't... how can you be..."

Suddenly, I remembered Hoenhiem's words to me that night back in Risenbol "Abandonment has a strange effect on children... Some never forget it."

"Oh god you are." I leaned back against the wall, cupping a hand over my mouth.

Envy stood and moved toward me. "Don't hyperventilate, Liz, its really not worth it."

"I'm not. I'm calm. I'm fine."

"Yes, I can clearly see." He took my wrist and eased my hand away from my face. "Who created me isn't important right now. Besides, he's gone. I'll never get my chance at revenge."

"Have you not been listening to me? Revenge is stupid." I glared at him.

"Well, fortunately I'm already a monster so it can't possibly affect me that much more." Envy shrugged.

"Oh stop calling yourself that," I muttered. "If I can't call myself a monster, neither can you. Especially not as an excuse." I stared hard into his eyes. "From what I've learned about homunculi all of you are still human in some capacity. You can't change that. You still have human desires. I don't care about whether or not you have a soul. Its not like you chose that anyway." I looked down. "You didn't choose this, really. So it doesn't make you a monster. You can knock me out if you want but its true."

Envy stared at me for a long moment before sighing and shaking his head. "You think I'm going to knock you out." Envy slipped a finger under my chin and tilted my head up. "You really are an idiot, kid."

Then he closed the distance between us. For a moment, I froze at the sensation of his lips on mine. But then, much to my surprise, my shoulders relaxed and my heart fluttered. And I started kissing him back. When he wasn't blindsiding me with a kiss, I found I actually liked it. And maybe this whole scenario was just screwing with my head but I swear I felt Envy smile against my lips. Not a smirk. An honest to god smile.

...Can he even do that?

Our lips parted after a long moment. "I think that went better than last time," Envy murmured.

I choked out a half crazy laugh and Envy cocked his head to the side. "What?"

"Nothing," I giggled, running an arm along my shaking shoulder. "Its just…You've got to admit this is a little fucked up."

Envy raised an eyebrow. "And?"

"And nothing. I'm used to it at this point." I kissed him again before he could reply.

This whole situation was surreal. Surreal and terrifying and so many levels of wrong. But at the same time, with a thousand things going wrong around me…

It was nice to have one thing be kind of… okay.


A/N: And there you have it. All of the EnvyxLiz goodness. Hope you enjoyed, review to let me know! Have a happy July 4th :)