Hawke
I felt like a failure as we made our way through the city. People ran around frantic and scared. I couldn't bare to look anyone in the eye. I wanted to collapse from weariness, both mental and physical, but we had to keep going. We could rest on the ship.
I felt relief when I saw my house still safe and secure. The Wardens were gathered around the front. I didn't see Zevran's men, but I had little doubt they were around.
"Champion, it is good to see you alive." Stroud said as we moved towards him.
"Thank you for keeping watch on my home." I said moving to shake his hand.
"We Wardens like to look out for our allies. And we know that you have been helpful often to us Wardens. If you are finished, we will take our leave. We need to get out of the city as soon as possible."
"Good luck on your mission." I nodded to him and gave Nate a quick hug. "Thank you for helping me."
"I seem to be drawn to helping unavailable women." He said and turned to shake Fenris' hand. Take care of her." Fenris nodded to him and then motioned me to enter the house.
"My men and I will await you out here, Hawke." Zevran said nodding as he disappeared into the shadows.
"We'll be quick." I promised.
"Thank goodness it's you! We've been so worried. I take it from the noise outside, we're going to be leaving sooner than we thought?" Bohdan asked as we moved into the house.
"I'm afraid so. Seems I've worn out my welcome."
"Then it is their loss. We'll have everything finished in two shakes, Mistress. Go on and get your baby." He said and shooed us on.
"I'll sweep the house." Fenris said and started up the stairs. I hurried down to the basement and gave the knock.
"Mistress?" Orana called.
"It's me, Orana. We have to hurry. We're leaving now." I said and waited for her to open all the locks. She pulled the door back and watched me with her fearful eyes.
"We're leaving now? Has something happened?"
"A lot." I sighed. "It's a long story. We can talk about it on the ship. You still want to go with us, right?"
"Yes, Mistress. I want to stay with you and Master. I'll take good care of your new home in Ferelden." She nodded and handed me Lea.
"Well, little one, it looks like you're all ready to go, huh?" I kissed her cheek, happy for this bit of goodness after all the horrors we had seen and done. Orana gathered the things we were taking with us and I headed for the stairs. I walked through the empty rooms one last time. This had been home for a long time now.
"Are you going to miss it?" Fenris asked coming up behind me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me back against him. Lea reached over my shoulder for him. He placed a kiss on my temple and then took her from me.
"Yes. More than I thought possible. So much has happened here. But I'm taking the most important parts with me." I smiled at him.
"Everything and everyone is ready. There has been no sign of Sebastian. We should leave now while we can."
"I agree."
He caught my hand as I looked back again. "We will build a new home, Lila."
I smiled at him and really meant this one. "I look forward to it."
We made it all the way to the Siren's Call 2 before we ran into trouble. I tightened my hold on Lea and cringed back as Sebastian and a lot of guards stepped out and blocked our way. Fenris shifted in front of me as did Zevran.
Sebastian pulled his eyes off of us and frowned at Zevran. "I'm going to assume that you being with my bride and daughter is to bring her to me, not to take them away from me."
Zevran laughed. "You know what they say about people who assume, right?"
"You have betrayed me then. I should have known I couldn't trust you. It matters not. Surrender to me, Hawke, and no one has to be hurt."
"Come any closer, my friend, and you will be hurt." Zevran warned him. Shadows shifted and men could be seen all around, arrows drawn and pointed at Sebastian. Sebastian glanced at them.
"You can't do this to me, Hawke. The Maker has given you to me. Don't leave me like this. I can forgive you for allowing the abomination to live. I should have known you wouldn't be able to do as was necessary. I know he's on the ship. Come with me, and I'll let him go. For now." Sebastian said calmly.
"Sebastian, you have to see the truth of it. A demon was the one giving the dreams. The Maker didn't do this to us. And the Maker wouldn't want anymore bloodshed. You have to let us go, Sebastian."
"I can't do that." He said and his eyes were pleading with me. My heart broke as I looked at him. He was struggling with all of this as well. I could see it then. Why he refused to believe it was a demon. If he did, then he had hurt me. He would be the monster we accused him of being.
"Sebastian, please." I said and handed Lea off to Orana. I moved closer to him. Fenris tried to stop me, but I waved my hand at him. "We were friends once. We cared about each other."
"I love you, Hawke. I don't want to hurt you." He said moving closer.
"Then let me go."
"Hawke, please." He begged.
"Let me go, Sebastian. Don't become that other person. Find yourself again. Don't let hate and anger and fear take who you are. Let us go."
"Hawke…"
"If you ever cared about us, you will let us get on that ship and leave." I pressed.
"I do care about you."
"Then let us leave."
"I just want to take care of you."
"Too much has happened, Sebastian." I shook my head as he reached out his hand to me.
He looked broken and it was all I could do not to comfort him. Despite everything he had thought he was doing what was right. It was horrible the things he had done, but he hadn't been in his right mind when he had done it. He was a victim in this as well. If I could see that about Elthina, I had to about him as well. It hurt less to think of him doing the things he had done to me because he cared.
"I don't want to fight with you. Let them leave." He said to his men. The men all moved back allowing us room to get by. I motioned for Zevran and his men to go. Fenris refused to go, but motioned Zevran to take Lea and Orana onto the ship. He moved to stand beside me.
"Thank you, Sebastian." I said and clasped Fenris' hand.
"I will find you." He vowed.
"You come near them and I swear…" Fenris started, but I squeezed his hand.
"Find yourself first, Sebastian. Maker guide you to the truth." I said and pushed Fenris towards the ship.
"Maker protect you until you are back with me." Sebastian called.
Fenris started to turn around, but I pushed him. "Don't. He's letting us leave. That's all that matters right now."
"He won't give up, Lila." Fenris said angrily. I glanced back at Sebastian.
"Maybe. Maybe not. Enough have died today. I just want to leave it all behind us."
"You're going to forgive him, aren't you?" He asked angrily.
"I have to, Fenris. I can't hold onto the anger and hurt either. I won't let anyone strip anymore of me away."
"What he did to you is unforgivable!" He snapped.
"Fenris, I don't want to fight about this. I've had all the fighting I can take." I said and rubbed my head wearily.
"Lila, you have to see reason about him. If you give him an inch, he's going to take it."
"Fenris, he's trying to keep believing it was the Maker so he's not a monster. He's going to have to live with what he did to me. He's going to have to live without getting to see Lea grow up. He's being punished enough. I don't want anyone else to die. Not because of me. Please." I begged and wrapped my arms around him.
He sighed angrily and then wrapped his around me. "I just can't stand the thought of losing you."
"You're not going to lose me, silly. I do believe you're stuck with me now." I smiled at him as he tugged me closer.
"I think I can live with that."
I laid my head against his chest as the rest of the crew and our friends settled the ship around us. Orana had taken Lea and Bandit down to the room Isabela had given us. Anders was below decks as well. I still needed to yell at him, but it could wait. Varric was leaned against the mast writing as fast as he was able. Merrill was following Isabela around asking a million questions.
"Have room for two more?" Aveline asked as she and Donnic appeared at the dock.
"Aveline?" I asked pulling back from Fenris.
"Seems that we're going to Ferelden after all. Hope the king's offer is still good." Aveline said as they climbed onboard.
"Good timing, Big Girl. We were just about to set off." Isabela said as she moved by us.
"I'm sorry." I said as Aveline stopped beside us. She gave me a shrug and sad smile.
"I'd be too worried if you were too far. Besides how would we keep our niece?" She said and carried her pack towards the stairs. Donnic gave me a nod and followed after her.
Fenris hugged me tightly. "This isn't your fault." He whispered. I sighed and curled into him. It was, but there was no point in arguing with him about it.
We moved to the rails and watched Kirkwall as the ship slowly moved away from dock. I remembered all those years ago watching as it had grown closer. For better or worse, I was going home.
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Author's Note: I am working on my endings. I want to post them together so it may take a few days before I update again. Thanks for hanging in with me.
