i don't own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!

Chapter 44

BPV.

The doors opened and the march began. I looked around. The room looked like it was the inside of a very coordinated hostess snow globe. It was obvious even to the outsider that Alice chose to get married on Valentines day just so she could have that color scheme. There was a massive amount of pink, white, and red everywhere. The minute I touched the isle my eyes jumped to the best man. He looked up and after that point it seemed like we were the only two people on the face of the earth again. If I hadn't already been married to him I would of day dreamed about what that day would have been like. Instead I remembered the feelings from my wedding…with the exception of being scared out of my mind that Alice was going to kill me. The happiness and the joy that he chose me. That nothing mattered but who was waiting for you at the end of the isle. From the look on his face I could tell Edward was going through the same thing. I slightly touched my wedding band and we smiled at each other. The music then changed and the doors opened again. Alice and my father appeared. The look on her face told me that Alice was slightly buzzed though I don't know how. She must of snuck a nip some how. She was wearing her hot pink, rhinestone studded wedding dress. Coming down to her shoulder was a matching hot pink veil that was placed on her the minute we had gone into the hallway. Her hands were covered in hot pink gloves. The videographer and photographer both zoomed in on her and she began posing immediately. Charlie looked down turning beet red.

"I feel like I'm in a cup cake!" Emmett said looking around.

"excuse me…you feel like your in a cup cake…I have lace coming out of me…I feel like little bow peep!" Rosalie whispered heatedly.

"A hot little bow peep!" Emmett commented. I heard a throat clear. That was when I looked to see the new additions. They were the only four people standing there that I didn't know. The two girls were obviously out of Alice's textiles classes. Of course Alice would do that. One of the groomsmen looked infatuated with his opposite while I caught the other gawking Rosalie. Obviously both she and Emmett missed it. They would of freaked other wise. Jasper was too lost in Alice to see or hear any of the exchanges going on. I had a funny feeling that he dreamed about this day ever since he first laid eyes on Alice. The minister smiled at the happy couple once Alice joined us.

"about two months ago none of us here probably thought that this is where we would be. I know I thought I would be in Florida on some beach while my kids splashed in the water ( everyone snickered). This couple was only a little more then a month into their new relationship (Alice hissed " we were friends for years…this guy makes it sound like a shot gun wedding because I got knocked up or something like that!") . Yet here we are today…celebrating the union of Jasper and Alice." the minister started. Emmett coughed something that sounded eerily similar to "I could of did a better job!". Rosalie stepped on his foot.

"So before we go on…anyone with objections…speak now or forever hold your peace?" the minister asked. Everyone looked around.

" alright…who here presents this woman to this man to be his lawfully wedded wife?" The man asked.

" I do!" Charlie gruffed. A tear slid down his face and Alice gestured for the cameramen to take pictures. She then slid out her onion-napkin prop and lightly waived it in my face while pointing at the camera. Edward and I shook our heads but knowing that she wouldn't stop we appeased her. My eyes immediately stung. I was going to kill her later. Alice made periodic gestures indicating what pose she wanted everyone to do for the rest of the ceremony. She got so engrossed that the minister had to grunt to get her attention back to exchanging rings with Jasper. Right before they were declared husband and wife, Alice pointed to me, made a fake smile with her hands and made her final posing face. She then pointed to the isle. So that's what she wanted me to do!

Edward grabbed my arm the minute we walked back down the isle. The 50 pounds of confetti + the doves made it hard to see never mind walk around in 6 in high heels. Edward basically had to support the both of us down the isle. I would of surely broken my neck or something if it wasn't for him.

"hey Bella…we're sharing a middle and last name again!" Alice said in the same tone she used when she was five. If I hadn't known that Alice was in love with Jasper I would of sworn that she married him just for that purpose. Edward stared at her for a second.

"who would of thought…last year Jasper was sending me a song-o-gram, this year we're married…boy how life changes!" Alice said. We then made our way to the reception. After making the rounds Alice returned to the table thinking that Jasper was behind her. Instead the DJ had lent him a microphone and he was standing in the middle of the empty dance floor.

"Alice dear, I know that we agreed that the wedding was going to be our gift to each other this year for Valentines day but I got you something a little extra special. I need you to close your eyes though." Jasper said. Alice looked confused but did as told. Just then the doors burst open and Lady Gaga came in singing "Bad Romance" with an extra mic in her hand.

"Its no song-o-gram but I improvised!' Jasper said into his microphone.

"Shut up….SHUT THE FUCK UP…HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HER ROYAL HIGHNESS TO ATTEND MY WEDDING!" Alice screeched happily. I thought she was going to faint.
"Well it wasn't easy. I had to keep the decision out of my mind all the time. I just called Gaga this morning. Luckily she was in the area and she was ecstatic to come. She thought I was joking at first, said that last time she heard I hadn't even asked you out yet. So I broke the happy news and one thing lead to another!" Jasper said.

"awwww…jazzy…always thinking about me!" Alice cooed excitedly. Jasper smiled. We watched as Lady Gaga serenaded the couple with three songs before heading to a guest table with an empty seat.

"Alright, I can die and go to heaven now…my idol came to my wedding!" Alice sighed happily. Alice's month was made just off of that. Dinner was then served. Jasper and Alice made more rounds asking everyone if the food was good. The salmon was cooked to perfection…I couldn't of done it better my self. Just then a pea hit me in the face. Looking over we saw Emmett playing mini "baseball" with his carrots and peas.

"God Emmett, your in college…STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR FOOD!" Rosalie mumbled. Emmett immediately dropped his carrot "bat". Thank god Alice was in the middle of her "first couples' dance or she would have been pissed.

A little while later people started to venture out to the dance floor. Edward took my hand and lead me out. Rosalie took off towards the bathroom. As we finished one of the slow dances the disco ball that Alice had demanded we get came down from the ceiling. The entire crowd clapped and faster paced music started to play. Then a couple of things happened.

RPV

I had gone into the bathroom to touch up my makeup. With all the eating and drinking going on my lipstick had become non existent and I needed to reapply it. Entering the bathroom I could hear the sounds of someone getting sick. Somebody must of took advantage of the open bar! I shook my head…poor baby! As I was pulling out the bottle of lipstick from my purse a very young girl stumbled out of the stall. She looked barely of age. Leave it to Alice to have people develop alcohol poisoning at her wedding!

"I cantt belie eve it…everryones gettingg married…noot mee…Iii wont marry till im thiiirty!" The girl slurred before passing out. I dragged her out to a couch and told the staff about her. Then I headed back towards the reception. As I opened the door the song changed. "All The Single Ladies" blasted through the air. My eyes immediately darted towards the middle of the dance floor. There a group of twenty ,obviously single, girls were dancing with their skirts hiked up to their asses. In the middle of it all, making himself an Emmett sandwich, was my soon to be dead boyfriend. I snarled. That perverted, disgusting, jackass…how could he? After I let the stripper thing go-I could of gone hard core but I didn't- this is how he repays me! GRINDING WITH A BUNCH OF WHORES! That was it. Emmett was going to die! It was then I caught a pair of simmering brown eyes staring at me from across the room. A plan formulated in my mind. Hello tall, dark, and handsome! I started to lay my trap. The size twelve's that belonged to those eyes sauntered over, meaning that he read my signals well. Hook line and sinker!

"Well hello gorgeous!" The man said in a deep southern drawl as he was sauntering over. It turned out that he was one of the groomsmen. He stared right at my chest. This was so degrading but it had to be done.

"Well hello there your self!" I greeted back.

"So sweetie…do you have a name?" The man asked.

"Rosalie Hale…and yours?" I asked shaking his hand.

"My name's James!" The guy said.

"So…James…I happened to notice that your one of the groomsmen…how do you know the happy couple?" I asked.

"I'm friends with Jasper. We met in general psych. How about you darling?" he asked staring at me hungrily.

" I'm Jasper's cousin. I'm also very good friends with Alice!" I answered.

" must be some good genes in that family if they produced you!" James said.

"What a charming accent…where are you from?" I asked trying to change the subject off of me.

"I'm from Mississippi…born and raised! I even attended the university of Mississippi…I even interned in a partially opened insane asylum. Then I had the chance to come here, which I took, but I lost all of my credits. The guidance counselors screwed up, so I'm redoing my freshman year." James said.

"oh that's horrible…so your from Mississippi…what's it like?" I asked with fake interest.

"well I can tell you that no southern bell holds a candle to you honey!" James said with lust in his voice.

"what if I told you I had southern roots!" I whispered.

"Really!" James lit up like a Christmas tree. This guy was too easy!

"See up until my great grandpa…Emmett Cullen ( I laughed at the irony of that statement internally) my entire family lived in Alabama!" I said. At that point I turned towards the dance floor and caught Alice's eye who winked. Alice knew exactly what to do at this point.

BPV.

Edward and I were on the side of the dance floor watching everything go down. I couldn't believe that Emmett was so engrossed with dancing with those girls that Rose was seeking attention from other men.

"I knew this was going to happen!" Edward groaned shaking his head. Alice charged the group like the little dynamo she was. The group parted just like in the story of Moses.

"EMMETT…YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND…GET YOUR ASS AWAY FROM THESE GIRLS THIS INSTANT!" Alice roared grabbing Emmett by the ear and dragging him next to us.

"ouch Alice…why did you have to do that!" Emmett moaned rubbing his ear. Alice grunted and shifted her eyes in the direction of Rosalie. The way the guy was staring at her we could tell that he was visually undressing her. So disgusting! But Emmett didn't catch what Alice meant.

"Emmett…Rosalie!" Alice grunted louder and making the same motion.

"Rosalie what?" Emmett asked.

"with. The . Biggest. Player. In. Jaspers. General. Psych. Class….EMMETT YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S GETTING HIT ON YOU DOPE!" Alice roared pointing at Rose. The man was resting against the wall at this point and staring lustily at her chest. Seeing the forced flirtatious look on her face told me that this was her plan all along. This is probably what Alice saw. Emmett then let out the sound of a grizzly bear on the attack.

"NO ONE HITS ON EMMETT MCCARTHY'S GIRLFRIENDS!" Emmett snarled bulldozing over ten people to get to them. Honestly he made King Kong look like a nice baby chimpanzee.

"Oh shit…looks like Emmett's suffering from roid rage!" Jasper said as we all looked down in embarrassment. Emmett bellowed a pissed off grunt.

"YOU…LAY THE FUCK OFF…SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND!" Emmett growled clenching his fist.

"I didn't know the incredible hulk was based on a true story…besides what did you think would happen…she's a hottie…and your off grinding with some notties…if you don't notice how good looking your girlfriend is then someone else will." The man said.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?…DUDE DID YOU JUST FUCKING HIT ON MY GIRLFRIEND IN FRONT OF ME…FUCK YOU BUDDY…ONLY I GET TO SAY THAT ABOUT HER!" Emmett roared picking the man up by the throat and shoving him against the wall. Rosalie looked like she was mortified. I swore I heard it crack even from here. Emmett and Rose walked away as the man slumped unconscious to the floor.

"You didn't have to do that you know…you caused a scene … I didn't think you'd act like that…that wasn't in my plan!" Rosalie said embarrassed.

"Rosalie…why on gods earth would you purposely put me through that…did you know how jea-!" Emmett said shocked

"Jealous you felt, how angry and hurt you were? How do you think I felt when caught you with your stripper ex…I know you didn't screw her but seeing you in that car with her, in our apartment…naked…with her! Or how about tonight when you were practically poll dancing on those girls waiving your hands in the air. Did you think I was happy to see all of that! You needed a taste of your own medicine Emmett!" Rosalie said both hurt and pissed.

"but I didn't think…" Emmett started up.

"Exactly you don't think about other people sometimes…all you care about is yourself!" Rose said with a fire in her eye.

"Baby I'm sorry…really I am…I just wanted to dance and you weren't around!" Emmett whined.

"no that was some male attention thing that was going on there...you wanted to see what would happen if you did that and it blew up in your face. Emmett, babe, meet the new Rosalie. I'm not taking your shit anymore. You want to dance with other girls…fine go right ahead. Just remember that it's a two way street baby…you can do what you want then so can I. Maybe you'll think about that before next time." Rosalie said in a final tone. She then looked over at her parents who were in deep conversation with Grandpa Cullen at their table.

"They didn't hear…but I think we should tell them anyways. I mean you never know who heard Emmett's rant." Rosalie said shaking her head.

"Come on Emmett…its time to face the music!" Rose grabbed Emmett's hand and turned towards her parents table. Edward, Jasper, Alice and I followed along for moral support.

"Hey guys I have to tell you something!" Rose said getting their attention.

"what's wrong Rose?" her mother asked

"Mom, dad, ggrandpa…I have some news…Emmett and I are-" Rosalie was cut off by her sister Rosland barging over.

"Mom , dad, I have to tell you guys something…this cant wait any longer…TY AND I ELOPED LAST WEEK CAUSE I'M PREGNANT…WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY…EEEEEE!" Rosland shrieked. Rose's mom slumped to the floor.

"Wait a minute…exactly who the fuck is Ty…and if he's your husband why isn't he here?" Her father asked shocked.

"oh I didn't tell you…we've been dating for a month and a half (Rosland didn't live with her parents…and she goes to a different school then everyone else)…we met in my history class…we started hanging out…and then everything went by so fast… in next thing I know I have a bun in the oven. He's not here because I told him to stay home…that he couldn't miss class. Remember last weekend… I called and told you I was spending it at a friends vineyard …well me and Ty found a chapel in Seattle and we tied the knot. CONGRATULATIONS GRANDPA HALE!" Rosland bellowed the last part while nudging her father.

"boy I know people out in Washington State…one phone call and Ty can go bye -bye…or if you want to wait we can do the job ourselves." Grandpa Cullen whispered in Rose's father's ear.

" I'll take that second option…but Jack we're not going to kill him…he needs to learn the repercussions of his actions!" Rose's father whispered back.

"That's what Carlisle's for, I didn't send that boy to med school for nothing…hey maybe while he's fixing the boy up he could give him a little snip down under…prevent future 'accidents'." Grandpa Cullen said.

"Now Rose what were you going to say?" her father asked.

"Nothing…I said nothing!" Rose gulped. She then turned towards Rosland with a fire in her eye.

" ROSLAND…YOUR HAVING A BABY WITH SOMEONE THAT NO ONE KNOWS…YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM…HE COULD BE A CREEP! A
PEDAPHILE…SERIOUSLY HE COULD BE SOME TAPPED CHILD MOLESTER AND YOU PROVIDE HIM FREE ACCESS…DO YOU EVEN THINK! BESIDES THE PLACE YOU LIVE DOESN'T HAVE ROOM FOR CHILDREN…WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAD TWINS…DID YOU THINK ABOUT THAT!" Rosalie snarled. It was dead obvious that Rosalie had the unborn child's interest at heart. She didn't even know the child. Rosland could have been having the Antichrist and Rosalie would of still defended it.

"I…uh…um" Rosland stumbled out.

"Exactly…you didn't!" Rosalie huffed.

"Listen Rose…I'm only about a month along…there are things that we can do!" Rosland said.

"THINGS YOU CAN DO …YOUR GOING TO HARM A CHILD JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE STUPID…JUST BECAUSE SOME GUY NAME TY CAME ON TO YOU. GOD YOU WERE ALWAYS LIKE THIS WITH MEN. THE MINUTE THEY SHOWED INTEREST YOU HOPPED RIGHT ON INTO BED WITH THEM. YOU KNEW YOUR LIFESTYLE AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN TAKE THE PILL OR GET THE SHOT. HOW MANY TIMES DID UNCLE CARLISLE WARN YOU THAT THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN AFTER YOU ASKED HIM TO GET YOU THE MORNING AFTER PILL! LOOKS LIKE YOU WAITED TOO LONG THIS TIME…COULDN'T FIND A CLINIC AT YOUR 'WEDDING!'. FRANKLY I'M SURPRISED THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN SOONER! I SHOULD BE AUNTIE ROSALIE TEN TIMES OVER WITH ALL THE MORNING AFTER PILLS YOU TOOK. AND YOUR PULLING THIS STUNT ON THE DAY OF OUR COUSIN'S AND MY FRIEND'S WEDDING…HONESTLY YOU HAVE TO TELL EVERYONE NOW. THIS COULDN'T WAIT TILL TOMORROW MORNING. YOU ARE SO SELFISH. YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HAVING A CHILD!" Rose screeched.

"Thank god we got married first…I mean I know when we broke that news to your dad he took it well…but if you had gotten pregnant first he would of acted just like that!" Edward whispered while pointing to Grandpa , who was making battle plans. Alice was looking over his shoulder.

"ooh Grandpa…can this wait a month…I want to come…she's my cousin now too…I can have my assault rifle out the minute I get back!" Alice said excitedly. Grandpa Cullen beamed with pride.

"anything for a daughter of Kill-a-Swan…these things take time anyways…the addition of you Alice adds a new layer to the plan…if this is to take place in a park your going to be right here…in a home and your right here!" Grandpa said pointing to impromptu plans he made out.

"Rose your on birth control right?" Emmett gulped.

"Of course I am…I tell you every morning Emmett 'I'm taking my Lady Pills' really you think I'm as stupid as Rosland. Yeah I cant wait for a little bundle of joy but I'm in no shape to have a kid right now and neither are you Rosland. You really should of thought about your situation BEFORE TY JR WAS CONCIEVED! Your are in such a mess right now and you don't even know it. Did you even know Ty's last name before you got hitched?" Rose said shaking her head.
" uh no…I really didn't think to ask…whatever I don't need this. I need to be concentrating on baby names…I'll probably just continue the R merriment…Rosemarie Alyssa for a girl …and I was thinking Ricardo Tyson for a boy after Ty…he's Tyson Ricardo after all " Rosland said. Edward spit out his drink upon hearing the boys name.

"Tyson Ricardo…he wouldn't happen to be Tyson Ricardo Boyle…my ex boyfriend!" Rosalie snarled the last part. Rosland's face dropped.

"Uh…noo…not the same one!" Rosland lied poorly.

"ROSLAND DON'T LIE TO ME!" Rosalie said through gritted teeth.

"well you have to understand…it wasn't all my fault…see he was cute and I didn't understand my history homework so he came to tutor me one night. Next thing I know we're dating. I didn't know he was your ex!" Rosland said.

"Rosland stop lying to me…you met him before! He went to the Bahamas with our family for crying out loud!" Rosalie said. Alice then tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to the videographer who was capturing the entire thing.

"oh shit…your sister banging your ex…and getting pregnant by him too…that sucks!" Emmett said.

"Emmett shut it!" Rose said.

"That's like if Edward banged Alice!" Emmett continued on. Edward made a gagging sound and Alice went "EWWWWW…EMMETT THAT'S GROSS!…no offence Bella!"

"none taken!" I said. Actually that image was kind of funny due to the fact that they probably would of killed each other by now if I wasn't in the picture.

"EMMETT SHUT UP ALREADY!" Rosalie growled.

"This is Jerry Springer shit man…I could see it now… ' My Sister Is My Ex-Boyfriend's Baby Mama!' JER-RY…JER-RY!" Emmett fist pumped the last part.

"Emmett stop right now!" Rosalie said narrowing her eyes. Emmett flinched.

"Rosland YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN ME AND TYSON…HOW I FOUND OUT HE HAD THE CLAP FROM SOME PROSTITUTE IN A WHORE HOUSE. HE CHEATED ON ME…HE DIDN'T EVEN WEAR A GLOVE! AND OBVIOUSLY HE TILL DOESN'T BY THE LOOKS OF THINGS. GOD ROSALINE HAS MORE SENSE THEN YOU AND SHES MY ADOPTED SISTER. YOUR HAVING A BABY WITH MY EX BOYFRIEND…DID YOU EVEN CONSIDER WHAT THIS WOULD DO TO THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU. I DIDN'T EVEN PLAN ON SEEING HIS FACE EVER AGAIN AND NOW I HAVE TO AT EVERY FAMILY EVENT…X 2. YOU NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT HOW MUCH PAIN IT WILL CAUSE ME…ALL YOU SAW WAS A DING DONG!" Rosalie growled

"Long duck dong!" Emmett laughed.

"you know what Rosland…you can keep your man…but remember what goes around comes around. Karma's a bitch. He's visited whore houses before and he'll continue to do so. don't come crying to me when you get a call from a free clinic saying that your boyfriend…well in your case Mrs. Tyson Boyle or is it Mrs. Hale-Boyle, I think husband is the correct term…has STDS…and then you have to listen to him admit that he banged a whore!" Rosalie said. That gave us new insight on why Rosalie acted so jealous. Her past combined with the fact that she was dating Emmett made her the way she was. Rosland shook her head and walked away.

"Wow…Rose do you have a picture of this man…I want to see who just replaced me on Grandpa C's hit list?" Emmett asked.

"yeah I have a picture left over on my phone." Rosalie said taking out her phone. She dug through the picture archives until she stopped at one of her and some guy standing on the peak of Mt. Rainer. He was tall, heavily muscular, curly hair, and dressed in work out clothes…a lot like Emmett. Huh so it looked like both Rose and Rosland were attracted to Emmett like men.

"huh looks like an ass." Emmett commented. I had to hold back laughter. Well you know what they say…takes one to know one!

"So Rose…back to earlier…I thought those were your woman's vitamin pills…come to think of it my mom restarted what she called her 'Lady Pills' too…but I figured that again it was 'One a Day Woman's' or something like that…which is odd with my dad uh not there anymore!" Emmett said. Rosalie cocked an eyebrow.

"Emmett you dope…your mom's on birth control!" Rosalie hissed.

"Why would my mom be on birth control?" Emmett asked confused. Rosalie cocked an eyebrow and narrowed her eyes as if it should be dead obvious.

"OH I GET IT…SHE'S STARTING MENOPAUSE!" Emmett bellowed smugly.

"I'm dating an idiot!" Rosalie groaned. Since we knew that he would be upset over the truth we decided to let him keep that image. Frankly if Mrs. McCarthy was on birth control she definitely was not in menopause.

Emmett's point of view.

A little while later I was by my self since Rosie had gotten so pissed over the dancing incident. Rose had run off to the bathroom to gossip with Alice and Bella . Edward had gone off with Bella to keep her from Alice no doubt and Jasper was talking war plans with his grandfather…bor-ing! I took the last sip of my drink…damn it I needed another…Emmett McCarthy never had an empty drink in his hand! It was then that Rosalie's clone came walking over. Since Rosalie's really angry with her I probably shouldn't talk to her. I didn't want to give Rose another reason to get mad at me tonight. Maybe she wont say hi if I don't look at her. I began to look all around the room trying to find something interesting to look at.

"Hello Emmett!" she said in a deep raspy voice while fluttering her eyes. Damn it!

"Hey Ros…I think Rose is around here somewhere!" I said thinking that's what she wanted.

"I couldn't help but notice that your glass seemed empty…so I came to give you a refill!" she said handing me a Alabama slammer. Sweet!

"Thanks Rosland!" I exclaimed taking the glass from her hand. Wow she was really nice!

"do you think Rosalie's really mad at me?" Rosland asked looking extremely upset. Her mouth developed a small pout.

"You know how she is…give her a little time to calm down…she got mad at me tonight too you know!" I said. Rosland's eyes lit up.

"I don't know how anyone could be mad at you Emmett…your so sweet!" Rosland said with what I thought was sympathy in her voice.

"well I could see why she was mad at me. I was doing something that I shouldn't of been doing. I just get caught up in the moment." I said.

"That's exactly how I feel!" Rosland said taking a step closer.

"don't worry …I think she'll be okay." I said nonchalantly. Normally with a girl like this…I probably would of hit on her, checked her out…but oddly enough I felt nothing. If anything I felt a little uncomfortable talking to her…I never feel uncomfortable talking to girls…if anything I make them feel uncomfortable. I never felt this way before.

"Emmett…my sister can be such a bitch sometimes…you don't have to put up with that…a beautiful caring man such as yourself. I know that your together…I saw…I saw everything. My sister should of never did that to you!" Rosland said while rubbing my leg. Okay needed to get away from creepy pregnant sister slut…fast!

"such strong thigh muscles you have!" she cooed.

"um Rosland I have to go…uh Jasper's calling me!" I said trying to break away.

"Jasper's busy planning with grandpa…I don't know who your trying to kid Emmett…speaking of kids Emmett…all I really have to do is get rid of Ty and give him custody and we could be together. Think about it…you don't have to put up with Rose's bullshit!" she said pushing her face within inches of mine.

"Uh Rosland…I would never cheat on Rosalie…so you could just forget about it!" I tried to walk away but Rosland grabbed me firmly and pulled me back around.

"I WANT YOU…AND I'M GOING TO HAVE YOU!" Rosland demanded as she grabbed my ass. MOMMYYYYY!

"MOMMYYY!" I cried out loud. Oh shit did I just say that out loud?

"Yes Emmett I am your mommy…you've been very naughty…YOUR ABOUT TO GET PUNISHED!" Rosland said. Just then there was a flash of white lace and blonde hair. Rosalie had Rosland on the ground and was wiling out…meticulously avoiding her stomach. She ripped a clump of hair right out of Rosland's scalp.

"YOU BITCH…FIRST TYSON…NOW EMMETT….WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE HITTING ON MY BOYFRIEND! GO FUCK YOURSELF!" Rosalie said making a noise that wasn't humanly possible. The whole Cullen table…which included Rose's parents, Grandpa Cullen and Jasper turned around. Rose's parents looked shocked, Grandpa Cullen looked pissed and Jasper had a sort of mortified / oh shit they found out look on his face.

"Go Rosalie…don't put up with that shit!" Rosaline called in a very Alice like fashion.

" WHAT IS IT WITH YOU….DO YOU HAVE TO FLIRT WITH EVERY MAN ON THE FACE OF THIS EARTH…YOU EVEN HIT ON EDWARD AND JASPER…AND THEIR YOUR COUISNS!" Rosalie said slapping Rosland across the face.

"EWW!" I said grossed out.

" I never hit on them…well okay I may of hit on Edward once…but I was really drunk…I didn't know it was him!" Rosland said. The look on Bella's face told me that Edward had already told her that. They told me that one of their cousins was a slut…but damn I never figured that would happen. I really should of went to those Christmas parties!

"CANT BE YOUR EXCUSE THIS TIME. YOUR PREGNANT…CANT DRINK WHILE WITH CHILD NOW CAN WE ROSLAND…WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY THIS TIME? ' EMMETT CAME ON TO ME?' I DON'T THINK SO. I HEARD EVERYTHING!…YOU THOUGHT I WAS A 'BITCH'…WELL YOU AINT SEEN NOTHING YET!" Rosalie roared like a mother lion. Alice was sobbing quietly behind her.

"this wedding was supposed to be about me-I mean me and Jasper!" Alice sobbed. Everyone ignored that comment.

"ROSLAND…SAY HELLO TO MAMA BITCH!" Rose said decking her in the face with what I thought was an awesome right hook. It was at that point that security came in and dragged the both of them away.

"PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT! I'LL SUE! THIS IS SECURITY BRUTALITY…UNNESSARY ROUGHNESS…I COULD GET YOU FOR ASSAULT! HEY SHE'S PREGNANT…WATCH YOUR HANDS ON THAT BELLY YOU BIG BAFFOON!" Rosalie roared as the security guard threw her over his shoulder. Her feet were flying in the air.

"Why am I getting in trouble?" Rosland asked as they carried her into a different room then Rose.

"Cause your hot!" The security guard said.

"Thank you!" Rosland said really flattered

"HEY WATCH YOUR MOUTH…SHE'S A MARRIED MOM TO BE!" Rosalie shouted.

" Shut up hot sister!" The security guard said turning and looking at Rose.

"you know what Johnny…your married…why don't you take this one…I'll take Aphrodite over there." the man said pointing to Rose. Did he just hit on Rose. Having enough I went over there.

"Excuse me…but I'm very capable of dealing with my girlfriend. Frankly speaking if anyone should be taken away its that one cause she's the one that started it." I said. After I flexed my muscles the man dropped Rose like she was a bag of hot potatoes. Rosland stretched her head around and went "Call me!"

BPV

"About time…someone should tell her that envy green really isn't her color. She's more of a lime…jinks!" Rosaline and Alice said together. I still couldn't believe that there was too Alice's in this world…never mind in the same family.

"you know Alice…I never got to say how much I love your wedding…I totally wanted to get married on Valentines day too…but I don't want to copy you!" Rosaline or whatever we should call her said.

"oh you still can silly…as long as you don't get married here it wont be copying…are you seeing anyone?" Alice asked

"well actually…there is this one guy…kinda looks like Jasper…his name's Casper. I've been seeing him for a while now. He's right over there talking to Jasper. I've been pestering him to get married for a while now but he says that I need to learn what marriage is. Please its just because he's into all that psychological bullshit. He's more emotional then I am!" Rosaline said.

"Oh my god girl I went through the exact same thing. I thought I was the only one!" Alice exclaimed.

"like last night…when he gave me this speel about how we're going to get married when we both feel like it….a.k.a when he feels like it and how I need to understand that a marriage isn't about the wedding but the life after. Really? All I'm asking for is a wedding with everyone dressed in hot pink and all eyes on me and my black and baby pink gown…Alice you understand…you don't like tradition either…with matching flower girls prancing down the isle before you…" oh god it must be genetic. I felt so sorry for Jasper.

"and then you make your grand entrance…you strut down the isle like your Tyra Banks….and then you see him!" Alice said.

"I've been practicing my "surprise at seeing Casper" pose for a while now…I'm just waiting for that rock!" Rosaline said.

"Girl I'm going to give you a piece of advice…you don't have to practice that face…it comes natural when you get your first good glance…you do need to train your bridesmaids though. And Jasper said the same exact thing to me. Did you get the speech that marriage wasn't about "the me factor" but was about the "we factor" too?" Alice asked. I had to hold back laughter. It reminded me of the saying " birds of a feather flock together."

"yeah…I found that weird because we all know marriage is about the " me factor". I mean one half of the "we" is "me"" Rosaline said.

"don't worry…if he's anything like Jasper and for some reason I think he is (wonder why?) he wont be able to wait that long…no I bet that you'll get that rock by the end of the month." Alice said smiling. Alright this is freaky…if I didn't know they were biological siblings then I would of sworn they were. It was then that the Jasper clones came walking over.

"Twilight zone!" Emmett said making twilight zone music. Edward started laughing under his breath.