I know that it has been FOREVER since I updated this story. I promise that I have not become uninterested in it or anything like that. I recently moved 1500 miles away from home and started my first semester of college. The past few months have been very busy and taxing for me, and I haven't had as much time to write as I would have liked. I work hard to bring you all these chapters, so please don't lose faith in me. I can't guarantee when more updates will be, but I will never quit on this story. I have it completely planned out, and I am here until the end as long as I still have faithful readers who want to read more.
I would like to address a few things first.
I welcome constructive criticism. I wish to grow as a writer, so I would like you all to voice any concerns you have. However, I do not appreciate my work being ripped into. It is very discouraging to receive hate over something I have been investing myself in for over two years. If you do not like my story, you do not have to read it. But please remember that I am a real person with feelings before you spit on my work. That is all.
There is one thing in particular that a lot of people have brought to my attention. Yes, I am aware that Snow and Charming had a boy on the show. But i must say, this story is not canon. I have had this gender decided on since the beginning of this year. I considered changing it once the gender was revealed on the show, but I decided against it. While these are not my characters, this is my story and this is what I have decided. The gender will remained unchanged. However, don't lose faith in me. You never know what tricks I have up my sleeve. I have a lot planned for this family, and I hope you all still wish to see what is in store.
A huge thanks to ladywolf101, I don't know what I would do without you.
This chapter is incredibly long, so I hope that makes up for the wait. Enjoy!
She felt like complete and utter crap. Seriously, everything just ached. Her head hurt so bad that it felt like she had just guzzled her weight in booze, plus she felt like she was about to spew chunks everywhere. She promised herself that she would never drink again, because this was one of the worst hangovers that she had ever experienced.
With a groan, she opened her eyes and moved to sit up. She might as well confront this monster hangover now rather than wallowing in her intolerance for alcohol.
She stretched and looked around, only to be confused, which hurt her head. She wasn't in the loft bedroom at the apartment. She wasn't in August's bedroom, a place she had taken too many after-activities naps so it wasn't uncommon to wake up there. She wasn't in a hotel room at Granny's or her office. She had ruled out all of the common places where she slept, and yet, she still had no idea where she was. She had never seen this massive four poster bed before, plus the large stone fireplace wasn't exactly something common to Storybrooke. So where was she? This bedroom wasn't like anything she had ever encountered before...in fact, it was something that looked like it had popped out of fairytale...
Emma collapsed onto her back as she swore. She wasn't home. She was in the Enchanted Forest. Or at least, the place beyond death that resembled her birth land. She still hadn't figured that part out.
And she hadn't been drinking, she was sure of that. She didn't remember much, as it was a bit hazy, but she did recall standing between Regina and Michael. She had stopped them from fighting, but she wasn't positive how.
A door opened, and she turned to see her little sister enter the room with a rag and a bucket of water.
She moved to sit up again, but it just hurt to much. Instead she rolled over and buried her face in the pillows.
"Hey, don't exert yourself. You'll just make things worse," Eva said as she soaked the rag and folded it into a strip. "Here, put this on your forehead. You had a bit of a fever the last time we checked on you."
Emma complied, and the damp cloth did help her feel better. "What happened?"
"Over exertion. Unlike us, you still have a link to your body. When you used magic to break Michael and Regina up, it was too much for you to handle. You still aren't completely healed from your last explosion, so magic use isn't exactly easy on you."
She groaned as she rubbed her aching temples. "Did I pass out?"
"Yeah, and you were out for a while." Eva held out a cup full of water. "Drink. It will make you feel better."
"How long is a while?" Emma asked as she took a few long and slow sips of water. Her sister was right, that helped make her head feel less foggy. "I know that time passes differently here than back home. How much time did my blackout cost me?"
Eva was silent for a moment, but Emma knew that she would tell the truth. This girl was just like their mother in the sense that she was a horrible liar.
"Five months. Actually, a little over."
Emma nearly choked on her water. "You have to be joking! I've been gone for six months total! That's half of a year!" Despite the queasiness that rushed through her, she sat up and moved to get off of the bed. "I want to go home right now."
Eva placed her hands on Emma's shoulders. "Emma, please don't exert yourself anymore. I promise that I will personally get you home as soon as possible. You have to wait for these effects to wear off or going back will kill you. It would be too much for your body to handle."
"I'll be fine-"
"No, you won't. And besides, you need our magic to help push you back, so don't even try to do it alone. You need to trust me, I'm not keeping you here for fun and games. You need to stay for just a little while longer so that you can go home in one piece and Mom and Dad won't lose another kid."
She gave a defeated sigh, but she stayed sitting. "What am I supposed to do? I don't want to sit her and twirl my thumbs while our parents are worried sick about me. And not to mention the fact that my son doesn't have a mother. I don't want to be away from him any longer. I'm just...I'm done. I want to go home."
Eva took a seat next to her. "You will go home, and soon. But before you leave, you have someone who wants a word with you."
"I really don't want to have another conversation with Riley. She's been keeping too much from me."
"Riley is doing what she thinks is best, and we all follow her lead because she knows more than us. But that doesn't matter, because she hasn't voiced a desire to speak with you." Eva took a deep breath and looked directly in Emma's eyes. "Regina has some things she would like to discuss with you."
After the incident in the woods, Leo had taken the initiative to lock Regina up as a precaution. They still had use of Rumplestiltskin's cell down in mines below the castle, and that was where she was now.
Emma had been wary of speaking with the Evil Queen, but after a few moments of debate within herself, she decided to do it. After all, she did kill Regina, and she owed the woman this much after that. It didn't mean that she wanted to walk down into caverns below her parents' home with nothing but a torch, but she was willing to do it anyway. Even though this creeped her out.
There was a small lantern hanging beside the cell, which gave an ominous glow to the entire hallway. Emma wasn't sure if her sudden shivers were from being cold or just weirded out. She couldn't see much through the bars of the cell, but she could make out the shape of a person slumped against the wall.
She turned to Leo and Eva, who had been the first to volunteer to accompany her down here. "Leave us for a moment. I want to have a word alone with her."
Her brother and sister shared a look before glancing at the cell.
"Are you sure?" Leo asked. "She's still dangerous."
"I'll be fine," she told him. Her siblings didn't seem convinced, but they still turned and walked out of sight. Emma knew that they would be lurking nearby just in case anything happened, but she didn't mind. She liked that they cared enough to be protective of her, as she never really had the sibling experience. Sure, she had foster brothers and sisters, but none at really loved her like these guys did.
She stepped closer to the spiked bars that separated her from the Queen. She didn't want to speak first, mainly because she didn't know what to say. There were a lot of things rolling around in her head, but she had no idea where to begin. An apology for being a killer might be a place to start, but then again, she didn't know how to actually have at conversation. And bringing up Henry could go wrong due to the feud over him that had been occurring since the curse broke. There was a long list of things that she was pissed about, but Regina was the dead one, so yelling at the other woman over her wrongs might not be an ideal course of action. She was at a loss of words, mostly because she wasn't sure how to talk to this woman anymore.
"Cat got your tongue, Miss Swan?"
Emma held the lantern up so that the light was reflecting off of Regina's face. The woman was dressed in a simple black riding outfit, and her hair was piled on top of her head. She didn't look like the mayor Emma had known, but she wasn't in her full glory as the Evil Queen either. She looked like a typical Fairytale character, not one of the darkest and most powerful magic wielders in the world.
"You asked to speak to me," Emma said after a moment.
Regina stood and walked forward until she was inches from the bars. She reached her hand out and ran it down the spike in front of her. "It's funny, many people say that there is freedom in death. I guess that isn't the case."
"I was told that you were locked up as a precaution. Makes sense, I mean you attacked my brother."
She scoffed. "Your brother came after me. I was just defending myself. I had no interest in provoking any of you. I had my own agenda before you Charmings got in my way, typical."
"No matter what happened, you still tried to kill him. Not that I'm surprised, since you already did."
"I have no interest in having this conversation with you."
Emma rolled her eyes. "Then why did you ask to speak to me? What do you want?"
Regina gripped the bars between her fingers as she pushed herself as close to the outside as she could. "I want to be released. I want to find my son so that I can be reunited with him." She took a deep breath as her eyes grew dark. "I know he's here. You can't keep him from me any longer. You did plenty of that during my life, and now you can't come between us any longer. I wish things were different, but if death is the only place we can be reunited, then I will make my piece with that."
She raised her eyebrow as the woman's words sunk in. Regina was eager to get Henry back...but it was as if she thought that Henry had passed away as well. "Regina, Henry isn't here."
"Don't you dare stand there and lie to my face. You can't keep him from me any more, I won't stand for it!" Regina spat.
"Henry is back home in Storybrooke...why do you think that he is here?" Emma was officially confused.
Regina slammed her hands against the bars. "Do not mock me! I was watching over him in the hospital. Just because you took him away didn't keep me from watching over my son. I saw him die. I saw my son die, and no one bothered to even tell me. He died, and I wasn't there. He was too young to die, and yet he did. So don't even think about lying to me, because he has to be here. He's gone, but I can see him again. I can be his mother again, and we can be together as a family once more. I lost him once, don't make me go through that again."
Emma's grip on the lantern tightened as she stared at the Queen. Her face was a mixture of sorrow and anger, and she felt bad for the woman. Regina truly thought that her son was dead, and Emma didn't want to be the one to break the news to her. She had been deceived, not purposely, but the truth would sting.
"Henry...he didn't die. He briefly flatlined, by he came back. He's fine. He was about to get out of the hospital right before I came here. You aren't going to be reunited with Henry in this world, because his time to die hasn't come yet, thank the Lord." Emma was truly happy that Henry was okay, but she felt bad for Regina. The woman had been hoping to see her son again, and she had wanted to patch things up with him. Despite every evil act she had committed, Regina loved Henry. Emma couldn't deny that, and she was guilty that she had separated the two of them in Storybrooke. Maybe if she hadn't, they wouldn't be here today. And if she had let them be together, she wouldn't be guilty that Regina was separated from her son even in death. She had never really thought about what she had done by claiming her son.
Regina had retreated into the shadows, and Emma had to press the lantern close to the bars in order to see just and outline of the woman. "I'm sorry, Regina. I really am."
"Don't apologize to me." She was leaning against the walls of her cell, and her arms were folded in from of her chest. "You aren't sorry, so don't waste my time with words you don't even mean."
"You're right, I'm not sorry that he's alive. The kid has his whole life ahead of him, and that isn't something I'm upset about. He's going to do some pretty great things, and I'm glad that chance wasn't taken from him." Emma took a deep breath before she continued. She wanted to speak completely from the heart. "I am sorry though. For...for keeping him from you. You may be the Evil Queen, but you love him. I always knew that, I just didn't want to admit it. I wanted him for myself, and in doing that, I took him away from you. I really am sorry."
"You should be, Miss Swan. You should regret what you've done. You gave him away, and you had no right to barge into our lives and step up as his mother. You signed away your
parental privileges when he was born, and I became his mother. I was the one who raised him, and yet I am the one punished. Everything I did was to protect him and protect our life together. You have no right to call me evil when you were the one who ruined everything. You never think about the consequences of your actions, and because of that, you took everything from me. Apology not accepted."
Regina turned her back to Emma, who let the lantern fall to her side. She felt like she had ruined things with Regina again, and she didn't know what to do. This was her last chance to get closure with the woman, an opportunity that most people didn't get. She had to make things right, because the guilt creeping into her was something she couldn't ignore. Maybe it was because she had been the one to take Regina's life. That action made her feel like she had to make amends, because she owed that much to this woman in front of her. She just didn't know where to begin.
She had to start somewhere, so she figured that plunging ahead was the best move.
"You have every right not to accept my apology, but I'm really trying. I want to make things right."
There was a scoff as the Queen turned around. That had caught her attention. "You are so naive. You can't just say that you're sorry and things magically are fixed. Your mother was the same way. She tried to apologize for what she had done, but that couldn't bring my fiancé back. You can't apologize for ruining my chances of being a parent and expect me to stop caring that my son was taken from me. It doesn't work that way."
"But Regina, I truly am sorry. I know those words mean nothing to you, but they mean something to me."
"'Sorry' doesn't right wrongs, no matter how pure your intentions."
Emma sighed and held the lantern up once more. She wasn't sure what else to do, but she couldn't give up. She had to make things right or she would never forgive herself. "Yeah, you've been screwed over a few times in your life. It sucks, believe me, I know. But you know what? You have never apologized for taking me from my parents for my whole life. You aren't the only one who has had horrible things happen to them. But you are the only one who refuses to acknowledge that you made a mistake." Emma cleared her throat and looked Regina in the eyes. "I made a mistake, Regina, and it has taken me until now to realize it. I shouldn't have taken Henry from you. It destroyed you. I wish I could go back and do things differently, but I can't. All I can do is stand here and try to make you see how much I regret my actions. I really wish that you can find it in yourself to realize that."
There was a moment of silence as Regina looked at the ground. She seemed deep in thought, and Emma didn't want to interrupt that. She had a feeling that they were close to a breakthrough, but that could just be her being optimistic.
Regina cleared her throat as she raised her head. She took a few deep breaths as she prepared to speak. It was obvious that this woman had something vastly important to say, and Emma was all ears.
"I was...I was on my way to kill you," Regina quietly said.
"What?"
She stepped back into the light and looked Emma in the eyes. "When we met on the street, I was headed towards you. I was going to rip your heart out and crush it so that you would know how it felt to lose my son. And then I was going to kill your parents and your perfect little boyfriend. I was going to kill you all because I didn't think that you all deserved to live while Henry was dead."
Emma stayed silent as she let the woman's words sink in. It made sense. In the past, Regina had always been one who was aggressive when she was upset. Her killing them all when she thought Henry was dead was something in character. She let her emotions rule her actions, and Emma was surprised that no one had been killed sooner.
She should have known that it was no coincidence that she ran into Regina that day. And yet, here they were with the roles reversed. Regina was the one who had been murdered and Emma still had her whole life ahead of her. Regina had lost everything one last time, and that wasn't fair to her, no matter what she had done in her past. She didn't deserve to be killed in her misery, no one deserved that.
"I didn't mean to kill you," Emma told her. "I got upset and lost control of my magic. I never wanted you dead. I'm not...I'm not a killer. That was never my intention."
"I know."
"You do?" Emma inquired with a raised eyebrow.
Regina smirked and dropped her hands to her sides with a shrug. "I am -was- one of the most powerful magic wielders in the world. I know what a magical explosion looks like." She sighed. "Emma, we have been at each other's throat for so long. We both knew that one day one of us would end the other. I always thought it would be me, but I was wrong. It was always supposed to be you. You're the Savior, and it is fitting that you would kill one of the darkest magic wielders there is. You were meant for so much more than breaking my curse, you were meant to bring an end to me. After all, it's a fate I deserve."
"Regina-"
The Queen held up her hand to silence the blonde. "I am angry with you. You took my son from me. I will always despise you for that, and nothing can change that fact. But I can no longer fight for him. I lost, because that's what evil does. It loses, eventually. I may hate you for barging into my life, but I am the one who drove my son away. I used dark arts to try to get what I want, and he rejected me because of it. I lived a life that was poisoned by the darkness, and I was an addict. I never tried to do the right thing because I liked how it felt to be evil. And that is why I lost my son. I will never forgive you for taking him, but I can acknowledge that I am at fault as well."
"I was wrong. I'm sorry. No one deserves to have their child taken from them-"
"Exactly!" she sharply exclaimed. "I didn't deserve that, but it is a fate I brought upon myself. I took every child from your mother and I never felt guilty about it. I never cared that I was murdering innocent children to hurt her. I never cared about what I did to you. And after a life of stealing children, I lost mine. In the end, I saw what I had done and I hated it. I hated the pain I felt and for the first time I felt regret. I thought getting my son back would make that go away, but in the end, I drove a permanent wedge between us. In the end, I hated myself.
"I deserved to die. I wronged so many people, and I took so much. I was going to kill you and your whole family. You shouldn't apologize for ending my life because you did nothing wrong. I would have done the same to anyone who threatened someone I love. You did nothing wrong by ending my life, and besides, you never intended to. You're still good, and you're still the Savior.
"I will always be angry, because that is who I am. But I have made peace with what has happened to me. My death was deserved, and I can accept that. I have always known that I would deserve whatever horrible fate was my ending, because that is what I have earned for myself. I wish more than anything that I could have been reunited with Henry in the end, but now I can see that that will never happen. I destroyed that relationship, and I will always be paying the consequences for it.
"I never redeemed myself while I was alive, which is what I have always wanted. I wanted love in my life but I drove it away. So now, in death, I am choosing a path that I never would have considered before. I am choosing to accept my wrongs and pay the price. I have been running from that for so long. I have been chasing revenge my whole life and I ruined the one shot I had at love. So as you stand across from me for the last time, I will not focus on my hatred of you. Instead, I will do right by Henry, for once. I stand here today as a mother, and I ask that you and take care of him as he deserves, and as I never did. I ask that you love him as a mother instead of loving him for selfish reasons. I will always be his mother in my heart, but now, I completely surrender the role to you. It is your job now. Henry is all that matters to me, and I will only be able to cope with my misery by accepting that you are, and always have been, his best chance."
Tears were running down her face as she spoke, and it was the first time that Emma had seen this woman display such raw emotion. A second ago they had been arguing as usual, but it was now apparent that the woman in front of her was different. This was a woman who had finally accepted her actions and who she was, and this was a woman who had finally discovered what redemption was. Even in death Regina had the chance to change, and even though it was late, it was finally happening. Regina was finally working towards her happy ending, whatever it may be in this life, the right way.
As soon as Regina uttered her last word, the bars crumbled away. Emma and Regina both jumped back and stared at the open space between them.
"What just happened?" Emma muttered as her eyes widened.
"This was Rumplestiltskin's cell. It keeps those with dark hearts inside."
"And your love for Henry has brought a light into your darkness," Emma stated as realization washed over her.
Regina's eyes lit up. "Henry is my redemption. He always has been. And on the day when I see him again decades into the future, I will be the mother that I should have been. The mother he deserves."
Emma stepped to the side so that she was no longer blocking the door. "Go. Go find your father and your fiancé. Go be happy, even if it's in death. Even you, one with the darkest of souls, deserves that. The only way for me to make peace with you is if I know that in the end you were pursuing a true happy ending, one born out of love."
The woman was silent for a moment before she cleared her throat. "This changes nothing, but thank you."
"I wouldn't expect you to forgive me. Just go be happy. It's your turn, I owe you that. I will no longer stand in your way."
Regina stepped forward and took a few steps down the hallway. After a moment she stopped and turned around to face Emma for the last time. "Take care of him," she said with the corner of her mouth turned upwards in the smallest of smiles.
"I will."
The former Evil Queen nodded and turned around to exit the dungeon. Emma watched her walk away, and for once, she felt no pure hatred for the woman. Sure, she still had her issues, but for right now, she had made peace with her worst enemy. And that was the best ending that she could have hoped for when it came to that woman. The Evil Queen was dead, and through that, Regina had been born again. And despite their differences, Emma was truly glad.
The talk with Regina had been rewarding, closure always was, but it had also been draining. Emma hadn't wanted to face her brother and sister yet, so she was wandering the tunnels beneath the castle. She wouldn't go far, she just needed a chance to clear her head. She stopped and slid down to sit against the wall in an effort to just take a moment to breath. She set the lantern down next to her and ran her hands down her face a few times as she tried to get a handle on the millions of emotions that she was feeling.
Regina would always hate her, and that was something that would never change. Sure, her parting from the woman had been civil, unlike their meetings in Storybrooke, but there was underlying hatred. Emma accepted that. She had apologized and at this point, there wasn't anything else that she could do. She could make peace with that, even though in the back of her mind she would always be unsettled about the friction between her and Regina. Her only option now was to take care of their son as best as she could, and that was all that she could do. She just had to get home first.
"Hey, Emma."
She loudly swore and jerked as the voice startled her out of her solitude. In one swift motion she rose to her feet and turned to find the origin of the voice. "Who's there?"
A muscled arm slid through bars of a cell and waved at her. "Over here, Sis."
A few quick steps led her to a cell that was smaller than Regina's. The occupant was leaning against the bars with a smug grin on his face. His blonde hair was messily pushed out of his face so that she could clearly see his green irises staring directly into her very soul. His shirt was ripped and he was soaked with swear, obvious signs of his duel with the Evil Queen. "Michel, you scared me."
"Sorry, I thought you were going to walk by. I just wanted to get your attention." He picked at his nails as he spoke, but he never once broke eye contact with her.
"So that you could yell at me again?" she asked as she folded her arms across her chest. "I haven't forgotten that you hate me."
Michel shrugged as he twirled his thumbs. "I don't hate you...you just piss me off. A lot."
"Well, then I guess it's a good thing you're behind those bars."
He stood up straight and gripped the spikes between them. "Leo thought that it would be a good idea. He said that my aggression towards the Evil Queen was something that needed to be handled. He's just protective, always has been. Doesn't mean he's right, though."
"I guess that's a good thing since you almost got yourself sent to Oblivion," Emma stated. "I may not be your biggest fan, but that would have sucked."
He let out a cold laugh. "What makes you think that I didn't want to get sent there?" Her eyes widened, but he just continued to speak. "Look, I was looking to finally make Regina pay for what she did to Leo, Eva, and me. I was going to try to end her. But I knew that she was more powerful than me. I never expected to come back. I never cared whether or not I stayed here. In fact, I kind of wanted to go. I wanted it all to be over."
"You were trying to wipe yourself from existence?" she breathed as her jaw dropped. "I know that you are upset about the whole Savior situation, but that's not worth ending yourself."
"It has nothing to do with that," he muttered with a shake of his head. "You couldn't possibly understand." He pushed himself away from the bars and shoved his hands in his pockets. He rocked back and forth on his feet, a feature that was strikingly similar to their dad when he was deep in thought.
Emma stepped closer as realization dawned on her. Yes, he was mad that she was the Savior, and he was unsatisfied with her performance. But he was struggling. His behavior said it all. She had come across people like him in the foster system. Kids that felt like they were unloveable and unworthy. Kids, just like her, that never felt like they had a chance at happiness. She had felt that way her whole life, and now her brother was in front of her and it was plain as day. They were more alike than she felt possible, because whether he liked it or not, she understood him. Michael acted the way he did because he was insecure about who he truly was.
"This is because you would have been blind," she stated, causing him to lift his head.
"How do you know about that? Did Eva tell you?" His brow furrowed as he stepped closer to the bars. His jaw was locked, and it was obviously that this subject was not something he liked to discuss.
She nodded. "Don't be mad at her. She just wanted me to know why you are the way you are."
He gritted his teeth, his eyes dark. "You had no right to know that. It is none of your business."
"Michael, it's okay. I know how you feel."
He slammed his hand against the bars. "No you don't! You're perfect! You have nothing wrong with you. You have nothing that makes you a burden, nothing that would make your parents not love you-"
It was her turn to be angry with him. She cut him off by inching forward and narrowing her eyes. "Do not ever say anything like that again."
He backed away from her and curled his fingers into fists. His face turned red as he began to slowly pace around the cell, and obvious sign that he was quickly becoming upset. "Why not? It's true. I would have been the child that was so much extra work. Mother and Father would have had to make exceptions for me. Teach me differently. Learn how to communicate differently. I wouldn't have been able to keep up. I wouldn't have been able to act as a royal, and they would have treated me differently. No one wants a kid like that. No one can love a kid that makes everything difficult." His voice had grown small as he looked at the floor. His anger was still there, but as he spoke, his pain had traveled to the surface, and he was having a difficult time keeping it reigned in. Emma could have sworn she saw wetness gathering in his eyes, but he pinched the bridge of his nose before anything dripped down his cheeks.
She decided to use a gentler approach. Michael was showing her a completely different side of him, even if he didn't want to. He was being vulnerable and opening up despite his tough exterior. She could see how raw his emotions were and how conflicted he was. Her brother was in pain because he thought he was unworthy of their mom and dad, and it broke her heart. Partially because he was her sibling and she loved him despite everything, but partially because she saw something in him. Something that she usually buried because she hated dealing with it. As he expressed how he felt, she saw herself. And she couldn't ignore that.
"When I reunited with them after the curse broke, I loved them. I really did. But I pulled back because I was terrified of them. I was terrified of getting close to them because I truly thought that once they got to know me, they would be disappointed. I wouldn't live up to their expectations. Growing up with the life I had screwed me up. I have always hated myself, and I didn't want to let them down. I know what it's like to feel like your parents wouldn't love you because you are flawed. I've felt that pain, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Especially not my older brother," Emma quietly told him.
Michael tilted his head to make eye contact with her. "Our situations aren't the same. Blindness and a rough childhood are two different things. I would have been born a burden, while you are just someone that they would have had to accept your past." His hand moved forward to grasp the bars as almost a lifeline.
She gripped the bars in front of her, her hands moving to almost touch her brother's. He glanced at the tiny space between them, his eyebrow raised.
"I was a burden. I was someone who didn't want to let my parents love me. I didn't want to let them in. That killed our parents. They wanted to be a mother and father and I just...I didn't let them. They had to tiptoe around my feelings and that wasn't fair to them. I am their child, but I fought them on that. I fought them on their love. I don't know what more burdensome than that."
He remained quiet for a moment, but he slowly cleared his throat. "After everything you did...they still...they still tried to be your parents?"
Emma nodded. "They never gave up. That isn't like them. Mom and Dad...they love fiercely and completely and they weren't about to just let me slip through their fingers. To them, I never was a burden. I am who I am and they accept me anyways. They love me for me and nothing will ever stop that."
"But..."
"Let me tell you one thing, Michael," she stated as she gripped his fingers with her own. "Had you been born, our mother and father would not have hesitated. Mom would have bought every book to do with blindness so that she could do her best raising you. They would have made sure that you felt normal. And most importantly, they would have let you know every single day how loved you are. They would have loved you so intensely that you would never even doubt them. You wouldn't have been a burden, because you are their child and nothing changes that."
"You're sure?" he inquired, his voice shaking. Gone was the stone cold exterior. Michael was letting her connect with him on a deep emotional level, and she was glad that she was getting through to him.
She slipped her hand through the bars and gently placed it on his cheek. "Absolutely. Losing you was hard on them because they love you more than words can describe. They would have done anything for you, Michael. You may not have ever met them, but you have a piece of their hearts that will never belong to another. You are their son, and you always will be."
His emerald eyes held tears that were threatening to spill over. He quickly wiped them away and ran his fingers through his hair a few times, looking painfully like their father. "I don't...I don't know what to say."
"Stop fighting it. I know how you feel, and trust me, life is so much better when you accept that you aren't worthless. It took me a long time to realize that, and all I want for you is to see how much you matter. You always will. Leo always will and Eva always will. You three mean the world to our parents, and you always will."
Michael took a deep breath as he looked Emma in the eyes. "Why are you being so nice to me? I treated you horribly...the things I said to you can't be taken back."
Emma shrugged and gave him a small smile. "You are my brother, and at the end of the day, I love you no matter what." She leaned against the bars and took a deep breath. "It should have been you. You should have been the Savior. I have never met someone so willing and so brave. You would have stepped up and done your best without a second thought. Then I look at myself I wonder why I was chosen. I am not special, and I am certainly not as committed as you. But now, once I go back, I will do my best. I'm going to be the type of Savior worthy of you. I owe you that much, Michael. I really do."
She meant it. There was no way that she could go back and be the same. Not now that she knew siblings far better than she. It was her job to honor them by stepping up and fulfilling the role that was fated to be hers. It was the ultimate burden, but there was a reason why it was hers. She had to accept that now. Her life was no longer about herself, it was about what she could do for her people. It was about how she could save others.
Speaking with Michael had changed her. She related to him so well, and she felt connected with him now. No longer was there venom between the two of them. Now they had admitted that they shared a bond that their other siblings didn't have. Emma saw who her brother truly was, and while he was still obnoxious, he was sensitive and he cared. He tried so hard to put on a mask, but she now knew the real him. The person in front of her was the brother that she would have loved and looked up to if they had the chance. Meeting him was a gift, because now she could go through the rest of her life knowing that she had a sibling that she related to. She had never had that before. She loved Leo and Eva just as much, but with Michael, getting through to him had truly made her see what family was about.
She would never take anything for granted again. She was blessed. She had the world at her fingertips. And she had responsibilities. It was time for her to step up. It was time for her to truly live. She owed her brothers and sister that much.
"Emma," Michael said, as he rubbed the back of his neck.
"Yes?"
"There's something that Riley hasn't told you. She's been holding back, and I don't know why. But you need to know. That's why you were brought here, after all."
Emma raised her eyebrow as she looked at her brother. "What is it?" she questioned with a hesitant voice.
He sighed as his face fell. "Riley figured out how to break the Dark Curse before she died. She cracked the code. That information is why she was killed, to shut her up. We've been working to get you here so that she could finally tell you. I don't know why she hasn't yet, but as the Savior, you need to know."
"Need to know what? What is this secret?"
"The curse isn't broken. Not while everyone is still in Storybrooke. While Regina was alive, her presence kept the town stable. But now that she's gone, her workings will slowly unravel. The magic will slip away and Storybrooke will cease to exist. And when it does, everyone will die."
Emma's eyes grew wide. Her knuckles grew white as she tightly gripped the cell bars. "How much time before this happens?"
"We aren't sure. All we know is that no one belongs in that world. You need to get them out before everything, including their lives, is taken away from them. That is what your job truly is. Waking them up was part of it, but the true curse hasn't been broken just yet."
"Do you know what I need to do? How can I save them?"
Michael looked like he was in pain. "All magic comes with a price, and this curse has the steepest one of all."
She was starting to feel anxious. "What is it?" she asked, her voice quivering with what can only be described as fear.
Leo and Eva rounded the corner, causing Emma's attention to be shifted. Judging by the looks on their faces, they had heard every word. Michael and Eva looked to the oldest sibling, who stepped forward. He set his lantern down and placed his hands on Emma's shoulders.
"I wish I could protect you from this, I really do." His voice carried so much sadness as he spoke to his sister. "The price is the Ultimate Sacrifice. Which, unfortunately, will cost you everything. The Ultimate Sacrifice is the sacrifice of the most true love of all. And basically, what that means is that as the Savior, you have to sacrifice yourself for the good of all. You have to give up your life so that everyone else may live."
Emma didn't know what to think. She should be thrilled that she had finally discovered what the whole purpose of this Savior thing was, but the knowledge that that involved her death was bone-chilling. She had never signed up to die. There had always been a hidden meaning to her life, and the way she figured it, that purpose would have revealed itself naturally to her. Being a hero for her people should have been enough. Sure, she wished for a quiet life with her parents, son, and boyfriend, but she had always been aware that there would be trials in her way. But she had never even begun to imagine that her life ending was actually what her life was about.
Dying was something she had always been fearful of. When she was nine a drunk driver landed her and two other foster kids, along with their social worker, into the hospital. She had been lucky enough to walk away with only a broken arm and a few scrapes, but that incident caused her to look at death differently. Elementary school kids shouldn't have worries about death, but she did. She should have been thinking of what potential she had and where she could go, but instead, she thought about dying. She thought about how if she hadn't been so lucky, she would have left the world without knowing who her parents were. But more than that, she had started thinking about how no one would have really cared if she had passed on. She was just some little girl who didn't have anyone who loved her because she simply was imperfect. She was battered and broken like a toy that most people threw away. Her first true run-in with death had sparked something in her that would grow into a simmering anger at her parents and the world. For a nine year old, it was a heavy topic that affected her but overall was something she didn't really have to worry about. But now that death was staring her in the face with a wicked grin, she felt like she was nine years old again and riding in an ambulance. The only difference was that this time she had a completely different perspective, and one that was tremendously more painful.
This time, she had something to lose, something she never had before. Love.
She loved her boyfriend. August had been a friend to her for months, and he quickly became her best friend. He was easy to talk to and was always there for her. When they had started sleeping together, it had been completely casual. Yet, something changed when she was with him. She stayed afterwards, something she had never done before. She had always been attracted to him, but she had never realized how much she felt for him until he put it all on the line. He had forced her to decide whether she wanted him romantically or not, and when faced with losing him, she realized that she did. And before too much longer, she completely loved him. She had never given herself to someone like that before, but with August, she wasn't afraid to. The longer they were together, the more she loved him. And the more she loved him, the more she needed him. She was uninterested in a life without him by her side. He was her biggest supporter and her rock. When she was with him, she was happy. he was who she was meant to be with, and she couldn't lose that. She couldn't lose the love of her life.
She loved her son. She always had. Giving him up had been the hardest thing she had ever had to do, and it had destroyed her. She had lived a life of misery that only ceased when she opened the door to her apartment to find Henry on the other side. He had changed her life for the better, and he had brought her home. He had forgiven her for giving her away, and more than that, he allowed her to be the mother that she had always wanted to be. And at the end of the day, being a mom was her favorite thing about herself. Everything she did, she did for him. He was her responsibility and she would do anything for him without a second thought. When she looked at him, she felt a love so pure and strong that she genuinely believed that it could move mountains if that's what he needed. His desires and needs were always above her own, and this had led her to discover that she now truly felt like a parent. But it was more than that. She was a mother because she was always there for her child. Operation Cobra, late night movies, ice cream binges, they had fun together. The kid was her best friend. And while their relationship was built on fun and games, she would defend him and protect him against anything. She would die for him, if she had to, which is what made this so hard. She didn't want him to grow up without his mother, and she couldn't bear the thought of not being there to see his life. She couldn't lose him, but more importantly, she didn't want him to lose her. A love between a parent and child was something that she just couldn't bear to let go of.
She loved her father. She had long ago forgiven him for sending her away, and now she thanked him for putting her best shot above what he wanted when placing her in that wardrobe. He was the bravest man she knew, and she had no doubt that he would fight for her no matter what. She had always wanted a father that she could rely on, and he was it. He was the father she had dreamed of when she was a young child. He was kind and he cared about her, and that was irreplaceable. After living a life where she meant nothing, finding a life where she was everything was something she couldn't let go of. She had her father wrapped around her finger, as she was certain she would have as a child. His smile could lift her spirits and his hug could send her demons away. The pendent that hung around her neck was a physical representation of his love for her. He had given it to her when she barely accepted that he was her dad, but now, it never left her neck. Just like he would never leave her. He would always stay by her side no matter what, and it gave her strength. And although it took a long time, she finally called him by the title he deserved, the title he had earned time and time again. Dad. She wanted to call him that for the rest of her life. And she had no desire to lose that. She did not want to break the bonds between parent and child once more. She couldn't lose her father again, because it would destroy her. She needed to love him as her dad and be loved as his daughter, and she didn't want to end that.
She loved her mother. She loved her mother so much. Her mom had been the first person to reach out to her and be her friend. Her mom had been the first person to truly believe in her. When the curse broke, she had been torn between her love for her best friend and her long-decided feelings towards her mother. She had painted a picture of a horrible woman that gave her away, but when she finally met her mother, she was glad to be so off. Her mom was the best mother she could ever ask for. She wished that she could have grown up with a parent like her, because her childhood would have been wonderful. But now, as a broken and damaged adult, her mother didn't hesitate to accept her for who she was. Her mother got her to talk about things she had never told a soul, and her mom knew her better than anyone. She was the best shoulder to cry on and the best listener. And there was something about her mom's hugs. Whenever she was scared or hurt or upset, nothing made her feel more safe than being in her momma's arms. As a child she had always wanted someone that she could run to, and now, she had that. Her mother was the first person by her side when things went wrong. Her mom was the person she trusted the most. Her mom was better than anything she had ever imagined. She couldn't lose that. She had just found her mom and she couldn't lose her again.
When she thought about her family, it made her tears spill over uncontrollably. She loved them so much and they made her so happy. They were everything she had ever wanted as a child, and the idea that she would have to let them go scared her. She knew that she had a responsibility to save everyone, but she was selfish. She didn't want to sacrifice her happy ending for the good of all. But in the end, she would do it anyway, because she had to save them too. They would understand why, she knew that much, but it didn't make it easier. And the worst part was that she would not tell them what she had to do. She would not say goodbye. She would return home to see them. She would kiss her son's forehead one last time. She would make love to August one last time. And she would hug her parents one last time. After that, she would fulfill her role. After that, she would do the most painful thing that had ever been expected of her.
It hurt.
Her mind was filled with moments of her family. Moments that made everything worse.
She saw Henry splitting a huge bowl of ice cream with her as they watched Star Wars movies. She saw August making salsa for his football game as she leaned against the counter next to him, laughing at something he said. She saw her dad bringing her a donut to work on a day when she had piles of paperwork. She saw her mom braiding her hair on a rainy day. These moments, and the thousand others that she had, were what she treasured most of all. In her memories she saw the family that she had always wanted, and the family that she had. Little orphan Emma Swan had found what she had been looking for all of her life. She had lost her family, her home, and most importantly love as a child. But now, she was proud to say that she had found it all. She had been lost, and her family had found her and saved her life.
She pushed herself up and walked out of the room where she had been given privacy. Her grandparents, siblings, Graham, Tyler, and Riley were huddled in the hallway. They were no doubt talking about her. They all looked up as she exited the room, and sorrow crossed all of their faces as they noticed her puffy and red eyes.
Emma cleared her throat. "I am ready to go home now," she quietly told them.
Riley stepped forward as she wrung her hands together. "Emma...I...I owe you an apology. I shouldn't have kept the truth from you. I just didn't know how to tell you...and I didn't want to tell you. I didn't want to put that burden on you, but you deserved to know and I lied to you. I'm so sorry."
"It's okay," Emma stated. "I would have done the same if I was in your shoes. I don't blame you for anything." She stepped forward and pulled the girl into a tight hug. "You stepped up to be the leader in an impossible situation. I'm so proud of you. I'm glad that I had the chance to know you, and I consider you a friend." She pulled back and tilted the girl's face up. "And you know what? Your father would be so proud of you."
Riley had tears forming in her eyes. "Thank you. All I have ever wanted was to make others proud."
Emma have her a small smile. "You always have, Riley." She gave the girl one more quick hug before she stepped towards Tyler. She moved towards the boy and place her hands on his shoulders.
"I wish I had known you," he quietly said.
"Well, now you do," Emma replied. "You are so much like your father. He loves you a lot, and not a day goes by that he doesn't miss you. When he tells me about you and your sister, he is so proud. I don't want you to ever doubt that. You are a great kid, and it is not fair that you were taken before your time. I am honored to know you, Tyler."
He smiled at her before throwing his arms around her. She hugged him back without a second thought, grateful to have met the boy August adored so much.
As she broke away from Tyler, she turned her gaze towards her four grandparents. They all gave her sad smiles as they shuffled towards her. Emma felt fresh tears roll down her face as she stared at the grandparents she had never grown up with. They would have spoiled her to no end, but they all were taken before their time. She had never experienced what it was like to have a grandparent, and that was something she had always yearned for. And right now, she had them all in front of her and she was grateful for that. She had the chance to meet them, even if it was only for a little while, and that was all that she could ask for.
Eva stepped forward and took a deep breath. "Emma, on behalf of us all, I would like to say how happy we are to have met you. My Snow always wanted to be a mother, and I know that your dad always wanted to be a father. They wanted you so much, and we wanted that for them."
"I was lucky enough to see them marry one another for the first time," Ruth stated as she joined Eva. "Other than that, none of us really got to see your family come together. As parents, we always desired to see our children find their happy endings."
Eva clasped her hands in front of her as she looked at her granddaughter. "Meeting you has been a dream come true. We all wanted grandchildren, and we were afraid that we would have to wait years to meet you. Having this time has been more than we could ever ask for. You are an amazing woman, Emma."
"We adore and love you, Emma," Ruth said with a voice thick with emotion.
Eva stepped forward with a smile and placed her fingers under Emma's chin. "You, my dear, remind me so much if your mother. Your beauty, your fight, everything. I love my daughter so much, and knowing that she created such a wonderful young woman makes me so proud. You are an incredible girl, and don't you ever forget it." She placed a soft kiss against Emma's forehead. Emma felt her lip quiver as her grandmother pulled away and stepped back next to her husband.
Ruth pulled Emma into a hug and tightly held her for a moment. "My son always wanted you. And I always wanted him to be happy. You are everything I had hoped for, and I love you so much, sweetheart. You make me proud." Ruth pulled away and wiped away the tears that were trickling down Emma's face. "Goodbye, my dear."
Emma had stopped fighting her emotions as she said her goodbyes. This was her family, and she hated being separated from them once more.
Her grandfathers were not men of many words, so their goodbyes mainly consisted of loving embraces. They each told her they loved her and they were proud of her, and while they weren't long speeches, they were exactly what she needed to hear from them.
After she had parted from her grandparents, she turned towards the three goodbyes that she was dreading most of all. Her siblings.
She took a few slow steps toward them before they all moved towards her. Next thing she knew, she was surrounded in a massive group hug. She let out a small sob the second she heard Eva's quiet cries.
"Hey guys, hey," she mumbled as she looked up at all of them. She took Eva's face in her hands and looked into her sister's eyes. "I will see you again. And no matter where I am, I will always be your sister. No matter where we all are, I will always be with you." She took her hand and placed it over Eva's heart. "I'll always be right here, and more importantly, so will Mom and Dad. They will always love you all so much, and I never want you to forget that. You all matter so much, and you will always be a part of our family."
"We love you, Emma," Leo told her as he gave her a hug of his own.
"And I love all of you. So, so, much." Emma cleared her throat as she turned to Michael and placed her hands on his cheeks. "Remember what I told you. You are good enough, and you alway will be, Michael."
He bit his lip as he pulled her into his arms. "Thank you, Emma. You've given me peace. You will never know what that means to me."
Emma gave them all one final hug before stepping back. She wiped away her tears, but they continued to run down her face. These goodbyes were horrible. These people were her family, and she could barely stand having to tell them goodbye. It was so hard.
"Emma," a voice quietly said, causing her to turn around. Graham stepped forward and took a deep breath. "May we talk in private?"
She gave a swift nod before taking his outstretched hand. Graham led her down a few hallways to a small window alcove with stained glass. The sunlight streaming through created colorful patterns across the walls as they sat on the windowsill. Neither of them moved to speak, and Emma dreaded that during this goodbye she would have to break this man's heart once more.
Graham had been her first love, probably ever. He had been the first person she let in, and he would always hold a place in her heart just for him. But right now, he had to know that she had moved on and found her true love.
"Look, Graham-" she started, but he shook his head and held up his hand to quiet her.
"I know what you are going to say, so I'll stop you right there. I didn't bring you here to try to win your heart once more. I know that you love another, and I'm happy that you found someone who treats you like the amazing woman you are. I am so happy for you, and even though it does hurt, I want what's best for you and this is it."
"Thank you," she told him. "I'm sorry if I broke your heart."
He shrugged. "It's not your fault. But now, I would like to put all that behind us. I know where you stand, and that's closure enough."
"I'm going to miss you."
"And I, you Emma Swan." He ran his fingers through his hair a few times before taking a deep breath. "However, I didn't bring you here to just say goodbyes. There is something you need to know before you go back."
Emma furrowed her brow as she tilted her head to the side. "There's more? Isn't my fated death enough."
"Trust me, this is something you will want to hear."
She shifted to the edge of her seat. "Well then, spit it out."
Graham cleared his throat a few times as he rubbed his hands together in front of him. He looked right into Emma's eyes and gave her a half smile. "You don't have a lot of it, but you have time. You have time before you have to sacrifice yourself."
Emma gave a defeated sigh. "Please don't give me false hope. I know what I need to do."
He grasped her hands in his as he moved closer to her. "No, this isn't false hope. This is real, Emma. I was Regina's pet in the weeks before the curse, and I watched her build it. I watched her weave her magic into it. She put everything into the curse because she had to hold it together for all of time."
"I'm not following you..."
"Look, all of her magic was intricately placed into the curse. Every detail is being held together by her power. The thing is, now that she is dead, she's no longer a tether. Her magic will slowly start to unravel until there is nothing left."
"I know, which is where I come in. I have to die before that happens." Emma moved to stand up, but Graham pulled her back down.
"You aren't listening to me. Because Regina invested her whole self into the curse, that is going to take a while to unravel. You may not have a lot, but you do have time left. You don't have to die right away, Emma." He moved off of the seat and kneeled in front of her. "You will have to die, and that is unfair. But until the magic runs out, you have time. You have one last chance to live. I don't know how long that may be, but you have time. You have time to pursue your happy ending full force before it's taken away. You can live one last time, Emma."
Her mouth fell open and she gaped at him as his words sunk in. She had time to be with her family before she had to say goodbye again. She had time to do all that she wanted. She had time to make sure that she didn't have regrets. She had time, something that was infinitely precious.
"When...when will I know when time has run out?"
"Storybrooke will begin to revert to the time before the curse. I don't know exactly what that means, but when that time comes, you will know."
Emma leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you for this last gift, Graham. I won't waste it."
"Anything for you, Emma."
She paused before moving her mouth to his ear. "I loved you so much," she whispered. "You showed me that I deserved to be loved, and you helped me open up my heart. You changed me, Graham, and I don't ever want you to forget that." She placed a lingering kiss to his cheek before she stood.
He rose and reached out to cup her face. "I will always love you, Emma." He dropped his fingers and looked at the ground. "But, it's time for me to let you go."
He grasped her hand once more and led her back to the others. She didn't say another word, for she had told him her feelings. She had what many people never got, and that was closure. The idea of losing him again killed her, but she could say goodbye without wondering where they stood with one another. There was love, without a doubt. They had a deep connection that would never fade, and she didn't want it any other way.
Before she knew it, they had rejoined her family and friends. Grief was written across the face of every person, for her time to leave had finally arrived.
She moved to the center of the group and moved around to make eye contact with every person one last time. "I love you all. And I always will."
As if on command, they all replied with one unified voice. "We love you too."
Riley stepped forward. "Now, let's get you home."
David tightly held his wife's hand as they moved through the hallways of the hospital. Henry hung back and walked with the crutch-laden August. None of them spoke a word as they headed towards the room that contained their loved one.
Today was not a day for celebration, even though it should be. Today should be filled with fun and laughter, cake and gifts, and family being together. But it wasn't, because Emma was lost to them.
Today was Emma's thirtieth birthday, and they were going to spend it with her no matter what.
Emma stood with her siblings around her. Eva, Michael, and Leo grasped hands, forming a circle around her.
She had never controlled her magic before, but now she had to. Her siblings were channeling their magic, but that wouldn't be enough to get her home.
"Okay, Emma," Riley said. "It's time. Think about your home, and push everything in you towards that. Your brothers and sister will do the rest."
She took a deep breath as she focused her mind. She felt heat spreading through her as she thought of her parents and her son and August and her home. She thought about what she loved and how she finally belonged somewhere. Her fingers clenched into fists as she filled her mind with the pure and true love that she was made of and that she had felt for the first time in her life.
With a flash of light, she was gone.
"...Happy Birthday, dear Emma...Happy Birthday to you," they quietly sang. The rooms was filled with silence as the last word left their lips, leaving them to look upon the too still form of Emma.
Snow shifted in her chair and kissed her daughter's forehead. "Happy Birthday, my sweet girl."
Emma's eyes shot open, and she threw her head back as she gasped for air. After months of being comatose, she had woken up. She was home.
There was a lot going on in this chapter, and I hope you guys liked it.
Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story through this unintended hiatus. Thank you to everyone who has been here since the beginning and to those just now joining. Thank you for all the reviews, follows, and favorites. Thank you, thank you thank you. This story wouldn't be here without your support.
Thanks for reading!
