Disclaimer: DGM is not mine.

Author's Notes: 1) Can we just talk about the fact that DGM IS GETTING AN ANIME?! Gods above, I am so happy! 2) I have an AO3 now! Don't worry, I will continue to use . While there are a lot of perks to having an account, my original reason for wanting one is that this fic is rated M. And has an unfortunate habit of getting rid of M-rated fanfics. 3) Ha! Sometimes, I can get stuff written in normal amounts of time. So this is my holiday gift to you!

Warnings: offensive (and homophobic) language; internalized homophobia; self-hatred


Allen POV


"Welcome! Come on in!" Road pulled me through the door with an enormous grin on her face. "You can take your stuff up to the guest bedroom – it's just up these stairs, then the second door on the left!"

"Thank you, Road. Before that, though; I brought a mille fueille. I know you're cooking, but it just seemed rude to turn up empty-handed…"

"Oh my gosh!" Road's eyes went wide, "You can make crepe cakes? You have to teach me! Thank you so much, Allen!" She giggled as she took the platter from my hands, and placed a light kiss on my cheek. "I'll take this to the kitchen. Come join me when you're ready!" With that, she flounced away down the hall.

I smiled and shook my head a little as I made my way up the stairs. Road is as energetic as ever. Upon entering the guest bedroom, I couldn't help but smile even wider. She is definitely the person who decorated in here. The walls of the room were lilac, with gray drapes and bedcovers. The furniture (bed, bookshelf, and dresser) were all black. I set my stuff down on the dresser, then made my way back downstairs, and followed my nose to the kitchen.

"Smells delicious," I smiled upon entering, "Also, and I'm sorry for not saying this earlier; you look super cute."

"You think?" Road giggled. She was wearing her hair in two unruly pigtails high on her head. Her legs were covered in gray leggings, and she wore a loose black tunic, covered by a frilly white apron.

"Definitely," I smiled, touching her left shoulder lightly for a few seconds, "Now, is there anything I can help you with?"


It took a few minutes of arguing to convince her that she really did not need to treat me as a guest, and should just let me help her. Once I succeeded, I handled backup and prep work, and let her order me around. It was sort of funny how demanding she became after she was sure she could get away with it. Little Princess, I smiled.

Eventually, though, we did manage to get to a point where everything was either in the oven, out of it, or ready to go in, so we sat down with two cups of Honey-Lemon Ginseng Tea, and just talked. I found out that she loves The Birthday Massacre just as much as I do. (No idea how we never figured that out until now.) I also learned for certain what I'd only suspected previously: that she loved designing and making clothes as much as I loved makeup, if not more.

"So… Allen, do you have anyone you like?"

I nearly spit out my drink. "What? Why?!"

"No particular reason. It's just… I'm so happy to be with Lenalee. She's seriously a dream come true! And Tykki seems to actually seriously enjoy being in a relationship with Lavi. It's the first time I've seen him so… complacent. And I want that for all of my friends." Her eyes went wide. "If you want it, that is! If you're ace, or aro, or just don't want a relationship, that's cool too, of course! And if that's the case, I'll stop bothering you about this type of stuff." She winked at me. "But if you do want a relationship, I'm more than happy to play matchmaker, you understand."

I smiled back at her for a moment, then looked down at my mug. I think I did a pretty good job of maintaining my calm demeanor, but inside, my thoughts were racing a mile a minute.

You can't tell her anything! She'll think you're a freak, a fag! Why would she ever want to associate herself with a tainted piece of trash like you?

Because Road's not like that! She's smart, and funny, and kind! In all the time I've known her, she's never once given me a reason to distrust her! She's loyal and sweet, and the truest friend I've ever known!

How can you be sure she's your friend? You should know better – the world isn't that kind! Everyone is only in it for themselves! They're nice while it's convenient, they use you, then abandon your worthless ass when they realize how much work, how pointless it is to be with you! You're more effort than you're worth. And your ~precious Road~ will only be here while it's convenient!

No – you're wrong! She has more love, more compassion inside of her little frame than should be able to fit in a galaxy, much less a human being!

"…Allen? Are you all right?"

"What?" I snapped back to reality to find Road frowning at me, concerned. "Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry. Just thinking."

"What about? …If you don't mind me asking."

"Just… people," I said, my heart still racing. I looked at Road, biting my lip. It's all right. She won't judge you. This girl, of all people, never would. I took a deep breath. "There is… someone I like," I managed to whisper.

In a split second, Road's face went from mildly concerned to grin-breaking-her-face happy. "Oh my gosh! Who? Who? Tell me, Allen, please!?"

I laughed, despite myself. Nothing was okay; I was afraid of her rejection, afraid that others would find out, afraid he would find out, terrified of my own mind. And yet, like so many times before, I found myself unable to resist those excited, pleading eyes.

"Kanda."

Her eyes went wide, and her jaw dropped. I felt fear course through me. Holyshitshe'sgoingtorejectme.

Then she squealed and launched herself at me, pulling me forward to hug me awkwardly over the table. "O. M. G! I knew you two were perfect for each other!" She moved away and settled back into her chair, and I leaned back as well. "Sorry about that, Allen. I just got so excited! You and Kanda would be so perfect together! Oh, my gosh!" She squirmed in her seat, hands on glowing cheeks, still smiling like there was no tomorrow. Then her face took on a mischievous smirk, and she leaned forward to rest her elbows on the table, and her chin in her hands. "So," she began conspiratorially, "Tell me, Allen, what exactly it is you like about him."

I really couldn't help it; I smiled. "Well…"


"Heya Road!"

"What's up, Princess?"

"Hello, Jasdero. Devitto, I am not a princess. If you insist on calling me one, then I would ask that you treat me the way you would an actual princess – in other words, not make me spend the whole day in the kitchen and then turn up just in time for dinner without having helped at all."

I overheard the conversation from the kitchen, which came about when Road went to open the door after we heard knocking. Looks like it's a good thing I didn't call her a princess to her face, then.

I heard them make their way through the house to the kitchen, then Road stepped aside and introduced us to each other. "Jasdevi, this is Allen Walker. Allen, this is Jasdero, and this is Devitto," she said, gesturing at each of us in turn, "They're my cousins. If you want to talk to them both, go ahead and call them Jasdevi."

Jasdevi wore loose, flowy sweaters of navy blue, and black slacks. Devitto's sweater had a deeper, looser neckline, and fur trim. His hair was short and black, and he wore heavy black makeup on his eyes. Jasdero's hair was long, blond and wavy.

"Heya, Allen! I'm Devitto! I use he/him/his pronouns."

"Nice to meet you, Devitto. I use he/him/his as well." I turned to the blonde, "What are your pronouns, Jasdero?"

"I use she/her/hers, but they/them/theirs is okay, too," Jasdero informed me stiffly.

I smiled and nodded. "It's nice to meet you."

She smiled back, and I had the distinct feeling I'd just passed some sort of test. "I like 'im!" Jasdero laughed, facing Road.

"I told you he was cool."

"You did. But now that we've ascertained that for ourselves, can we eat?"

"No! We're going to wait for Lenalee! However, since you two are here now, you can go ahead and set the table for five people. Since Allen and I have been cooking all day, we shall sit and continue to relax a bit after our toils."

"Yes, your highness," Devitto intoned, offering a mock bow mirrored by his sibling. Road just raised an eyebrow, and they sauntered off.

"Jeez," she sighed, "I love them to death, but those two can be a handful."

"They seem cool to me," I shrugged. My initial impression of them had been pretty positive. Opening with pronouns? Definitely a cool move. "Are they twins?"

"Yes, they are. And just you wait. They can be even wilder than Tykki."

Just then the doorbell rang, and Road shot out of her seat, happiness written across her features. "Sorry, Allen, I'll be right back. That's got to be Lenalee."

I smiled as she dashed off. It's adorable how much she cares.


The rest of the evening was enjoyable, and much less emotionally nerve-wracking than the day as a whole had been. We ate till we were all groaning, then spent an hour lounging around in Road's living room recovering from the amounts of food we consumed. Lenalee stayed with us, though I'm pretty sure she ate a lot less than the rest of us. Her recital is only about a week away now, so I guess this is crunch time, including for her figure. Once I'd recovered from my food coma I helped her out with the dishes, much to Road's annoyance. She insisted that her "guests shouldn't be doing the cleaning up", but was still too full to move and help us. We assured her that it was absolutely fine.

I quite enjoyed talking alone with Lenalee, actually. We're part of the same friend group, obviously, but it's just that: a friend group. I don't really have many opportunities to talk to Lenalee alone. So we talked about classes (I didn't realize AP English was her favorite), music (apparently she likes classical music, particularly Tchaikovsky, which isn't really a shock), and she gushed for 10 minutes straight about Road. It was adorable.

Afterwards, we rejoined the others, and talked until late. Road had been right – Jasdero and Devitto turned out to be awesome people. And they were alternative as Hell, so we bonded over that, too. Devitto took off his sweater to show us that he was wearing a Black Veil Brides tank-top underneath, which made Road roll her eyes and attempt to hide a grin. Jasdero ended up rolling on the floor with laughter.

In fact, Jasdero spent a lot of the evening laughing. I almost thought she was high, but Road assured me that was not the case, and Jasdero was "just that type of person". I ended up exchanging phone numbers with both members of Jasdevi, actually. I also came to understand why Road introduced them that way. To say they're on the same wavelength would be a massive understatement. They have serious Twin Powers.

I honestly don't think any of us ever made it to a bed. We all just fell asleep in the living room, with The Nightmare Before Christmas playing in the background. Road griped about not having finished the movie when we got up the next day, so we spent the morning watching it while eating pancakes.

I felt happier than I have in a long time.


Well? Come on, admit you love me for that ending.

Happy Holidays~!

Love,

Red