Day 52
I apologize if you prefer Finnick to me and I apologize if you choose to no longer read this blog because I am now posting instead of Finnick. It does not bother me a bit. I am writing solely for my own comfort because it helps to calm the incessant jumble in my head.
I hate it. Thinking I mean. Speaking too. Why don't I speak? I've been somewhere else since I got out of the arena. A place where scenes flash across my mind at a rapid pace. I can no longer tell what is real and what is the past and what never happened at all. The thoughts and the scenes sometimes render me unable to move when they get really bad.
It's a little easier. I think being around people I love and trust helps me. I am able to tell a little more if something is real. Finnick helps me. When he's there, I'm calm. The net helped me too. When I tied those knots it was like I was able to break through from the images and that's why I was able to concentrate and speak to Finn. Even though it was only two words it made everyone so happy. That's the strange thing about language; two words can hold so much meaning.
Three words can hold so much meaning too.
I've read Finn's posts. I know. I've always known. Though I sometimes feel like it's just a phase or he's just confused.
Who could be taken with a crazy girl like me?
Certainly not someone like him.
I am up early again. I think I'm going to take a walk on the beach to quiet the thoughts and halt the images. They are getting to be strong again.
I will write more tomorrow. I promise to keep up what Finnick started for me.
Annie
