Pegasus: The Flying Donkey
The man sat in the darkened lab and typed on the laptop. He had already been up all night preparing for his task. Everything he had been working on for the last week had been leading up to that morning and he had no desire not to be ready for what he had to do.
He glanced at the clock and smiled. Today was the day he would finally show Dr Rodney McKay exactly what he was capable of. Atlantis' chief scientist would never again be able to criticise and belittle him in front of his colleagues. His grin broadened as he manipulated the controls and he knew for certain that he was onto something big.
Rodney walked into the main lab at 6am. He rubbed his eyes tiredly to clear the sleep and let his feet guide him on autopilot over to the coffee machine. He picked out his favourite mug and grabbed the handle. As he lifted it up, he took the whole tray with it and three of the other mugs fell onto the floor with a loud crash. One landed on his foot and he gritted his teeth as the noise fully woke him up with a start. He quickly rescued the others before they fell.
He frowned at the tray as he tugged at the mug again a little more gently. It was glued fast to the tray. He gave up on it and looked at the floor. He crouched down and picked up the larger fragments of broken crockery and tossed them into the bin. He left the smaller pieces for the cleaning crews.
He knew his staff would be upset over the smashing of their precious mugs by their clumsy boss, but they would just have to put up with it until the Daedalus next came by. He selected one of the others and made himself a coffee.
He sighed deeply as he walked over to his computer and booted it up. He sniffed the coffee and frowned. He took an experimental sip and coughed. "What the…?" he asked as a foul, gritty substance which tasted like mud went down his throat before he could stop it. He grimaced and put the mug aside.
"Who replaced the coffee supply with that?"
He rubbed his eyes again as he closed them in tiredness. He jumped and nearly fell off his stool as a loud Christmas song started blaring from his computer.
"Once bitten… twice shy… I keep my distance but you still catch my eye…"
He fumbled to turn off the sound and when it was finally silenced his heart was pounding in fright. He scrubbed a hand through his short hair in exasperation and mumbled, "Well that's one way to wake up…"
He was just about to open and check his emails when his radio buzzed.
"McKay, please report to level 13 room F."
"What now?!" He said in exasperation. He slammed his laptop closed and tucked it under his arm. He tapped his radio and answered angrily, "On my way. And this better be good!"
Rodney stood in the doorway and folded his arms over his chest as the water dripped from him and ran down onto the floor from his drenched clothes. He closed his eyes and said out loud, "One… two… three…"
His laptop suddenly beeped loudly to indicate an incoming appointment reminder.
"…four… five… six…"
The computer beeped again and the noise kept growing in volume. He sighed as he flipped it open and hoped he would not be electrocuted while he checked it.
He read through the received message and huffed an annoyed breath. He had drawn the short straw for Jumper maintenance that morning. He did not remember putting the reminder in his calendar to start at 6.30am, but he shrugged it off. Zelenka had probably done it. Anyway, if he started early he could be finished by lunchtime so that he could move onto more important projects.
Rodney glanced down at his soaked clothes and shivered. He closed his eyes sadly and than ran from the room and back to his quarters.
The man in the lab clicked and clacked on his laptop as he listened to Wham's 'Last Christmas' through the headphones. He smiled as he ran his final checks and brought up his program ready for his plan. He glanced at his playlist and chuckled when he saw the next song was Slade's 'Merry Christmas Everybody;' another of his favourites.
A few minutes later, Rodney was back in his quarters, towelling off his hair. He quickly changed out of his damp clothes and then dashed to the transporter. He stepped out into the Jumper bay a moment later.
He frowned when he noticed that one of the Jumpers was already open. He went over to it cautiously and sighed quietly as he mumbled, "As good a place to start as any…"
He stepped into the rear compartment and sat down on the bench. He glanced at his watch; it was 6.45am.
Suddenly the rear hatch closed behind him. He put his computer down and stood up to open the door. He was just reaching out to open the hatch when, to his increasing panic, he heard the engines activate.
He looked into the cockpit in terror, but he only had a brief glimpse of the empty chairs before he was thrown backwards into the rear hatch. He cried out in surprise as he impacted the door and was pinned and crushed against the metal.
He found that he could not breathe as the terrible pressure felt like a weight against him. He managed to choke out, "Inertial dampeners?" just before the darkness in the Jumper turned to early morning light as it streamed through the window when the Jumper left the bay.
The inertial dampeners suddenly came back online and he collapsed down onto the floor and panted as his chest hitched and he was able to breathe again.
He closed his eyes and activated his radio, "McKay to Atlantis?"
There was no reply.
He pushed himself upright and staggered into the cockpit. He sat down in the pilot's seat and was about to try and find out who was flying the Jumper, when the middle bulkhead slammed closed and the same blaring Christmas song started screaming out of the comm.
"Last Christmas, I gave you my heart…"
Rodney grimaced and covered his ears to protect himself from the assault.
"But the very next day you gave it away…"
McKay howled with the noise, but it took a few seconds before the music cut out. He was left with an unpleasant muffled ringing in his head where his hearing had been damaged from the volume.
When he had recovered sufficiently, he tapped the comm, but he got a jolt of electricity up his arm for the trouble. He whimpered as he held his burnt hand against his chest and closed his eyes. He tried to use his mental control to fly the Jumper, but there was something blocking him. He cried out and clutched his head as an angry headache flared and made it feel like someone was driving and twisting a knife inside his brain.
The man grinned happily as he sang along with his songs, "So here it is merry Christmas, everybody's having fun…"
He then said, "Okay, launch was fine. Inertial dampeners, check. The interface is holding steady. Now, McKay's going to be really pleased with this one! Advanced manoeuvres!"
He hummed where he forgot some of the words and continued his plan.
Back in the Jumper, Rodney continued to hold his aching head with his undamaged hand and stood up slowly. He looked out of the window. He could see Atlantis far below as the Jumper circled like a vulture soaring high above the city. He tapped the headset over his ear and said, "McKay to Sheppard."
He sighed in relief when a sleepy reply came after an unnerving pause, "This is Sheppard."
"Oh, thank God! You have to help me!"
"What are you talking about, McKay?"
"I've been kidnapped by a Jumper!" Rodney replied.
"Hmm, right. I'm not falling for that one," Sheppard drawled.
Rodney frowned in confusion and frustration, "What?"
"You do know what date it is, McKay?"
Rodney looked at his watch again. The dial displayed 1st April. Realisation suddenly dawned on him. He also knew that he was completely screwed.
He said desperately, "You have to believe me! I'm in a Jumper above the city. I can't control it and it's torturing me. I think it's going to kill me!"
"Go back to sleep, Rodney. I'm staying right where I am, thanks. I thought you were a genius. That's a pretty lame attempt for you."
Rodney scowled and shouted, "Fine, don't help me! You'd better tell the infirmary to be ready though, as things aren't going too well!"
There was no reply. Rodney snarled in disgust and stomped over to the control console again. He addressed it as he spoke, "This isn't funny!"
He sighed and rolled his eyes. He then held up his hands in surrender, "Alright, alright. You got me. I'm the fool, just take me back to Atlantis."
The Jumper remained on its current course and Rodney furrowed his brow, "Please?"
The inertial dampeners suddenly went offline again and Rodney was thrown into the far wall with a crack as at least one of his ribs splintered from the impact. He slid down onto the floor and rode out the pain as he was jostled around by the spinning ship.
He gasped, "I get the message! Please, just stop."
He coughed and wiped his mouth absently. The Jumper suddenly barrel-rolled and Rodney was thrown up to the ceiling and then down onto the deck. He lay completely still on his front as the new contusions hurt him. He rolled over onto his side and tilted his head back as he held onto his chest and prayed for the nightmare to end.
He opened his watering eyes and spotted his radio and few feet away where it had fallen off. He stretched out with a whimper and grabbed it.
The inertial dampeners were back online again, but it was suddenly very cold and the air thinned down until Rodney was panting and gasping. He tucked the headset behind his ear and said weakly, "Sheppard… Help…"
There was no reply and Rodney's breaths wheezed as sharp bolts of pain ran around his ribcage from every inhalation and exhalation. The frigid air misted in front of his face.
He shivered and felt tears running down his cheeks and freezing his eyelashes together. He forced himself upright and trembled violently as he hugged his arms tightly around his body. He stepped up to the control panel and experimentally pressed the console again.
"Gah!" he exclaimed as another burst of electricity burnt his other hand.
He furrowed his brow and bunched his bleeding hands into his jacket. The shivering sent his broken ribs shifting around inside him and he winced as he felt them pressing like blades ready to cut him. He knew that if the inertial dampeners decided to go offline again he would be so badly sliced internally that he would die before Sheppard realised it was no joke.
He collapsed down onto his knees as his legs buckled. He coughed again and spat onto the deck. His eyes widened as he saw how red his spit was. "Not good, not good, not good," he chanted between his chattering teeth as he crumpled all the way down onto the deck and curled up.
The man in the lab frowned and shrugged. "Environmental controls, check. The inertial dampeners are still playing up a bit. McKay won't be too happy if I don't get them sorted… There are still a few more systems I haven't used yet. Okay let's have a look…"
As Rodney lay on the floor of the Jumper in pain and misery, he glanced up at the control console. From his new vantage point he saw that there was a small box fixed to the base of the unit which he had not seen from the seat.
He rolled over and crawled to the pilot's console and lifted his shaking hands up to pry it loose. The Jumper suddenly jolted to the side and he fell down onto his back. He gritted his teeth and forced himself over to the console again.
The central bulkhead door suddenly opened and the distraction sent him sprawling again as the Jumper shifted to the side. He instinctively grabbed the chair to steady himself and the wrenching motion savagely twisted his ribcage. He cried out in agony, but blood gushed up into his throat and quickly choked off his pained cry.
He saw the rear hatch open with his fading vision and the gust of icy air which flowed into the Jumper sent his frayed senses reeling even as they crashed and failed around him…
The man in the lab frowned as he saw the hatch of the Jumper open. He said, "Hmm, that's a new one. Oh well, no problem…"
He remotely closed the door of the Jumper and sighed.
He was just about to increase the heat in the Jumper, when his headphones were pulled off his head and someone roughly grabbed his shoulders. He was wrenched upright and winced when his arms were brutally squeezed.
"Ronon," he mumbled, "What brings you to the science labs on this fine sunny morning?"
Colonel Sheppard was there too, along with Zelenka and Teyla.
Sheppard snarled, "Kavanagh! What the hell are you doing?"
Kavanagh furrowed his brow and said indignantly, "What does it look like, Colonel," he spat the rank out and continued, "I'm working, something you military men know little about!"
Zelenka ran over to the computer and shook his head, "We were going to test this together later. Why are you doing it now?"
Sheppard frowned and said, "And why did you make McKay go in the Jumper you're testing when it's not ready for a trial run?"
Kavanagh frowned, "There's no-one in that Jumper, Colonel." He tossed his head superiorly and his ponytail swished across his back, "That's why it's called remote control."
Zelenka nodded, "I am bringing the Jumper back to the bay."
Teyla tapped her radio, "Emergency medical team to the Jumper bay."
Sheppard turned to Ronon and indicated Kavanagh, "Take him to the brig!"
Kavanagh stood there in utter confusion. He folded his arms over his chest as he said, "What? But I haven't done anything wrong!"
Sheppard ran out of the room to the nearest transporter with Teyla. Kavanagh shouted after him, "I stayed up all night to finish this project and you send me to the brig! What kind of base is this?"
His voice trailed off at the end as Ronon eyed him dangerously. Kavanagh hunched over. He looked at the ground and held up his hands, "Alright, I'm going."
He continued to grumble all the way to the brig as Ronon stalked behind him and he flinched thinking he was going to be hit by the tall Satedan at any moment.
Sheppard and Teyla reached the bay after the medical team. Carson was pacing around impatiently as the Jumper lowered down and landed. The rear hatch opened and his team swarmed inside.
Sheppard peered around, but he could not see any sign of McKay beyond the crouched figures in the rear compartment. A few seconds later they came out again and lifted a prone figure up onto the waiting gurney.
Sheppard saw Rodney then and frowned at the bandage over McKay's bare chest which was turning bright red as he watched. Rodney had a breathing tube in his mouth and Carson tapped his radio, "Prep the OR, Dr McKay has an open rib fracture and a punctured lung…"
The rest of his speech was lost in the bustle as his team wheeled the gurney away. John and Teyla followed them down to the infirmary and Ronon joined them a few minutes later.
Rodney sat up in the infirmary a few days later. His chest was wrapped in bandages and he winced every time he took a breath. His hearing had not been permanently damaged and there was just a quiet whistle in his head which was already diminishing.
John was sitting next to him and McKay was glowered back at him. He muttered in between gasps, "You ignored my distress call, Sheppard!"
"I'm really sorry, Rodney. The radio didn't work properly and I couldn't get through to you when Radek called me a few minutes later to say there was a Jumper missing. He was going to help you with your maintenance rounds. He led us to Kavanagh and his project and we rescued you that way."
Rodney grimaced as Sheppard continued, "We were actually going to fool you later and all go on much safer and more controlled training flight in the remote control Jumper."
"Oh, wonderful!" Rodney hissed.
"But Kavanagh decided he needed to test it first."
"The little weasel. I hope you've thrown away the key."
John shook his head and furrowed his brow, "He didn't know you were onboard, Rodney. I know he was careless not to check…"
"Too right." Rodney closed his watering eyes and said, "You know he listens to Christmas songs all year round?"
John raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "Really?" he said flatly. "Rodney you do know you're a few days late now for April Fools?"
Rodney looked back at him in earnest, "He does!"
John shrugged and leant back in his chair, "Whatever you say, McKay."
Rodney moved his hand up, but thought better of it. He said, "You know what? I think I'm going to book the morning off and sleep right through until midday next April 1st."
John smiled as Rodney closed his eyes and he said, "That sounds like a good idea."
A/N – There you are. As always, I am grateful to hear what you think and whether you enjoy my stories! I know I haven't updated this for a while, so that was just a little PJM diversion for you. Always remember to check my profile page for info on WIPs (works in progress) and upcoming stories.
