49 – Spreading wings out

Hinamizawa, 29th February 1984

WARNING!

HEART RATE: 47 bpm

The first assault was fruitless. The man was fast enough to dodge her lunge, and to counterattack with his dagger, obliging Alice to back away to avoid it. Even before beginning the duel, she was aware it would have not been a piece of walk. She had seen how quickly he had moved the day when they had met him for the first time. He had cut Mion's kimono before anyone could stop him, neither Kasai had been able to forestall him. And if her enemy was really a bodyguard he knew how to defend himself, and how to neutralize his opponent. She had to be careful.

But in the end her primary objective was not to kill or harm him. She only had to gain time. At the Clinic, before starting to chase the aggressor, she had seen that Irie was on the ground, fainted. But he looked fine, and Takano, too. It wouldn't have taken a lot of time for him to revive and call the police, and even in the case he didn't wake in good time, the nurse would have done it for him. They were not far from the building, they would have found them soon if she had been able to block him, even only temporarily.

If only Mion could react... She would have been a valuable helper, a good fighter like her would have been a godsend. Instead she was still sleeping, as though nothing around her was happening. But Alice was there for her, finally, she was trying to rescue her. If she could have helped her, she wouldn't have allowed him to kidnap her, and there would have been no problems. Now, instead, Alice had to do everything alone.

On the other hand, was he trying to kill her, or did he just wanted to make her harmless? It was hard to say, at a first glance. After all, leaving dead corpses behind didn't look a good idea, for who was escaping... But also taking Mion and bring her where they wanted to seemed nonsense, too. They had a plan she couldn't get at the moment, and maybe they really desired to make her life end. Moreover, the man's first hit was most likely aiming at her heart. He wasn't kidding.

Alice observed the man, to study him and analyze his moves. In that moment he was looking in turn at her, holding his knife high, and apparently ready to another attack. He had seen she was acting seriously, and that she wasn't scared by the idea of a fight. His attitude was showing that he had accepted her challenge. Now he was slightly tipping forward, as to preparing to charge, and-

He ran fast as a thunder, the knife aiming at Alice's neck, in no time the silver blade was next to the girl's eyes, and-

A metallic noise.

With an instantaneous reflex, she had been able to raise her sword and divert his stab, before it could reach her.

Recoiling, she made a step backward, like she was trying not to fall to the ground, but she immediately stopped. He was pointing at her throat, and that blow would have been fatal, if it had been successful. Then he was resolute to kill her. He probably had been told to act so, he had been told to get rid of any nuisance in the quickest way. That mission had to be of paramount importance, for them.

He had been fast, however. Much more than what she was expecting. She neither knew precisely how she had parried his hit, it had been an instinctive defense, rather than a voluntary response. But the truth was that he was an excellent fighter, surely much a better one than her. Defeating him would have been nearly impossible, unless she benefitted from an unpredictable stroke of luck. The best thing was to try to end the match in a tie, until the moment when the others finally arrived and helped her.

She was recognizing that he was stronger than her, after a single assault, even though his knife was perhaps inferior to her weapon. She was already aware her skills still needed improvements, before leaving to Japan her fencing teacher had explained her what were actually her limits. She always loved to think about the next moves, about the next attack, but she did it even when she had to defend herself, and this was bad, because she had to concentrate more on the most immediate matter. She had to be more patient, he had told her.

But even if she exerted to do it, she didn't manage to plug that gap, and it was due to her inner nature. She had started to play fencing because she loved to fight with a sword, in the end. Running towards her enemies, bests or humans, attacking them and getting sure that they weren't able to harm her, or her family, anymore. Even, the ones she cared most were the ones around her, her relatives, her boyfriend, her friends... Not herself. That was why she was more interesting in attacking rather than in defending herself. She wanted to prove to be useful to the others. Being wounded was not her biggest fear, she was far more scared by not being able to give a hand to the ones around her.

Maybe it would have been different if her brother had joined her in that activity, when they were young. Having a friendly duel, where she didn't look at her opponent like at an extraneous enemy... It would have helped her to focus on all the sides of fencing. It would have been nice... But it was not possible. Giancarlo's arm compelled him not to do that, a thrust in the wrong place and his wounds might have opened again.

She had always trained alone, then, and she had never improved her defensive skills as much as her instructor wished. And in that moment they were what she needed. She had to stall, to wait for the others' moves, she had to be calm. Her teacher had explained to her that duels may be won even thanks to a good guard, and that was the case. She had mostly to set her to a defensive position, even if she didn't like that approach, she hated to stay still and not to move, during a duel as well as during everyday's life. In that way she was looking alike not wishing to solve the problem, waiting for someone else to do it. But now she had no choice, it was destined to be a hard test, one where she had to prove she had learned that lesson, and she could put it into practice. The other one was more skilled, in all probability, while technically she showed some leak, but she would have attempted to hide this difference, and to nullify it by making the right choices. She was going to show her value.

WARNING!

HEART RATE: 41 bpm

"You" yelled Alice, turning to the other "Why are you doing such a despicable thing? I'm not talking about fighting against me, I know I'm the one who has challenged you, but rather about Mii-chan. Seizing a girl who can't protect herself, and bringing her God knows where. And don't answer you're just following the orders."

"I'm just following the orders." he replied, instead.

"Are you mocking me? This is what you had to avoid saying! Even because this excuse doesn't save you from your responsibility! Do you think to be a better person, if the sins you commit are done because of what the others tell you to do?"

The other didn't answer, but he attacked again, and Alice had been forced to do another difficult parry. He didn't look like desiring to chat, they probably had told him to do all as quickly as he could, and talking with her would have been a loss of time.

But speaking and gaining some precious second was exactly what the girl wanted, instead, so she said: "Answer me! Do you think your fault will be forgiven, if you claim to be only a puppet controlled by someone else? You know it's not true, you are doing this because you've accepted to do it! It's too easy, to charge other people for what you do!"

The other was still keeping his mouth close, but reluctantly. She could see how much he wanted to speak and answer, but evidently he couldn't. Then, Alice tried to break down this resistance, and for the third time she exclaimed: "You are guilty exactly like Goemon-san and Megumi-san! At least accept this truth, and don't hide yourself behind what they had ordered you to do."

"So should I defy them?" he finally asked. She had been able to convince him to have a dialogue.

"Probably yes. If they tell you to do something bad, you've the right to answer No, I can't do it. You must do it, to save your integrity."

"I owe them a lot, and I swore to serve them. I don't want to put their authority in doubt, I've never wanted to." That sense of honor and duty reminded Daijiro's one. If he had been there, maybe he would have been able to persuade him, he could understand him better than what she could do. But she was alone, instead, so she had to think about it without any external help.

"It makes no difference. Seneca wrote that it was good to defy people if their commands are iniquitous, even if in the past they have helped you." That kind of quote was more like her brother than like her, to tell the truth, but it was also a way to perceive his presence next to her, as if he was by her and fighting with her. She needed not to feel alike being completely alone.

"Seneca? And who is he? A philosopher from your country? He surely didn't know a thing about us, and I can see no reason why he might have said that. You don't care our point of view, and so I don't care foreigners' one. You can't judge me, you come from a different culture. You can't understand what my master represents for me."

"But you don't like what you're doing. I am sure of that. If you did, you'd have answered in a different way, before. Claiming just to follow orders means that you have doubts about them, but that you don't dare questioning them."

"Not necessarily. I may simply not care about them, and about you."

"Is it so?"

The man didn't reply. He was gazing at his knife. Then: "No. The truth is that I fear that my master is trying to do something unfair. Something which personally I wouldn't like to do." He raised his look "But I don't want to disappoint my duty. Trying to convince me would be useless, so don't either start."

"Are you sure?"

"I am sure."

"Why?"

"Because I've made my choice, exactly like you. If this one is wrong, shame on me, I will accept that. But rather, I can see you are not that bad at fighting with that sword, but you are not at my own level. You certainly have already noticed that."

"And?"

"You haven't surrendered yet, your eyes belong to a woman who still wants to fight. I'm not blaming you for this, on the contrary. Going on is a decision of yours. Nobody is obliging you, but your moral duty is pushing you to go on. Can you comprehend what I mean, now? You and I are the same."

"... No, it's not true."

"It is."

"NO, IT'S NOT!" Alice shouted, raging "You understood nothing, because standing here is not a choice... I'm not deciding to deal with you, but I am forced to do it. Because of you and your masters, Nii-chan is not with us, he's going... to die. And the role he had had until now, all the responsibilities he had to carry... They have gone to me. Now I have to face them, now it's my duty to do that. This is the only way to redeem my sins, this is the only way I have to prove I was born for a reason." she restrained from crying. The speech she had begun to convince her enemy had ended to harm her more than him.

"I'm here to help Mii-chan, of course" she yelled "But most of all I'm here because this is the only path left to me. If I take Nii-chan's place, I can allow myself to go on living, because I will prove to have the right to live. Yes, this is the answer. If I block you, I will show to be worthy of staying here. And the way I block you won't matter!" She grinned, as if madness had grabbed her soul.

She wasn't lying, that wasn't a manner to scare her enemy. The darkness she had nursed during all those years was finally coming into light. That feeling was exciting, as if she had found the road to follow, as if she had understood what she had to do for all the rest of her life. Being happy is for careless people, in the end, now she was realizing why her brother was always so sad, and that conclusion was making her like relieved, the burden within her heart was looking lighter, now. It was a truth which was making all her doubts vanish, and the girl thought she would have never reached something better than that consciousness. So, the man in front of him was slowly becoming the symbol of this passage from a joyful youth to an adult sadness, and Alice wanted to finish it as soon as she could. She was ready even to kill her enemy, if necessary. If taking his life was indispensable for being useful to the other, she would have done it. To wash away a sin, she didn't mind to commit a heavier one.

ALARM!

HEART RATE: 37 bpm

Sparks flew over the heads of the duelists, created by the encounter of their two blades. Fast, determined, they both were trying to put an end to the other's life, now.

Alice was a worse fighter than her opponent, the other wasn't bluffing, before. His moves were quick and prompt, and the knife in his hand danced like a snake hypnotizing its prey. A moment it was slithering next to the ground, the moment later it was flying up there, above its target's head. Rapid and unpredictable, like an implacable predator, like the three Fates who were used to cut the red wire symbolizing the human life.

But Alice was a match for him. Technically, she was less skilled than him, but she was putting more grit, and her sword ran forward and backward, like the sting of a venomous insect. That duel was incredibly important for her, and her opponent couldn't lower his guard.

The girl was perceiving how vital was her resistance. The others hadn't arrived yet, but she couldn't say how much time had passed, since the beginning of the fight. She could only remember one, two, a thousand attacks and responses, but there had been so few rest between an assault and the following one...

She was feeling strange. Her eyes ached terribly, making her suffer a pain never lived before. Rika had told her how her brother's ones looked, in that cave... they were like a broken mirror. Maybe it was due to his veins, which had swelled and looked like long dark fractures in each of his retinas... His eyes had got black, fully black. Now, then, even hers were so, maybe. She couldn't see them, of course, but they were brother and sister, so it would have been natural. And that man had a couple of hesitations too, while meeting her glance. Her face had to be pretty scary.

Her eyes had to be black, too, and marked by the same lines. The time seemed to have stopped, around her, making that feeling of strangeness more evident. But therefore, wasn't it an effect of the new Syndrome? Rika, describing what had happened, had hypothesized that it was due to the powered version of the parasite, which actually Alice wasn't carrying inside her body; if they had to make an injection, it was because there weren't simpler methods to inoculate the disease, so the others were safe, for the moment. So... what if it wasn't due to the Syndrome? What if it was something already present in their spirits, inside the heart of their souls? It might be something related to what had occurred to their family, to... to their far past.

Hadn't their great-grandfather made deep studies about the Sympathiae Sanguis? Something which went beyond the human comprehension and ability, something which overwhelm people's own nature. He wanted to find the way to dominate it, to become a being greater than a mere person, but that element was reportedly already present within him, and within his own descendants. Did it sound absurd? Maybe, but on the other hand they had been told about something similar, once in Japan. They had heard that Hinamizawa's inhabitants were descendants from the Demons, and that some of them still carried one inside themselves. So, if there might be a beastly part inside every villager, then the same could be true about her, too. There might be a sort of devil in her, as well as in her brother, but at home they had simply called it with another name. But in the end, what was it? A demon, a switch which could change people, or what? The answer came to Alice's mind in a flash.

It was their fear, which a lot of factors can make grow up more and more, until it takes the control of their host. It was her greatest wish, too... It was her desire to earn the right to have a happy life.

Yes, it wasn't an independent spirit, separated from the one of the person it was in. On the contrary it was a part of it: it was made of fear, anger, sins, desire, instinctive will... The irrational part of human mind which always sees the environment around the individual only as potential source of menaces and dangers, and so it makes it react in consequence. It's the impulse which pushes the man to fight against the known and the unknown he can't control, no matter if the trouble is real, probable or impossible.

In this case, the danger was real, but it wasn't important... In her blood, Alice could feel her wrath increasing. She had decided to replace her brother, and now she was thinking it was good that his dark side had joined her. She was able to perceive sadness and anger at the same time. Now she could really understand how he had looked like that day at the prefecture, when he had annihilated Nabiha. That wish of destroying what was in front of her. That desire to make him feel what he had caused to the ones she cared. She didn't hate her enemy as such, but she hated him because he wanted to hurt the ones around her. He wanted to alter the serenity of her friends, and so he would have hurt her indirectly. That prospect was scaring her, here was the reason why she was finally hating him. She would have destroyed him, because her role was to guard over the others, and he was trying to do what she couldn't allow him to do. The purpose was the only important thing, the way to reach it was irrelevant. And the purpose was not to let Mion in their hands.

"Won't you ever surrender?" she asked him, after the umpteenth assault.

"No." The other answered.

Alice spit to the ground. "I see. Than... I have no choice. Be ready, because I can't see how I could save both their life and yours. You would never give up, neither if I harm you, neither if I cut your arm off. If you fainted, you'd be a menace again once you wake up."

"Hmph." the other replied, caressing his dagger "And would you be prepared to live with this sin for the rest of your life? To be put under arrest, and being tormented by this memory? I have already experienced this... You might go on living, but you would never be happy."

"I am aware of that. But maybe you don't know my destiny had already been decided. I'm understanding how Nii-chan had been feeling, in all these years, hard choices bring painful consequences and responsibilities... I have taken his place, and so his own sins and sorrow, too... He had always been saying he was not supposed to have a joyful life... And I've realized why, now. Don't care about me, care about yourself. Killing you or not, it won't change anything. This... this is the path I've chosen. I don't have to regret it. If this can make my family and my friends happy, I'll go through it proudly, even if this entails the fact I will never be happy."

She was speaking exactly like her brother, now. She was using his same words.

ALARM!

HEART RATE: 32 bpm

Her opponent was now far from her, so Alice could give a look at the girl still fainted on her right. Mion was still there, senseless...

While fighting, she nearly had believed to be alone, against that man. She had forgotten there was someone else near to them, even if she couldn't do anything. It was an invisible presence.

Alice was succeeding to protect her, for the moment, and she was glad to do it. In the end, she was the one her brother loved... Rika didn't need to reveal to her what she had been told by him. When in autumn she had tried to arrange an engagement between Giancarlo and Rena, the latter had finally refused the proposal, explaining to her that she wasn't fit for that genre of partner. In her opinion, he'd better live with someone who could involve him in what happens around him, a more expansive and energetic girl would have been more suitable for him... Like Mii-chan, like her. Rena thinks that if they start to stay more time together, they might take a liking on each other. I guess that Gi-chan will like both of Mii-chan's sides, the joyful one and the girly one, once he knows them well. They would mutually complete: Gi-chan needs someone who can give him enthusiasm and desire to make, Mii-chan needs one who stubbornly doesn't surrender and finds what to do in each situation...

This is what she had told to Alice, that day. The Italian girl was not sure of this, so she had preferred not to horn in on the matter and to observe them without holding up, unlike how Shion had behaved towards her sister and Keiichi. But in the end Rena had been right... When Mion had been obliged to ask for help to everybody, they had often talked to each other about the various issues, and he had begun to appreciate her true nature. And Alice was happy to see that, but she feared to ruin everything by intervening in that story, so she had stayed apart... Even if in this way they didn't know if the pony-tailed girl returned that feeling.

But that last part didn't matter, now. If he had been here with her, he would have done what he could to help her. Then, if she pretended to have his spirit next to her, she had to behave exactly like how he would have in that moment.

If his spirit was with her...

She hoped that. She didn't want to become a disgrace, another time. She was carrying a lone wish, within her heart.

She raised her look to her enemy again, to keep an eye on him...

And she winced.

When had he come so near to her? With an unexpected jump, he had reached her, taking advantage of her moment of hesitation. The regrets still lying at the bottom of her heart had betrayed her, and now she had to parry his hit, she had to parry his hit, she had to parry his hit, before...

...Before it was too late.

But she couldn't.

The knife plunged into her right shoulder, making her crying in pain and letting the sword fall to the ground. With a quick movement, the man kicked the hilt of her weapon, throwing it far from the scene of the fight. Now she was unarmed.

He extracted his dagger, and he contemplated the stains of blood on it. Lots of other red drops were falling from his victim's shoulder, and putting the other hand on the wound didn't prevent it from flowing out.

"Now I hope you will give up." he said, while turning towards the fainted girl and starting to pick her up again "There's nothing you can do, now. Fighting bare-handed would be a suicide, for you." He had considered the fight like closed, and apparently he didn't intend to kill her.

Alice gritted her teeth.

"No... I can't..."

"Keeping on would be useless."

"I CAN'T, I'VE SAID!" she yelled "I've already told you before! I can't allow you to bring her away, I neither know what you want to do to her."

"I've already answered before about that. I don't reveal it to you because I can't. There is not any personal reason for my behavior."

"And then I can't leave you. My brother had given to me a job... Continuing to follow the path he had begun. And since he didn't want Mion to be hurt, I can't allow it to occur. If I save her, even his soul will be relieved, because he won't feel guilty for having tried to do great harm to her, two days ago. He won't feel guilty anymore, and his death would be more serene than his whole life... His life had been like hell, and only because of me..."

"So?"

Alice stared at him, her eyes were red like flames of Hades: "I have not my sword now, but there are rods, and branches here. You will be rushed off your feet, unless you leave her here. This would be Nii-chan's will, so this is mine, too."

He closed his eyes. "Then you are going to die."

Her red eyes still gazed at him, but now also with a glance full of dignity and awareness. And then she answered: "I'm ready for it, if this is my destiny. I am not like Kei-chan, who carries the strength to change people's future, I am weaker than him, and than all the people I know. I am weak, indeed. But I can still taking my choices, and my responsibilities. If I let you do what you want, my fate would be something far worse than death itself, my soul would be tormented by remorse for the rest of my existence... I can't do that. If this is supposed to be Alice Giorgia Serco's last action, let it be!"

She bent forward, and with the healthy shoulder she charged him.

ALARM!

HEART RATE: 28 bpm

With all her strength, she had hit him in his chest, and she had forced him to let Mion fall to the ground another time. It had been the beginning of the final assault, and that first attack had been like a provocation. But she couldn't go on without a weapon. Looking for her sword would have meant showing her back to the enemy, and it would have been her condemn. He would have never permitted her to take it again, so she had to search for a rod, and to use it like a bat. She had already handled Keiichi's and Satoshi's one, a couple of times and for pure fun, and even if it wasn't for sure a sufficient training, it was her only chance. Was there a club, a dry branch, anywhere? Yes, there was some of them, but the problem was that they were among a group of young, thin and slender trees, and the pieces of wood they could produce weren't fit for the purpose.

But she wouldn't have yielded to such a little snag. She couldn't run anywhere, to look for larger rods, the other would have gone away with Mion. So... what about a trunk, rather than a branch? As said, they were thin enough, and there were a couple of them not far from her, torn down by wind or by wild beasts...

No, it was making no sense. They would have been too heavy, anyhow. Especially now that she was able to use only an arm. The only weapon there was her sword, so... she had to pick it up, somehow. She had to make it unarmed for the time necessary to go where he had thrown it, and the only way to do it was charging him another time, until he fell to the grass due to the impact.

I will make it, she thought, I must do it for Mii-chan, for Nii-chan, and for all the others... She got ready for another attack, while the others was holding his knife pointed at her, to discourage her from assailing him.

She had only a chance, if she had failed he would have stabbed her another time, and she wouldn't have survived...

She looked her bloodstained hand. The sight of red on it made her more angry, and excited, and determined, and the ache had vanished like magic.

She started to run...

"Mii-chan! Ali-chan! Where are you?"

A voice blocked her bounce. Was it... Satoshi? It was him, yes, that call came from the wood, no more than a hundred meters far from them. And surely he wasn't alone. Satoko, Shion, Flavia, and all the others... They had found them, perhaps because of the long and noisy fight. Exactly like when they were looking for Rena, they had arrived in time.

Immediately, all the fears and all the anguish disappeared from her heart. I'm so glad, I have been able to save Mii-chan. She thought, beginning to cry. So I am not useless, I am not someone who can only hurt people... I did what I desired to do...

"Satoshi-kun!" she shouted happily, turning her head behind to the direction where the voice had come from "We are..."

"I am sorry, but it seems we have no time. I must go away before they can arrive, and I can't permit you to stand again in my way." A stone-cold voice came to her ears, and it froze her spirit. Exactly like some minute before, she had diverted her mind. Exactly like what her teacher had told her several times, she hadn't thought about defending herself.

And her enemy had seized at the opportunity, and he had stabbed her in her heart.

"Ugh..." Alice tasted her own blood come up to her mouth, and she began to sense coldness. That feeling was terrifying her, she had realized what was happening... But at the same time she didn't know if this was a good or a bad thing, she had fulfilled what she wanted to do, and she was not sure whether there was a place for her or not, on this world. When she was young she wished to have never been born, but now maybe she had made something good, so...

Her eyes were not aching anymore... They had turned back normal. She was not angry anymore, against the one who was killing her, or against herself, or against any other. She had made peace with her regrets. Finally, Nii-chan is going to leave this world with me, Irie had been categorical. We are going to fly up to Heaven, where we will be happy, far from all the pain we had to undergo... But... A tear came down from her eyes People here won't be happy yet, our death will make them suffer even more, and there is still a lot to do, to save them. And instead I can do nothing else for them, now, I can't live for more time, and be next to them. I... I think I did what I could, I made my part. The burden Nii-chan had carried for all this time was just too heavy for me, I would have never be able to replace him... After all, we all knew that, even if Nii-chan and I were twins, we were different. We were one the opposite of the other. But... But then, maybe... I don't want him to show me the way, not today, not now...

If... If my boyfriend had been here with me, maybe I could have done much more... But... I have no regrets, about myself... I would have liked to have him next to me, now, but he can't...

I love you all. And I love you, my dear Al...

The man drew out his dagger, and Alice felt nothing else.

She fell backwards, and she collapsed to the ground. Her soul was not living in her body, anymore.

Her enemy observed her for a second, with a pitiful look: "I am sorry to have been forced to this, really. I wish you to rest, young lady. You fought for what you believed in, and you are worthy of my respect. I hope you will find the peace you were looking for, you deserved it... You weren't valuing yourself, earlier, but you were much better than what my master is, I fear. But I have no time to waste, if I hurry to take the girl down there, I still can avoid the others."

And so, he left the place of the challenge, leaving the dead corpse of his opponent rest. Her body lied on the soft grass, like a person cradled by the breeze and sleeping on the sweetest of all the beds, and her spread arms were like the wide open wings of a marvelous angel.

Because Alice herself was like an angel, now. Her spirit was flying to the sky, and she was not alone.

HEART RATE: 0 bpm