Batman: The Animated Series 'Fan Fiction Love Story'
By Tayla Drago
Episode # 52 - Harley and Ivy
It's another night in Gotham City, and once again the Joker is fleeing the Batmobile in his own car with Megan helping him out, with Harley Quinn in the driver's seat.
"Well, well, on a car chase with the two love birds of the evil Joker and Harley." Megan said to be sarcastic. "They sure make a bad couple."
"Tell me about it, Megan, not like us though."
When Batman said that, Megan had to agree with him on that part.
"Got that right! Tell me something I don't already know about."
Talk about an odd bad guy couple, huh?
"Ahh! The wind in my hair and the Batman and Megs at my heels! It's the kind of night that makes you glad to be alive! Right, Harley girl?"
She tries to agree with her boss/lover while still driving.
" Sh-sh-sure thing, Mr. J!" she said.
When Joker orders her to turn, she protests, but he orders again, and she does so – causing the car to careen down a construction hill. She did try to warn her boss/lover, as Megan and Batman goes downhill too while the chase still continues.
"Hold on!" alerted Batman.
At least those two were fine. Irritably, Joker snaps at Harley to hand him his gun, which she does after rummaging through his bag.
"Hey! Bats and Megs! This is where you two get a flat!" Joker laughs.
He takes gleeful aim at the Batmobile's tires, but the gun turns out to be 'bang flag' joke item. Megan kind of laughs at that part.
"Now that's funny." Megan laughed a little.
Batman gets close enough to snag Joker's rear bumper with a tow cable. As he reverses, Harley presses a button and jettisons the boot, leaving the Batmobile behind as the clown's escaped.
"If you two want the car so badly, then you can have it!" said Harley. "Take half of it!"
Well, the two bad clowns escaped, but at least the other two heroes were all right after that. For Megan, she hates Harley and finds Joker more annoying to her.
"Man, I really hate those two."
"Next time, clown." Batman checks on Megan. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Megan was bleeding a little on the head. "Its just a bump, really."
Batman gets some ice for Megan to have her cut clean off and patch up to heal in time.
"It's best to be safe than sorry, you know?" he pats Megan on the head. "You almost got hurt."
"I've been through worse. But hey, we'll stop them or one of the two either way, right?"
Batman smiles.
"You know what to do if you can't handle it alone, right?"
Megan already knows the drill that Batman has taught her so many times since she worked for him.
"Yeah, I know…anything goes back, I call you right away. On it."
Back at the hideout, Joker rants about Harley's screw-up with the gun.
"No, we didn't get the diamond! The Dork Knight and his lady friend both showed up before we even got to the museum! I had a great shot at them, too. Except...my dear little Harley Quinn handed me the wrong gun!" said the clown.
When Harley timidly mentions that she did get them away from Batman and Megan, Joker sarcastically asks if she thinks she's a better crook than him. She dares to say, 'maybe', so Joker literally throws her out of the hideout in a rage.
"Fine! I'll show you! You'll be sorry! I'll pull a big heist and I'll be laughing at you, ha ha!" she walks away. "Ya hear? Laughing!" Harley begins to run away then slouches and stops. "I miss him already." Defiantly, Harley decides to pull the original heist she planned herself and heads off to the Gotham Museum of Natural History to steal the Harlequin Diamond with Megan standing guard during her jobs just in case Joker or Harley shows up again. Well, one of them does… "Ooh, Mr. J. will just plotz when I give him...!" Harley over thinks that part. "No. I'm keeping it for myself...maybe." She said.
Harley evades the security system with ease, but then the alarms are tripped by Poison Ivy, carelessly stealing specimens from the museum's lab. Annoyed, Harley smashes the display glass and grabs her diamond. Megan sees the trouble to watch Poison Ivy make a run for it, and then sees Harley too going to the same direction.
"(Two robberies…? Harley?)" she sees one more villain too. "(And Ivy?) What's going on here?"
Megan goes to check it out to be armed and ready for anything. The two meet for the first time and exchange words as they are cornered by the police.
"Nice work, Butterfingers!" Harley tells Ivy. "Why didn't you just turn on the Bat-signal while you were at it?"
"I wasn't trying to get caught! I got the cops and Megan to on my tail and probably yours too!"
The two bad girls stay in hiding from the cops and Megan.
"Coulda fooled me! I hate that girl too!" Harley sees Ivy up close in person. "Hey, aren't you that plant lady, Poison Oak-y?"
"Ivy!" she corrects Harley. "Poison Ivy!"
"Harley Quinn! Pleased to meet ya!"
The cops, along with Montoya and Megan find the two girls to make their escape together.
"Freeze!" Montoya said to join with Megan tagging along. "Megan, so nice of you to join me!"
"I'll say, we do pretty good catching bad guys together. This way!"
Harley grabs one of Ivy's specimen bottles, attaches it to her gun and shoots it as a projectile, creating a cloud of gas that disables the police and Megan and lets them get away.
"Stop in the name of the law—Oof!" Montoya was push down by Ivy.
"Not tonight, baby!"
Megan goes after them to have her mask on in time to fire her gun at them, for those two come up with another plan next on their greatest female rival.
"Stop! Ivy! Harley!" she kept on firing. "You two are coming with me!"
Harley uses her gun with a punching glove to spring on out when fired.
"Make us!"
Ouch! She gets punched, leaving Ivy to use her pot to release some powder on the flowers to come to life, and slow her down with their leave-like sharp teeth of theirs.
"You'll never take us alive." Ivy said to wave to Megan. "Good-bye now. Come on! Get in the car!"
Both Ivy and Harley make a run for it.
"What car?" ask Harley for Ivy tears a shrubbery off her car. "Oh, that car."
Megan was hurt and trapped to lose the two villains to make their getaway. As they speed away in Ivy's car, Ivy says this to her new friend/partner…
"This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship!"
With them escaping, Megan was left speechless to put out the monster-like plants 'by using her hairspray flamethrower' to say this part out loud.
"What the heck just happened?!"
Ivy takes Harley to her latest hideout, a house in an abandoned housing development built over a toxic waste dump. As they bond, Ivy is disgusted at Harley's passive acceptance of Joker's abusiveness, and insists that Harley needs to buck up her self-esteem.
"I am not a doormat...am I?" Harley questions herself.
"If you had a middle name, it'd be 'Welcome'." She said. "Let's play with the boys on our terms..." Ivy also injects Harley with a chemical that simulates Ivy's own toxic immunity, which will allow Harley to survive the toxic environment. For their first official caper, they invade the men's-only Peregrinators Club, tie them up with dropped vine creepers, and then loot the trophy room. "That should keep you big strong men busy while we weak little girls...Loot your trophy room!"
"Gee, Red, you got style." said Harley.
Before long, the duo is committing a spree of crimes all over town, enough to draw both Batman and Megan's attentions 'since she told her partner from that night before things went bad'. They also become best friends, though Ivy remains exasperated at Harley's undying affection for 'that psychotic creep'.
"Megan, are you reading this?" Bruce shows Megan the papers.
Once she looked at it, she got mad to tear it up into tiny shreds in anger. And before Bruce could ask her partner/girlfriend on what was wrong…she responds by saying this to him.
"Don't ask…! (Grr…! I hate them both!)"
Megan gets angry on her enemies compare of other women hitting on Bruce/Batman a lot. Elsewhere, Joker is missing Harley in his own fashion: Without her, the hideout has become a mess, no one has fed the hyenas, and Joker can't even find his laundry. When Joker demands why she hasn't come back yet, one of his henchmen nervously shows him the latest headline: 'New Queens of Crime'. Joker is enraged that Harley is not only thriving without him; she's stealing his thunder as Gotham's most feared crook. However, Joker gets his chance when Harley secretly phones him from Ivy's hideout, saying she misses him. Joker plays it cool, simply saying he is glad she is fine, but is clandestinely tracing the call, allowing him to track her down in person. At the same time, Batman analyzes a soil trace from one of their tire tracks, and realizes where they are hiding out with Megan getting a call from Montoya in time, she looked bad.
"Ah, man…!" she was not feeling well. "Tricked me again! Que mala suerte!" she said in Spanish for… (What bad luck!)
"I know, Montoya, I know. Leave it to Batman and me." Megan said to go over to her partner. "I guess you've got something then?" she sees it and takes some photo shots from her computer book. "Alright."
As Ivy and Harley were driving to take their mind off things for a bit, and teaching a bunch of teenage boys a lesson from acting like pigs…
"Well! Hel-loooo!" said boy one.
"I think I'm in love!" and boy two.
While boy three was making odd noises.
"A-oog-ah! A-oog-ah!"
"Arooo!" and again with boy one.
"Excuse me, boys, didn't your mommies tell you that's not the nice way to get a lady's attention?" Ivy asks them.
But they just laugh.
"Oh, and wadda you gonna do?" one turns around to show his bottom pants. "Spank us?"
Then Harley got mad to use something on the boys.
"That's right, pigs!" she raises a grenade launcher to aim and fire at them. "And here's the paddle!"
They did get out of the car in time before it blows up, those two were dangerous working together! As back at the Batcave for those two look up on the tire tracks left on the streets together…For Alfred comes down for Megan to be studying on the car of the tire tracks very carefully, and Bruce seeing the photos of Ivy and Harley.
"Choosing a weekend date, sir?" he made a joke. "I thought Ms. Megan was your only-!"
"Not now, Alfred!" Megan kind of snapped at Alfred for hating the two bad girls so much.
"Oh, dear…"
"Sorry, I just haven't been myself lately. Forgive me." She said.
Bruce laughs a little to tell Alfred the rest.
"This is one sister-act that's hard to follow, Alfred." He said. "Megan just has a hard time stopping them alone, or Officer Montoya either." Bruce then pops up something from his computer. "The only clue I have is the soil analysis from the tire tracks. Hmm. Contains the same compounds you'd find at a toxic waste dump."
Megan then finds out where the car was bought and located at now to hack into.
"I got it! Check this out, Pamela Isley both that same pink car near Gotham's car dealing place a few months back, see? Per this, her favorite hideout was at somewhere to be use to poison and deadly plants that she makes to keep her enemies away; for one of them was at a house in an abandoned housing development built over a toxic waste dump. Way outside of the city from the deadly gas fume with one fire could blow it all up!" she shows Batman the map on the computer. "Boom! I'll get them back yet for making a fool out of me! I still got the moves!"
Bruce laughs after that.
"It's kind of cute when you get angry and then think on something very smart after that." He said.
"Bruce, come on…" Megan felt shy.
"I kind of like it in a woman."
Before they went out, Alfred offer something for the two to bring with them.
"Then may I suggest an accessory this evening?"
They might be needing those…soon enough Megan and Batman gets there first, by crashing through the window inside of the house.
"Not so fast, Ivy! Harley! Freeze!" Megan had her gun out.
Batman shows himself to the two girls as well with Megan by his side.
"Evening, ladies. Playtime's over."
Didn't seem to scare Harley or Ivy one bit on their ends. Huh?
"Land-a-goshen, Harleen! This gentleman's come-a-courtin'!" Ivy said as a joke.
"Ah…" Megan was lost. "Excuse me?"
"Looks like they've got us." Harley said.
The Ivy throws something at the two lovers.
"Looks…like!"
But the two were then subdued by one of Ivy's creeper plants for it was tying the two up together like they were too close.
"What? Ah, Batman! I can't get out!" Megan struggled.
Now they were trapped by Harley and Ivy.
"Poor Batman and Megan. They look all dressed up for those two to date…" Ivy said.
"And no place left to go out." Harley added.
The girls chain Batman and Megan to an old table and dump them both into a chemical waste pit.
"Here we have a typical male dresser and his cute female partner too, as they're trapped and chain up to their dooms of love." Ivy added. "To be no more when we're through with them to go away after tonight."
With Both Megan and Batman looking like they're hugging 'with her on top of him' but weren't, they were chain up with their masks removed.
"And of course, people, they've never looked better." said Harley.
Ivy goes over to the two and says something to them from Megan…
"Ah, Megan, we could have added you if you're not so clingy to your boyfriend a lot."
"Oh, how foolish of me, Ivy…Get real!" she said. "I will stop you two no matter what it takes from me!"
Ivy acts silly around Megan to not have a care in a world.
"Oh, I'm so scared…!" Ivy turns to Batman next. "Admit it, darling. You didn't think two women were capable of bringing you down. Well, one girl to be bound to you, right?"
"Man, or woman, a sick mind is capable of anything." He said.
"A very enlightened statement, Batman. We'll carve it on your headstone and to Megan's as well."
Once Ivy said that, Harley pushes the two into the toxic waters.
"Aloha, suckers!" she said.
Not good for Batman and Megan were sinking in the bad waters and fast for Megan was mad to use her ESP powers to break the chains off her and Batman's to make a bubble to get fresh air in it. For her to breathe again and Batman too as he uses mouth to mouth to give to Megan.
"Megan…?" he was confused.
"Grab my hand!" Megan holds on to Batman to float back to land and removes the bubble in time. "Ah, man…! My powers are getting better every day, huh? Batman, just take a breather."
With him doing that and lying on the ground quick, he places his hand on Megan's cheek to be happy on her saving his life.
"You're incredible…"
"It was nothing really…" she said. "Once you get some air again, let's get the girls a thing or too! And we're not alone either…"
Megan maybe right…Why? As the ladies re-enter the house, they find Joker and his goons eagerly scooping up their stolen gains.
"I hope you realize we're on a toxic waste dump?" Ivy said to Joker's men. "I'd say you've got ten minutes to clear out before the fumes do you in."
Rocco spits out his food as Petshaw coughs.
"She's right boss! I'm feeling kinda-" he gags. "Sick!"
"Hold it in, Rocco!" Joker tells his men to stay strong.
When Ivy protests, Joker gasses her with his boutonnière, but it doesn't work on her due to her toxic immunity. Ivy knocks Joker and his goons to the ground, then drags a confused Harley along with her to make their getaway. As Joker's goons give chase, they are subdued by Batman, who had managed to escape the trap with Megan's help. He stops the two goons of the Joker.
"Go, Megan! Stop the girls! I got these guys and the Joker's next." said Batman.
"Me…? But they're too good!"
Megan was a bit nervous of screwing up again, only for Batman to believe in her no matter what.
"You can do this, I know you can. I'll be fine."
With Batman saying that, Megan gets into her car to give chase at Harley and Ivy to drive off themselves and away from their enemies.
"Okay, Batman, for you to believe in me…I will!" she was ready to drive after them. "Stop the car now, you two bimbos!"
"Bimbos?!" shock Ivy and Harley.
They drive off for Megan to do some car chasing on the streets after running into Batman's Batmobile. Megan fires off using her gun while Harley threw some ball bombs at her to avoid in time.
"Are you two trying to kill me?!"
"That's the whole point you know!" Harley shouted
Joker picks up a Tommy gun and opens fire, despite Batman's warnings about the cocktail of flammable and explosive chemicals they're sitting on.
"Stop shooting, you lunatic!" Batman tells Joker. "We're sitting on a powder keg!"
Sure enough, a stray shot ignites a chemical drum, and soon the whole waste dump goes up in flames.
"Whoops! Dopey me!" he said.
The goons flee, while Batman knocks Joker out and then saves them both in the Batmobile. Megan was still chasing after the two bad girls, speeding away in their car, Ivy vows…
"No man can take us prisoner!"
Then their car is disabled by a well-aimed shot from Renee Montoya's help.
"Alright, ladies...Raise 'em." She said with her gun out. "Megan, do you want to teach them a lesson? Give them a beaten for me too."
With Ivy and Harley's hands up and done for, Megan was more than happy to go up to them with a good beat down to be doing it quickly.
"With pleasure, my friend." She said. "Oh, ladies…"
"Oh, no…" both Harley and Ivy said in fear.
Megan gives them a good punch and kicks to the two bad girls for Megan felt great after that. As Montoya takes care of the rest, they are arrested, and sent to Arkham Asylum along with Joker. With the two good girls of a police officer and bounty hunter winning, Batman arrives to have Joker and his two goons in handcuffs as well.
"See? I told you that you can stop them somehow, and you did." He said. "Wasn't I right?" Megan hugs Batman to know that she was doing just fine.
"You sure were. Let me tell you something, it felt great getting all that anger out of me."
Megan was right about that, and so was Montoya for she finally stop two female criminals with luck on her side today. In Arkham, Joker rants and raves that this is the last time he allows women to join a gang he puts together.
"That's it. Next time I start a gang, no women." He said it out loud at the window. "Do you hear me? NO WOMEN!"
"I think we can still work it out, don't you?"
Harley is hopeful that she and her 'pudding'' can still work things out, much to the chagrin of Ivy, who throws mud at her face. From them being the best friends forever while also commiting crime and sister-like partners for Ivy to see that…Harley will still be with Joker no matter what for him to treat her so badly 'or rather weirdly-like', its love to go around to also have friendship in your life. Women for some, am I right?
