A/N: Ok I am slowly emerging from whatever the hell had me. So chapters still might be slow to come but I will get them out. Promise. I also had an idea in all of that funk to maybe do Outtakes for Tris, Four, Chase, and even Eric from before he transferred. Got started on that a little bit and will tinker around with it more. That might get posted after the entire story has been posted. Or maybe I will use what I have for filler while I am still editing. Anywho...here you guys go!

Chapter 52 - Beyond The Veil

Kat

It wasn't an alarm that woke me. Or the snuffles and cries from a young man who is realizing he had made a very wrong choice. It wasn't the shifting of the other bodies in their beds or the dripping of the faucets that could sound like drums in the deep dark of the dorm.

It was rough fingers brushing against the skin of my back, patterns being traced over where ink is embedded under the skin at the top of my spine. I lay there soaking up the feel of Eric's touch along with how my body is curled with his in what would be called spooning.

I can tell when he gets to the part of the tattoo that is composed of the code. I can also tell when he finds the individual words or phrases that make up the triangles. The triangle is actually three separate ones but the lines are so close together it looks like one.

He doesn't like what he is finding and I knew he wouldn't if he were to see it since finding out he knew Morse Code too. I feel his heavy sigh and his arm tightening around my waist that is draped over it.

He leans in and places a light kiss along the spot, his breath and warmth feeling like the brush of silk. "I know you're awake." He whispers against that same skin when I tried to hold in the shiver and moan his touch caused.

I let out a sigh and hum combined in one and snuggle back against him. "Don't wanna get up." I mutter sleepily.

He chuckles softly and sighs then pulls me even tighter against him. "Neither do I but we have to. Chase and Zach will be here soon and then you have to get back to the dorm after we have breakfast."

The memory of what day it is hits me and I shift, turning in his arms to face him after he loosens his hold on me some.

"What if they don't come?" I whisper lowly, without looking at him. He had started to run a hand through my hair, after pulling it from the bun I had left it in, when I turned towards him.

He takes in a big breath but then lets it out slowly. "Then that will be their loss, in seeing their daughter home where she belongs and happy." His hand moves from my hair and goes to under my chin to lift it. "If they don't come kitten, don't assume it is because they didn't want to. You know how it is with Abnegation right now...right?"

My lips thin and my eyes close for a second as I think of all the reasons they wouldn't be able to come if they wanted to. I open my eyes to see his forehead wrinkled in worry for me and I nod. "It might…."

I trail off and lean into him, breathing him in. He pulls me tighter to him and does the same to me. "If they do come though Kat; I am going to tell you what I am going to have to tell the others when I go down there, or what I can say to you. Visiting day is watched closely, especially for the initiates. It is part of the testing. To see how our soon to be members are adjusting and hints at if they can and will be loyal to their new faction. We watch for anyone that seems too attached to their old factions or lives. Do you understand what I am saying?" His voice took on that tone he gets when he is trying to impart a lesson to me. Not quite as cruel or cold as he would use for anyone else but still hard and unyielding.

I pull back and look at him. "I do. I am happy here, Eric. I plan to be in that pit as me and who I have always been but proud to show it too. I can also say that if they do come I will be just as happy to see them. To show them my happiness in both respects."

He nods and his eyes move over my face. "Just remember what we talked about, Kat. We have to always be careful."

"I'll remember." I reply honestly. It wasn't like that is something I can or will forget. My hand runs through the hairs on his chest, my nails brushing lightly against the skin. A small tremble of his body under my fingers has a smile tilting my lips. "How much time do we have before they get here?" I ask softly and a bit breathy.

"More than enough." He rumbles out before I am pulled under and covered by him, starting with my mouth right down to our centers.

Worry about my parents or being watched is driven out of my mind in that instant and I welcome it.

*****Page Break*****

Breakfast was tense at the start. Eric had went out first after we had cleaned up together and he had thrown on some clothes. He kissed me after telling me to take my time in getting ready. I gathered he wanted some time to speak to the two guys about all that had happened. When I came out Zach had not only the pills Eric had set out but also an injection for the nerve issues for me.

My divergence was brought up but only in them assuring me that they didn't and never had thought I was any of the threat they too were told it is. Sims would wait for another day. Before the off days ended, they said. I knew there was more that would need to be talked about.

Like what they were going to do with the knowledge that Amar is still alive. But they didn't seem to want to get into that right now.

"I'll be ok if they don't come, you know. I won't lie and say it isn't going to hurt a little but it won't make me regret making the only choice I would have ever made anyways." I tell Zach who is looking apprehensive about the whole day in general.

He gives me a smile and nods. "What about your sister? How do you think she is going to react?"

I sigh at that and frown. Eric squeezes my shoulders a little as his arm is laying over them on the back of my chair. "Honestly, it might hurt her more. Those last few years there, certain elders harped on all the eldest children about the responsibility they all had to their parents and the faction. To be there to care for those that had cared for us from the beginning. To carry on in their names and honor their legacies. But I am proud of her. I know she did and does feel such guilt for leaving because of all of that, but she did it because she knew she didn't belong. Others…" I trail off and my lips thin when I think of Robert Black. Poor kind and jovial Robert who was not meant for Abnegation. Robert who had stayed in Abnegation because of the preachings that had been drilled into him driving away the will to do what he must have known in his heart as well. "Others weren't stronger than the guilt being placed on them."

"Your parents didn't believe that." Eric states and the fact that he is just...assuming the best of them...makes me smile. He rolls his eyes at me. "If they believed that, kitten, you two might not have had the strength to leave. But you knew they didn't."

I nod still smiling. "No, they never believed in that. Mom was more vocal about her…displeasure... in that particular teaching. She would often remind us after we had to sit through our weekly lecture sessions that children are meant to soar, to fly from the nest and spread their own wings. While Dad never said he agreed, his silence was his agreement. He was never one to just stay silent if he didn't agree with something but I think…."

I stop and shrug not able to put into words why my father might have been reluctant to say anything to encourage us to leave.

Chase and Zach exchanged some look while also casting eyes to Eric but he seemed to be pointedly ignoring them and sipping is coffee.

Zach rolled his eyes and put his hand over mine on the table. "From everything you have told me, princess, I can only assume that maybe your Dad always knew where you were going. But maybe that scared him because that meant leaving him. Wasn't it scary for you to leave them behind? Wondering if they were going to be ok without you or worried you wouldn't be there if something happened?"

I know Zach's words were meant to sooth me, to point out something, and while I got it there was also something else those words brought out in me. I tried with all my might to rein in the flinch and even with as slight as I was able to make it...I knew Eric felt it.

He also didn't say anything but his nails dug into my shoulder. I smiled tightly at Zach and nodded. "More than you can know, Zach." I answered honestly but I didn't give any of them a chance to question me further though I saw their looks. "I get what you are saying though. It makes sense now that I think about it. He's my dad and he wanted to protect me. Wants to protect me but being in another faction that would be impossible for him to do."

Eric cleared his throat and looked at his watch. Then he moved us both away from the table and towards the door. "You are going to need to get going if you want to spend time with your sister before it is time. Just remember what I said."

"I will. Will I see you later?" I ask biting my lip and wondering how this was all going to work. Being together but not - or at least not able to be open about it.

He smirks and pulls me against his chest. "Oh, I am sure you will. Besides I do have to keep an eye on things today."

He shrugs casually but I feel like he is up to something. He kind of has that same gleam to his eye that all the guys had the night of capture.

I shake my head and smile at him. "Ok then."

He gets in a final kiss that still leaves me breathless. When I pull away I get a smug grin because I see he isn't much better than me. We both feel someone coming nearer and Eric moves away with a scowl before Zach walks forward the rest of the way and guides me out.

We exchanged small talk while we walked but I felt that something was brewing in his mind.

"What is brewing in that beautiful mind of yours, Zach?" I ask quietly as I playfully bump my shoulder with his.

He smiles at me but it is a short one. "There is a lot of stuff you aren't telling us, princess." He finally says his voice low and worried. I cast a nervous look at him and he reaches out to pat my shoulder. "I don't think it means your are a threat if that is what just flashed through your mind. But….there are things that I think you are keeping in because you don't know how to handle, don't want to face them, or because you are worried how we will react. Am I right?"

I look away and take a big breath before I nod. A gentle hand on my shoulder as he pushes and leads me to a small hallway before he stops us. He crosses his arms over his chest and he looks at me seriously. "I can understand all of that, Kat. But what you need to know is that the fear sims, they are designed to break you. Mentally and emotionally. Holding all of that in while trying to deal with those and not to mention the other added worry we have; I am worried it is all going to be too much for you." He stops and takes a big breath. "So I am going to make you a deal, princess."

"What kind of deal?" I ask after he paused and was worrying the side of his mouth.

"I don't keep things from my brothers. It was one thing we always promised each other. But you need someone you can talk to. Someone that will just listen and you don't have to worry about them going off and doing something. Someone that isn't going to try and fix things or judge you. Because princess, you don't need fixing and if anything needs to be done, I know you can do it. But you need to be able to work it out, talk it out. So that is what I am offering you. You can tell me anything Kat and I won't tell Eric or Chase."

I stand there with a frown for a few minutes, millions of things running through my mind. He is right, I do need that. Part of what has been holding me back is that I am afraid more of what they, more specifically Eric, would do once I told them everything. Part of me, a big part of me, is being stubborn and thinks this is something I need to work out on my own.

"It doesn't make you weak to need help, Kat. It doesn't make you weak to talk to someone about things in your past. If anything, princess, it can become a weakness by not seeking out advice."

With a sigh I nod and look to him. "Ok Zach."

He gives me a relieved sigh and smile but then gets serious one more time. "Like I said, I promise to not tell them anything you are telling me unless you give me permission to. I also need to say that the only time I will disregard this promise is if I feel you are truly in danger."

I hold his eyes for a few more minutes and nod slowly. "Ok. But….it might take…."

He steps forward and cups the side of my face, stopping me. "When you can but it is going to need to happen soon."

One more nod and he smiles genuinely and relieved at me before he guides us back out. His mood is lighter as we go and I let it wash over me. Letting it distract me from thoughts of today and worries in general. He leaves me outside the dorm and I quietly enter. It is still extremely early and everyone is still asleep.

I creep to Tris' bed and gently shake her awake. "Tris, wake up." I whisper to her quietly.

It doesn't take her long to blink awake and she soundlessly swings out of bed after giving me a nod. I move to my bed to grab the clothes I had bought to wear for the day, my bag of toiletries with the makeup in it and then go to stand by the door to wait for Tris to join me.

After the shower last night, Mar and Lynn had shown us a bathroom near the training rooms that we could use. It wasn't co-ed but wasn't much more private than the one in our dorm. We would take it though.

We made our way down the path with our things in our arms. Tris was still waking up and I wanted to chuckle because I think my sister has recently joined the club of caffeine addicts.

"I thought we could go get coffee and breakfast after we get dressed." I say with a quiet chuckle.

She gives a small sigh at that and looks to me pleadingly. "Yes, please. Need coffee." She blinks owlishly a few times and then smiles at me. "I think I am starting to sound like you."

Laughing we enter the bathroom and set about getting dressed for the day. I thankfully remember the condition Eric had left me in, so try to get dressed as discreetly as possible. If she notices them she doesn't say anything as we face away from each other and get dressed.

I had chosen a simple black long sleeved tunic sweater that was off the shoulders. The sleeves were long enough that they came halfway down my hand and had this little hole for my thumb, almost making the cuff of the sleeve into a half glove. The only color or pattern to the sweater is a dark grey metallic and black striped pattern that is at the top of the sweater where the material is folded over to be off the shoulder and that same pattern repeated on the cuffs of the sleeves. For a Dauntless touch at the shoulder there was a decorative zipper sewn into the material. It didn't serve any other purpose other than to add a little industrial touch to a feminine top and I had loved it all the more for it.

I paired that with my tight black pants with dark gray accents on the seams and pockets and my boots.

The top was tighter than what I normally wore, hugging curves I didn't think I had. Put with the bra that Mar insisted I get since I couldn't wear my sports bra or a regular one, it made me look like I had more going on up top than I probably did. It also showed off my tattoos perfectly. The one on my collar bone that I shared with Tris and then the one on my back that was just at the base of my neck.

Tris had chosen a long sleeved shirt too but hers had a slight see through effect to the sleeves of hers. It was a deep black and had a shimmer to the material. The neckline was a wide v neck and would show her own tattoo as well. Her shirt was shorter and stopped just after the waist of her black pants. She also went with her boots.

Mar had tried to get us to wear some kind of high heeled shoes but we had both laughed that down. Stating not being suicidal considering the state of the hallways and Pit.

After we are dressed I help Tris with her hair to put it back in the braid Lynn had put it in and it takes us both laughing together to get mine back to where it was. After having to redo it a few times it actually looks really good.

We both do the amount of makeup we are going to wear and head back to drop our things off at the dorm. Almost everyone is still asleep but I see that a few beds are empty. Al and Peter both are gone from their beds.

Linking arms we head to the dining hall. There is more activity in it this morning. Probably from the anticipation of the day. We are both greeted by Dauntless members we have come to know in our time here. Some of them are men who give us both looks that can only be termed as appreciative.

It has us blushing and hurrying to grab our coffees and breakfast. Tris gets more for hers while I just grab some buttered toast with honey since I had already eaten.

"Are you nervous?" She asked me quietly after sipping her coffee.

I sigh as I take a bite of my toast and nod. Chewing, she grimaces in agreement and nods back to me. After I swallow I look to her seriously. "I was thinking Tris, if they don't come it might be because they can't."

She frowns at me, confused for a few seconds before it connects to her. "Because dad is a leader?"

I nod matching her frown. "But not only that. You heard what dad was saying the night before the ceremony. Erudite is stirring up all kinds of trouble for Abnegation but it makes all the factions watch them closely. Also, there is Marcus…" I say this slowly, testingly.

He won't have had time since last night to have talked to her. But I have been wondering lately if Tris hadn't begun to suspect about Four.

Tris' frown deepens but if she has connected anything she doesn't show it. "I never liked him. He….I don't know...there was something I didn't like at all. I hated when you had to serve your volunteer time with him. I was so angry at dad when he insisted you had to for some kind of punishment."

I hold in my flinch at the reminder of that and nod. "You aren't alone in that." I reply dryly.

We sit in silence for a few more minutes and she is eating before she looks to me. "I will try not to be upset if they can't make it."

"And if they do, we can't make it seem like we are too happy to see them." Her head snaps up and she glares at me. I hurry to go on. "For their sake and ours, Tris. Faction before Blood. We can be happy to see them and show that. But we shouldn't make it seem like….I don't know...that we regret our choice…"

I trail off and shrug but she sighs and nods. "I get it. Have you ever wondered about that though, Kat? The whole Faction Before Blood thing? Does it help us really?"

My forehead wrinkles in thought because it hadn't honestly occurred to me before really. I had so many other things to worry about. "I haven't wondered about it. But I can see how it might be helpful in trying to maintain neutrality for factions, especially ours. We are the police and military. We can't afford to have any type of leanings towards any of the other factions."

I take sips of my coffee while she is eating, deep in thought of what I said. She nods at me and swallows her own bite. "I can see that but at what point do we say that just because we want to be able to keep in touch with our families, even if it is just to make sure they are well, it is a betrayal of our faction? I know that for some people it might actually help to be more dedicated because they would know that no matter what their family is always just a email or message away."

"True. I don't know, Tris. Maybe that is something to think more about. Maybe...maybe when we get jobs, if we get something that we could help to make changes, we could look at changing that a little. I don't know how much it should be changed though because like I said, for us I can see it's importance."

The subject of jobs seemed to bring up another topic to change to. "What do you think we are going to be ranked?" She asks worriedly.

I shrug and smile at her. "I don't know honestly but I am very proud of how we have both done Tris. I know we both have given it everything we have. So I will be happy with whatever rank we get."

We don't take much more time to eat and don't get into anymore deeper discussions. We make our way to the dorm where we are apparently going to be addressed by leadership. People are milling around the dorm, all in varying states of nerves.

It is tense enough that not even Will isn't smiling. It seems even the jovial guy I had come to know was worried that his sister wouldn't be there waiting for him.

Both of our beds are already made so I sit on hers with her as we wait for whatever is going to happen.

Eric walks into the dorm and the already quiet atmosphere gets even more so. "Attention!" He calls out. His booming voice ringing out even more in the stifling silence. He pauses until he has everyone's attention, which doesn't take long because he honestly already had it. His eyes move over me and hesitate before they move on quickly. His demeanor is all cold Eric.

"I want to give you some advice about today. If by some miracle your families do come to visit you…" He scans our faces and smirks "...which I doubt, it is best not to seem to attached. That will make it easier for you and easier for them. We also take the phrase 'faction before blood' very seriously here. Attachment to your family suggests you aren't entirely pleased with your faction, which would be shameful. Understand?"

The threat in his voice is clear. The message is clear to me and I feel my sister stiffen beside me a little. She turns her head towards me and I can see her wheels turning. I hadn't said the exact same thing but damn close enough.

I shrug at her and mutter under my breath that Zach might have mentioned it to me. She tilted her head in thought but nodded as she rose. Everyone was rising and milling out. She was following closely behind Will and Christina.

Eric was still standing in the doorway and I had lagged a little. As I passed his fingers brushed against my hand very lightly. Otherwise nothing about his expression or mine changed. It didn't take long to get caught up to Tris and she linked her arm in mine. Bracing ourselves for what we were both afraid we weren't going to find waiting for us.

We shared a look though and I smiled at her despite that worry. No matter our differences, the strain we had in the past and even now, I had her here with me. As long as we had each other I knew we would be ok.

She smiled softly at me, reading what I was most likely showing, and nodded to me in her own agreement.