I'm so grateful for your feedback and hope that you will be able to find time to review the latest chapter. I'm hoping to update again mid-week, but it all depends on work. I'll do my best, I promise. Have a good week everyone and thank you again for your support! It means a lot. X
CHAPTER 52
"Thank you, Colonel," she said as she accepted the very welcome refreshment.
He had already poured a cup of tea for her and they sat at his desk to discuss what needed to be done about Sister Quayle.
"Tell me what Sister Johnson said."
"Much the same as Private Haines, albeit in slightly less colourful language," Grace replied. "She did add that Sister Quayle had indicated to the volunteers that they need not follow my orders, as I am of low moral character."
He hissed through his teeth and his face seemed to lock down.
"There is a name for women like her, Grace, but I would not sully your ears with it."
"Her dislike of us is deeply personal, Roland; it borders on the obsessive. For the patients to be involved is frankly beyond anything of which I'd thought her capable. Any residual feelings I had, as a result of our shared service over so many years, evaporated when I forced the truth from Sister Johnson. She took no pleasure in it, I promise you. I suspect that Margaret called me something less polite than your 'mistress'. Sister Johnson would not say the word, but that was the implication. "
He swore under his breath and whispered across at her, "Sweet Jesus, Grace, you're the woman I love. How dare she, how bloody dare she. Forgive me. And that's what she's been saying to the nurses? She'll have plenty of time to regret her actions, believe me."
"Roland, stay calm. It doesn't matter what she thinks. She wants a reaction because when emotions come into play, mistakes can, and often do, happen. We must be careful, make sure of our facts and then just say what the penalty will be, and leave it at that."
"You're right as usual, Grace. I suggest we see her together mid-morning. It will give me time to speak to the volunteers. Let her sweat it out overnight."
"What will you do?"
"I'm not having another court martial, not after Joan Livesey. Purbright'll be all over us like a rash. A disciplinary warning, on the record, for conduct likely to promote disorder and destabilise the command structure during wartime, and I am minded to reduce her rank to Staff Nurse. Word will get out; she'll lose face, which will hurt her far more than anything else. That should be enough, don't you think? Or should I threaten to strip her of her medal, too?"
"No, Roland, please don't do that. I wish there was another way, but I can't think of one. She must've known this would happen. Perhaps she wants us to take this approach. In her mind she'll probably see herself as even more of a victim of unfair treatment. This has all stemmed from my appointment as Matron. If I'd known, I'd have refused the promotion to save you this grief."
"Would you have truly done so? Would you have bowed to harassment and hatred?"
"To spare you trouble I would ordinarily do anything, but I've dealt with discrimination and prejudice before and I won't bow to that."
He covered her hand with his and said,
"I didn't mean to bring back bad memories, darling."
"You didn't, not really, and besides you could never hurt me in any way, unless you walked away from me. That would be beyond pain."
"And that I'll never do, come what may. Your love is all that keeps me sane, but I am concerned at the depth of her dislike."
"Well don't be; I'm absolutely committed to this course of action, but am so disappointed at the way she has spoken about us."
"Grace, it was insidious before, but now she's openly undermining us, and especially you, on a personal level. You're the nurse in charge. She's eaten up with resentment and jealousy. You're everything she isn't and she knows that. I will not tolerate such behaviour. She's lucky I'm not sending her back home, but we need trained nurses out here."
"I know. Just one thing: don't be taken in by any signs of remorse, Roland, because she won't mean it. We'll need to be more watchful than ever after we deal with her."
"I know, but unless she finds us in bed with each other, she has nothing."
"Oh God, Roland, don't tempt fate. I put nothing past her."
"I suppose that means you won't stay with me tonight."
Grace looked at him, seeing his inner conflict and feeling hers.
"The personnel are used to seeing me here with you, working on hospital business, whatever the time of the day or night. It would be more unusual if we stopped doing so and might lend credence to her comments. I think we should carry on as before. What do you think?"
"If it means you're here with me, you know I'll do whatever I have to."
"Do you want to share some of Louise's food with me? I have ham, cheese and bread back in my tent. I'll go to fetch it, if you like."
"I'll make some coffee; better stay off the wine tonight. We'll need to keep clear heads for tomorrow."
"I won't be long," she said.
"Good. Hurry back. We can have some music afterwards."
Grace went back to her tent and saw that Sister Quayle's tent was in darkness. She didn't stop to check on Margaret's whereabouts, but had she done so, it would have come as no surprise to know that she was with Reginald Soper in the stores. He was massaging Margaret's bruised ego in the only way that meant anything; flattery.
"Sister, you deserve better than to take orders from the likes of him and her. They aren't worth anything compared with you. You're a diamond. How she got that post I'll never understand."
"Oh I know how she got it, Reginald. She's not above using her feminine wiles to get what she wants. She's a trollop and make no mistake."
"Bad apples spoil the whole, Sister. You on the other hand would restore balance to this hospital. Those of us used to discipline appreciate your qualities."
"She's had a lover before you know."
"Has she indeed? Well perhaps you should tell the Colonel. He won't be so pleased by the prospect of walking a well-trodden path, now will he?"
Margaret Quayle's face broke into a slight smile as the full import of, and potential in, Soper's casual comment registered. Colonel Brett might be led by his need for the pleasures of the flesh, but if he knew about her Indian lover, he could not possibly still wish to bed her. He would run a million miles in the other direction, she was certain. Yes, he needed to know the truth about his Matron.
"Reginald, I think you may very well be right. Clever old you!"
"Always happy to be of assistance to you, Sister Quayle."
"However, shall I repay you?" she asked moving a little closer to him.
"Oh, I dare say we shall think of something, Sister, in due course," replied Soper with a lascivious wink.
Across the compound, unaware of events in the stores, Grace quickly returned to Roland's office with the package of food beneath her cape. He was waiting for her. The small table was covered by a linen cloth and the aroma told her that he had made the coffee. Grace placed the food on the table and leant across to retrieve a knife for the cheese and ham. As she did so, she felt him caress her hip and then his arms encircled her waist, pulling her back against him so that she was left in no doubt of the extent of his longing for her. She thrilled at his touch, but part of her brain was still on high alert. Their world was no longer that of Philippe and Annette. The freedom to relax and revel in the moment was not possible within a military hospital, bound about by rules and regulations.
She smiled at him but warned, "Roland, be careful, someone may be watching."
"I checked and there is no one around. Besides it's dark and we're not near the window. I moved the table a little whilst you were away, as well. No one can see us."
"I'm sorry, my love; I didn't mean to be a killjoy. I simply love you so much and I don't want to lose you, that's all."
"Oh, Grace, and you think it is somehow different for me? I can't live without you. I don't ever want to lose you, my darling."
"It's just me readjusting to a life where we have to hide our feelings again."
"I know how hard that is, sweetheart. I want to be with you more than you'll ever know. I couldn't keep away from the ward for a moment longer earlier today."
His hand was still stroking her hip through her uniform skirt and imperceptibly it moved lower. He looked down into eyes which had darkened, and not just because the night had settled around them.
"Roland, pleaseā¦.."
She did not know whether to ask him to continue or to stop. Every nerve ending she possessed was screaming to continue, but she was wary of discovery now that Roland had effectively told Margaret that she had exhausted any residual goodwill, which had existed between them.
"What's wrong, Grace? Have I upset you?"
"No, darling, no," she said reaching up to cup his face in her hands. "I'm worried, that's all. Margaret is a formidable adversary and I don't put anything past her, or Soper, for that matter."
"Grace, I love you and I'll fight till I drop to protect you. She won't find anything. I'll come up with plausible reasons for every second we spend together. I've already said that I want black out blinds put up at the windows to preserve the heat, as it's getting much colder. By tomorrow, they'll be done."
"Have you? Oh, thank you, my love. I've always been concerned about us being so exposed in here."
"Well no longer, sweetheart, and back here we're out of eye-line, unless she can suddenly see round corners!"
His good humour, and the steps he had taken to preserve their privacy, cajoled Grace back into a more confident frame of mind and she kissed him soundly, smiling up into eyes, which twinkled with a mixture of amusement and love.
"So, are we safe tonight, do you think?" she asked.
"I very much hope so and I'd planned on us spending time together; debriefing, so to speak!" He smiled down at her, seeing the familiar longing for him written clearly on her face, and he pulled her close to him, tilting her chin to gently kiss her and ease her concerns away.
"Let's eat and listen to some music, as usual. We should keep to our established routines, which ought not to arouse suspicion."
"You arouse so much more than that, my love." He pushed her further back into the office, pressed her into him and bent his head to whisper to her his intentions for later that evening. She blushed, but pushed back against him, tilting her hips to signal her own need for him.
"First, we eat, or this food will be walking back to Louise's table," she said, clasping his hand in hers.
The food was simple, but delicious, and they ate more than they thought they would, partly because they had not felt like much lunch earlier in the day. They listened to a recording of Mozart's C Minor Mass, one of Roland's favourites, and Grace felt her body relax as she sat with him, their fingers intertwined. She closed her eyes momentarily and then looked up to find Roland's gaze fixed on her.
"A penny for them?"
"I was just thinking how content I feel now, compared with a year ago. I didn't think it possible that I would ever feel this way," he confessed.
She gently touched his hand and the depth of feeling, in his expression, washed over her like a comforter. They continued to sit wrapped up in the music until the sublime harmonies finished. He rose and removed the last recording, carefully replacing it in its cover and secured the top of the player. He moved to the door of the office and locked it, keeping the outside world at bay, and extinguished the lamp, before turning to Grace. He extended his hand and she took it, wordlessly, rising smoothly from her place, and followed as he led her through the door to his private quarters. As the door closed, he moved forward, and unpinned her headdress, putting it to one side, then cupping her cheek with his hand and bending his head to brush her lips with his. She felt as if she was in a dream, swaying into his body, losing herself in the movement of his mouth and tongue, wanting him to hold her and keep her safe forever.
He led her to the small, standard, military issue bed and she sat on the edge of its thin mattress, feeling the iron frame against the backs of her thighs. He knelt at her feet, still kissing her, and ran his hands from her ankles to her knees. She shivered with anticipation, her heart beating so hard that she thought he must surely hear it. As their kiss ended, Roland rested his head on Grace's lap and she ran her hands over it, before bending slightly forward, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, and feathering him with light kisses. His hands worked their way under her skirt, stroking along the length of her calves, lightly massaging the muscles and then gently running back down to her ankles. He did this several times and each time she wanted him to carry on his journey, reaching upwards to those parts of her body, which ached for his touch. He rose to his knees and their eyes met.
"Lie back, my darling."
She did as he said and felt him slowly undo her skirt, as she raised her hips to help him remove it, doing the same a few seconds later with her undergarments. She waited what felt like an eternity and then had to stop her mouth with her fist, as the intimacy of his touch sent shockwaves through her body. His mouth moved slowly, teasing her open and languidly deepening the contact, until she pressed his head against her and rolled her hips, silently signalling him to bring her to completion. He pulled away though and left her, wound up like a tightly coiled spring.
"In a moment, I promise. I want you to touch me."
He pulled off his trousers and undershorts, kicking them to one side, before lying at her side, his leg draped between hers, moving his thigh upwards so that she could press against him. He took her hand and guided it to feel the extent of his need for her. Feeling the hot rigidity beneath her fingers triggered an instant response. She turned her face, searching for his mouth and kissed him with such sensuousness that he felt he would lose himself right then. Her kiss was as intimate and passionate as the act of love itself and he moved to cover her body with his, making love to her with infinite tenderness and longing. He was gentle, yet driven and she gave herself up to the sensations he evoked in her, as his body joined hers and they hurtled to the edge of control and beyond.
Afterwards, they lay, sated, arms wrapped around each other, suddenly aware that in their haste they had removed the bare essentials and were only naked from the waist down. They shared that knowledge with an almost conspiratorial air, recognising the evidence of their mutual need. Roland eased the sheet and blanket around them, cradling Grace to him, happier than he felt any man had a right to be, despite the basic nature of their surroundings. He nuzzled her hair and kissed the top of her head, his arms wound about her, as if he was terrified he would lose her, if he loosened his grip.
"I feel like a giant, when I make love to you."
Grace smiled, moving her hand to hold him, and was about to say something, but then stopped. He caught her hesitation and said,
"What is it?"
"I can't tell you or you'll think I'm being rude, or even disrespectful."
"There's nothing you can't tell me and I'd never think you were rude. I love you too much for that."
Grace's mouth curved into the most mischievous smile as she looked straight at him and teased,
"If you truly do feel like a giant, I can honestly say that you've the most wonderful beanstalk I have ever seen."
They both pressed their faces into each other's shoulders to stifle their laughter.
"From what I've experienced, you seem to enjoy climbing up it!" he responded.
She raised her hand, pretending to smack him, but he grabbed it and forced her back onto the mattress, rolling onto her, and taking his weight on his elbows as he pinned her hands above her head. Suddenly, he became serious and looked at her intently, saying,
"I've realised something, Grace. It doesn't matter where I am; as long as you're there, I've everything I need to be happy."
"I know. I was just thinking that I didn't believe I'd be able to adjust to being back here, after the weekend, but I, too, have realised that you're what makes my world, not the surroundings I'm in."
He rolled off her, tightened his grip on her waist, and pulled her into his embrace, passionately kissing her before they settled down to snatch a little sleep while they could. Grace determined to wake early to return to her quarters before dawn. She wanted to avoid potentially damaging encounters and if leaving him early was the price she had to pay for that security, then so be it. They drifted off, snuggled against the cold, in arms which offered sanctuary and warmth, lying close on the narrow bed.
