Chapter 52
"That's them! That's them! It has to be them!" Raven was practically running circles in their bed, eager and impatient to sprint out into the living room to greet her friend. No, no that wasn't true at all. This wasn't eagerness, It may have been coated in that as a pretext, but what it really was; it was fear, anxiety, and worry all rolled up into the singular question. Was it really her friend returning home? Or the alcoholic shell of a woman who Raven had watched do everything she possibly could to hurt and wound those she loved most?
"No." Octavia growled drowsily, pulling her omega closer on the mattress.
Raven whined.
"No. It is six in the morning, I don't work today, you don't have classes until noon, and we are spending today in bed. My pregnant omega will rest." Octavia and her sealed eyes were far from finished with the short litany of reasons she was all prepped to deliver.
"But! But! But! Clarke is home!" Raven fidgeted. "I haven't seen her in-" Raven left her own appeal hanging. "I wanna go see my friend!"
Octavia pulled her mate over to face her from having her back pressed up against the alpha now to bring the two face to face. "You can go see her if you want, and if you wish, I will join you. But I think it is for the best if we give them some time to readjust. Let them settle back in." Octavia left a gentle kiss at the omega's lips.
Raven whimpered and pouted as the kiss ended. Inching her way closer to the alpha. She wanted to make a counter argument but on some level, she knew that Octavia was right, that giving Lexa and Clarke some time to breathe would be for the best.
"You know what baby? I bet you that in a couple hours Clarke will be knocking on our door, eager to know how your new nests have been treating you." Octavia pulled some spare strands of Raven's hair out of her face and tucked them behind her ear.
"I hope so. I really hope so." Raven tucked her head down, burying her face into Octavia's neck.
"That's my girl." Octavia wrapped her arms around the omega, pulling her in close with gentle loving kisses and nuzzles.
"I want her to be ok."
"I am sure she is."
"I just really really want her to be ok." Raven repeated into her little nook of a home in the alpha's neck.
"I know baby. I know." Octavia did her best to adjust her scent in a way that would soothe her anxious mate.
"Alpha." Raven half whispered half whimpered.
"Shh, shh." Octavia held the omega closer.
"But! But what if-"
"No. She will be ok. I know she will. Clarke may be an idiot, but she is a strong alpha. Now that she knows what giving into those weaknesses did to you and Lexa… she won't let herself slip back into that. She loves you two… loves this family too much to allow herself to falter like that again." Octavia's muscular arms wrapped around Raven were just enough to aid in convincing her; swaying her to believe that the wonderful reassuring words from her alpha.
"My alpha." Raven repeated into Octavia as she felt her mate's fingers stroking and massaging down her spine in just a perfect way that reminded her to breathe and not just to get caught up in her stress and fear.
"My omega." Octavia returned, a soothing growl of a huff thudding through her throat for her mate.
Raven practically crumbled into her alpha, pouting, purring, and clinging back into her mate's strength.
"That's my girl. Let's get some more sleep." Octavia was near sleepily slurring her words as her eyes slipped shut once more.
"Sleep." Raven agreed settling in and snuggling up.
"Good girl." Octavia gently grabbed at the omega's ass, enjoying as it made Raven yelp and press herself against the alpha more.
"Nooo!" Lexa laughed, pulling Clarke back by her hips.
The alpha spun around with a displeased demeanor.
"No! It is six in the morning!" Lexa hushed her lecturing tone.
"But! But! I haven't seen Raven in!" Clarke looked down at her fingers as she counted. Art was her strong suit, not math. "Four days!"
"Mhmm." Lexa gave a displeased look.
"C'monn!"
"Do you know what I would do to you if I were Octavia and you woke my pregnant mate up at six in the morning just to say hi?"
Clarke frowned.
"What would you do if I was pregnant and someone woke me up that early!?"
Clarke huffed and turned away. "Packer and strap or not, that isn't gonna happen so don't play with me like that!"
"I'm sorry. That was nearsighted of me. I didn't mean to hit a sore spot." Lexa's tone was honest but also clearly surprised.
"It's fine." Even out of sight, the action of Clarke rolling her eyes was so loud it was audible.
"Baby."
"It's fine." Clarke echoed, this time much more convincing.
"No, it isn't." Lexa noted, a hint of surprise clear. She had thought it was just jokes and playing, but now it was much more obvious that Clarke was actually hurting.
"It's!" Clarke inhaled sharply, catching herself in a far too familiar pattern of pushing the alpha she loved away at the sight of the slightest misspoken word or phrase. "A sensitive subject for me and… and I think I need to start processing it a lot more than I have so far."
"We can do that. We can schedule some therapy. Nyko must know someone experienced in processing grief like this. Someone who won't misgender you or mess up when it comes to all that." Lexa wrapped her arms around the alpha, squeezing her tight from behind.
Clarke silently nodded, pressing her cheek to the side of her alpha's head as Lexa rested it on her shoulder.
"Thank you." Lexa whispered into Clarke's neck with a kiss. "I know this isn't easy for you." Lexa comforted.
"It isn't. But… I need to do better, share when I feel… when I am upset like that. Instead of pushing you away like I have been." Clarke felt Lexa take her hands in her own. Crossing them over Clarke in a loving hug.
"Strong."
"What?"
"My alpha is strong." Lexa clarified with a kiss to Clarke's cheek.
Clarke wanted to go back to her pouting, but instead, she did what she had to in order to actually earn that adjective that made her heart soar and sore simultaneously. "Thanks love." Clarke sighed and caressed the back of Lexa's hands with her thumbs, offering what little comfort she felt capable of giving in that moment. "I love you."
"And I you." Lexa squeezed back.
"It's still early." Clarke paused. "And I know I got to sleep in the car ride back but."
"I would love to have some early morning nap time with my alpha." Lexa purred into her mate.
"You got less sleep than I did, go ahead, hop into bed and I will lug everything in from the car."
"No, the stuff in the car can wait. I want my alpha. I want cuddles and my alpha holding me in bed." Lexa requested, swaying on her feet with Clarke in her arms.
"You sure love?"
"Yeah." Lexa cooed, urging them both towards their bedroom.
"I miss our bed." Clarke allowed herself to be guided by her alpha.
Lexa chuckled. "You are telling me?!"
Clarke sighed. "I… wasn't thinking."
"It's ok. I just miss it too."
"But it is my fault that you haven't felt comfortable in our bed for so long." Clarke released Lexa's hands and fought the hug to turn around; her guilt and shame pushing her to face the alpha she loved.
"No. I won't have you beating yourself up over this. We were… you were just coming home after such a traumatic experience." Lexa caressed her mate's cheek before kissing her gently. "No blaming yourself. No beating yourself up over it all."
"Ok." Clarke's eyes only betrayed her slightly, allowing only the slightest hint of doubt that she actually could forgive herself so easily.
"Naptime." Lexa pulled at Clarke's arm.
"Wha?" Clarke stirred from her own thoughts.
"Naptime, remember?" Lexa coaxed what bags were still in Clarke's hands out from her grip and then placed them down on the ground.
"Oh, yeah. Guess I am really tired?"
"You are stressed and feeling guilty." Lexa corrected.
"Maybe a little?" Clarke performed her strained smile.
"It's ok." Lexa pulled Clarke close and wrapped her arms around the stressed alpha's worry filled mind.
Clarke's voice raspy with relief replied back in appreciation. "Thank you."
"Of course." Lexa whispered back, pulling Clarke along, dragging her towards their room.
"Aww come on! It's nine now!" Raven complained with an exaggerated toss and a turn in the bed.
"I am tired damnit." Octavia groaned, pulling her mate back towards her.
Raven glanced back at the alpha and growled.
"I! But! But! But Clarke has been home for hours! Hours and she hasn't come to our door like you said!"
"Baby. If they got here at six, then it probably means that they got on the road at three or something. That cabin isn't close. The most likely explanation is just that they are tired and catching some sleep before… Well, Lexa doesn't really have scheduled hours at anything, but Clarke probably has classes to attend today or something." Octavia reasoned through sealed eyes, slowly digging herself deeper into her pillow as she gently urged Raven to lay back down next to her.
Raven huffed and puffed despite rolling back into her alpha. "I wanna see my friend."
"I know."
"I need to see her!" Raven pawed at the bedding.
"You are gonna make me wake up aren't you?"
"C'monn!" Raven nudged her alpha on the bed.
"You evil bitch."
"Are you seriously saying that to the mother of your child?" Raven snickered.
"Heinous evil bitch who hates the glorious beauty of sleep and sleeping in." Octavia corrected through ironclad eyes.
"Baby!" Raven half whined.
"You realize that once this one's here we won't be able to sleep in anymore?" Octavia ran her hand over the omega's belly.
"I don't care! Get up!"
"But cuddles. Cuddles in a warm bed with your mate."
"Seeing my best friend again!" Raven insisted with a follow-up nudge near enough to push Octavia right out of the bed.
The alpha shrieked unceremoniously as she nearly toppled out of the bed and onto the floor. "I hate you." Raven's eyes were now open, and any hope of sleep disappeared with each beat of her racing heart spreading adrenaline through her from the near fall.
"Love you too babe! Now let's go see Clarke and Lexa!"
"You are the worst."
"Love you!" Raven was already not only out of bed but also dragging Octavia out of it along with her before she had finished.
The alpha's final protests failed as her mat dragged her out of the bed. "Fine! Uugh, you are lucky that I love you too damnit."
"Good! Now come on O!" Raven's victorious smile so wide it was almost grating; almost.
"Yeah, yeah." Octavia studied herself on her feet and accompanied the omega along despite the sleep which still clung to the corners of her still half sealed eyes.
"Good alpha!" Raven patronizingly patted Octavia on the top of her head.
Octavia growled back in a playfully displeased tone. "I swear, if they didn't come home today, and this is just like yesterday when you heard the neighbors opening and closing their door!"
"If it is! If it is!" Raven wound herself up, coiling tighter than her coil should ever really have allowed. "Then I'm gonna lose my fuckin mind Octavia!"
"Woah, Woah, Woah." O traced her hands down Raven's sides, pulling her back before she could make her way out the door to their room.
"O!" "Raven whined.
"She is gonna be ok."
"Yeah! Well! How can I know that!" Raven's breaths transformed to terrified pants and huffs with each fearful syllable. "I love you! A! And I trust you! But! But O! You can't know! There is no certain way to prove that she is ok! That Lexa is ok! That our family is ok!"
"Ok. Ok. I get it. I get it love." Octavia pulled Raven close.
"You said she would come to our door!" Raven pushed her mate gently in her fear and anger.
"I know. I'm sorry."
"It is almost nine am now! Come on! Wake up!" Clarke pounced on Lexa, nuzzling at her mate's neck and nipping at her.
Lexa moaned gently, half asleep as she felt her alpha's teeth on her neck. She could still heel her core a little sore from the previous night's wonderful activities, memories of Clarke sliding herself inside her as she felt the alpha's second marking breaking through her flesh. "Clarke?"
"Wake up!" Clarke's brain was certainly focused on something drastically different from the drowsy alpha under her.
"That's nice. More." Lexa extended her neck, offering herself up for Clarke.
"Wake up!" Clarke's eager tone finally cut through to her alpha.
"What's up baby?" Lexa's eyes fluttered open as a blush finally hit her cheeks at the realization that Clarke wasn't waking her for sex.
"I wanna go see Raven!"
"Then go see her." Lexa rolled over, hiding her head into Clarke's neck with shame. "And let this alpha sleep."
Clarke fidgeted, pulling her mate in closer. "I… I'm afraid."
"Afraid of what?" Lexa cuddled up, still resisting the idea of forfeiting any chance she might get any more sleep.
"That! That she will hate me or something! Lexa! I! I hurt her too. You know."
"I know. But she is your best friend, and she loves you Clarke. Probably as much as I do." Lexa settled in to actually waking.
"I know… but."
"Ok. Ok. I'll come with. Plus I'm sure Octavia will wanna know how it all went too." Lexa cuddled up to Clarke, clinging to those last drops of sleepy snuggling.
"Well come on then! Wake up!" Clarke pulled at Lexa's arm.
"You were the one who suggested naptime."
"Lexa!"
"Yes yes, let's go." Lexa groaned as she sat up.
"I love you." Clarke leaned in and kissed her alpha.
"I love you too, and regardless of how lazy or tired I am, I am glad that you feel comfortable coming to me for support again." Lexa pulled Clarke in closer.
"I'm sorry that I ever stopped." She didn't even try to fight the tears that came with that, allowing herself to simply cry into her alpha.
"It's ok. It is all gonna be ok." Lexa patted Clarke's back, soothing her softly. She was immensely thankful for what the previous night's events had done for Clarke's confidence in her gender; that she could cry like this and not be outwardly terrified of seeming less viable as an alpha.
"What was that?" Octavia's eyes lit up, any hint of tiredness melting away.
Raven's voice caught in her throat, nothing more than a croak of anxiety lurching out.
Octavia chuckled and cracked a wider smile as she heard a second knock on the door and then the faint almost inaudible whispers.
"They are asleep, like we should be."
"No. No, I heard something." Clarke dismissed with a wave of her hand.
"That's!"
"Oh! I am good, I am soo good." Octavia threw her head back and rejoiced in being right.
"Raven?" Clarke's unhushed voice traveled from behind the closed door with a third series of knocks.
"Clarke!" Raven yelped, nearly jumping up and down in her alpha's arms.
Clarke's hand shot back, grabbing Lexa's for support.
Lexa squeezed her mate's fingers tight and kissed Clarke's cheek. "It's gonna be ok."
"Raven." Clarke's voice trembled. "Are you up?" It was simply the first thing that came to her mind.
The omega giggled. "Yeah, yeah, I'm up Clarke."
"C… can I come in?" Clarke choked up.
The door swung open, an in almost the same instant Raven came all but flying out, nearly tackling Clarke down to the floor.
"Do you wanna get your alpha off of my omega." Octavia squinted displeased, something about her alpha biology overzealously possessive.
"Hey, Raven jumped on to her." Lexa defended her mate.
"Hey Raven!" Clarke hugged back from under Raven on the floor.
"I was worried about you damnit!" Raven refused to let go.
"I know. I know." Clarke patted the worried omega in the back, rubbing her hand up and down, a combination of soothing and attempting to remind Raven that there was an activity displeased alpha staring down at them.
"You could have called! Or texted or something!"
"Ehh! That is my fault." Lexa raised her hand guiltily. "I tried to keep us focused on each other, not on phones while we were on our retreat upstate.
"Sorry Raven."
"You are back, and that is what matters."
"Baby." Octavia faked an impatient cough.
Raven looked up and realized that her alpha was growing frustrated at the sight of her on top of another alpha. "S… sorry!" Raven hopped back up to her feet and offered Clarke a hand up before returning to Octavia's side.
Octavia growled low and wrapped her arms around Raven, intentionally placing her hands over Raven's belly.
"Oh hush." Raven kissed Octavia's cheek in her attempt to calm the growly alpha.
"Mine." Octavia silenced her growls, but still indulged her alpha instincts, holding her pregnant omega close.m
"Yeah yeah." Clarke smiled, leaning back against her own mate, and looked back to Octavia with almost flattered eyes.
"Keep your hands to yourself alpha." Octavia teased and stuck her tongue out. "This one's mine."
"She is my best friend. Calm down."
"She is an alpha."
"Thanks O." Clarke took a moment to bask in all the gender validation the past twenty-four hours had been.
"So…" Raven's eyes darted around. "Are you ok? Did… did it work!"
"Yeah. It worked." Clarke nodded and looked to Lexa. "It worked because I had this one holding me when I needed her."
"Anytime love."
"So you are ok?"
"Yeah. I think I will be. But I do have some healing left to do. I'm sorry-" Raven had already hugged Clarke fill of forgiveness before her friend could finish.
"I'm just glad you are ok!"
"Thanks Raven, thank you." Clarke hugged back.
"What about school!? What is going on with your classes!? Are you going to be ok? What is going on with that?" Raven released.
"Talked with most of my teachers, I definitely have a lot of work to cram in for the next couple months, and one teacher didn't get back to me, but I should be ok. My advisor said I might be able to get a medical extension for anything my last professor won't accept."
"Good. You scared me damnit!"
"I know. I have class with her in a couple hours."
"I'll drive you to campus, I have class at noon too."
"Yay." Clarke paused. "Now, what about your nests? How are they?!"
Raven's smile stretched ear to ear as her eyes glimmered. "Perfect!"
End of Chapter 52
Author's note: Enjoy my stories? Wanna help make sure I can keep a roof over my head and that I can continue to write and post these stories as much as I can? Consider becoming a patron! Link on my Tumblr: hopefulbadgerjunara
By the way! Wanna talk with more the 100/ clexa fans? Hang and chat in a safe space with other LGBTQ+ folk? I recently made a discord server, you are welcome to join! It's free, and just a place I hope people can chat and feel safe! Link for the server on my tumblr: hopefulbadgerjunara
