Lost and Found
Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.
A/N-thank you for the awesome reviews!
Part Fifty Two-Conversations
Bella didn't know what to think. Her cheek was pressed to Jacob's chest as he cuddled her tightly. He was smiling so wide it lit up his face with joy. He had never been so happy. While she was nestled against him Bella tried to sort through her chaotic thoughts and piece together his garbled explanation. Somewhere, somehow he was under the impression that some sort of mystic voodoo meant that they were destined to be together. Imprinting, she turned the word over in her mind. To Bella it was an odd word choice to describe such a unique connection between beings, if that was what it really was. Jacob hadn't really explained how it felt for him; to her it caused nothing but confusion. Did this mean that their closeness was nothing but a product of some type of genetic mutation? Did that mean that he didn't really care for her willingly, but only because his spirit wolf demanded he did?
Jacob finally realised that Bella had become quiet since his sudden declaration. Frowning, he pulled away from her a little so he could cup her face in his warm hands. "You, okay?"
Bella's eyes roamed his face as if she could seek the answers to this confusing conundrum, but all she saw was the same affectionate light shining from his dark eyes and the smile that could light up a room. His smile faltered though when he noticed that she wasn't as ecstatic as he was. "Are you not happy?"
"I just don't get it." Bella decided to be honest. She took his hands away from her face and stepped back to put some distance between them. His nearness just confused the issue. She couldn't deny the deep attraction she had for him. But his age made her pause, he looked like a man, but underneath the muscle mass he was still a teenager.
"But I explained." Jacob said desperately as he took her hands instead and entwined his fingers around hers.
"Sort of, but…but does this mean we wouldn't be friends or….you know, like we are, if this imprinting thing hadn't occurred." Bella replied despondently.
"Is that what you're worried about?" Jacob smiled fondly at her as he tried to ease her fears. "Bells, I know what's in my own head and in my heart. The wolf stuff has nothing to do with it. In fact I would say it just enhances what was already there." He hesitated a moment as his smile disappeared again. "And you? How does it feel for you?" He sounded so much younger when he asked that question that it made Bella's heart hurt.
"The same." Bella whispered. "But it's just all so overwhelming. With everything that has been going on I just need time to…I don't know." She bit the inside of her cheek in frustration. The words she needed to find to explain the chaos going on inside her head always eluded her.
"But you do want me, don't you, Bells." His vulnerability was killing her. It was only Jacob who could make her heart squeeze painfully in her chest whenever he sounded unsure or was hurt emotionally in any way, especially if she was the one doing it. But the whole imprinting thing had sent her into a welter of confusion. She really did need time to process everything.
"You shouldn't even need to ask that." Bella assured him with a small smile.
Jacob swallowed thickly as he let go of one of her hands and touched her cheek. His hand was shaking. "I can't lose you…." He murmured.
"Hey, that's not gonna happen." Bella caught his trembling fingers and raised them to her lips. "We're both so young and so much has happened lately. I just need room to breathe a little."
"What does that mean?" Jacob asked worriedly.
"It means we need to stop thinking about all this heavy life or death stuff and just be us. You know Jake and Bells." Bella smiled at him reassuringly as she watched his face relax.
"I can do that. We can be just us…Jake and Bells." Jacob agreed in relief as he rested his forehead against Bella's and closed his eyes.
"I need to see you." Leah sounded desperate. Sam sighed heavily as he rubbed his temple to ease the ache in his head. "Sam, can we meet up."
"Can't you just tell me over the phone, I'm kinda busy?" His mind was on Bella and Jacob, wondering what was going on between them while he was stuck on the phone. Jacob had been all hyped up and Sam wanted to know why.
"You weren't too busy the other night when we had sex." Leah retorted angrily.
"Don't throw that back at me, Leah." Sam replied irritably. "We hooked up. I never made any promises."
"Why are you so fucking cold?" Leah couldn't hide the tremor in her voice. Sam's words were like a knife to the heart. She always tried to act nonchalant around him, acting as if she really didn't care, but she did care, deeply. None of her other boyfriends had the same effect on her like Sam did. She just couldn't get him out of her head. But each time she thought she was making progress, he would pull away and act like a tool.
"I'm not cold. I just don't have time to be in a relationship. I told you this and you said you were fine with just meeting up now and then. Why are you making it into such an issue?" Sam questioned.
"You can't be that clueless." Leah choked out. "You just can't. It's obvious how I feel." There she had admitted it to him out loud. There was no more hiding it now. She waited pensively for him to answer, to tell her he felt the same really. It took a lot for Leah to put her heart on the line. Sue had yelled at her daughter to let Sam go and find someone who would treat her right. Sometimes Leah wished her mother didn't have such a harsh tongue. Sue was blunt and never minced her words. Leah didn't need to hear that she was a disappointment and that she allowed Sam to treat her the way he did.
Sam leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. He didn't need this pressure. He really had no idea that Leah felt like that. She had always acted as if she was fine with their arrangement and didn't want to be tied down. "I don't want to hurt you, Lee." Sam tried to soften his tone. "But I really thought you didn't want to be exclusive."
"Well I'm a better actress then I thought." Leah replied with a hint of a sob in her voice. She hesitated for a second before continuing. "So now you know."
"Now I know." Sam echoed her.
"I really need to see you. There's something you need to know." Leah begged. "Sam, please."
"I'm sorry, Leah. I can't give you what you want. I think it's best if we keep our distance from each other now. Look I've gotta go." Sam ended the call before Leah could say anymore.
Bella came back into the house to find Charlie's head bent over a huge pile of paperwork. He had a can of beer next to him and he kept rubbing his hand over his tired eyes as he tried to concentrate. "You okay, dad." Bella asked in concern.
Charlie raised his head and smiled tiredly. "I'm fine. This is part of the job I hate. The admin just keeps on piling up. How are you?"
"I'm alright."
"What did Jake want?" Charlie raised his eyebrows as he saw a faint blush coat Bella's cheeks. He sat back in his chair and studied his daughter carefully.
"Just to talk." Bella tried to sound indifferent. "Sarah and Billy have been arguing again and I think it's getting to him."
Charlie sighed as he thought about Billy. Even though he was his friend he couldn't deny that Billy had a selfish streak. He could never understand why Billy had cheated on Sarah with Tiffani Call. Sarah was a remarkable woman, and Tiffani, well there were plenty like her. He could only put it down to the fact that Billy was never very good at coping with strong women, and Sarah was definitely that. Where Sarah would pull Billy up on his selfishness, Tiffani would stroke his ego.
"Sometimes I want to knock their heads together. It's not right that Jake and the girls bear the brunt of the breakdown between them." Charlie admitted.
It wasn't often that Bella ever heard her father criticize his friend. She pulled up a chair and sat opposite him. "Is there nothing that can be done?" She asked. "It really is messing with Jake's head. He has so much on his shoulders already, it's time that Billy took some of the strain but he won't step up."
Hearing Bella talk like this only made Charlie realise how much she had grown. He rubbed his aching shoulder with one hand as he stretched. He was getting cramps from sitting still for so long. "I've tried talking to him, kiddo. Harry has too. Hell even Old Quil has ripped him a new one. But Billy has a hard head."
"Sarah should punch him again." Bella said firmly.
Charlie couldn't hide his amusement at this bold statement. He knew that Billy was still feeling the aftereffects of the first one. "Violence is not the answer, kiddo." He teased her.
"What about a kick up the butt?" Bella smiled. Humour had lightened Charlie's face and softened the lines around his eyes.
"Don't give Sarah any ideas." Charlie laughed.
"Can't you do it?" Bella questioned as she tried to look innocent.
"Don't tempt me." Charlie shook his head, laughing again.
Sam wandered into the kitchen after ending his call with Leah. He looked directly at Bella, surprised that she was back already. "That was a short walk." He said pointedly.
"Jake had to get home." Bella replied.
"What did he want?"
"Is this an interrogation?" Bella retorted as she glared at him.
Charlie looked at them both curiously, wondering what had sparked off this little tiff. "Calm down you two." He warned them.
"Sorry, Charlie." Sam apologised as he took a seat at the table.
"You haven't had an argument with Leah have you." Charlie pressed when he saw the strained expression on Sam's face.
"She just wanted more than I could give her. I had to set her straight. It was hard and I didn't like doing it." Sam looked directly at Bella when he said this. Her skin flushed again and she avoided his eyes.
Charlie saw the intense look Sam gave his daughter and he frowned. There was no denying that Sam had a thing for Bella, he had admitted as much, but Charlie had hoped that his little crush would fade. But it only appeared to be growing. Sam didn't even seem to be hiding it anymore, and Charlie could see that it was making Bella uncomfortable. He sighed inwardly. It was a situation he didn't want to confront but he was going to have to speak to Sam, especially as they were all living under the same roof. If he didn't back off a bit then Charlie knew he would be forced to ask Sam to move back to his mother, Allison. He didn't want to as Sam was like a son to him, but Bella's welfare had to come first.
Charlie's cell phone went off and he answered it hurriedly, thinking it was work. So he was surprised when it turned out to be Harry. "What's wrong?" His friend sounded out of breath.
"Charlie, thank god you're home. Is Sam with you?" Harry gasped.
"Yes. What's going on?"
"Old Quil collapsed and is in hospital. He's not well at all. They're running tests now to see what caused it. But he wants to see you and Sam. Could you come over to the hospital now, he says it's urgent."
"Okay, just take a breath there, Harry. I don't want you having a heart attack." Charlie chided him. Harry was overweight and often got breathless when he was forced to exert himself.
"Very funny." Harry muttered. "I've got Sue chewing my ear off because Leah's upset. I'm gonna have a word with Sam when he gets here for upsetting my little girl."
Charlie glanced sideways at Sam who was looking very uncomfortable. He could hear everything that was being said. "We'll be over there in half an hour." He promised Harry before hanging up.
"What's happening?" Bella asked as she looked at her father worriedly.
"Sam and I need to see Old Quil at the hospital." Charlie told her. "You're going to have to come with us. I don't want you in the house alone." He always made sure that Bella had someone with her when he wasn't there after recent events.
"Actually I might go and see Leah if you can drop me off there before you go to the hospital." Bella hated the smell of hospitals and avoided them at all costs.
"Okay." Charlie agreed. He grabbed the keys to the cruiser and left the kitchen.
"I would rather you come with us." Sam said quietly to Bella when they were alone.
Bella looked at him levelly before speaking. "We can't always have what we want, can we." She said coolly before storming off, leaving Sam staring after her.
A/N-thanks for reading!
