Chapter 49

The news of their engagement soon became public knowledge, and when she went back to work a couple of weeks later, nobody missed a chance to tease her and Kid for their coming marriage. The couple had already set a date for their wedding and in exactly five weeks from now they would be husband and wife. Louise was still worried about the physical part of their relationship. With the help of Dr. Schneider, she was feeling less anxious, but would that be enough to enjoy a complete marital life with Kid?

Concerned by the matter, Lou had even tried to prove herself that she could be the woman that he needed and deserved. So one evening she had waited for him with the intention of going all the way to the end. She had been a nervous wreck and when Kid had arrived, she had let him know in a very obvious way what she intended. Yet, he had stopped her, saying that he was not going to allow her to turn her back on her beliefs for his sake or just because she simply wanted to prove something to herself. There were just a few weeks left until their wedding, and he was ready to wait till then. His thoughtful attitude had moved Lou greatly, but the worry that their marriage could be condemned to fail because of her problems ate her.

In these couple of weeks they had used the little free time they had to make arrangements for their wedding. Louise had talked her friend Shane into conducting the ceremony. Since Kid was not a Catholic, they would have a mixed religious wedding. Lou just could not accept that he would change his beliefs for her sake...actually, she would hate it if he did so. Lou knew that their different views would never be a problem because they had learned the hard way that they could get over anything they put their hearts to. So the manner they had been taught to regard the good Lord would never be a complication.

Shane had accepted her request and their wedding would be held in the small church that was in the village Kid had first met the priest during that memorable weekend. The priest was doing them a favor and doing the pre-cana training with them privately. They had already gone to one of the sessions they were supposed to attend and due to Lou's special circumstances and past history, Shane was also pulling some strings to speed the procedure. Neither of them wanted a big, fancy thing, but something intimate with just their friends and colleagues, her family and former sisters as guests. Kid had written a letter to her brother, telling him that he was going to get married and wanted to invite him, but the doctor doubted he would come. The reception would also be simple, but they had not chosen where it would take place yet.

The problem Lou had to face in all this fuss of arrangements centered on finding a wedding dress she felt comfortable in. Theresa had already dragged her to a dozen shops in the city, and if it were for her to decide, her sister would have her wrapped in a ridiculously intricate combination of frills, lace and beading. Louise just wanted something simple... something that did not make her feel as if she was wearing a carnival costume. All she wanted was to be herself when she appeared before Kid that day. Theresa kept nagging her, but Lou had decided not to pay her any heed. This was her wedding, and she would have it the way she liked and that was final.

Sitting at the writing desk, Louise tried to concentrate on the book splayed out before her, doing her best to catch up with her studies and the outstanding work. Despite everything that had happened in these months, she was progressing nicely in the hospital and Teaspoon had told her she had nothing to worry about. The sound of the front door opening brought a smile to her lips, which brightened when Kid showed up in the living room. He walked straight to her and softly kissed her on the lips.

"Tired?" she asked as he started to remove his jacket and loosen his tie.

"Very," Kid admitted as he flopped down on the sofa heavily a few feet away from her. He had stayed for an operation which had turned out to be more complicated than he had initially bargained for. "You can't imagine how glad I am to be at home."

"You rest now, and I'll make dinner," Louise offered as she rose to her feet and came closer to him.

"That's not fair, Lou. You also had a hard day."

"No protests, Dr. Kydd." she said, placing her hands on his shoulders as she hovered over his sitting figure. "You know I'm fine and I don't feel tired or anything."

Kid framed her slim waist with his wide hands and smiled. "What have I done to deserve somebody like you?" Louise laughed and sat on his lap, cuddling against him. Kid tightened his hold on her waist and asked, "So, honey, what have you been doing with yourself while you waited for your fiancé to come home?"

"Just did some studying," Lou replied unenthusiastically.

Kid's eyes darted to the desk she had been previously been sitting at and next to her books he caught sight of a neat pile of envelopes. His gaze returned to her and he said, "Lou, you told me you'd send the wedding invitations today."

Louise let out a soft grunt, tired of the same line every day and lowering from his lap onto the sofa, she muttered, "Kid, we can't send them yet."

"Lou, we're getting married in just five weeks," he reminded her. "Or is it you're having second thoughts about it?" he asked with a certain apprehension.

"Of course not!" Louise exclaimed, slightly annoyed. "But, Kid, I haven't told Marmee... and the other sisters yet. They're my family... have been for years. I just can't send them an invitation as if they were mere acquaintances."

"I see."

"I promise I'll talk to her on Friday."

"And why not tomorrow?" Kid asked pointedly. He knew that her reticence had a great deal to do with her apprehension to talk with the nun, and she was not doing any favors if she put off facing the woman.

Louise looked at him with a miffed expression and seeing the silent challenge in his eyes, she crossed her arms over her chest and lifting her chin in a cocky pose, she said, "Fine... fine! Tomorrow then!"

Kid smiled and placing a kiss on her cheek, he exclaimed, "Good girl! And while I make dinner, you think about what you're gonna tell your Marmee. I understand you're a bit... uh... scared."

As he rose and headed for the kitchen, Lou threw him a cushion at him as she cried, "I'm not scared! Take that back right now!"

"Whatever you say, my dear," he said teasingly without turning his head towards her.

"Kid!" she shouted, irritated at his obvious brush-off.

He stopped and turning round towards her this time, he added, "Can you see how perfectly we fit? We are already bickering like an old married couple. We are destined to be together. You should tell her that."

Winking at her, he continued towards the kitchen. Louise could not help but smile amused. He had a way about himself that made it impossible for her to stay angry for long. Besides, he was somewhat right. She was not scared, but it was true that she felt a bit apprehensive of Marmee's reaction to her announcement. That was why she had been putting off the whole thing. Lou knew that telling her the news would not be a piece of cake. Marmee had supported her when she had decided to break her vows but knowing her as well as Lou did, the doctor was sure that her decision had not truly sat well with her. Her opinion was evident in the way she treated Kid whenever they met. Lou was sure that it was not that Marmee did not like him, but since he represented the reason why she had left the convent, the nun had channeled her irritation to him. Marmee could be quite strict in her views, but eventually she would let go and Louise was certain she would love Kid dearly... one day. In the meantime, she would have to do her best to swim in these turbulent waters and tomorrow she might be up for a very interesting moment... no doubt about that.


The following day after work Kid drove Lou to the convent in his new car. Louise remained still in the vehicle for a few minutes, not eager to get out of it and he asked, "Would you like me to go with you?"

"No, Kid. This is something I have to do on my own," Lou replied and as she saw him change his expression to obvious relief, she teasingly punched him on the arm as she exclaimed, "You should have the decency to try to pretend a bit with me! It's not very nice of you to look so happy because I released you from talking to the woman who's the closest you'll have to a mother-in-law!"

Kid chuckled and did not try to reply to her. As she got out of the car, he craned his head out of the window and said, "I'll be waiting for you here. And please give my regards to Mother."

Louise shook her head, grinning and after waving him goodbye, she headed for the entrance of the convent. Like every time she went visiting, Marmee was waiting for her and opened the stout door as soon as she rang the bell. The two women hugged and the old nun instantly asked Lou how she was doing. Even though Louise had been given a clean bill of health over a week ago and had gone back to work, Marmee still phoned her every day to inquire after her health. As the two women walked to the drawing room, the nun went over the same topic once again... how utterly shocked and broken she still was by the notion that an apparently harmless man like Vinnie could have got to those limits, and how sorry she was at the way he had met his death.

Lou listened to her patiently without attempting to join her comments. Talking about Vinnie made her very uncomfortable. She had not completely accepted what had happened. It was something that went beyond her comprehension. Vinnie had never hurt a soul, and Louise imagined that he had not been actually aware of what he was doing that day. Three people had died, and she had almost been his fourth victim, but that was not what kept worrying her. In fact, her guilty conscience nagged her since she felt she could have avoided those deaths and of course his loss. If she had stopped to talk to him when he had asked her to, she would probably have spied the gun and taken it from him. Kid kept telling her that she should not torture herself with what-ifs because there was nothing she could do now. He was right and she should be thankful to be alive... actually she was, but still she could not help but feel very rotten whenever she thought of Vinnie.

While the two women had tea and engaged in conversation, once the topic about Vinnie was passed, Louise found she was enjoying the moment so much that she almost forgot why she had come here in the first place. A silent pause gave her the cue to get down to business, and after breathing in deeply she said, "Marmee, there's something I have to tell you."

"What is it?"

"I... I'm getting married... in five weeks," Lou replied clumsily, but as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she felt a deep sense of relief as if she could breathe better, without the pressure that had been constant on her chest for the last couple of days.

Marmee's face was impassive and simply asked, "To that doctor?"

"Of course I'm getting married to Kid! Who else?"

Marmee ignored her annoyed comment and added, "You two seem to be in a heck of a hurry to wed." She stopped briefly and without any apparent signs of uneasiness the nun blurted out, "Are you pregnant, Louise?"

At her question Lou did not know whether to laugh or cry; she was too stunned and simply exclaimed, "Of course not! How could you even think something like that?" Actually, the comment would not have surprised her so much if it had come from somebody else, but it hurt her to see that the woman who knew her best had that opinion about her.

"You live with the man... so I thought..."

"We just share his apartment, not what you're implying!" Louise barked, cutting her off roughly. "Kid respects my beliefs, and for your information the reason why we're getting married is because we're in love."

Marmee had the sense to look ashamed of her lack of tact. However, she did not stop her inquisitiveness and, as Lou knew, the nun would not give up until she didn't utter the last of her thoughts about the matter. "Louise, are you sure of what you're going to do? Marriage is a very serious commitment... something you can't take lightly."

"I'm completely sure," Lou stated firmly even though she had previously had her doubts about the viability of this marriage. Actually, she was afraid that she might not be able to be a good wife to Kid, but her heart belonged to him and marrying him was what she most desired. "This is what I want, Marmee, what I really want."

The nun nodded and without changing her impassive expression, she said, "You know something, Louise? Those were your exact words when you came to me saying you wanted to devote your life to God. What if in a few years' time you decide that marriage isn't for you either? What will you do then? Leave that man in the same way you left God?"

At her words Lou's cheeks flamed with utter irritation. "That's very unfair of you!" Lou exclaimed loudly, her clear, angered voice resounding in the silence of the place. "I was a good nun for over twelve years. I was very happy during that time and never wanted anything else, but as you told me once, God had other plans for me when He threw Kid in my way. God only knows how I struggled and fought against my awakening feelings with all my willpower. This is not something I sought willingly, but it happened. I wasn't able to do anything against it. I love him and he loves me, and I'm not going to feel ashamed of this. I want to join my life to his. That's all I want."

Lou's eyes were bright with unshed tears, which made Marmee see she had talked out of turn and even offended her. She was a woman who spoke her mind whatever the circumstances and without softening what she felt with silly words, but at the same time she was the first to admit her mistakes. "Forgive me, sweetheart. I had no call to say that. You're right," the nun said, taking Lou's hand and giving it a good squeeze. She paused or just a brief spell and then continued, "Tell me something, Louise. Are you happy?"

Lou kept thoughtful for a few seconds, earnestly considering the nun's question. "I am now," she replied with a smile that lit up her whole face, "since the moment I started accepting my feelings and learned to value what I have. I was wretched and miserable for a while... couldn't understand why my life had to change, but once I learned to accept God's will, things changed..."

Marmee nodded sadly as she added, "Louise, you know that this saddens me terribly. You were the perfect sister... you were so good and could have done so much for this community, but now... now you're gonna be just a wife."

"Marmee, I was never perfect... I'm not perfect," Lou replied. "And I'm the same woman... only in love." She let out a sigh and after a moment's pause she asked, "So... Mother, does all this mean you aren't going to be at my wedding?"

"Oh no, Louise!" the nun exclaimed. "I couldn't miss my little girl's wedding for anything, could I?" Lou smiled ruefully as she hugged Marmee. This was not how she'd have liked to announce her news. Of course she knew beforehand that Mother would not be overjoyed but deep inside Lou had hoped that things would have gone smoother than this. Marmee would come to her wedding, but knowing what she really thought of her decision to break her vows break Lou completely.

Louise did not stay much longer in the convent after that conversation and when she walked out of the place, Kid was waiting for her on a bench. She sat down morosely next to him and after studying her for a few seconds in silence, he said, "I see she's upset you."

Louise shrugged her shoulders in indifference as she added, "Well... she didn't say anything I didn't expect."

"Then why do you look so distraught?" he asked, sliding an arm around her shoulders while Lou rested her head against his chest.

"Deep down I hoped she could understand me and feel happy for me. I know she understands why my life had to change, but she seems unable to share my joy. I guess I'd probably feel the same in her place."

"Lou, that's something you cannot do anything about."

"I know."

They both remained in companionable silence for a few minutes and then Kid asked, "You hungry, Lou?"

"I guess," Louise replied unenthusiastically.

"Then let me buy you something in the diner at the end of the street," Kid suggested and the couple left the bench and headed for the place.

There was just one free table next to the big window and Louise quickly sank down on the wide seat, but other than a few people here and there the place was actually quite deserted. Kid remained on his feet and resting his palms on the table, he leaned towards her and said in a whisper, "Lou, I'm afraid I need to pop to the restroom. I had two coffees and a milkshake while I was waiting for you, and I'm about to burst."

Louise chuckled as he dashed towards the toilet as if he had ants in his pants. As he disappeared from her sight, she focused her attention on the menu. Actually, she was starving but could not make up her mind about what to have now. As she went through the list of dishes for the third time, a male voice reached her ears. "Well, well, look who we have here." Louise lifted her eyes and her skin blanched as she came face to face with the image that had haunted her for many years. "I heard you weren't a little nun anymore," he said as he planted both hands on the table and his head came closer to her. "What happened, Louise? Did you get tired of being a good girl and want to take part in this wicked world of ours?"

Louise was panicking as the images from the past became more vivid than ever. The sensations multiplied, and she thought she was going to be sick. Yet, her proud nature kept repeating in her mind that she could not allow this filthy guy win over her. She was stronger, older now and if she let him terrorize her, she would never escape from his invisible clutches. "Leave me alone!" she barked as she tried to stand up, but he roughly thumped his hand on her shoulder, making her plop on the seat again.

"Not so quick, Sis," he said, keeping his hand on her shoulder, and he started massaging it with evident intentions. "You know, that's not the way to treat an old friend."

"You're not my friend!" Louise barked, attracting the attention of a few people at the nearby tables. She tried to remove his hand from her shoulder, but he clutched onto it strongly. Lou's whole body was tense, and she felt like throwing up on feeling his touch.

"You know something, little nun? I have thought a lot about you over the years. It's kind of interesting for a man to realize that a woman gave something to you alone... something that no other man has ever got to taste."

"I didn't give you anything! You stole it!"

Louise tried to break free, but his comments and his presence were too much for her. He was too strong and despite her resolution, she knew she was a shadow of the person she actually was in normal circumstances. "Louise," he continued. "You know this is a very happy coincidence... very happy indeed. God has brought us together, don't you think? So I'm ready to comply with God's will and repeat those sweet moments we shared so long ago... I'm really longing for you."

Louise's breath quickened, and as if she were a mad woman, she started screaming at the top of her voice and blindly hitting him with both her hands. The man laughed at her reaction and her poor attempts, and he simply strengthened his hold on her. Suddenly, he felt a very strong pull from behind and before he could react, a fist found his way on his jaw line and he fell on the floor. As he lifted his eyes, he came face to face with a man's furious face. Before he could register what was happening, the blue-eyed man grabbed him by his collar and gruffly threw him against a wall.

"Listen to me... you filthy piece of crap!" Kid barked in a loud, threatening tone. "If you get close to her again ... or I get wind of you bothering another woman, be sure I'll hound and hunt you like a worthless dog! May God have mercy on you because I'm not going to have any!"

With a strong push Kid finally let go of him, and without further ado the doctor dashed out of the restaurant. He had seen Lou slip out of the place during his confrontation with that guy and desperately he ran to find her. Once in the street he found her inside his car, looking visibly tense as she stared unblinkingly ahead of her. Kid got in the vehicle, but Lou remained in the same pose and did not even move a muscle. "Lou...?"

Louise turned her head towards him and with a weak voice she asked, "Yes, Kid?"

"Are... are you all right?"

Lou let out a sigh and after a brief lapse she said, "I was so scared when I saw him... actually, I was in a panic... but I... I feel OK now. Kid, despite everything, I managed to control that fear... I really did and I feel fine... really fine." Her voice grew in intensity as her own mood did. "I feel rotten but at the same time I feel great. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"I guess and I'm glad," he exclaimed as he took her hand in his. "He'll never harm you again... I promise."

Louise frowned at his words and asked, "What did you do to him"

"Much less than he deserves," Kid let out bitterly. "I won't stain my hands with the likes of him. He's not worth it... But Lou, if he ever tries to harm you again, I won't hesitate to make him pay." He had never wished ill to anybody, but when he had seen that man hovering and touching Lou, he had felt an uncontrollable desire to kill him. He had recognized him from that time in the restaurant months ago and without even being aware of what he was doing, he had simply leapt on him blindly. Naturally he had had the sense to control himself because in the state he had found himself, he might have been able to do anything.

"Please don't say that," Louise exclaimed with a contrite expression as a shiver coursed all over her body. "You're a good and sensible man... a man of science, and you know things can't get solved with those means."

"Lou, I'm just a man in love, and I won't let anybody hurt you," he said, and lifting her hand to his lips, he kissed it. "You don't have to worry. You've got nothing to fear. That creep is a cowardly dog. You're safe." Lou nodded and he added, "You know I'm very proud of you."

Louise smiled and leaning forward she rested her head on his chest while encircling her hands around his body. Kid's arms instantly clasped around her frame and as she listened to his heartbeat and soft breathing, she started to relax. It was true that facing that scary ghost had proved to her that she could get over anything. She still had a long way to go, though, but the knowledge that Kid was with her made her feel safe and relieved.

Today had been one of the strangest days in her life; first her disagreement with Marmee and then that disturbing encounter in the diner. Yet, right now nothing of that mattered. She had the support and love of a wonderful man and suddenly her fears about their coming marriage disappeared. She knew that it was going to work and nothing would spoil it... not even her.