Chapter 48: It is You I Have Loved All Along

Shannon

July 19

Abby and I went to one of those water parks yesterday because the temperature spiked up past 100 degrees. The park is about a two hour drive away, but since neither of us have jobs, we decided to pack up and get out. It was actually a lot of fun, especially since I never really get to spend time with Abby, just her and I. I guess I had forgotten what fun she is.

When I woke up the following morning, however, I was sore from head to toe. Abby and I had a great time at the park and had gone on just about every single ride they had, including some that normally would've freaked me out completely, but with Abby goading me on, it was easier to go down them. Now, though, my body was scolding me for acting like such a preteen.

I stretched out in my bed, staring up at the ceiling. The house was quiet and I could tell by the weak rays of sunlight entering my bedroom that it was still pretty early in the morning. With a lot of care, I rolled over onto my side to look at the clock. I was right; it was only 6:28 in the morning. I rolled back.

The way I saw it I had two options: get up or close my eyes and go back to sleep. I had fallen asleep around 8:30 last night (we had gotten home around 8:00 pm and I could barely keep my eyes open- my father finally had to lead me up the stairs to bed so that I wouldn't fall asleep on the couch), so I had gotten more than eight hours of sleep already. I was already starting to feel pretty awake. Then again, more sleep was very tempting.

A sudden harsh banging on the front door downstairs jerked me out of my contemplative half doze. I sat up in bed as I heard my parents and sisters start to mumble and cry out about what was happening. Curious myself, I tossed off the sheet that was draped over my legs (I hate pretty much anything but a single sheet on my bed in the summer, central air or not), wrapped my silk summer robe around me, and opened my door. My father was already in the hallway as I stepped out and we exchanged startled glances with one another as a second round of knocking occurred.

"Who is that?" he demanded. I shrugged, knowing perfectly well that he didn't honestly expect me to answer that.

I followed him down the stairs, sensing my mother's footsteps as well as my two sisters', Tiffany and Maria, footsteps behind me as well. The four of us stood a little ways back from the door as Dad opened it. My mouth dropped open.

"Hi," Matt said shyly. "Is Shannon home?"

"Who are you?" Dad asked, but I almost shoved him aside to stare at my ex-boyfriend.

"Matt?" I asked, hearing my voice spike up in pitch as I did. I swallowed a couple of times to keep my racing heart from leaping from my throat. "What… what are you doing here?"

He smiled and shrugged. "Well, I came to see you, Shan."

"This is Matt?" Maria asked, ducking her head next to the side of the door so that she could see him. I glared down at her. "This is the boy-"

"Maria!" I cried and kicked her in the shin. Admittedly, it wasn't the most adult method to get her away from Matt, but it worked. She let out a yelp of pain and retreated back to my mother. I glanced back at Matt, a hot red blush creeping onto my face. "Um… do you want to come inside?"

"Yes, please," Dad said quickly, opening the door all the way.

Mom, Tiffany, and Maria scooted backwards as Matt stepped inside, trying not to clog up the front door's atrium. Matt shoved his hands in his pockets, glanced around for a moment, and smiled at me.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," I answered stupidly. Dad squeezed my shoulder.

"We're going back to bed, pumpkin," he said. I could tell my sisters were desperate to stay around and watch our awkward exchanges. He gave Tiffany a little shove towards the hallway. "Come on, girls."

"Nice to meet you, Matt!" Maria called as she climbed up the stairs. I closed my eyes.

"I am so sorry about my family," I said softly. Matt laughed.

"Your sisters are cute," he assured me. "I didn't mind them at all."

"Matt, can I ask you something?" He nodded. "What are you doing here?"

The smiled faded a little bit. "I told you. For you."

I looked back down at the ground. To see me? He hadn't even spoken to me since he saw me kissing John back in April and now he had driven all the way to my home to come and see me? This was crazy. He couldn't send an email like a normal person?

"Matt, this is a little bizarre," I told him.

"Yeah, I know. It's just… I just had to see you." He looked around again before his eyes focused back on me. I smiled as our eyes locked again like old times. "Have you eaten breakfast yet?"

"Matt, you kind of woke my entire family up. It's what… 6:45 in the morning?"

He blushed in a very cute way. I almost sighed. "Let me take you for breakfast, then." I opened my mouth to protest, but he caught my hand and there was nothing I could do to protest. "Please? My treat for waking you up at such an ungodly hour."

I smiled. "Fine. I know a good 24 hour diner we can go to."

"Excellent. Go get dressed and I'll wait for you in the car?"

I hurried back upstairs and into my bedroom. Almost immediately after I had shut the door, it opened again and Mom and Tiffany slipped inside. I slipped out of my robe and tossed it onto the bed.

"I'm changing," I warned them.

"You're going out for breakfast with him?" Tiffany whispered. "I thought you two were history!"

"Tiffany…" Mom sighed.

I shrugged and walked over to my closet. It took only seconds to select my favorite pink and yellow summer sundress. I slipped my nightgown up over the top of my head, tossed that onto my bed as well, and slid my dress on over the top of my head. I had bought it two summers ago in the Bahamas with Mom and Dad and it was easily the best fitting, most gorgeously tropical dress I owned. I adored it. I heard Tiffany giggle and I knew why.

"He hasn't ever seen me wear this," I defended myself. She laughed out loud.

"Yes, but everyone else has seen that thing a million times. You practically live in it. You could buy some other dresses." Mom nodded slightly. "It's not like we're poor."

"I like this dress and I thought we were worrying about Matt right now," I reminded them as I yanked a pair of earthy straw woven sandals from my shoe rack in my closet and slipped them on my feet. "And, anyways, we are broken up, but that doesn't mean that we were never going to go out ever again."

"So… he's dating you again?" Tiffany asked, looking confused.

I shook my head then shrugged. "I don't know." I rushed to my mirror and frantically began brushing out my curly hair. "God… do I even look alright?"

"Honey, you look fine." Mom hugged me from behind. "Hurry and get ready for Matt. You can tell us all the details when you get home again."

48

I picked at the remains of my scrambled eggs. Matt was still piling in his eggs, his second order of them, and looked as though he was going to be ready to order a third. I wanted to shake him and tell him that I didn't want to spend my whole morning feeling sick as I watched him ingest a whole henhouse worth of eggs. He finally glanced up.

"Are you full?" he asked, his mouth still full. I nodded.

"Uh huh."

He swallowed, took a sip of his orange juice, and sat still for a moment. He pushed his plate a little ways away and looked up at me.

"I came up here to see you," he said. I nodded again.

"I know. You already told me that."

"How do you feel about that?" he asked.

I looked down at the table. It was yellow with a red trim and had a few little cracks here and there. Someone else's eggs had hardened down near the edge by the aisle. I nodded slowly.

"I've missed you," I admitted, knowing that if I said more, I might start to cry.

"Shannon, I drove all this way because I couldn't stand not seeing you anymore." My eyes snapped up involuntarily to look into his. Was that true? "I've been thinking about you constantly. It's like I can't get your face out of my head."

I laughed. "You're stuck in my head, too."

Matt grinned. "Shannon, I think I made a big mistake. I shouldn't have brushed you aside like I did."

"No… but I was an idiot."

He shook his head with a sad look in his eyes. "No, honey. You were being honest. There's nothing stupid about that. I overreacted and… well, all right, you making out with your friend was stupid, I'll say that, but it's mostly my fault."

"You're not angry with me?"

"No," he told me sincerely.

I breathed in a deep breath of relief. It was good to hear him say that he wasn't angry with me anymore. It was better to hear him say that he didn't think that I was stupid for worrying about marriage. The best part was having him finally sitting with me, here in Stoneybrook, too, and knowing that he was in love with me still. I reached over the table and took his hand. Matt smiled.

"I haven't been able to think straight since we broke up," I confessed. "You should've seen the stupid things I did."

"They probably weren't all that bad," Matt laughed.

"Oh, but they definitely were," I replied. "I got fired from jobs because I couldn't focus on them because you were crowding me up too much. It was awful."

He raised my hand to his lips and kissed my fingers. "Sorry, Shan."

"You should be!" I giggled. "Your face cost me two jobs!"

He frowned. "Wow. Thanks for the compliment."

"Oh, you know what I mean, Matt."

He leaned back in his chair, smiling at me. I copied his movements, content just to sit and stare at him, too. The more I stared at his face, the more I realized how much I really missed it and how much every little perfection or flaw meant to me. It was amazing how much that little gray hair at his temple made me want to sigh with a strange kind of relief. It was hard, trying to put words to something that I'm sure the human race couldn't put words to in the first place.

Matt sighed and looked at his watch. "It's eight o'clock."

I looked down at my own watch in surprise. "Wow! Already?"

He gave me one of his 'image that!' grins. "Hey, do you think it would be a big deal if I ran a quick errand while we're here in town?"

I nodded. "Sure. Where did you need to go? I can help you with it."

Matt shook his head. "Nah, it's personal, Shannon. I was just wondering if you wouldn't mind waiting around the diner or this general area for about ten or fifteen minutes while I run my errand."

Part of me felt suspicion bubble up inside, but the other part of me immediately squashed it down into the ground. I didn't really have the right to feel so suspicious of Matt, especially after I was the one to start making out with another guy right in front of him. I ought to just keep my mouth shut. So, instead of protesting, I nodded and smiled.

"Sure thing. I can wait."

48

Nearly an hour later and still no Matt.

The part of me which had felt suspicious at the start now felt cocky and vindicated, so I let it preen around, taunting me with it's little "I told you so!" squeaks of delight. I felt like a complete idiot.

The worst part was that I had trusted Matt, too. I hadn't seen this coming at all. I mean, I really thought that I had known him, but maybe I didn't after all. Maybe there's a completely different side to him that only emerges when he's really pissed off at someone and then he turns into this kind of a jerk. An obsessive jerk, too, to drive all the way to Stoneybrook just to abandon me at a local town diner and leave me feeling humiliated. Had he been planning this?

I sank down onto the concrete curb of the sidewalk. I didn't care if my favorite sundress got dirty from the sidewalk. I could wash it. Right now, I had to sit down and try to figure out what I was going to do.

If I called one of my family members, they'd immediately know that Matt left me here on my own and my humiliation factor would increase tenfold, even if my family tried extra hard to be nice about it. I know Tiffany, who has been prattling on and on all summer about how badly she needed a boyfriend, would secretly feel happy that my relationship was now permanently failed. Mom would try to comfort me like a baby while Dad would carry on constantly about what a loser Matt was.

No, I definitely could not call any of them.

None of my friends would understand either. They'd all have similar reactions as my family. Maybe nobody would be glad that my relationship was now officially in the trash, but everyone would try to make me feel better when I wanted to do was curl back up into bed and sleep away the rest of the day.

I flipped open my cell phone then closed it again. I looked up the street. It was quiet and mostly deserted. I supposed that I could just walk home. It would take maybe forty-five minutes or so, but maybe I could sneak into the house unnoticed.

Probably not, though.

"Shannon!" My heart skipped a beat in surprise as I jerked my head up to see the car that had stopped in front of me. It was Matt's car. He was leaning way over so that he could look down at me. "Come on, get it."

A milky red haze bubbled up inside my head. I tossed my hair back to glare up at him, my jaw clenching just as tightly as my fists were. I nearly jumped to my feet in fury, but managed to contain myself and stand up poised and stately.

"Do you realize how long you left me sitting there?" I demanded, refusing to open the passenger side door. Matt frowned.

"I know. Everything took longer than I had expected." He smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry, Shan. Hop in?"

"What are you doing here?" I hissed at him and began to march towards my house. Matt groaned and started to follow alongside me with his car. "You show up at the crack of dawn, take me out to breakfast then ditch me? What the hell is that?"

"It's not what you think it is," he said.

"Well, explain it because I have no idea what to think." I stopped and so did Matt's car. "Are you punishing me for kissing John?"

"What?"

"You heard me, Matt! Is this some kind of a punishment or something?" I glared at him. "Because it really sucks, Matt. I've babysat eight year olds more mature than this!"

"Get in the car," he said calmly.

I stared at him for a minute or so then grabbed onto the handle and wrenched the door open. Matt winced when I heaved myself into the seat and slammed the door as hard as I could behind me. I stared stonily ahead.

"Just take me home."

"All right, Shannon."

48

I knew something was going on the moment we pulled into the driveway and people began to spill out of the house, from the side yards, and from one of our neighbors' houses. I glanced quickly at Matt before focusing my attention on the people flooding our front lawn and driveway. There was still enough room for Matt to park the car, so he pulled in slowly.

I got out of Matt's car and looked around. Kristy Thomas was standing closest to me, grinning broadly. I leaned towards her.

"What is going on here?" I whispered in her ear. She was still dressed in what looked like her pajamas, complete with bare feet, but looked pleased and alarmingly smug. She shrugged her shoulders.

"Oh, you'll see," was all she would say. I bit down on my lip to keep from asking her a million other questions and crossed my arms to keep from shaking her back and forth. I couldn't tell if Kristy's sudden brush with the cryptic was due to being pregnant (maybe all pregnant women liked to have some kind of weird mystery around themselves) or because she was hiding something very interesting from me. Judging from the crowd of people around us, I was leaning on the latter.

Matt hurried into the house and left me alone with the mob of people, many of whom I was quickly beginning to recognize as friends and family. Startled and confused by what was happening, I let everyone hug and kiss me. Finally, Mom and Dad, followed by Tiffany and Maria approached me.

"What is all of this?" I asked them suspiciously.

Mom and Dad exchanged a meaningful glance with one another. Tiffany actually reached out and grabbed onto Maria's hand. Maria's grin grew even wider and she hopped in place for a moment, as though she had all of this energy inside of her, waiting to bubble over and spill out. When nobody said anything, Maria giggled.

"It's great news!" she said excitedly. Tiffany yanked her arm back.

"No, let Daddy tell her!" she scolded.

"Mom!"

"Tiffany's right, Maria," Mom said quietly. The three of us still almost to a stop at the quiet seriousness of our mother's voice. Mom looked at me and gave me a warm smile. "Shannon, darling, your father has some very important news to share with you, but before he does I want to let you know that you will always be my beautiful little angel and I will love you forever." She hugged me unexpectedly.

"Wow," I gasped, a little bit crushed in her arms. "Thanks, Mom. Really."

Mom pulled away a little, kissed my forehead then looked at Dad. He nodded seriously and took both of my hands in his.

"Shannon, Matt told us that he left you at the diner this morning." I nodded, feeling anger begin to swell up inside of me once more. Great, now everyone would know how humiliating that was. "Did he say why?"

"Well, he…" I looked around and could find no trace of Matt. I shook my head. "Actually, no, he didn't."

"He was over here, honey." I looked at Dad. "He was helping us put all of this together."

"Why?"

"Shannon, Matt asked me for something very dear to my heart this morning." Once more, my heart began to pound. It was as though I knew before he could finish telling me. "Matt asked me for your hand in marriage. He wants to marry you."

"He does?" I whispered faintly, my hand flying to my mouth. I began to blink rapidly to keep my tears a bay. "He does?"

Dad nodded gently and used his hands to turn me so that I was facing the front door. Matt was there, standing on the front steps. I swallowed. I felt Dad lean against me and felt his breath in my ear. "I think he wants to ask you himself."

Somehow, Matt had managed to change into a neatly pressed suit and looked amazingly handsome, like he always did whenever he was forced into a suit. He grinned shyly at me before walking down the front path towards me. I felt my throat close up in horror as he pulled a small black box out of his pocket. I shook my head.

"Oh, no…"

He laughed softly. "Not the response I was hoping for, Shannon."

"Well, I didn't mean… I just… Oh, God…"

Everyone laughed this time and, looking around at everyone enjoying themselves at our awkward young love expense, I felt a smile crack through onto my face as well. I nodded slightly. Matt let out a shuddering breath.

"I had a huge speech planned, but I seemed to have forgotten it all, standing in front of you." I blushed. "But, what I do remember is this: I love you, Shannon and even though we haven't known one another long, I don't think I've ever loved anyone as much as I love you. You're the best thing to ever happen to me and I can't believe that I let us go so long without being together over such stupid, silly little things." He looked around, as though remembering we had an audience. "I guess what I'm really trying to say, Shannon, is that there isn't anyone else in the world that I would rather be with. I know that and I'm sure of it. I want to ask you to if you're sure of it, too?"

When he sank down onto one knee, every single woman in the crowd sighed happily and I covered my hands with my face. He was really getting a kick out of this, though. I knew he was. I felt fingers intertwine with my own and pull my hands down so that I could look at him. Matt smiled.

"Shannon, will you do me the honor of growing old with me? Will you take care of me forever and let me love you for the rest of my life?" I nodded, tears starting to leak down my cheeks. A couple of girls began to giggle and I heard a few sniffles besides mine. "Will you marry me?"

"Yes," I whispered.

Matt slid the ring onto my finger, jumped up, and swung me into his arms. Everyone, all of my friends and family that I'm sure Matt and my parents and sisters had spent that hour rounding up, began to clap and cheer for us. When Matt finally put me down, I couldn't tell if I was dizzy from being spun or from being freshly engaged. I touched his face and grinned.

"We're going to get married?" I asked in awe. He smiled gently.

"Yeah."

I flung my arms around his neck and let out a sudden sob of relief, joy, and all the pent of frustrations that had been building up these past few months. Matt didn't ask why I had begun to sob, only held me. Everyone else cheered and continued to party while he rocked me back and forth until I finally could look back up at him.

"Are you all right?" he finally asked.

"I'm so glad you came," I confessed. "Matt, I've loved you this whole time and it's been eating me apart inside since you've been gone."

"I know. I've loved you all along, too."

His lips met mine gently and I knew that I didn't need to find any other means of distraction. I had Matt back and life would once more continue the way it ought to be.