Proof

A few weeks later they had another case. They were off to Durant, Oklahoma and Declan was going to be left with Garcia. One day she would leave him with Jessica and his siblings. She hoped he would get to meet them soon but it was really up to Aaron. He'd always been there for them unlike her regrettably.

They went up to Garcia when they got to work. Emily filled her in on Declan while Rossi gave her back the pasta that she'd cooked according to his recipe. It had tasted rather weird and not like his recipe. She admitted she'd made it with tofu.

"Tofu?!You took my recipe and used tofu," he said.

"We have to make food of his home country. Derek won't cook," she answered.

"Why don't you give her a cookery lesson? Make sure she gets it right!" Morgan winked causing his wife to playfully hit him.

"That's a great idea," Emily added causing Rossi to roll his eyes.

They soon got to work on the case. They would be going after a killer who had sexually assaulted then murdered two women in a three day span. They found he was using acid on the victims. The first victim had been blinded by it and the other blinded and her nose had been affected by the acid. While they were out there they had another victim. She'd had acid poured down her throat.

One night Hotch was woken up by a scream coming from the room next to his. His heart froze as he realised it was Emily. He picked up his gun and pushed open the door. If anyone was hurting his Emily he would kill them. There was no-one there but his heart tightened as he saw her thrashing about in her bed.

"No Ian, please," she shouted. "Please take me. They're just children. They're just children...Allie, Ellie, Jack, oh god I'm so sorry," she cried.

Hotch couldn't take anymore. What was he doing keeping the children from her? If he'd known she was dreaming of them murdered he would never have kept them away. He didn't want to lead her on but he still loved her so he kissed her forehead and whispered, "They're safe, Emily, as are you."

Thankfully she didn't wake up but it seemed to soothe her. HE HADN'T WANTED TO WAKE HER UPAND BELIEVE HE WAS READY BECAUSE HE WASN'T. HE STILL NEEDED TIME AND HE WANTEDTO TAKE IT SLOW. He wanted to do it right this time.

The next day he went up to Reid as he'd been giving JJ problems. He'd quarrelled with her in front of them. He'd even implied he had thought about going back on the diludin.

"I told you if you had any issues to come to me," he said.

"I'm sorry, sir, but it wasn't you I came crying to for ten weeks. I thought you had enough on your plate," he answered walking off.

He really had to think of a way to bring his team back together. They really needed to sort out their issues. He was ready to sort out his but not for a relationship. He didn't want to give them all psychiatric evaluations again. Maybe they could do something as a team like a cooking lesson.

He was later walking with Rossi when he asked, "How's Reid doing?"

"He's feeling it. I'm a bit surprised not everyone's feeling it," he answered.

"Some of us had inkling..." Hotch raised an eyebrow. "I overheard your conversation with Gideon." He just nodded. "So what are you planning to do? Psych evaluations?"

"No. I was thinking that a cookery lesson with one of our founding fathers might do the trick." He hoped flattery was the way of talking him into it.

He rolled his eyes in answer. "Not you as well. He could see Hotch wasn't taking no for an answer. "Fine, the night after we get back." he let the corner of his lips go up in a satisfied smile.

They were all told about it. They soon found the UnSub and his niece, the latest victim. They didn't get there in time to save her fingers from being burned with the acid though. She had reminded him of her mother who he'd been obsessed with.

On the plane home Emily went over to Reid. She needed him to see they hadn't done it to hurt him. She never wished that pain on him after all he'd been through. She wanted to get him to understand.

"We're all going to have a cookery class at Rossi's tomorrow night. Are you coming?"She asked.

"I don't think so," he answered not even lifting his eyes to hers.

"Reid, I'm really sorry about what we did but it was never to hurt you. I had an ulcer keeping it from you. You grieved the loss of a friend. I grieved the loss of everyone I ever cared about; five friends, my soul mate and three children. I still have nightmares concerning them."

He looked up and sighed feeling like a right arsehole. All this time he'd been thinking about the pain this had caused him he'd never once thought about what she had had to leave behind. She saw his guilty expression and added, "Don't. This is none of your fault. I only came to explain."

He nodded.

The next night she was at home getting ready for the cookery lesson. Declan agreed to do his homework while they were doing the lesson. He knew it was to get the team back together. He hoped it would work. It was clear they'd once been close. He wanted Emily to get her family back. He knew she was lonely even though she had him.

Morgan and Garcia arrived then JJ. Soon there was a knock on the door and she answered. Once she opened the door she froze. There were her children with their father. She felt tears rise in her eyes as she was completely off-guard. He'd never warned her he was bringing the children.

"Mummy," the twins shouted hugging her and she hugged them close to them trying to keep her tears back.

"Allie, Ellie," she answered on the verge of tears. "I missed you so so much."

"Missed you," they replied.

She looked up at Jack who was glaring at her. "Emily," he sneered. She gulped her tears back. It hurt to hear him call her Emily and not mummy anymore. She knew it was her fault for leaving. He then turned to his dad and spat, "You didn't tell me she'd be here."

"She lives here, buddy," he answered. He just glared back.

"Jack, please don't be mad at your dad. He loves you so much and is always protecting you. It was my fault. I left and he had to lie to you. It was all my fault," she defended.

He just ignored her and walked in with the others while she tried to keep her tears inside. Hotch patted her shoulder as they came in.

"Introduce them to Declan," she said. He nodded in response and did so.

He soon joined them and they started their lesson on pasta Carbonara. Reid joined them shortly after and Emily and JJ smiled to see him. Maybe their friendship could be rebuilt. There was hope finally. They could hear the children playing in the next room.

When it came time they joined them to test the food. They smiled and laughed as they tasted it but every now and again Jack would glare at Emily. She knew there was a lot of fixing to do. It was a wonderful evening despite his behaviour. Maybe things would get better.

One night Aaron stumbled upon the letter. He hadn't seen it since JJ had given it to him. He'd never even opened it. He hadn't been able to bring himself to. Now things were looking up maybe he could. Maybe he'd get the answers he needed.

He put his thumb under the seal and opened it. He then pulled out the letter. Luckily the children were in bed so he had time to read it. He opened it up and read it.

'Dear Aaron,

I am so so sorry for all of this. Please don't ever doubt my love for you. I love you so much. I've realised I fell in love with you a lot earlier than I thought I did. When I first met you I knew I was attracted to you but what I didn't realise was I was comparing every man I dated to you. It's why I could never settle. I was always trying to find someone like you. Then one day I got you and though it wasn't the best of circumstances it was a dream come true. I know this doesn't excuse keeping you in the dark and shutting you out lately but my love for you is part of it. I know if I told you you'd put me under surveillance or even in protection and while he was hunting me it was unimaginable. It would only have antagonised him. He'd had have gone after you or the kids. I had to stay and protect you, guys. I am so sorry for all of this. I never ever wanted to hurt you, you mean so much to me, and I just wanted to keep you safe. You didn't deserve this and neither did our children. If there had been another way if there had been any other way I would have chosen it. I know you'll do your best for the children and let them know I will always love them. I will always love you and miss you.

Yours forever,

Emily.'

He felt the tears rise in his eyes over the time they'd lost. If only he'd read the letter earlier. He could have spared himself a lot of pain. She'd given him the answers he needed. It really did relieve the pain he'd been feeling for a year. Maybe they could move on now. He knew he wanted to move on with her. He smiled touching her name.

He then heard little footsteps coming down the stairs. He looked to the stairs and saw Jack. He walked over to him and asked, "What's up, buddy?" crouching down.

"I couldn't sleep," he answered rubbing his eyes.

"Nightmare?"He nodded. "Want to talk about it?"

"Okay."

He picked him up and sat him down on his lap on the couch. He rubbed his arm. "I'm listening," he assured him.

"Mummy and Emily were there..." Aaron tensed up but carried on rubbing his arm. He'd been having dreams involving them since he saw Emily. It had really affected him. He was still trying to come to terms with why she was here and Haley wasn't. "The bad guy killed them. Emily came back but mummy didn't. I tried to bring her back but she wouldn't come back," he added with tears rolling down his cheeks.

He hugged him close feeling guilty. "Buddy, I'm so sorry for all this. I never meant to hurt or confuse you. We just wanted to protect you. I'm so sorry I can't BRING YOUR MOTHER BACK. I WISH i COULD. I'M ALSO SO SORRY WE LIED TO YOU ABOUT Emily. It was the only way to protect you guys," he said stroking his hair.

He nodded. "Can I sleep in your bed tonight?"

"Sure."

He smiled at him. He wanted his daddy to be happy but he wasn't ready to have Emily back yet. Aaron would wait until he was. He loved Emily still but Jack was one of his top priorities. Alexia and Eliza his others.

Rossi knew it was time to tell her. She had to understand it wasn't just what had happened with her that had closed Aaron off and made it hard to let anyone in. It was what had happened afterward too.

"Emily, can you sit down?" he asked.

"What is it?" she asked confused. She was worried about what he had to tell her. Was he going to kick them out? Had he had enough? She sat down next to him.

"There are some things I have to tell you to understand Aaron..." her chest tightened. Had she lost him completely? Was she going to lose him? Was he sick? "He went through a lot more than losing you..." she felt for him. What else had he been through? What had she not been there for? "He lost his mother six months ago."

Oh god, no! She really should have been there for him. He shouldn't have gone through that alone. She should have been there. "No..." she exclaimed in a whisper. "I should have been there for him."

"You would have been if you could have been."

She could sense he was holding something else back. What was it? She knew it was even worse. What had happened while she was away? What else had Aaron suffered? "What is it?"She asked slightly afraid.

"Emily..." he said taking her hand. "Alexia and Eliza were very sick eight months ago..." her chest tightened. How sick? Had she nearly lost them? How serious had it been? "He stayed in hospital with them until they came out." She tried to keep her tears inside. She hadn't been around when her daughters were in hospital. She'd failed them. She should have been there. It must have been terrifying for them. She knew why he hadn't told her. She'd have come straight out of hiding putting them in danger. Nothing would have held her back from being at her daughters' bedside.

"Emily, they're alright now. You saw them the other night. They survived. They pulled through because they're fighters like you and Aaron."

"I should have been there. They needed me. I'm their mother," she answered.

"Emily, you were protecting them. You know if you came back before we found Doyle it wouldn't have been safe. That's why he didn't tell you. You know that."

She nodded. "It doesn't make it any easier. They're my little girls. I should have been there for them. What if I lost them?"

"Emily, you didn't. They're still here."

She nodded taking in a deep breath. "I know."

Declan then came in in his pyjamas. He'd gone to bed about an hour before as he had school the next day.

"Alright, buddy?" she asked.

"Just hungry," he answered.

"Nightmare?"

"I DON'T WANT TOTALK ABOUT IT."

She just nodded. He was still quiet about what he'd suffered that day but over the month they'd grown into a family. They'd really been able to build a mother son relationship. He was glad to have a mother at last. She was glad to finally be able to raise Declan as he deserved. He was doing well at school. He was trying to bottle up his nightmares. She'd give him time if he needed it.

It was Jack's eighth birthday. He wanted Declan there but he didn't want Emily there. Aaron talked him into letting her be there so that she wasn't the odd one out. She tried during the party to make it up to him but he tried to avoid her. He saw how it hurt his father but she'd hurt him. He didn't want to get hurt again.