A/N: Some action in this one! I had a lot of fun writing this. For those who don't know, Thunderbirds are mythological creatures of the First Nations peoples of the Pacific Northwest. I based the Kinmode on a rare type of white bear known as Spirit Bears that I turned magical for this. Hope you enjoy.


Chapter 43: Heart

The ground squashed beneath Severus's boots as he made his way through the thick forest, which was dark and damp even in the middle of the day.

He never thought he'd find a place on earth that rained more than Great Britain, but apparently he'd found it. It had been pouring ever since he arrived on the damned little island, and he'd long since given up ever being dry. Even the inside of his tent was damp, water dripping off the ceiling as the rain soaked through his strongest Impervious Charms.

After taking a portkey to Vancouver, he'd taken another to a larger island that was Apparating distance from Moksmol. He'd hired a guide, who had Side-Along Apparated him and then left him quickly with a "good luck," which from his tone sounded a lot more like "don't die."

He'd been here for over a week already, and had not yet spotted a Kinmode. Truth be told, he hadn't even seen a trace of a Kinmode: no tufts of white hair, no tracks, no rubs on a tree, no roaring calls. Definitely no hearts.

The trip hadn't been entirely useless, however. He'd gathered several other herbs and had even managed to find a Thunderbird feather laying amongst some ferns. Thankfully, he had also yet to see a Thunderbird, who was even more likely to try to kill him than the Kinmode.

Severus pushed through the wide ferns and dense bushes beneath the tall cedar and fir trees that covered the island, slowly working through it in a grid pattern. It was a small island, but large enough that trekking across it took a full day. His camp was near a beach on one side of the island, it's stony shores buffeted by slate grey waves.

Everything was grey here except the plants: grey water, grey sky, grey rocks, grey rain. It made him feel equally colourless, like a cloud was hovering over his head as he tramped through the tangled forest on his increasingly impossible quest.

He didn't want to think about what would happen if he had to return without a Kinmode heart. But he was not yet willing to admit defeat. Not yet, when he had come so far and been forced to give up time with Hermione in the process.

He'd brought her last letter with him to keep him company and to remind him of her love. The ink was splotchy in places where it had been hit by fat drops from the ceiling of his tent, but he could still make out the 'Love, Hermione, xoxoxo,' and that was the important part.

"Fucking goddamn trees," he hissed after a wet branch smacked him in the face. There were no real trails on the island, just narrow deer tracks that were overgrown with ferns and salal, and often thinned into deep wood. It meant that going anywhere took twice as long, and he had three times the chance of slipping or falling in a hole.

Severus wiped his face with the back of his sleeve, but it only made it more wet, his cloak long since soaked through. Deciding he'd had enough for the day, he turned around to make his way back to camp, eyes still searching for a hint of white as he picked his way through the trees.

Back on the beach it was even wetter than in the forest. He huddled in the doorway of his tent, which he'd pitched near a rock cliff hoping it would afford him some semblance of protection against the wind and rain. A weak fire sputtered in front of him, occasionally hissing as an extra-large raindrop fell from the sky into its flames.

Reaching into his tent, he pulled out a mug and tapped it with his wand to reheat the tea inside. At least, he thought, I have tea. He wrapped his cold fingers around the warm mug, holding it close to his face, attempting to feel a modicum of peace.

With a loud plop a raindrop fell into the cup, splashing his face and hands with hot tea.

"Fucking hell!" Severus shouted, splashing even more tea out of his cup. "Can I not even enjoy a fucking cup of tea without some goddamn rain in it?!"

He dried his face and hands with a Drying Charm, but it only lasted a second. Severus took a sip of his tea, wishing he was not on this piece of shit island. He wished he was in his bed, his comfortable, dry bed, wrapping Hermione in his arms or making love to her repeatedly.

"Oh, yes, I'll just go get a Kinmode heart," he said mockingly. "Brilliant fucking plan, Severus."

With a loud grumble, he poured out the rest of his tea and went inside his tent. Taking off his cloak and hanging it by the door, he lay down on his cot, feeling damp and cold and alone.

Three more days, he thought as he closed his eyes. Three more fucking days and I can get off this shithole of an island. Who the fuck wants the heart of a spirit-beast who would live in this goddamn place anyway?


Severus woke up the next morning to a puddle forming beneath his cot. He vanished the water half-heartedly, knowing it would be back when he returned later, and went to his stove to cook some breakfast. Two soggy pieces of toast, raindrop-sprinkled eggs and a mug of dripped-in tea later, he put on his cloak, the damp fabric sticking to his skin.

Pushing open the tent flaps, he emerged to another dark, grey, rainy day.

"Big fucking surprise," muttered Severus bitterly.

He chose a path on the opposite side of the island from the previous day. It skirted a small creek that wound along one half of the island before taking a sharp turn towards the mountain in its centre. He decided he would follow the creek for its length, thinking that spirit-beasts might need to drink.

By midday he'd made it to the middle of the island, which rose up sharply in dark granite rock, moss and ferns clinging to its sides and giant tree roots appearing like fingers grasping to the jagged cliffs. He climbed upwards, crossing back and forth over the steep rocks and around trees to find a way forward, wondering what kind of view he might see at the top.

He came out onto a sloping granite surface, with only two scraggly, windswept trees gripping to the top of a cliff, which fell straight downwards into the forest hundreds of feet below. The view, for what it was worth, was rather breathtaking. The tops of the trees spread out like a green carpet in front of him, dropping into an endless slate grey ocean that stretched as far as he could see in every direction.

He was staring at the tiny whitecaps that dotted the ocean like clamshells sticking out on a sandy beach when a great wind suddenly soared over the cliff, buffeting him violently, and he heard a thunderclap. It was loud, extremely loud, and seconds later a streak of lightening burst across the sky.

Knowing it was extremely stupid to be standing on the highest point of the only land amidst an ocean for hundreds of miles during a thunderstorm, he turned to make his way down the slope, his cloak whipping in the wind.

Just as he was about to enter the trees, he heard a deafening crack from behind him. Turning, he saw a great red bird swooping down at him, the size of a house, it's wings outstretched to reveal a dozen snakeheads on their undersides. The vipers spat, lightening crackling from their mouths towards him.

"Protego!" Severus yelled as the bird came at him, the bolts of lightening blasting backwards off his shield and bursting several trees into flames despite their dampness.

"Sectumsempra!" he yelled, aiming at the snakes, knowing the spell likely wouldn't work on the giant Thunderbird itself.

Sending spells over his shoulder, he ran down the hillside, stumbling downwards, the bird screeching and thundering its fury behind him. It landed at the edge of the trees just as Severus reached them, snapping at him with his large beak, lightening discharging into the trees with each blink of its giant yellow eyes, causing them to erupt in flames.

He ran as fast as his legs would carry him as the bird crashed through the trees, breaking them with its huge body as if they were twigs. As he reached a steep drop, he saw the bird raise it's wings again to reveal the snakes. He cast another Shield Charm and, hoping it would hold, he jumped. The bird screamed behind him as he fell on the soft forest floor, scrambling to his feet. He ran along the cliffside, hoping to find somewhere to hide, casting another Shield Charm on himself.

Just as he was about to turn and cast another stunning spell at the bird, he felt his foot rip through something soft. The ground tore like fabric beneath him and then he was falling into blackness. He had only a moment to cast a charm to cushion his fall, and he hit the ground with a dull thud.

Breathing heavily, Severus looked up to see if the bird had followed him, but saw nothing. He could hear it thundering above, crashing about in the trees trying to find him. Severus backed further into the cave, covering himself in blackness for protection.

Several minutes later the thundering stopped and Severus could hear the muffled roar and the sound of giant wings flapping. He waited for several minutes more to ensure the violent animal was gone before moving.

"Lumos," said Severus finally, sending light into the dank hole he now found himself in. It appeared to be some sort of cave. The grey stone walls were streaked with water, which dripped down from the hole above along with moss and twigs and dirt. The floor was dirt and rock, strewn with pieces of wood and what appeared to be animal bones. To Severus's left, a narrow passage broke through the wall. Severus thought it pointed towards the centre of the island, but could not tell how long it might be.

Deciding he might as well follow it, he made his way through the gap, which was just wide enough for his shoulders. Soon glowing white stalagmites and stalactites grew around him, dripping crystals from the floor and ceiling. The sight was like nothing he had ever seen, and he felt the thrum of magic as he pushed deeper, past a still, eerily clear, bottomless pool and several large crystal formations.

Eventually, the passage narrowed, and Severus had to force himself through sideways. He gritted his teeth as the cold white limestone pressed into his back. And then, suddenly, he was in a large cavern bigger than his classroom at Hogwarts. Crystals hung from the ceiling all around the edges and formed a large silvery column in the centre of the room.

And there, lying next to the column, was his Kinmode.

The spirit-beast was large and round, its white fur so pale it was translucent near his ears and tail. The creature looked at him with black eyes, and Severus stared, not knowing if he should run or hold his ground. None of his texts had told him what to do when he actually found a Kinmode, or how to get its heart.

Suddenly the spirit-beast rose from the floor and Severus grasped his wand tighter lest he need to fight. Its paws were enormous, almost as large as its huge head, which was the size of a his overstuffed armchair back home and was rising into the air, its nose sniffing delicately.

"Hello, wizard," it said in a deep, growling voice, making Severus jump. He didn't know Kinmodes could talk!

"Have you come for my heart, like the others?" it continued. It did not seem angry, Severus realized, or fearful. Its voice and body were calm, as if it were asking a perfectly mundane question in an everyday situation.

"I—yes," Severus answered.

The spirit-beast nodded its great head, taking a step towards him. Severus froze, and the Kinmode sniffed the air again, as if trying to smell something.

"Interesting," said the Kinmode, as if the air told him something. "Your reasons for my heart, wizard."

Severus drew himself up. You've faced Lord Voldemort, damn it, he thought. Control yourself. Don't fuck this up.

"I need it for a potion," he said calmly, "to restore memories taken away by a spell."

The white bear nodded as if it understood, walking closer to him once more. His giant black nose, the size of Severus's hand, was inches away from him now. The great beast blinked lazily, and then sniffed again. Severus could feel the air move against his skin as the beast's nostrils flared open and shut.

"Memories," said the Kinmode, his breath moving Severus's long hair like the breeze from the ocean. It smelled like the ocean, Severus realized, salty and with the hint of seaweed. "Whose memories?"

"The memories of the parents of the woman I love," said Severus.

"Love?" asked the bear. "Yes, I smell love." He pressed his damp nose against Severus's jaw and sniffed deeply. Severus didn't dare move, somehow knowing the beast was not about to rip his throat out.

"You have been near death before," said the bear, turning around and padding back towards the centre of the room. He flopped down facing Severus. Severus expected a noise, but it was as if a feather had been placed on a pillow.

"Yes, I almost died," said Severus. "I chose to come back… for her."

"I am near death," said the Kinmode. "I do not have a choice."

Severus let out a breath. If the Kinmode was near death, then perhaps he had a chance at obtaining his heart if he was patient.

"I didn't think I did either," said Severus.

"Curious wizard," said the spirit-beast. "I sense ambition, but not malice. You seem truthful, wizard."

"I have not lied," said Severus, unsure how to convince the great beast to give up his heart.

"Tell me about your love," he said, his head resting on his paw.

"How do I even begin? She is," Severus paused, trying to think of how to describe Hermione to the beast. "She is my swallow. She brought song into my otherwise bleak world. She is open and kind, more intelligent and insightful than anyone I have ever known—and I have known several brilliant wizards. She means everything to me." Severus paused, thinking again. It was all true, but it was not everything.

"There was a war, and she took on more than most—she was hurt deeply by what happened," he continued.

"War?" said the Kinmode. "Indeed, war is not without its scars."

"I have them too," said Severus. "But Hermione remains trusting, kind. Not like me. I was bitter, cold, before I died, before she came into my life.

"That's why I need your heart. Her parents—she took away their memories of her in order to keep them safe. It hurts her greatly to not have them in her life, to know they are out there and do not remember her," he continued. "I know she thinks about them often. Sometimes she cries. If I could give them back to her, it would be fitting back a piece of her heart she thought she lost forever.

"I have way to restore their memories, but it requires a potion. And that potion requires your heart," Severus finished, desperately hoping it was enough.

"Curious wizard," said the Kinmode again. "You'd do this for her?"

"Of course," said Severus resolutely. "Yes."

"And what is the benefit to you?"

"Only her happiness."

The Kinmode lifted his head and, if it was possible, Severus was sure he smiled. The spirit-beast got to his feet once more and lifted up onto his hind legs. He moved his front paws to his chest and outwards, and suddenly there was blood staining his pure white coat as his chest opened wide like the dripping entrance to the cave.

"It is yours, curious wizard," growled the bear, crimson dribbling down his body and onto the floor, a pool forming at his feet.

Tentatively, Severus stepped forward. The bear stood still, his great paws holding open his chest, and Severus plunged his hand into it. He felt upwards and came onto something firm and rounded, thudding lightly, and he gripped it in his hand, looking up at the beast for confirmation.

"Take it," said the Kinmode.

Severus tugged, and it came away as if he had plucked a ripe peach from a tree. It throbbed in his hand, slick and red as he held it in front of him.

The bear stumbled backwards, his front paws coming away from his chest, which sealed instantly, though the blood remained on his coat and floor. Landing silently on the ground, he lay down, looking tired, his eyes closing as he rested his head on his paws.

"Goodbye, curious wizard," said the Kinmode, his form becoming less solid, his white coat going to grey, then black, and then suddenly, he was gone.

"Thank you," said Severus to the air.

He cast a Holding Charm on the heart and placed it into a leather pouch, tucking the pouch safely back inside his robes when he was finished. He looked back where the great spirit-beast had lain moments before, now showing only a blood-stain on the ground, and then fixed his face into a passive stare.

Thinking he'd rather not meet the Thunderbird at the cave entrance, he Disapparated with a loud crack that echoed off the walls.

Appearing back on the beach in front of his soggy tent, the rain was pouring down so hard it sounded like constant thunder as it hit the pebbles on the beach.

Fat drops bouncing off his robes, Severus quickly took out his wand and with a flick of his wrist, the tent and all his supplies gathered themselves into a neat ball and were summoned into his hand.

"Now to get the fuck out of this place," he muttered, and with a twirl of his robes, he Disapparated again with a crack.