A/N: Check me out guys! It's only been about a week since I last updated, I'm sure we could all get used to this. However, I must admit, this chapter has not been beta-d so is probably riddled with mistakes and it's short and filler-y.
But it's up in time for Christmas! Hooray! Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter, I haven't replied to anyone and I feel really horrible but I have to revise too, I have six exams in January *dies*. Enjoy!
A Selection of Letters, 15-22 December
15th Dec
Lily,
Get me out of here, please. I've been back home for two hours and already I've been made to unpack and set up the house for the family coming over (though they're not actually coming for a few days) to stay. Get this right! I have to share my bedroom with my cousin Sophie, you know, the one who's studying arithmacy in Nepal? The perfect one? Yes, her. As if I needed anyone else to show me up! James is plenty thankyouverymuch. Worst part is, Mum tried to be all snarky when I kicked up a fuss and said I either had a choice between her staying and Sirius staying. I swear; the look she gave me when I said I'd rather bunk with that lump of Christmas cheer.
Oh! And the comments about my lack of letters home have already begun. Just little ones at first, like the "Oh Billie, haven't heard much from you this term" when we were about to portkey home but then mum decided to really rub it in by getting out the box of (mainly James') letters and showing it to my aunties who had come over to 'inspect' the house (although what the bowtruckle they were supposed to be inspecting is beyond me because they stay every year and the house hasn't change since James and I were very little). But yes, there have been several comments about my lack of contact.
I don't write letters to people I don't like. Sorry folks, that's why I'm writing to you, Lily.
Lily dear please save me.
Please,
Billie x
16th Dec
Billie,
My apologies! It's taken me a day to reply and I do hope you are still in a sane and generally sociable enough mood to read and understand my letter. I'll try to tone down on the low frequency lexis.
Sophie sounds like a real charmer, I suppose the idea of her staying with you is in vain hope that she may inflict some of her worldly knowledge and perfect-ness on to you. I know what you are thinking, that is a job only for Lily Evans! No fear Billie, I am willing to share my responsibilities in order to further your ascent to becoming a Potter saint. I suppose that I should also say that, don't be silly, Billie, I'm sure you are equally as perfect as your cousin. If not more so . . .
It's a good job I don't only send letters to people I like isn't it?
. . . Kidding, I can picture your glare.
As for the saving, no can do I'm afraid. My first day of the holidays has already included three fights, a near slap and a ridiculous amount of crocodile tears. We should have just stayed at Hogwarts together.
Need I explain?
Lily x
16th Dec
Lily,
You need not explain but I know you are itching to. Hogwarts sounds like a beautiful idea at the moment.
16th Dec
Thee who knows me too well,
Vernon.
My sister's wonderful (!) fiancé has been invited round nearly every day and he's even coming over for Christmas dinner (not that he needs it, he looks like a pig in a wig anyway)! Does he not have his own family to force his presence upon?
Worse still, bloody Petunia is insisting that I pretend to be 'normal' in case he thinks that she's a "freak" too and it scares him away. It's not fair because not only do I have to lie about my entire life, I'm not allowed to talk to my parents about my grades or our quidditch success or anything and I have to hide all my robes in my trunk and put dust covers on my books. Dad's being lovely to me though, I don't really get the impression that the aspiring Drill company manager is really his cup of tea. He's certainly not mine.
I would never admit to anyone that I spent all of dinner last night thinking about different potions that could get him out of our lives.
Come to Diagon Alley with me tomorrow? Dad says he can drive us in to London if you can get a portkey to that park you did last time at about 8am? Just us two though, before one of the dynamic duo reads this and gets an idea.
Let me know, use a different owl though, Ethelbert must be tired!
Lily x
16th Dec
Lily,
Tomorrow sounds great. Dad says he can side-along apparate with me. Apparently I need to get used to it – I think he just wants to get away from mum for a bit. She's driving everyone loopy.
It will definitely just be us two, James and Sirius have been playing silly Christmas buggers the past few days, and! (Imagine trumpets) I HAVE DONE TWO THIRDS OF MY ASSIGNED READING. What am I supposed to do when I've read the rest of it? I can't standthem at the moment! Plus, Sophie, Marlene, my other cousin, their parents, and our grandparents are all arriving tomorrow. Can you imagine their reaction to Sirius? I don't want to be there until ovaries have stopped exploding and hormones are at a healthy, normal level.
See you tomorrow, 8 o'clock.
Billie x
17th Dec
Billie,
Well, well, well. Haven't we had an interesting day? In my defence, you should have told me you got car sick, I have medicine for it! In your defence, my dad is a bit of a road hog. But don't tell him I said that, he's in a pretty foul mood because the car still smells like sick and he couldn't believe it when I told him about all the ice cream you ate afterwards. He says he still loves you though, so no need to worry. Don't try to deny you were.
Are you sure about that book I got my mum? I'm really not sure if I'm breaking the International Stature of Secrecy by giving it to her, but surely it could just be passed of as a family heirloom, a book of fairy tales, if anyone asked? And I really do not understand the way you, James and Sirius buy gifts for each other! Isn't it just a waste of money to go out buying the most ludicrous items that the person will probably never use? You did get Remus that really nice shirt though, he'll look great in it. Not sure how much Sirius is going to enjoy his limited edition, singing bath mat – and what you bought James was just cruel. Peter will enjoy the chocolate, I'm sure.
For the tenth or so time, but not the last, I'm sure - you were SO CUTE with Gideon Prewett today! I'm so glad I managed to get you to go and talk to him instead of just waving awkwardly across the street. I mean, you did used to go out. However awkward this point may be, it is a point that needs to be made: Merlin, he is good looking now! I couldn't really see it at Hogwarts but really, you two would make a ridiculously hot couple if Sirius kept his teddy in the cot long enough for you to meet up again. I'm sure it would only take a catch up session or two . . . Owl him. Hey, Kingsley's not that bad looking either, and he didn't seem uninterested in, um, more 'business exchanges'.
Oh! More oddly good news! Petunia has managed to get herself grounded (and she's 19) and Vernon is forbidden to come over because when I got back I went to show mum all the things I had bought, minus the book of course, and Tuney threw a complete fit because Vernon was coming over and she didn't want him seeing all the stuff. I don't think she particularly wanted to see any of it either. Or that she realised that if I did let Vernon see the things I bought I would have my wand snapped – if so she'd have stayed quiet, maybe even invited him in. But yes, Mum took my side and told Petunia to be quiet but then she argued with the father, who was still narked about the sick smell in the car and about having to drive down the motorway "in the middle of bloody December with the bloody window down!" and he really told her where to go.
He's told me that if I over analyse the situation and find something to apologise for then he will personally confiscate all the hot chocolate in the house. So although it's not been pleasant listening to her cry for the last two hours, I'm adamant that it's her fault. Trust me the consequences of not having any hot chocolate are much greater. I'm a horrible person aren't I?
Anyway, how are you? You said the family were arriving, are you yet living, lady disdain?
Lily x
18th Dec
Lily,
Sorry if my handwriting's a bit wibbly – I'm being forced to write this letter with only the light from my wand (calm yourself, there are about twelve adults in the house, they won't be able to trace it.) because 'Soph' as she wants to be called now – "It's Soph, all my friends in a Nepal call me it." Oh sorry Sophiebut last time I checked, I wasn't in Nepal. Silly girl.
Aside from all the hoodlum of my evening, my mother is CRAZY, thank you for a great day! Tell your dad I'm sorry again! I'm actually not usually car sick but your dad does drive like a maniac, how has he still got no points on is thingy? Madman. And I'm glad he still loves me. I was alittleworried when he called me "POTTER!"
Lily! Please stop stressing over that book! The Tales of Beedle the Bard are your standard wizarding family children's stories! She's going to love them and if the word muggle crops up once or twice just say that they're African stories and that there was no English word that matched so they just kept it in the language. If you name a really obscure country then they're less likely to know the language. See, I am a genius liar and a genius gift picker. You will NOT be going to Azkaban for giving that book to your mum.
You're not expected to understand the mysterious ways in which we Marauders operate, I know Sirius is going to adore his limited edition singing bath mat because, he must be the biggest Celestina Warbeck fan I know and that mat will sing A Cauldron Full of Hot Strong Love the whole time he showers. I was so lucky to find James' present! He is going to hate me for so long.
Sweet Merlin Lily! When did you become so riddled with lust? For starters: there will be no more of these 'business exchanges' with Kingsley. The only reason I spoke to him in the first place this year was because he had a bike to sell. Secondly: you've done it for me now. Sirius managed to get hold of the last page of your letter, fortunately he didn't see the bit about his present but the long paragraph about how I should go out with Gid was there; he's been acting oddly quiet since. Although, grumpy Padfoot aside, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN! He looked really, really, rather nice and I can't believe he was wearing that hat I got him for his birthday what, two years ago now? And he's almost an auror – a really good looking, singlewizard cop.
By the way, I have noideawhat you are talking about regarding teddies and cots. It is a silly metaphor and you are honestly incorrect in implying what you are implying Lily Evans.
I will be owling him sometime though.
What a failure on Petunia's part! I hope you're ok, I know how much you hate it when you fall out with her, no matter how good you've gotten at hiding it. Don't apologise, you should never have to hide who you are, not around your family especially. Just think of the hot chocolate . . . now think of it not being there-
Oh Lily. Is it possible disdain should die while she hath such meet food to feed it as the Potter family? As soon as I walked through the door I wanted to turn and walk back out again. All I got was people asking me the same things over and over, how's school? How's quidditch? Have you got a boyfriend? What do you want to be when you leave school? And the looks on their faces when I said I wanted to be an auror or play quidditch. Merlin, they did not quite understand that I was joking on that last one. I've had four lectures on financially stable career choices this afternoon. Of course, I was made to spend the afternoon with Sophie, Marlene and the 'dynamic duo' as you call them. It wasn't too bad, we played quidditch and Marlene's good but she's only ten and Sophie's absolutely crap. James made a bet that he and Sirius could beat Marlene, Sophieand I and yes, he owes me the new Weird Sisters album when it comes out.
All through the game though, and all through dinner, Sophie's been staring at Sirius like she'd want nothing more than do undress him. And between her long and frequent enlightenments about her work in Nepal, she's been flirting with him like she'll never be able to flirt again. It's not only annoying, it's RUDE and James is pretty narked that Sirius' attention is not always on him as he presumed it would be when I got moody with them both. Of course, I can't just be mad at Sophie, Sirius is flirting back just as much. Naturally, she's perfect. It's just really awkward when James and I are just sat there while they're flirting. Marlene doesn't find us cool enough to want to stick around anymore. She doesn't really like Sirius either – would you if you thought he was the reason your usually absent sister was paying as much attention to you as you expected?
What's even more annoying is that after what seems like every ten seconds, mum calls me away from whatever we're doing to help with whatever she feels like at the time. She never calls any of the others to help although James will offer with a dashing smile and get refused with an equally warm one. It's getting right on my nerves. Plus, my family don't seem to understand that, hello, this is my holiday too. My idea of relaxing does not include holding the wool while my Grandmother, my dad's mum, knits indescribable objects. Or making cups of tea or coffee. Especially when Sirius sticks his around the kitchen door and says "Milk, no sugar" before darting off, a giggling Sophie in tow, so I can't tell him exactly where to shove his hot beverage.
How's Lily? Sorry, I don't have a fancy Shakespeare reference for you.
I'm tired! Thanks for today!
Billie x
19th Dec
Bills,
Wow, Sophie sounds like a real charmer. Perfect, even.
I have stopped stressing about the book. If I do find odd references I'll just take it to school with me. Ok, I have not stopped stressing about the book. Also, I fear I will never understand the mysterious ways in which you Marauders operate.
I've just been sat here laughing for ages. He found out and thought he might have to share you again. No wonder he's trying to get in there with Sophie! This is priceless. You should really owl Gideon.
I'mveryproudofyourreplywiththatMuchAdoquote;youdolistentoRemusandIsometimes!No,no,wait,letmeguess,you'rejustacreatureofincrediblyhighintelligenceandyoujustknewthequote?Yourholiday'ssoundingprettynaff.JustdragJamesofftoplayquidditchwithyou.OrflootoRemus'.
Lily's not doing too badly, Tuney still hates me and I've spent most of this morning wandering around town and hogging the swings in the park. I suppose I should really get cracking with my extra potions work but I'm really not sure how I'm going to get away with having my family over and a cauldron upstairs brewing constantly. But Slughorn seemed really excited about me brewing it. Slug Club's starting again after Christmas. I wonder if you'll get another invite . . .
Right, about Sophie, you either need to tell her to back off or you need to tell Sirius to get her to back off. That, or you can grin and bear it all holiday. Your family are a bit weird, if you don't mid me saying. I'm off to the park again, smile, you'll be fine!
Lily x
20th Dec
Lily,
WE'RE OFF TO THE WORLD CUP FRIENDLY! England vs. Portugal, in two days time!
I'm so excited! I'm going to be seeing them all in the flesh! Dom Clarkson, in the flesh (be still my heart). Jen Parker, IN THE FLESH. I am going to die. It's going to be fantastic and hopefully James and I will be able to pick out some new tactics to use in the upcoming tourney. No doubt Sirius will just watch for the fun of it and no doubt Sophie will just watch Sirius. She supports Nepal anyway, of course. I had to restrain myself from snapping at her to go back to freaking Nepal if she likes it that bloody much! I'm so happy though, not even the incessant flirting that Sophie is doing can make me feel annoyed. Hey, I even made twelve cups of tea in one go today (even though we have a house elf . . .) without grumbling once. Dad's been joking all morning about my abrupt mood swing but he seems genuinely happy at my enthusiasm. He keeps saying that this is the last time he's going to be able to take us to a match as 'children'. Mum's told him several times already to stop being so sentimental and just enjoy my good mood while it lasts. Funny, my mum.
It seems people in the house have taken to avoiding me rather than me trying to avoid them. Every time I see someone I feel compelled to tell them how excited I am, which I suppose could get quite annoying. James is the same. We've agreed that if it means we don't have to sit and listen to Sirius and Sophie then it's worth keeping up.
Remus is coming over tomorrow too, that'll be nice, I'm sure he won't abandon me for perfect relative and he's always been good at dealing with James and I when we're over-excited.
How're things?
Billie x
21st Dec
Lily,
Hey! I know I haven't really given you chance to write back yet but I've just been declared out in our impromptu game of musical statues – Sirius is winning although I maintain he should have been out three rounds ago, he WOBBLED – and Marlene would let me help with the music, she's getting a right teenage attitude, so I have nothing better to do than write to you.
Remus went home an hour ago, shame really, I think he would have made a brilliant statue. It was really nice having him around for the day. Sophie must have decided she didn't like that Sirius spoke to him more than her and took Marlene out for the day instead of using my oxygen so we were able to play out in the snow, just the four of us.
We had the most insane snow-man building competition. I lost, but only because Sirius hexed its head off, I swear. Rem told us all about the letters he and Emily have been sending to each other after I found a particularly cute one while rummaging through his pockets. According to him, they're a proper couple now and although that Jade has confessed that she doesn't really want Emily having anything to do with us Marauders, he must be alright if he's been a prefect for two years. I really wish she'd stop judging us all because Sirius dumped her! Remus is as un-Sirius-ish a person you could find. In manner anyway.
So that was my day! Quidditch tomorrow! If I don't hear from you by tomorrow night I am coming over to your house, possibly with an obviously wizarding family, to check Petunia hasn't run you through with a kitchen knife. I'm being serious.
Billie x
22nd Dec
Lily?
Ok, you haven't replied, you have three hours after this letter has been sent to write me back or I swear I will drag magical Potter family butt into your house and see how much your dad loves me then!
Threats aside, today was AMAZING! We won! The standard of play today was incredible. The chasers were passing the quaffle so quickly you could hardly see it and some of the shots Jen Parker played were just breath-taking. She might be the only girl in the team but she certainly knows how to hold her own, even against the surprisingly large Portuguese players. Dom Clarkson. Sophie watched the game when she realised he was playing alright. Bloody hell. It was just so amazing! The Portuguese looked so clumsy in comparison to our team. Made me proud!
We saw Professor Jubential after the match. He was waiting by the portkeys with a triumphant grin on his face. James chatted to him about the match while we waited also and Sophie tried to impress him with her Nepal story. As we were leaving he asked me if all she ever talked about was Nepal, apparently 'you can tell'.
Reply please.
Billie x
22nd Dec
Billie Potter.
You are completely and utterly unnecessary. My sister is scarred for life.
Thank you for the present though. And for the enthusiasm that I hadn't, in fact, been run through with a kitchen knife.
Lily x
A/N: Rewards for those that spotted the Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone reference there. Also, does anyone know why Lily hasn't been replying? I hope I haven't made it too obvious . . . I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Only one more before I split the story and I'm really hoping to get it posted this week before Christmas because it's a better chapter but we'll have to cross our fingers because: revision. I am so naff at writing kiss scenes it's untrue.
If you're feeling all christmassy why not read my one shot The Twelve Days of Christmas? It's James/Lily and it's one of my favourite fics I've written, it's better than most of this anyway :')
