Hi, everyone! Sorry, I'm addressing you all as one again, but I won't make a habit out of it. I'm just in a rush and wanted to get this chapter up before I got too busy! Thank you all again for your continued support. It's what keeps the story going. Without your reviews, I would have never taken Renaissance this far. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm going to wait until the new movie comes out, so that I can compare it to the book and figure out how I want to write the next chapter, so there might be a little wait, but I haven't abandoned you! Have some lemons to hold you over. ;)
Chapter #43: Tell Me
After making a game out of dodging other Renaissance on their way back to the apartment, Eric had chased her down in the home stretch and scooped her up just as she was making a reach for the door. His entire being felt inexplicably weightless as he carried her into the apartment, almost as if he were floating, locking the door behind him as Rain stole a kiss to his neck. Once inside, he let her down, and she kicked off her boots, allowing her dress to flow back to the floor in a sea of white.
It was so odd seeing her dressed in such a bright fabric, but it only made radiance shine brighter, standing out against the dark room like a ghost of pure elegance. She had disappeared into the bathroom for a couple minutes, and when she had reemerged her face was once again clean of makeup; though, her lips still held a pink tint from the stubborn red lipstick. Still beautiful. Even as she fell back on the bed with an exhausted huff, she maintained a flawless grace that left him entranced. The giggle that left her as he almost immediately climbed over her was like bells, as he leaned down to press an affectionate kiss to her neck.
"Stay right there," he muttered against her skin.
Sitting back, he watched as she watched him curiously when he pulled out a pocket camera. Little did she know, he had been snapping photos of her all day. The radiant smile that spread across her face made her glow when he lifted the camera and snapped a photo of her. At that moment, she was the single most breathtaking thing he had ever laid eyes upon, the golden light of the sunset bathing her in a warm hue, illuminating her skin and contrasting with her rosy lips. Her hair was sprawled out on the wrinkled sheets, dark waves forming a crown around her face as she smiled up at him.
Rain bit her lip while smiling as he snapped another photo, and she reached up to grab him by the belt. "Come here." She pulled him down into a sensual kiss, humming low in her throat as his cologne invaded her nostrils. "You smell amazing," she purred.
He smiled. Shrugging off his jacket, he hung it on one of the bedposts and looked down when he felt her hand on his arm, only to see she was tracing her fingertips over his tattoos.
She came to a stop on the circle that once held the Dauntless flame, taking his arm and lifting it to inspect the tattoo more closely. After a brief moment, she realized he had changed the Dauntless symbol set in the maze-like pattern to Renaissance. Before she knew it, she was smiling, eyes lifting to his.
His lips twitched faintly in response. "Had it done last night."
"After your little trip to the hospital bay?"
His eyes shifted to hers.
She just smiled. "You have no idea how much you helped that boy when you took the time to sit down and talk to him."
He shrugged, not quite meeting her stare. "Just know what it's like is all."
She ran her hand over his chest, staring up at him thoughtfully. "If only your father could see you now."
At those words, his eyes met hers directly, but then his lips were twitching upward the slightest bit. Looming over her, his hands pressed down on the sheets on either side of her head, and he was slowly leaning in to capture her lips with his. Her skin was scented with a refreshing perfume that smelled of rainwater and roses, and he found himself breathing her in deeply, getting high with a single inhale.
Just like he had when he'd made love to her at the Dauntless compound, he peeled her away layer by layer, taking time to run his hands over her smooth skin and carefully remove the beautiful dress from her body. It took him a good five minutes, for he kept getting distracted by her impatient hands sneaking their way beneath his clothes as well, while he indulged himself in capturing one of her breasts in his mouth. He wasn't able to control himself for long, though, when she arched with a gasp and throaty moan beneath him, and within the next two minutes she was completely bare.
Before he knew it, she had pulled his clothes off, and they had rejoined once again. No rapid, carnal actions commenced, as they both enjoyed a round of slow but passionate lovemaking, his arms around her with his fingers tangled in her hair as he kissed her deeply.
Rain was lost in a blissful daze, her brain muddled through a haze of the most incredible pleasure and contentment she had ever experienced, as the man above her kissed and sucked every inch of exposed skin he could reach without ceasing in his movements. How? How had this happened? How had she become so irreversibly in love with this man? How had he fallen for her just the same? It all felt like a blur to her, but she decided she didn't care how it happened. All that mattered was that he was hers, and she loved him more than anything else in existence.
Her back arched with a small cry when he hit her sweet spot, and she could feel him angle his hips to ensure he continued to hit that area within her. Another moan escaped her as the feeling within her intensified steadily in result, and she lifted her legs to wrap them around his waist, drawing him closer.
His thrusts remained steady, but he didn't allow himself to fall into his usual rapid, unrelenting pace, moving within her at a steady but slow pace, pulling out and pushing back in firmly against that spot that threatened to tip her over the edge with every thrust.
Rain felt as though she would climax any second, and yet her orgasm was so far away it almost hurt. How did he do this to her? Once again, she decided she didn't care. Her arms are wrapped around his back, legs tightening gradually around his waist, breathing growing increasingly labored. Amid her ecstasy, she felt his hand cup her jaw, fingers tangling in her hair as he gently tilted her head back against the pillows.
"Look at me," he whispered.
Her eyes opened, meeting his hazily, full lips parted and begging to be kissed. He was staring down at her intently, eyes drilling into hers. God, he had beautiful eyes. She couldn't look away, completely under his spell. Then suddenly, her head was craning back with a throaty, desperate moan as he increased pressure, and her eyes closed.
"Look at me, Rain."
Again, she forced her eyes open, looking back up at him with features contorted in intense pleasure. Her thighs had begun to tremble at this point. God, if he kept hitting that spot...
"Erriiiccc..."
Then it was upon her. Her breath left her as she climaxed, her body lurching upwards with a sharp intake, before she was shattering helplessly beneath him with a shrill cry. As she rode out her orgasm, groping and clawing at his back, he devoured her neck, making her moan louder as he increased the strength and speed of his thrusts just as she was climaxing. Then she felt him shudder, holding her tightly as he came with heavy, shaking breaths mere seconds after she was done. She didn't release him right away, not at all ready to feel empty and without him once more.
"I love you so much," she whispered breathily, muffled by his shoulder.
Turning his head, he pressed his nose to her temple, kissing the skin there with a rare affection. "How did I end up with you?"
She smiled up at him. "I ask myself the same about you every day."
He snorted. "I'm the fuckup. You're the one worth chasing."
"Are you joking? Have you seen yourself?"
The corner of his mouth tugged upwards in a vague smirk.
"And you're not a fuckup. You just have a lot of blond moments. It's genetic; it can't be helped—" She laughed into his palm when he pressed his hand over her mouth, shaking his head down at her.
"Keep up the sass. I still haven't gotten back at you for the heart attack you gave me today. Did it ever occur to you I might drop dead when you invited half the city to the marriage?"
She just smiled up at him innocently. "It was hardly half."
"But did you have to invite Four?"
This time she laughed out loud. "He would have found out anyway!"
His only response was to stare down at her flatly, hardly impressed by her answer.
"He's never going to let you live it down."
"Yes, I know. Thank you."
She giggled. "Four had a thing for me once, but now he mostly sees me as a sister. If he gives you any grief, just tell him in explicit detail what you do to me in bed, and I can promise you'll never hear from him again."
Eric smirked. "Then why don't we just go with my original idea and record it?"
She laughed. "Because I don't need a video of my ass getting passed all over the city!"
He shrugged. "Why? You have a great ass." A snort left him when she made a point out of slapping his rear, reaching back to grab her hand and pin it above her head. "Don't tempt me, sweetheart."
Rain quirked a challenging eyebrow. "Call me sweetheart again."
Shaking his head, he silenced her with a kiss. "Shut up."
What had started out as a simple kiss had quickly gained heat, his mouth pressing a wet trail starting at her jaw to the base of her throat, making her crane her head back and arch into him when he purposely pressed down, still inside her. Her eyes had rolled back fleetingly at the delicious pressure, and then she was suddenly rolling him onto his back. He allowed her, as she straddled him before rejoining their lips once again as she began to slowly rock on top of him.
His eyes were intense, staring directly into hers; dominant even in the submissive position. After a minute, she dipped her head to kiss his neck as he gripped her hips, counterthrusting against her. She was unable to suppress the moan that left broke free from her lips, the sound lighting his blood on fire.
"Let me be on top," he said hoarsely.
Disabled by the throaty tone in his voice, she allowed him to roll her onto her back, only to grow confused when he pulled out. Stepping off the bed, he pulled her to the corner and rested her leg over his shoulder before entering her once more. Leaning forward, he supported himself on the bed with his hands, looming over her, and the next thing she knew he was taking her hard and fast. She released a cry as he rested down on his forearms, hands tangling in her hair as he clashed their mouths together, to which she responded enthusiastically.
Eric pulled away only enough to look down at her face. She was visibly trying to hold back her moans, the way she bit her lip making him want to claim that lower lip with his teeth. "Come on, Rain," he grunted, "let me hear you."
He increased his speed, and her mouth opened to let out loud moan as hoped, crying out with every downward thrust. Words couldn't describe how much he loved the sound, as she cried out his name in a shrill, lust-fuelled voice. An electric shock coursed through his body with every sound and tremble from her, taking her harder the louder she got.
"Eric, it feels so good!"
It took all he had in him not to tip over the edge right there on the spot, a growling moan making its escape from his throat as he felt her nails digging into his shoulders. "Rain, I'm gonna cum," he rasped.
"Please don't stop," she moaned desperately.
It wasn't long after that, to his relief, as she came heavily with a piercing scream, nails raking down his back. He arched, and then he was shattering with the sensation of her walls clenching around him, crying out her name. As the tension gradually left his body, he collapsed on top of her, panting and sweating. Amidst the pleasurable haze, he could feel her trailing her fingers against the small of his back, chest heaving as he rested his head on the warm cushion of her breasts. For a long few minutes they just remained like that, until he finally mustered up the strength to get back on the bed with her, scooting back into a more comfortable position as she rolled over and snuggled up against his side.
"Wow," she breathed.
Still breathing a bit heavy himself, he managed a smile, arm wrapping around her shoulders. It remained comfortably silent between them for an nameless amount of time, neither of them willing to fall asleep and end the night just yet. After awhile, it was Eric who spoke first, mouth moving a couple times before actually forming the words he was looking for.
"You know, I've been thinking..."
Rain's head moved on his chest to look up at him.
"I didn't know your last name until today when Johanna said it at the ceremony..."
Her initial response was to blink silently, taken aback by the statement. "That's because I never told you."
"I know, but... why wasn't that cleared up beforehand?" Folding his arm back behind his head, he looked down at her. "I don't even know your birthday."
Before she realized it, a smile had come to creep across her lips. "November fourth."
His eyes fell, silently logging the information into his memory. Well, at least he hadn't missed it.
"Yours is August ninth."
A scoff had escaped him before he could stop it. "Seriously?"
She just smiled up at him innocently. "What? Am I not inclined to stalk you as your officer?"
Scoffing again, he shook his head up at the windows above them. "Showoff."
She chuckled. "I'm going to have to get used to calling myself Mrs. Greyson."
Eric was quiet. It was so bizarre. For years he had resented that name, but suddenly, hearing it in such a manner softened his hate for it. The main reason he hated his name was because of his father, but it also had to do with the fact it was a direct link to his past.
"Eric, can I ask you something?"
He returned his gaze to her, surprised at how quickly he responded to the question. "Yeah."
"You abandoned your last name because of your father... right?"
It was like she was in his head. "Yeah."
"...Why did you keep your first name?"
He had been expecting this, but he found himself hesitating. Even now, looking back at his past was not an easy task, especially when it concerned his family, but this was Rain. His wife. The thought nearly caused him to shake his head. It felt alien and unreal in his head, never mind out loud. Months ago he had been unable to stand her. Now he was entranced by a mere glance. It would never make sense to him for as long as he lived.
"...The only reason I kept my first name when entering Dauntless..." He licked his lips, inhaling to keep his nerves settled. "My mother. She picked the name when I was born. If it had been the old bastard, I would have changed it."
Rain propped herself up on her elbow. Her eyes were warm and thoughtful, a dark hazel-green as she stared down at him in concealed wonder. "What was her name?"
He wasn't meeting her gaze, but he answered. "Emily."
She'd taken to tracing her fingertips over his chest, knowing it helped distract him when he felt troubled. She knew he didn't like talking about his past, and that it was hard for him, but it made her happy he wasn't pushing her away this time around, so she gently prodded further.
"...What was she like?"
Eric released a long exhale through his nose. "She was a lot like your mother. When I was young... I was weak, and I mean that in both a physical and mental aspect. After the spiders, my immune system was very weakened, and I would get sick a lot. She would take time out of work to take care of me." He paused for a moment, Adam's apple moving in a silent swallow as he stared up at the stars above through the glass panes. "There's another reason I can't stand Four."
Rain blinked, taken off guard by the sudden change in topic.
"Because I know about his past... it's just a constant reminder of mine. Both our dads were dicks... and they both abused our mothers."
Her lips parted slowly, stunned that he would willingly reveal such information without her having to ask. It was even more shocking that he would openly admit he was similar to Four in any way, shape, or form.
"Unlike Four, however, I'm not scared of my father, so he never showed up in any of my fear landscapes. That's how everyone knows about Four's past. No one knows mine... not in detail, anyway. Max and Jeanine knew the most, but they're dead now, so that leaves basically no one."
Rain just continued to listen silently, patiently waiting for him to continue. She knew he would as long as he didn't feel pressured to do so, and he did, albeit reluctantly.
"I'd try to help her whenever he lashed out at her... but I was just a kid, and he was a hell of a lot stronger. I could never do anything to help her. It made me feel weak, and it's one of the main reasons I joined Dauntless. I wanted to prove I could be strong... to finally put him in his place. And I did. I just wish my mother had been there to see it."
"She saw it," Rain finally said, voice gentle.
He didn't respond, still not meeting her gaze.
"She would be so proud of you, Eric."
Slowly, he shook his head, staring up at the sky with grim eyes. "She wouldn't be proud of me. Despite all I did to defy the old bastard... I became just like him. I killed innocents. I was a tyrant. I hit women." His expression visibly twisted with a grimace in disgust at himself, traces of pain making it to his eyes despite the impassive stare he was so intently directing at the stars.
Without hesitation, Rain was moving over him, straddling his lap and taking his face in her hands. She forced him to look at her, her eyes locking with his with an immovable intensity. "Must we go through this again?" she said softly but with a firmness that made it clear the topic was not up for argument. "I forgave you. Your friends forgave you. Renaissance forgave you. Even people from Amity and other factions are seeing the man you've become. Hell, Four and Tris see it, Eric."
His eyes had developed a faint shine, but they remained cold and rigid, and he tried to look off to the side, but a firm nudge from her had him stubbornly meeting her gaze once more. Rather than speaking, though, she captured his lips in a kiss. It acted as an instant balm, his tensed muscles loosening almost instantly beneath her. When she pulled away, her hands still holding his face, he looked up at her with a softer glint wavering in his slate blues.
Rain smiled down at him lovingly, thumbs trailing over his cheeks with affection. "I love you."
In spite of being forced to recall unwanted memories, he willed forth a small but genuine smile in return, and she met his lips again in a brief kiss. He just stared up at her for what felt like minutes afterwards, dissecting her eyes with his. It amazed him how comfortable he had become with her, especially when it came to this particular topic. He was revealing his darkest parts of her—the parts that made him weak—and she had never expressed a single speck of judgment.
He couldn't believe what he was about to say.
"...Thirteen."
Rain blinked. "Thirteen?"
"Thirteen fears."
She blinked slowly, silently staring at him in what he took as incredulous anticipation. A part of him was snapping at him to shut up. That it was none of her business. The other half knew there was no logical reason he should keep it from her, and that it was something she was deeply curious about. She could have went into his records and found out for herself. She could have made him reveal everything while he was under the Truth serum—but she hadn't. She wanted him to tell her willingly, without being forced, and that meant more to him than she would ever know.
Licking his lips, he glanced down, and then finally spoke after a moment. "You already know fire, drowning, and spiders. Another one is dogs, because of what happened to my legs. I'm sure you've figured out the intimacy one on your own. We all know how easy it is to get close to me."
Rain's lips twitched.
"Being publicly humiliated. Who doesn't fear that, right?"
"Right." She smiled.
"I'm extremely claustrophobic," he muttered. "I break out into a cold sweat, and my heart races."
Rain studied him closely, hesitating with her question. "Any particular reason?"
He was silent at first, avoiding her gaze completely, eyes cold, but she knew it wasn't directed at her. "Just can't stand the thought of being trapped in a tight space with no room to move... and then the thought of something being in there with me always makes it worse."
"Like spiders?"
He nodded. "Yeah."
She rested her head down on her fist. "Go on."
He grimaced. "Being restrained... like, tied down. You can guess why."
Her eyes fell, suppressing a shiver as she recalled the horrifying story of what happened to him.
"Another predictable one: imperfection. You know by now I have issues with that." The way he spoke was deadpanned and offhanded, as if he were trying to play it off like it wasn't that big of an issue, but Rain knew enough to know it was just a cover-up for bruised pride. "Being buried alive was always a big one. Feeds into the claustrophobia."
"Who wouldn't be afraid of that?"
He glanced at her, but only fleetingly. "One of my biggest fears ever was to become paralyzed... Naturally, that was the one to come bite me in the ass."
"And you came around and bit it right back." She kissed his cheek. "It's honestly incredible the things you've recovered from. You keep telling me you have a weak immune system, but I'm not seeing it."
Finally, he willed forth a miniscule smile, but it was gone the next second as his brain continued to run down the list in his head. "Number twelve is lame."
"I doubt that. Just tell me."
He sighed heavily through his nose, clearly unwilling.
"Eric, you've gotten this far. Just tell me."
Sighing again, he stared up at the glass above them, giving in stubbornly and abashedly. "Being forgotten."
Her response was immediate, scoffing lightly as she laid her head on his shoulder. "Well, you can scratch that one off the list, because it's not going to happen with the history you've made... the history you're going to make."
He glanced down at her.
"What's the thirteenth?"
He was quiet. As seconds turned into minutes, she contemplated asking again, the curiosity rising within her at his silence, but then he answered, his voice quieter than usual.
"Losing you."
Rain wasn't sure why she was so silenced. Perhaps it was the way he said it, quiet and hesitant, as if he were afraid to admit it to himself. Of course, she already knew he cared for her, but she hadn't contemplated the fear had dug itself so deep that it had added itself to his fear landscapes.
Lifting herself up, she looked down at him, eyes gazing upon his with a soft warmth. As her hand cupped his cheek, he continued to stare up at her impassively, but she could see it. He was scared. He was afraid. She could already tell it was going to cause a problem once they journeyed behind the wall, but she'd worry about that later.
She traced her thumb over his cheek, voice quiet as she spoke. "You're not going to lose me. I am promising you that."
He shook his head slowly. "You can't make a promise like that, Rain."
"Well, I am. We're going to be okay, Eric."
He looked away. It was silent for long time after that, when he suddenly looked back at her, a curious glint having formed in his eyes, yet he didn't speak right away.
"...Why haven't you been with anyone for so long?"
Rain's eyes lowered momentarily, but she didn't seem bothered by the question, to his relief.
"I've only been with one other man intimately aside from you."
His eyebrows shot high before he could stop them.
"It wasn't really anything serious," she continued. "It was when I was back in Factionless. I didn't fall in love with him." Her eyes had softened as she gazed upon him. "I just never felt a connection with anyone... not like the one I have with you. I can't have children, so I wasn't in a rush to start a family, nor was I even in a rush to lose my virginity. It just kind of happened." Her fingers brushed his cheek tenderly. "But you... I've never seen stars when kissing a man before I met you. When I see you, I get butterflies in my stomach. When I touch you, I feel like I could literally melt into you. I've never felt such a powerful attraction to someone in my life."
If an ocean storm could be seen in someone's eyes, it was in Eric's. Before she knew what had happened, he had moved over her, and she relished his warm skin against hers as he took her lips hostage for the hundredth time that night. Willfully, she submitted to him, melting beneath him like butter.
They made love deep into night, their moans, sighs, and gasps the only sound in the room as they pleasured each other. They had switched positions a few times throughout, and at one point he had flipped her onto her stomach, laying flat on top of her as she moaned beneath him. His hands had slipped under her to hold her hands with his as he thrust deep within her, listening with barely contained desire as she all but screamed under him, helplessly pinned yet trusting him completely. It ended with her on top, cradling his head as she rocked on top of him, listening to his ragged breaths with pleasure. She used her grip on his hair to tilt his head back and kiss him, travelling southwards to his neck as his shaky breaths filled her ears. He had fallen into complete lapse of ecstasy, having never felt this good in his life. His entire body was tingling with an inexplicably blissful pleasure. He never wanted it to stop, and involuntarily he began to think back on everything she had done for him, ticking each one off in his head in rhythm with each downward thrust of her hips. When he felt the words forming in the back of his throat, he made no effort to stop them when they broke free.
"I love you," he moaned.
He saw nothing and felt everything, as her hands held his face, and her lips met his devotedly. "I love you."
God, I feel like I've been writing a chick flick for the past few chapters. I can hear Jacob's words to Eric in my head "Honestly, Eric, sometimes when I'm talking to you I feel like I'm in a fucking soap opera." Now that these two are finally hitched, let's get back to some action! Who's ready to see Eric and Four enter the battlefield together? Good luck, Rain.
