Sanem Soysal-Divit

I've been writing my novella since I was 13 years old...it has grown from a school girl crush to a hot blooded woman's obsession. I've actually rewritten it a 100 times and this is the final draft!

Every time I think I've finished it, I realize that my Albatross isn't quite as majestic, grandiose, authentic, genuine and real as I'd like him to be! It may be because I hadn't met him yet and he was just a figment of my imagination. Then, I met the man, the myth, the legend, my husband, love of my life and soulmate Can Divit!

I've been brutally honest about my failings... and laid bare all of the things I should've done better and differently... including when I should've been 'once bitten twice shy'. It's a sliding doors moment of what could have been if I had been more honest with him, even when protecting him against real and imaginary evils!

The story I have to tell is author backed for Albatross...naturally! On the last rewrite, I spent a few months reliving every single day since our first kiss, uncertain times, our attraction for each other, my betrayal of his trust, becoming friends, becoming lovers, my perfume situation, family drama, becoming engaged and getting married! OH... being married to him and becoming his is... is the best part of it, almost indescribable!

Of course, we honeymooned in the Galapagos islands! It was my first time leaving the country, I've been dreaming for what feels like a million years, and he kept his promise to take me... it's such a mind-blowing experience being there with him!

A picture maybe worth a thousand words... but my husband's photographs stun me wordless! What he can do with the camera is second only to what he can do in bed... so beautiful, poignant, evocative, powerful and sexy!

I can't believe that I thought he was the "Kötü kral"... and still couldn't help being overwhelmingly attracted to him in every possible sense. I did spend hours ogling him and mimicking his style... and wondering what it would feel to be held and kissed by him!

Can my man cook or what? I've gained a little weight since our wedding. It happens when I'm being spoiled everyday with his versatile palette & taste in food and diverse culinary skills! It's not just that... he's taken to feeding me in the most sensual and erotic ways possible! Can food be such a turn-on? I had no idea...but it is with Can!

It was a joy to crack that cocanut - so rough, hard and macho on the outside but so soft, pure, enriching and life quenchingly sweet on the inside! My mind has captured all of his feelings, mannerisms, micro-expressions, inflections and how his body language alters in my presence. I'm mesmerized when he transforms from being 6' tall and wide to a curlable form that fits me perfectly...!

I can now distinguish his voice anywhere in the world, even in a crowded room with a hundred people... it sounds like melted velvety chocolate to my ears and I'm drawn to him like it's a siren. I can't keep it together when he's doing a presentation and everyone is hanging on his every word... I simply want to drag him from there and do things to him!

I'm almost tolerating women, and sometimes men, paying him extra attention. Poor them... they can eat their little heart out...he's mine after all! I cruelly enjoy seeing them crash and burn when he draws a line with that distinct expression of deference to me and preference of me.

My man can seduce anyone with his eyes... and my body turns into jelly and catches fire when he looks at me, really looks at me, into my eyes and touches my soul and umm... other parts! If looks could kill, he definitely slays me every single time...!

Damn... I lose my mind and yet feel at home when he's naked! His manly smell lingers everywhere... on our bed, on me, everywhere he's been... and I'm hypnotized, bewitched and enraptured by his touch, embrace... his body.. all of him! And he's all mine... I'm ONE lucky girl!

Beyond all the blissfulness that is Can Divit, his most precious asset, strength, weakness, forte and possession is his heart!

To those he loves and specifically for me, he's extremely kind, totally open-minded, giving his all, loyal to fault, full of pride, emotional and sensitive, filled with patience, loves without restraint and wildly... he is the best man I've ever known in this life!

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I've not let him read the novella... and told him I'd like it to be surprise for him! It is... a love letter that's taken me my entire life to write! I can see the anticipation is killing him... and I can't wait to share it!

Can Divit

Sanem and her publisher are busy today preparing for the book launch party tomorrow evening. She'll be back late afternoon and I'm preparing a romantic and cozy dinner to celebrate! I'm lounging at home and a messenger just delivered a copy of her novella for me to read. It's gift wrapped in a bow with the handwritten signature of hers : "C."

With bated breath and excited anticipation, I rip open the package... expecting to find a hard bound book. OMG... what I see stuns me and I collapse in my favorite chair! She's sent me her novella, handwritten in elegant & sexy cursive, on vintage paper... all 25000 words of it... the dedication says : "Canım"

The world stands still for next 3 hours... I'm entrenched, immersed & engulfed in her words!

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Who is this protagonist? The way she describes him, that Albatross is a demi-God! I can't begin to even fathom who I am, as seen through her eyes... and how she writes of me with adoration, devotion, alternating between cherishing me and carnal appreciation! I'm reborn at the end of her words... tears are flowing in my eyes, I realize what an honor it is to be distinguished, recognized and embraced by her love for me!

..
I CAN'T write a novella to describe my love for her... but I CAN demonstrate and live everyday to make myself worthy of her words!
I CAN't wait for her to get home...

Author's Note: Funny, I CAN and did have a word play on "Can" and "can't" for this piece... it was fun!

Can = Life, Vigor (Ja-an in Hindi, Urdu, Sanskrit, Turkish, Persian)

Canım means "My life" or "(My) Darling/Dear"

Meaning/usage in many languages : . ?term=JAAN