A/N - Set sometime in Blame Booze and Melville. Enjoy, and please review! And I apologise in advance for the lack of Jess, but I'm trying to establish something here, and figure out for myself exactly how I can rationalise some of Rory's actions. So this chapter might be a bit all over the place. You have been warned!

Comfortably Numb

So maybe Rory felt a little guilty about ditching her mom, to spend the night with Logan, but she wasn't going to focus on that right now.

She knew her mom didn't like him. She'd been wary from the beginning, and finding out about their 'open relationship' hadn't gained him any points in her mother's eyes. But, Rory told herself, Lorelai was just getting a bit old fashioned these days. And it wasn't an open relationship anymore anyway. She was his official girlfriend now. Lorelai would just have to get used to that.

She hadn't like Jess at first either. Well...she'd never liked Jess, but then neither had almost anyone else. Hmm. He probably wasn't her best argument. Dean. Her mother hadn't liked Dean at the beginning, but she'd grown to. Okay, so maybe she hadn't liked him much the second (make that the third) time around, but...well that whole incident was best forgotten.

Momentarily distracted by guilt over her ill-gotten romance with the once married man, Rory felt her mood darken. She fought to ignore it, and focus her attention back to Logan instead – her boyfriend.

She felt a peculiar sense of satisfaction at that thought. Logan Huntzberger was her boyfriend. It wasn't the usual girlish rush of affection, or excitement – rather it was a thrill of accomplishment. She, Rory Gilmore, had scored Logan Huntzberger as her boyfriend. She felt a little as though she'd caught Moby Dick.

Logan was in the centre of the crowd, currently engaged in a fierce debate with Robert. Poor Robert didn't stand a chance, and Rory felt proud as she watched her boyfriend smartly wipe the floor with him. Everyone in the room was watching him. He was the centre of attention, but he was hers.

Okay, so maybe he hadn't had much time for her tonight. The guys from the Life and Death Brigade were particularly rowdy, and Logan wasn't the type to hold back at a party. But every now and then he threw her a charmingly devilish smile or a secretive wink – as if he was sharing a secret with her.

And he did just that, after trouncing another of Robert's ill thought out arguments. Feeling that thrill again, Rory was about to smile back when she heard the lusty sighs of a couple of nearby girls. For a moment she felt thrown. It occurred to her (and if she was being honest, not for the first time), that she wasn't the only one that had been on the receiving end of his 'charms.' She felt her face grow warm suddenly, wondering what the other girls were thinking and what they knew. Had they...? Had he....?

Across the room a curvy redhead moved away from Finn and sidled up to Logan, saying something to him with a knowing smile before arching an amused eyebrow and walking away. Had she...? Had he...?

Suddenly every girl in the room seemed to be a threat. As far as Rory knew, Logan could have been with any and all of them. He could have done with them what he'd done with her last night... Had he...?

'Why are you only nice to me?'

Rory scowled at the involuntary recollection; memories of a picnic on the bridge, of a book debate and an afternoon on the couch in Luke's apartment. He was never going to be really gone, was he? There had been nothing charming about Jess. He was as rough as they came. But he'd never even looked at another girl when they were together. Not the way Logan did.

She remembered the smell of smoke on his clothes sometimes. She hated smokers – always had. But somehow, with Jess, she'd managed to ignore it. Maybe the smell wasn't perfect, but Jess...

Ugh. Stop! She was dating Logan, not Jess. Jess was long gone. Logan was here and he wanted her and, she thought maliciously, he was certainly never going to die from lung cancer. She watched as Finn approached him with a tray of whisky shots, eager to find another distraction, now that his redhead had left him. As the shots quickly disappeared, a stray thought entered Rory's mind: what would kill you faster? Lung cancer or liver failure? Was one really better than the other?

The tray emptied, Logan made his way over to the couch that Rory occupied and flopped down next to her.

'What's going on, Ace?'

Rory smiled at him uncertainly. What was she supposed to say? But before she could decide on a response, Logan spoke again.

'You're not drinking! Why aren't you drinking?'

'I have to drive home, remember?'

Logan frowned and rubbed at his forehead. 'No you don't. Stay with me.'

Holding back a sigh, Rory shook her head. 'I told you, I can't. I'm supposed to be helping Mom shop for things for Sookie's baby shower. If it doesn't get done tomorrow it won't get done at all.'

Logan waved an arm about, agitated. 'So? Why do you have to do that? Your mom can shop by herself, can't she? I need you, Ace.' He wrapped and arm about her shoulder and nuzzled his face into her neck. 'Don't leave me alone!'

Rory's brain fizzled for a moment, not sure whether she should be angry at Logan dismissing her responsibilities like that, or touched that he wanted to spend time with her...

She remembered her mom's cool gaze when she'd asked her if they could postpone their movie night, for this party and suddenly felt indignant. What right did Lorelai have to get jealous? Sure, they had a freakishly close bond, but she was growing up now. She was a sophomore in college. She was supposed to go out to parties and spend time with her boyfriend.

She patted Logan's knee. 'Okay. I'll stay. You're right. Mom doesn't need me to shop.'

A while later, Rory slipped away from the party and used her cell phone to call home. The answering machine picked up, and she figured her mom was spending the night at Luke's. 'Um, hi Mom. Just wanted to let you know I'm going to stay at Logan's for the weekend. I mean, you don't really need me to help with the shopping and he's...- We haven't had much time together lately, with work and school and stuff so... I'll speak to you later. Bye.'

Hanging up the phone she couldn't help but think that she should feel liberated. She was taking control of her own life; making her own decisions, without needing the approval of her mother or the town of Stars Hollow.

'Hey, Ace! What are you doing out here? Come and try this drink. Finn and Colin are calling it the Head Splitter!'

She let Logan grab her hand and haul her back into the centre of the party. She took the drink that he passed to her and swallowed it down, much to the satisfaction of Logan and his friends. Yes. She was making her own decisions now... wasn't she?