Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.
Chapter Forty-eight
Maryland – June 21, 1848
Michaela sat on the deck of the sailboat as the wind whipped through her hair. It was the perfect day for sailing – a bright summer sun in a crystal clear blue sky and the right amount of wind. The wind pushed at the white sails puffing them out to capacity as the boat cut through the waters of the bay drawing ever closer to the river. Michaela knew exactly how fortunate she was to be sitting here heading to Anna's house. She also knew that she owed that stroke of good luck to her sister Rebecca who sat at the back of the sailboat with Anne beside her and holding Robert in her lap. Without her presence here, Elizabeth would never have agreed to let Sully and her come.
Sully was up helping John as they brought the boat around to enter the river. Michaela watched him as he helped bring the mainsail around and she smiled to herself. Already she had noticed subtle changes in his physique. He had shot up at least six inches since Christmas and was now noticeably taller than Michaela. His arms were more defined than before as was his chest. In general he was stronger and growing stronger everyday. On the last day of school, he had literally picked her up and carried her across the Common after an extended chase. That had surprised Michaela and she reveled in the way his arms felt around her – it was no longer only an emotional safeness she felt inside of them but a physical safeness as well.
Marjorie had been offered the chance to come but she had turned it down. Anna's house still held too many painful memories for her and she knew that coming would only remind her of last summer and Paul. Finally she had begun to heal from everything that had happened and she didn't want to risk falling back into the depression that had gripped her for most of the winter months. Besides Michaela's tutor, Everett had begun to take a concentrated interest in Marjorie during the spring and though Marjorie was taking things slow, she still enjoyed the attention immensely.
When the boat was safely in the river and their course was sure, Sully joined Michaela on the bow. Right now his skin was still awfully pale from a mild Boston spring but Michaela knew within a week's time the sun would ripen him to a golden brown. Again she had that feeling that there was something about him that felt older and more mature. It was this same something that made Michaela nervous in a way she hadn't been in ages.
"Beautiful day," Sully remarked staring off towards the horizon.
"Yes it is," Michaela replied looking over at him and noticing the same forlorn look she had seen earlier on the train. "Did you bring your paints?" Michaela asked. "I bet the marsh would look beautiful in this light." Sully shook his head but did not meet her eyes. This did not surprise Michaela. He had painted only a handful of times since Christmas though he still sketched often. She knew it had something to do with the loss of Paul as his encourager and no matter how hard she tried to get him to pick up a paint brush, he always had an excuse. "Are you alright?" she asked in a low voice letting her eyes roam over his face.
He turned to look at her giving her a weak smile. "Yeah," he replied casually,holding her gaze in his own.
Michaela saw the troubled expression that contradicted his words and she took a deep breath knowing she needed to choose her next words carefully. "Will you tell me what's troubling you?"
Sully sighed. "That's the problem. I don't exactly know. I have this sense that things just ain't right."
"Things aren't right? At Anna's?" Michaela was confused by Sully's statement.
"I don't know. Just got this feeling that something bad is gonna happen."
"You just feel that way because of last summer. This summer will be totally different. Rebecca is nothing like Marjorie. I know you haven't ever really had a chance to know her but you'll see. Robert and Anne are nothing like Claudia. It will actually be fun to play with them," she laughed as she said this last part and Sully smiled as he watched her face light up. "Don't forget Anna says she is back to her old self again. You'll see, Sully, this summer is going to be the best one yet."
"I hope so," Sully replied trying to shake the uneasiness that had settled upon him ever since they had changed trains in New York.
Michaela could see the cloud settling back over his face and more than anything she wanted to make it go away. The thing that frustrated her was that she knew how to dispel it. In the past few months she had become acutely aware of how to soothe him without speaking a word. If they were alone, she would sit behind him and wrap her arms around him laying her chin on his shoulder before placing light kisses to his neck where she knew he was extremely ticklish. Or if that didn't work she would have him lay his head in her lap and she would gently stroke his hair running her fingers over his cheek as he quietly drifted off to sleep.
Quickly she glanced back over her shoulder noticing that Rebecca was talking with John. Sliding closer to Sully, she ran her fingers down his arm and laid her hand over his on the deck.
"Michaela," he scolded. "Rebecca could be watching."
"She's not," Michaela said still glancing back at the two in the stern of the boat. Again she ran her hand down his arm and this time when she looked back at his face, she noticed the smile there. It was not weak or contrived; it was the smile that she loved.
Deciding it best not to let her hand linger for too long, she removed it from Sully's.
"I was thinkin' bout last summer," Sully said the smile still etched on his face.
"Umm-hmm."
"Remember when I first came down and we hadn't seen each other for over a week?"
"We snuck down to the river that first night." Michaela raised her eyebrows at him as she completed his thought wondering if he was inviting or simply remembering.
"I thought.. that is…"
"Yes, Mister Sully what is it?" Michaela asked teasingly. Sully gave her an odd look. "What?"
"Mister Sully? You used to call me Master Sully."
Michaela laughed. "You aren't a little boy anymore."
"A little boy?" Sully said incredulously. Michaela laughed even harder now, laying back on the deck and holding her stomach. Sully pretended to be angry at her. "I have half a mind to throw you overboard," he growled trying hard to suppress his own laughter. "So I'm all grown up now am I?"
Michaela had finally managed to get herself under control but she still lay on the deck smiling up at Sully. She nodded her head, unable to put into words the attraction she felt for him physically. She had heard her sisters' talk about boys and how handsome they were. How looking at a cute boy could make them feel all nervous inside. Michaela had always thought this was silly and her opinion had not really changed. She still believed that it was what was on the inside that counted but at least now she understood. For as she looked up at Sully her eyes roaming over his body, she blushed with the thoughts that were running through her head. Grateful that Sully couldn't read her mind, she finally found her voice. "I believe you were going to ask me something earlier," she reminded him slyly.
Now it was Sully's turn to blush and stammer over his words. "Thought maybe if ya wanted, we could go down to the river tonight."
These words spoken by Sully in his nervous banter made her stomach do a flip-flop. Again her words failed her so she eagerly nodded up at him.
"Sully," John's voice called out over the rush of the wind. Michaela sat up as Sully turned his face to the back of the boat. John was preparing to bring the boat into the small neck that would take them to Anna's and he needed Sully's help. Quickly Sully rose, leaning close to Michaela as he pushed himself off the deck. "Lookin' forward to tonight," he whispered making Michaela blush even more deeply as she watched him join John near the main sail.
The minute that Sully had secured the spring line, Michaela raced off the boat running to Anna who stood near Ida at the end of the dock. "Anna," she called wrapping her arms around her and hugging the older woman to herself. Pulling back she took her grandmother's hands in her own. "I've missed you so much," she said staring into the eyes that matched her own.
"We've missed you too," Anna replied giving her granddaughter's hands a gentle squeeze before letting go to greet her other visitors.
Michaela moved over to greet Ida in the same fashion. "I do declare you and that boy done growed right up this year," Ida remarked as she hugged Michaela's neck.
Sully heard Ida's comment as he was helping John unload the luggage. "Michaela says I'm not a little boy anymore," he called over to the two of them.
"Ignore him," Michaela said to Ida sticking her tongue out at Sully.
Taking notice of Michaela's gesture, Ida chuckled softly. "I see looks can be deceivin'."
"What do you mean?"
"Just cause y'all look grown don't mean ya gonna act it." Michaela laughed now too and turned to watch as Rebecca introduced Anne and Robert to Anna. Anna was bending down on their level telling them how glad she was they had come for the summer. Michaela smiled at the scene before her. She looked up at Rebecca who seemed to be rather pale.
"Rebecca, are you feeling alright?" she asked.
"A little seasick from the boat ride," Rebecca returned with a weak smile. "I probably just need to rest for a little while."
"I'll go put on some tea to settle your stomach," Ida offered. She turned then to the two children who were still standing awkwardly at their mother's side. "Ya two wanna help. I got some cookies I just done baked up in the kitchen."
Both children stared wide eyed at Ida, having never spent any time so to speak with someone of a different race. Yet like Michaela had been, they were intrigued by her and the word cookie had already worked its own powerful magic.
"Can we mother?" Anne asked pulling anxiously on her mother's skirt.
"Of course," Rebecca agreed smiling down. With that Robert and Anne both took Ida's outstretched hands as they started up to the main house together. "It's so beautiful here Anna," Rebecca said taking in the full range of scenery. "I remembered that it was beautiful but nothing compares to seeing it again. I guess it has been a good twelve years since I was here last."
Anna smiled and nodded. "But I am so glad you decided to come and bring the children. They are going to have the time of their lives this summer," Anna said linking Rebecca's arm through her own.
Rebecca smiled warmly at her grandmother. "I can already tell I will have to drag them back to Boston kicking and screaming." Both women shared a laugh as they set off up the hill. Michaela grabbed two bags from Sully trying to lighten his load and they followed behind along with John and the rest of the luggage.
If it was possible, the night was even more beautiful than the day. A light breeze blew off the river and as the sun went down the air held an early summer chill to it. The moon was full and its beams made the river shine silver as it softly moved along through the night singing its soft melody. The trees were full of starlight which made the forest seem alive as if at any moment the trees might begin to dance uprooting themselves as they waved their branches in the sweet summer air. The grass was still a beautiful shade of green, the shoots tender and soft on bare feet.
Silently they made their way down to the river, padding along on their bare feet. Sully held Michaela's hand in his own as he led the way. Once they reached the river across the front lawn, they turned to the right following it for a way until they were obscured completely from the house. This was their assurance against being seen, though the chance of that happening was highly unlikely. Rebecca had retired to bed earlier, her stomach still queasy from the boat ride. Robert and Anne had exhausted themselves playing hide and seek with Michaela and Sully right before dinner. And Anna wasn't even a concern in their minds.
When they reached their destination, Michaela spread out the blanket she had carried down from the house. Sully helped to get the corners laid out properly and then they both took a seat on it. Michaela instantly stretched out on her back, placing her hands under her head like a pillow. Sully felt odd sitting up and looking down at her so he lowered himself beside her. He lay on his stomach with his head resting on his hands. At first, neither talked but simply listened to the beautiful night music that seemed to rise around them. The river sang as it moved along, joined by voices of crickets and frogs. Every once in awhile the soft hoot of an owl could be heard in the distance.
"It's a beautiful night," Sully remarked, his words sounding too loud in the quiet night.
"Summer solstice," Michaela whispered.
"What?"
"It's the summer solstice. Today is the first day of summer and the longest day of the year. Solstice is from the Latin - it literally means that the sun stands still."
"Does it really stand still?" Sully asked marveling at Michaela's endless supply of knowledge.
"No but each day before the solstice, the sun rises higher and higher in the sky. On the solstice, it rises an imperceptible amount so people always thought that the sun was standing still. On the next day it does not rise as high but the change is noticeable. The solstice also marks the change of the seasons."
"So today is the official first day of summer," Sully added. Michaela nodded and then grew quiet again, turning her face up to the sky watching for shooting stars. When she turned back toward Sully, she noticed that he looked troubled again.
"Sully?" she whispered turning onto her side and propping her head up on her elbow.
"Hmm."
"Are you sure you're okay. You've seemed kind of distant ever since we left Boston."
Sully anxiously bit his bottom lip wondering if he should reveal what had been upsetting him recently. Michaela was the one person he trusted completely but it was still hard for him to admit that he had been having nightmares again even to her. Seeing the conflict playing out on his face, Michaela reached over and gently stroked his cheek. Sully closed his eyes and relaxed as he felt her butterfly light caresses.
"Don't go to sleep," Michaela giggled. "I can't carry you back in."
Sully smiled over at her. "Don't worry, my hands don't make a very good pillow, too lumpy."
"Here lay your head on my stomach," Michaela suggested. At first Sully hesitated but then he turned over and positioned himself perpendicular to Michaela so that his head rested on her stomach and his feet stuck straight out in front of him. Slowly, she stroked his head letting her fingers roam along his scalp in a gentle but firm massage.
"I've been having dreams." Sully's voice was quiet and Michaela had to strain to hear it.
"What kind of dreams?"
Sully exhaled a large breath. "Dreams about my mother," he whispered.
"Good dreams?" Michaela asked as she noticed the way Sully had tensed suddenly.
"No," he replied.
"Do you want to tell me about them?"
Silence met Michaela's question but she waited patiently knowing Sully would share everything if she gave him the time he needed. "They're all different really but one thing is always the same. She is walking ahead of me and no matter what I do I can't catch up to her. I am calling to her but she won't stop for me. I run but she runs faster." Michaela watched as a single tear drop rolled down his face and landed on her shirt.
She stilled her hand against his head for a moment letting him know that she understood that these were painful for him. "Why do you think that you are dreaming about her now?"
"Cause I can't remember her anymore," Sully whispered in reply. "I used to be able to close my eyes and see her face but now I don't remember. Were her eyes green or blue? I can't recall suddenly. And there was this way she laughed when I did something silly. It was the kind of laugh that let you know everything was going to be okay. But I don't remember what it sounded like anymore. And the way she smelled…" Sully drifted off here as the lump in his throat grew. He swallowed hard and turned slightly to look at Michaela.
"Sully you might not remember every detail but you will never forget her. She lives on inside of you. She is a part of you."
"But I feel so bad. I've only been to her grave once and that was when they buried her. I feel like I need to go and see her- just for a minute – to talk to her even if she can't talk back."
"We'll ask father if you can go when we switch trains in New York on our way home," Michaela offered feeling proud of herself for thinking of that option. Josef was coming the last week or so of the summer and then they were going to travel back with him.
Sully smiled broadly at this suggestion. "Do ya think he would mind?"
"Not at all," Michaela assured him as she let her fingers wander down the side of his arm eliciting goose bumps on his flesh.
Sully relaxed against her now as he considered the possibility. Again they grew quiet, as they each stared into the night sky. Michaela's fingers continued to run the length of Sully's arm making circles as they went. Sully marveled in the way that a touch from Michaela seemed to make everything okay. Stilling Michaela's hand with his own, he rolled from his back to his stomach. For a moment, this left his head face down on her stomach and he breathed in deeply the scent that was uniquely her.
Michaela felt sure that he had placed a light kiss there before he had raised himself up and she closed her eyes enjoying that thought for a moment. When she opened them again, expecting Sully to be hovering near waiting to kiss her, she found he had left the blanket. "What are you doing?" she asked when she had sat up and spied him over near the river's edge.
Sully turned smiling at her and holding in his hand two black-eyed susans that he had found growing there. "Pickin' ya some flowers," Sully whispered as he started back over to her. "Madam," he said trying to sound refined as he handed her the flowers.
Michaela giggled and took the flowers with glee but Sully did not sit back down. "Are you going to join me?" she asked patting the ground beside her.
"We really should be heading back," Sully replied looking in the direction of the house.
"But…" Michaela started and then froze suddenly not wanting to continue what she had planned to say.
"What?"
"Nothing."
Sully smiled down at her and extended his hand to help her up. Graciously she took it, rising to find herself even with Sully's chin. He dropped her hand, moving his arm to wrap around her back pulling her even closer to him. "Ya were gonna say I hadn't kissed ya," Sully whispered staring down into her eyes.
Michaela blushed furiously but did not drop her head. Sully laughed lightly as the moonlight illuminated the red of Michaela's cheeks.He swooped down quickly, placing a light kiss on her lips and then another before pulling away. Michaela gasped as he pulled away leaving her with the desire for more but she knew and understood why Sully kept things light and innocent. "You know me too well," she said stepping away from him so that they could pick up the blanket.
"Can ya know someone too well?" Sully asked as he bent down to take the two corners in his hand before folding them and joining his corners with Michaela's.
"I suppose not," Michaela replied as she handed the blanket to Sully and picked up her flowers she had laid in the grass. Then she took his hand and together they walked back to the house to their waiting beds.
July 1, 1848
Rebecca rounded the corner into the kitchen to see Anne and Robert tucking into biscuits smothered with Ida's own strawberry jam. She smiled to herself, grateful that the children could spend the summer here. A wave of nausea passed over her as she watched Anne take a bite and she quickly sprinted to the washroom seeking out a basin.
Michaela went after her, concerned that her sister had been feeling poorly since they had arrived. "Rebecca," she called tapping gently on the door. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Rebecca said. After a moment, she opened the door to her sister. "Just a little nauseous."
"But you've been nauseous ever since we got here. Don't you think we should have the doctor come take a look at you?"
Rebecca shook her head and giggled. "Like father, like daughter," she said patting Michaela on the shoulder.
Michaela did not laugh though for she was truly concerned for her sister. "Rebecca you've been tired and barely able to keep down any food since you arrived. If you won't go into town and see him at least get John to bring him out here."
Anna had heard most of their conversation from the kitchen and she stepped into the hall to check on Rebecca as well. "Why does she need to go to the doctor when we have the best mid-wife in the county right here?" Anna asked.
Michaela looked up at Anna in confusion. "What does Ida have to do with Rebecca being sick?"
"For someone who wants to be a doctor you sure aren't very good at diagnosing the obvious," Anna teased. Michaela still looked confused causing Anna and Rebecca to laugh even more.
"Is someone going to tell me what is going on?" she asked feeling frustrated with the whole situation.
"I'm pregnant," Rebecca revealed, her mouth breaking into a wide grin.
"Pregnant?" Michaela asked as if this was a new word for her. "But… oh… you're pregnant? Do you know for sure?"
"Yes. Ida was kind enough to confirm my suspicions a few days ago."
Michaela let out a little squeal of excitement and quickly hugged her sister. "Are you going to be sick like this the whole time?" Michaela asked making a mental note for her own future.
"It passed with both Anne and Robert but I must say this baby is sure making it hard on his mama."
Ida popped her head into the hallway now. "I made you some tea, Mrs. Rebecca."
"Thanks. Hopefully that will help settle my stomach."
"Did you know you were pregnant when we left Boston," Michaela asked as she trailed behind Anna and Rebecca back to the kitchen.
"No, though I should have known. All the signs were there."
Michaela's curiosity was peaked now and she eagerly began to think of questions to ask. The kitchen was only full of women except for three year old Robert. John and Sully had gone out to check the crab traps early that morning. "What signs?" Michaela asked taking a seat at the table.
"I had missed my monthly," Rebecca began quietly. "But you can't always count on that. I was more tired than usual and nauseous. It wasn't until Ida suggested I might be pregnant that I even thought about it."
Anna laughed. "For women whose father is a doctor, you think you would be a little more in touch with your own bodies."
Rebecca smiled but then looked at Michaela sensing there was more to this statement then met the eye. "Don't ask," Michaela groaned casting a disapproving look at her grandmother.
Shaking her head, Rebecca took a sip of the tea that Ida had prepared for her and then a small bite of a plain biscuit. "I need to ride into town and telegram Robert to let him know," she said.
"You aren't going home?" Michaela asked suddenly afraid they had just lost their summer chaperone.
"I don't plan on it," Rebecca returned. "Course once Mother gets wind that I'm expecting, she might have different plans." The sisters shared a knowing glance before all four women seated around the table laughed.
"Is grandma coming?" Anne asked trying to understand what was so funny.
"No, sweetheart," Rebecca assured her. She turned now to face her little girl and boy, smiling broadly at them. "I am going to have a baby," she informed then.
Anne giggled with glee looking at Michaela. "Aunt Michaela, we are going to get a baby," she repeated.
"I know."
"Where is the baby now?" the little girl quickly asked looking around the kitchen.
"It's growing in my belly just like you and Robert did."
Robert looked up at his name. "I in your belly," he giggled.
"Well not right now but you were at one time." Rebecca leaned over and tousled his hair. "You're not going to be the baby anymore Robert."
"I not baby. I am a big boy!" he declared casting a furrowed brow at his mother.
"Yes, you are a big boy," Rebecca cajoled as each of the women broke into laughter.
Colorado Springs, December 1866
"Michaela," Sully whispered as he leaned down and placed a kiss to her forehead. Her body stirred under the blankets and he smiled to himself, feeling aroused at just the thought of what he wanted to do right now. They had only been married for a little over three months and the newness of being with each other was still overwhelming. Sully had a suspicion that the awe he felt each time they made love would never fade and he hoped he was right. Quickly putting those thoughts out of his mind, he remembered why he was up here. "Michaela, you have to get up. It's late."
Those were the magic words and quickly Michaela rolled over in the bed. "Late? What time is it?" she asked stretching her arms above her head.
"Don't worry, it isn't even eight yet but I know ya like to be early."
Michaela smiled at Sully and nodded. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm just so tired. I feel like I could sleep and sleep."
"Maybe that husband of yours is keeping ya up at night," he replied cheekily giving her a seductive smile.
Michaela blushed at his comment. "Maybe," she replied but then added, "I actually took a nap yesterday afternoon when I had a lull in between patients."
Sully acted surprised at this admission. "Sleepin'? In the middle of the day? Have ya replaced my wife with someone else?"
Michaela giggled as she sat up and leaned in to kiss him. "Nope. It's still me. You're stuck with me I'm afraid."
"Ain't nobody I'd rather be stuck with," Sully added as he placed a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth. After a few more gentle kisses things began to heat up. Sully slid down beside Michaela in the bed pulling the blanket over his body so that he could lie down next to her.
"Sully, you are going to make me late," she giggled feeling his hand creep down her leg seeking the bottom of her nightgown.
Sully acted as if he hadn't heard her as he began placing kisses to her neck. He found the edge of the fabric and he slid his hand underneath. Slowly he ran his hand up her leg, making Michaela gasp in pleasure at the sensations he was eliciting in her. His hand cupped her buttock and gently he rolled her towards him, seeking her lips with his own. The kiss was incredible but suddenly Michaela felt as if she couldn't breathe. She pushed Sully away hastily as the room began to spin for her.
"Michaela?" Sully's voice was full of concern. He wasn't sure if he had hurt her or if something else was the matter.
Michaela felt her stomach lurch. "I'm going to be sick," she exclaimed quickly dashing from their bed over to the wash basin where she emptied her stomach of the remnants of last night's dinner.
Sully rose from the bed and came to stand beside her, placing one hand on her back. This was happening more and more frequently recently and he had noticed a decrease in Michaela's appetite. "Ya okay?" he asked as Michaela straightened up again wiping her mouth.
"I'm sorry," Michaela apologized, feeling bad for pushing him away like she did. "I don't know what's wrong with me."
Sully smiled at her knowingly. "Ya sure about that?" he asked. Michaela gave him a confused look. "For a doctor ya sure aren't good at self-diagnosing."
"What do you mean?" she replied warily, resenting his last statement.
"You're tired, you're sick to your stomach," he started to list her symptoms. Michaela shrugged her shoulders and walked away from him to her dresser and started to pull out a fresh camisole.
Sully came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "And I don't recall us being interrupted by your monthly in a while," he whispered against her ear.
"You think I'm pregnant?" Michaela asked incredulously turning around to face him. "That's unlikely. We have only been married a little over three months," she laughed. "Besides don't you think I'd know if I was…" Michaela trailed off as she acknowledged the possibility that Sully was right. "Do you think I might be?" she asked forgetting completely she was the one with medical training.
Sully nodded giving her a teasing smile. "Don't you?"
Michaela blushed. "I guess… I mean… I just never expected it to happen so quickly." She dropped her hands to her stomach as she let herself consider the possibility. She felt Sully's hand cover her own as he wrapped his arms around her pressing himself close against her back. He nuzzled her neck lightly feeling overjoyed at the prospect of a baby.
"A baby," Michaela whispered leaning back into him. Just then another wave of nausea hit her and she pushed Sully away once more to run for the basin.
This is my first fan fiction. Please review and let me know what you think. Thanks for reading! I will post an updated timeline of the future scenes sometime today… if you are interested check out www. elizaslife . com / 1849.htm
