Disclaimer: Not mine. Go, Jo.

AN: For all of you, and a couple of people who don't know what they mean to me.

Chapter Fifty-One

"Perdita"

Or

"Farewell"


"Eyes, look your last." — William Shakespeare


(A Bit of Background Understanding)

They'd never forget the screaming; the shattering of glass, the blaring sirens. Perhaps the sirens weren't there, but with all the surrounding din, they could have been. The first thing the Professors had done was lower the Apparition charms set over the school; funnily enough, they'd had time to. Dinner had just adjourned, so most students were on their way back to the dormitories. The entire establishment gave a great lurch, which almost caused some of the younger kids to stumble from their staircases, but also alerted their older peers to the fact that perhaps something was going on.

In the next ten minutes, a lot of confusing events would occur. First, all the castle's residents would be ushered to their common rooms, where a house elf was waiting. Sprout had sent the elves to arrive by their bizarre means of transportation and give instruction to the fifth-, sixth- and seventh-years about what was required of them. The teachers were busier with other tasks.

At the word of the house elf, the fireplace in each common room was set up for the Floo Network; one of the Prefects for the house was sent through first, to the platform at Hogsmeade Station, where the Hogwarts Express was currently being sent from London. The first- through fourth-years followed, and then another Prefect. The responsibility of keeping their underclassmen calm and orderly fell to the eight of them: Kevin Corner, Penelope Paulsen, Jenna Fawcett, Troy Santiago, Hugo Weasley, Rose Weasley, Ella Parkinson, and Gilligan Bulstrode. They would get to rely very closely on each other in the following hours.


(Back in the Castle)

Back in the castle, the remaining Prefects were called to the Entrance Hall, where their professors had managed to detain the vast number of Acromantula up until that point. By the time Albus, Lucy, and the two other two Gryffindor prefects arrived, their Slytherin and Hufflepuff counterparts were already fast at work. Some were calling the statues and suits of armor to service, some were helping the professors with defensive spells. One fifth-year prefect had fainted and was now being hurriedly resuscitated by a very exasperated-looking Scorpius Malfoy.

'Where's Andy?!' Albus demanded of the Head Boy.

Scorpius did not turn to look at him, nor did he help the fifth-year to her feet; he raised his wand in the direction of the doors, which were splintered and almost fully destroyed by the weight of the spiders. From what Albus could see of the Great Hall, the windows at the back were flickering with shadowed black forms: the spiders were climbing.

'Where's Andy?!' he pressed once more.

'Where do you think?!' Scorpius replied shortly, not tearing his eyes from the action of the doorway. Professors hurried past, down to the dungeons and into the Great Hall. None took very much notice of the boys. 'She's with Patricia—something about not wanting to just leave the house elves!'

'There are spiders everywhere —and-and she's thinking of the house elves?'

'Yeah. Real bloody humanitarian. Give the girl an award. Look, are you gonna help here, or—?'

The doors could take no more and were blasted from their hinges; the force of the onslaught threw the two boys back, hurtling through the air with pieces of wood and stone and all of their professors. Landing on their backs, Scorpius and Albus scrambled up, eyes widening at the sight before them. Hundreds of Acromantula crawling up the walls, all with eight beady eyes fixed upon the humans below.

Half the professors Disapparated to various locations around the room, and Professor Bell grabbed Lucy out of the way of the spiders before following his peers' example. There was the great, jarring echo of glass smashing above and screams began to echo around the halls. Albus and Scorpius looked at each other.


(The Potter Residence)

'Mum! Dad!' As soon as he appeared in the front garden, James was screaming. 'Mum!'

The door flung itself open before him as he entered, casting quick looks around the living room and into the kitchen, but finding no one. Heavy, hurried footsteps echoed from the staircase, and James leapt across the room; he was three stairs up before he stopped, inches from his mother's face. His father stood behind, at the top of the stairs.

'Have you—have you heard?! About what's happening at school?!'

Ginny nodded, and Harry asked, 'Have you heard from Al? Lily?'

James shook his head. 'I just—bloody—Fred showed up in the fireplace, told me Rose had sent a Floo message to her parents, telling them—'

'—same as us, then—' Ginny interjected.

'I've got to go,' James urged.

'We'd never have stopped you,' said Harry quickly, bolting down the stairs and ushering his wife and son to do the same. 'James—go; Mum and I have to settle something first.'

'Settle what?!'

'Well, one of us has got to tell Teddy and Victoire, if they don't already know—'

'—and I'm going to go and make sure George doesn't do something stupid,' said Ginny, buttoning up her jacket. She took a few steps forward and gave James a fleeting kiss on the forehead. 'Be careful.'

With that, she Disapparated. James threw his arms around his father. 'Remind Teddy of his kid—yeah?'

There was something in Harry's face then; a shadow, a memory. Déjà vu? Had something like this happened before? James's father replied, 'Yeah. That's the first thing I'm going to do.'


(Gryffindor Tower)

'What are the rest of us meant to do?!' Lily Potter pressed.

She'd never been one for sitting around and waiting. She'd also never been in a very life-threatening situation, but surely there was more to be done than stay, holed up in the common room, until help did or didn't come. Louis had been pacing for fifteen minutes, which was understandable. Rose had gone to help those on the platform, and in doing so, had left Gryffindor tower with significantly less magical knowledge.

But nobody else was doing anything. The seventh-years, they weren't leading! Nobody had tried to devise a plan of attack, a plan of defence—a plan of any description. War could be waging outside; her brother could be out there dying! And nobody was doing anything. Lucy had gone with the prefects, so no one would back her up, but there had to be more to this. There had to be—they'd been told to stay behind for a reason, hadn't they?

'We're meant to stay here, guard the tower,' said Alana Harris.

Lily narrowed her eyes and looked at her roommate as if wondering if she was mentally impaired. '"Guard the tower"?' she repeated slowly. 'Guard the tower from what, exactly? For what? There's nothing up here but dormitories and about nineteen cats. What is worth protecting here?' She looked around at everyone else, the general majority of whom were eavesdropping rather shamelessly. 'If we're not getting out there and fighting, it won't matter what happens to Gryffindor tower. By the time those spiders arrive, it'll be too late. Do you really want to leave the professors, the prefects, down there? Fighting for us while we do nothing? While we "guard the tower"?'

She turned to Roxanne. 'Rox, come on—there's got to be something we can do.'

Her cousin nodded. 'Lily's right. We're Gryffindors, aren't we? What's brave, what's chivalrous, about staying up here while people could be dying? They're going to need all the help they can get.' A few people stood in agreement (Louis among them), but some just stared. 'Right,' said Roxanne. 'I won't force you, but if the slim margin of decent people in this room get themselves killed, don't try and romanticize our relationships. I think you're all arseholes.'


(Thirty Minutes Later)

The Ministry officials had arrived, as they would have been expected to in any situation remotely similar to the one Hogwarts was in. They stationed themselves—conveniently—in the common rooms, preventing the students from advancing into the war-zone as it was "a safety hazard". The one in the Hufflepuff common room was a right prick; he had dark hair, brown eyes, and an incredibly lazy demeanor. Unfortunately, it was not the kind of lazy that lent itself to allowing students past the common room borders; in fact, it was the kind of lazy that held steadfast to the belief that, if they ventured past those doors, they would die.

Sennen was sitting two chairs away from this chap, trying to maintain conversation with anyone who passed by. The Hufflepuff common room was the worst place to be at a time like this, because they were far enough from the school to have absolutely no idea what was going on. What put the icing on the cake was that this dolt of a Ministry official seemed to think he was entitled to lean over every so often and try to chat her up. She'd almost punched him three times in the ten minutes he'd been there.

'Why can't I go and help?' she demanded, standing up and storming over to him. 'I may not be a prefect, but I'm a seventh-year; I'm ready for my N.E.W.T. exams—I demand you let me leave this common room. My friends—my teachers—could be in any kind of peril out there; they could be screaming for back-up—and I don't bloody know, because you've seen fit to lock all of us up in here.'

The Ministry official raised one condescending eyebrow at this, which made Sennen very near slap him. 'I'm afraid I can't let you do that, love.'

'Why not?!' she snapped. 'Because you don't care that it's only a matter of time before those spiders get here, too?! And don't "love" me—not when you're being damn difficult!'

'I can't let you out there,' he said stubbornly as Misty Mumps joined Sennen. 'That counts for you, too.'

Sennen looked at Misty, then back at the Ministry official. She sighed. 'Well, if I'm ever going to be arrested, I may as well go out in style.' Then her hand curled into a fist and she committed an extreme act of anarchy: she slugged him. (It was a good punch; he was knocked unconscious.) The girls hopped over his crumpled body, told the younger students not to follow them, and then dashed out of the common room.


(The Sixth Floor)

Albus grabbed Andy so hard his hands left visible marks. Her face was scratched and his lip was bleeding and they probably should have been running, but in the isolated corridor, where the shouts of spells and beast hisses seemed like the echoes of imagination, neither moved.

'Oh thank God you're all right,' Albus breathed, pressing his forehead against hers, as if cherishing the fact that she was tangible, and she'd been found, even for the briefest of moments.

'Almost wasn't,' Andy told him. 'There are so many of them—they're everywhere; and so little of us. I don't know how we're still alive, to be honest.'

'But we are,' he said, his hands moving to each side of her face; they lingered there as he spoke to her, green eyes boring into brown, 'and we're going to stay this way. All right? All right?'

Breathing heavily, she nodded. He pulled her close and kissed her, first briefly but then growing in gusto; what terrified them both was the high possibility that it could very well be the last time. There was a screech from behind them as two sixth-year Ravenclaws sprinted past, shouting, 'it's coming! It's coming!' and then, in the next second, an acromantula emerged.

It approached with frightening speed, all hair and limbs and pincers. Andy pulled at her boyfriend's arm. 'Al! Come on! We have to run!' But he did not budge.

'We get rid of it now, there's one less to worry about!'

She continued to pull him. 'But if you get yourself killed, what happens later won't matter!'

Before Albus could respond, the spider lunged. 'Immobulus!' shouted the Gryffindor. Fortunately, either by skill or by luck, the spell caught its target. He raised his arm higher, and the acromantula corresponded; with a quick, heavy-breathed glance towards Andy, he opened his mouth again. 'Reducto!'

The entire beast burst into pieces, most of it completely powdered and harmless. A jet of venom shot through the air and both seventh-years dodged it, before Andy grabbed Albus, kissed him, and then continued running. They ducked a hex and launched themselves forward, out of the way of a massive web set forth by one of the spiders on the other side of the corridor. It was far enough away to be of little danger to them, and three Ministry wizards were currently combating what parts of it they could, without completely ignoring the other advancing beasts.

'I love you,' said Albus, sounding very out-of-breath from their continued sprint.

Andy, who had never done anything remotely athletic if it did not involve short distance jumping over kitchen tables to get to cakes before her relatives, had begun to lag behind. 'Oh—oh, god—are we really going to do this now?'

'We could be dead in ten minutes,' he reasoned.

'I thought you were the optimist!'

'I'm a realist!'

'You're an—' She screamed, and so did Albus, because the floor below them had just given way. Tumbling through the air was a new sensation, and when they both landed—without much to cushion the fall—the dust blooming from the rubble was all that could be seen. There were massive chunks of stone surrounding the couple, and Albus stumbled over something that felt very hairy.

He shouted a vague mixture of jinxes and swear words, but no death came. Instead, there was a chuckle.

'Al?'

The Gryffindor tensed. 'James?'

He heard the brief mutter of an incantation, and the dust cloud cleared; Andy was lying a little way behind him, slowly beginning to get up, and in front of Albus, stood his brother. This was slightly overshadowed by the fact that there was the remnants of an exceedingly long-limbed acromantula two feet away from him, covered in stone and rubble.

'It's dead,' said James, crossing his arms. 'I saw to that.' He leaned over, looking around Albus. 'Is that Andy?' he asked his brother quickly, to which he received a nod. The address was then made to the Hufflepuff, who was dusting herself off. 'Sorry to bring you along for the ride, sweetheart. Just trying to kill a spider.'

Albus rolled his eyes, and so did Andy. 'Couldn't you have done it by some other method? Like, you know, not breaking the castle and almost killing your brother—and myself, I might add?'

James shrugged. 'But where's the fun in that? And in case you haven't noticed, my dear, the castle's already broken. See for yourself.'


(What's Left of the Lupins)

'I'm going—I have to!'

'No,' said Victoire, pulling her husband to a halt in the middle of the living room. Her hand remained clutched on his arm as her eyes blazed, glaring at him with everything she could muster. 'You're staying here.'

'Why, so other people can die, so more kids are left parentless?'

'So yours isn't,' she said. She bit her lip. 'Teddy, you know what growing up without your parents was like...'

'What—so you don't want to help?'

Victoire gasped. 'Of course I want to help! I just know you wouldn't let me—'

'—you've got our baby to live for—our unborn—'

She stared at him, her gaze beseeching. Slowly, she began to vociferate. 'You won't let me go because of our baby. Because you don't want to lose it, and you don't want to lose me. Right?'

Teddy sighed, giving up on Disapparation at the present. 'Right.'

'So what makes you think it'd be any easier for me to lose you, Teddy?'

His façade broke down. With a heavy breath, he murmured, 'fine. I won't go.'


(The Head Boy)

The wall was approaching at a very uncontrollable pace. Scorpius Malfoy was, without a doubt, going to crash into it. This was exactly what he'd predicted. (Not the impalement against a Hogwarts tapestry, but the attack on the school.) That's why he'd asked Rose to take extra watches; she'd know if something happened. He hadn't wanted to worry anyone else. Except that seemed completely and utterly pointless now. The entire place had gone to the dogs; chaos reigned, and the Head Boy was about to flatten himself against a picture of prancing animals. (When he said things had gone to the dogs, Scorpius was speaking—unfortunately —rather literally.)

He'd just taken down a pair of spiders, which was always for the better; except in this particular case, it wasn't, because he'd just lost Patricia and Cordelia, and he couldn't quite remember which ones of the tapestries were actually trapdoors, and even though he'd always been a pretty decent runner, the forces of inertia were probably leading him to loss of his teeth.

'Oh my god—Scorpius, I'm so —if only I could—oh, god—stop!'

This exclamation sounded very much like one, high-pitched squeal, but when somebody tackled him from the side and they both went flying, Scorpius thought it could have been gibberish for all he cared. He never collided with the wall, though he did hit the floor quite hard, and whoever it was who had jumped him was bloody lucky they'd landed directly atop the seventh-year, because he was probably a better mat than the actual floor.

He coughed and spluttered, in something of a united rhythm with his companion, and only when he pulled himself up into a sitting position did he realize exactly why he had been mowed down so aggressively. A spider was lowering itself from the ceiling two floors up; whoever it was beside him was breathing very heavily, but Scorpius wasn't sure he wanted to look away from the acromantula to check who he'd unwillingly chosen as a partner in death.


("Love" is finally given)

James was about to part ways with Neville Longbottom, alongside whom he had just taken down another pair of spiders, when he came to a realization that caused him to stop.

'Er... Neville?' he called hesitantly.

The older man turned. 'Yes, James?'

'Mum and Dad send their love.'

'What?'

James half-smiled. 'Well, the thing is, on Platform Nine and Three Quarters, as I was leaving for my second year, my mum told me to give you her—and dad's—love.' He watched a smile begin to spread across Neville's face, and he added, 'of course, I was just like "what in the world? Mum, I can't give him love!" because you were my Herbology teacher at school and all, and that would've been totally uncomfortable in front of everyone—especially Jess Thomas, because I fancied her a bit at the time—so I never told you. And I... I honestly don't know why it occurred to me now of all times, but... you know... I just thought I should've told you. That Mum and Dad send their love.'

Neville went a bit pink. 'Well, er... thanks for that.'

Realizing how stupid of a thing it had been to say, James shrugged. 'Don't mention it.'


(Lily Luna)

If only she could get to the trapdoor. He'd been so close to it, but also to the acromantula. It would have cast itself off the web were she a second late. They could make it to the trapdoor—it was just beyond the tapestry. She barely had the strength to get up; she'd been sprinting for such a long time. Her eyes averted from the spider to the Head Boy, but he wasn't looking at her. This sobered Lily up enough to say what had to be said.

'We have to get to that tapestry,' she told him, too quiet at first.

He did not respond, and so she pulled herself to her feet. He seemed anchored to one spot. 'Scorpius, we have to get to that tapestry. Now. It's a trapdoor, not big enough for that thing to follow us.' Standing now, she nudged him with her arm. 'Scorpius, please, I don't want to leave you here.'

For someone who had been so motionless, Scorpius's next move was quick. He grabbed her hand and used it to stand, all in a flurry of movement. The spider was getting closer; it could have leapt and reached them now.

'Tapestry?'

'Yeah.'

'Right then,' said Scorpius, with something like robust determination. His grip on Lily's hand tightened and they made one mad dash of that fifteen feet between themselves and salvation. 'You shouldn't be here!' he told her.

'Should anyone?' she matched, pulled along by his longer stride.

With that, they reached it, and he pushed her inside first. 'No, I don't suppose so.'


(One Last Chime)

The Entrance Hall was a flurry of fifth-years, from all houses and situations. Most of the professors had abandoned it to help with the breached upper floors, but Professor Bell remained. There were various spiders all around the room, and he was busy enough with the ones he had to deal with, not even beginning to factor in his students'. Every time one advanced, he was occupied with another, and this vicious cycle was starting to wear him down.

'Expulso!' Adrian cried.

'Does that spell work on living objects?' came a voice from behind him.

The spider smashed into pieces, taking a large amount of the wall with it. 'Apparently so!'

'Reducto!' cried Cordelia (for that was who had spoken).

Another acromantula was blown to dust, but none of its company were very happy; the other two on the opposite side of the Entrance Hall cried out. Adrian and Cordelia looked at each other, and then turned, just as the fifth-years screamed. The spider had lowered itself down onto the ground from its former place against the wall. It stood in front of them, ready to scuttle forward and strike. Adrian's eyes flickered from Cordelia to the scene unfolding before him, and picked the latter.

He charged across the room to the group of fifth-years and pushed them out of the way as the spider lunged; he seemed to realize what would happen a second before it did, but made no move to stop it... and the other occupants of the Entrance Hall watched, from various angles, perspectives, viewpoints, as the beast sunk its pincers into Adrian Bell.


(Down at Hogsmeade Station)

There was the familiar popping sound of Apparition and, a split-second apart, Fred Weasley and Barbara Tennant appeared. He looked worried and she looked pale, mostly because she had heard the problem at Hogwarts involved things of the acromantula breed and she'd never been any good with spiders; but right now, in the groups of children thronging the platform, they exuded determination.

There had been a bit of a spat prior to leaving the house: that if Fred went up to the school, he probably wouldn't be safe, but if neither of them went, there was no guarantee that their relatives would be. Barbara had resolved to do her part by helping the evacuees, though the degree of what there was to be done varied along the platform.

After walking about seventeen feet and spying Rose and Hugo, Barbara and Fred turned to one-another. Both breathed deeply. She straightened out a fold in his jacket, and allowed her hand to linger there. His found her waist. They kissed briefly, then just held each other.

'I love you,' said Fred.

'I love you, too,' said Barbara.

They pulled away from one another, still standing close with one of their hands clasped.

'Make sure you stay safe, all right?'

Fred nodded, grinning in hopes that his fiancée would. 'Make sure this lot get on the train once it arrives. I promise I'll come and find you as soon as this is over. I love you.'

'Love you.'

With another kiss, he departed.


(Back to the Chiming)

'Reducto!' Cordelia shouted, falling victim to shock and rage simultaneously. The spider exploded and she moved to take on the other, taking a step forward as she did so. 'Reducto! Expulso! Reducto!'

She was covered in dust and the remnants of beasts, but none of that mattered. The fifth-years had screamed, and she hadn't blamed them. They ran now, away from their professor who was heaving on the ground, to where the foot of the stairs should have been. Cordelia moved instead to Adrian's side, at which she fell—quite dramatically, but perhaps that was all she could have done—to her knees. He lay down flat on the ground, and for now, he was still breathing. The venom was taking effect.

'Professor? Professor Bell?'

His eyes flickered to her, but no audible response was given.

'Professor? Adrian?'

His lips moved at this; the ghost of a smile. Cordelia turned to the fifth-years, who were now cowering together against the cracked stairwell. She stared at them. 'Aren't you going to do something? Find someone—Madam Pomfrey—someone! They've got to help! Help him!' Without checking to see if they had done so, she reverted her attention to Adrian, who did nothing but extend one of his hands closer to hers.

She took it, and his grip was surprisingly strong.

'They can't help me,' he whispered. 'Not even Poppy.'

Cordelia's voice broke. 'Don't... don't say that.'

Adrian looked up at her. His breathing had slowed; it was nearly gone.

Succumbing to tears: 'Adrian...'

The ghostly smile reappeared, but it just seemed unfair to Cordelia now. 'Please.'

He gave one great, wavering exhalation. 'You're a sweet girl, Cordelia.'

And then Adrian Bell moved no more.


(Seasoned Kisses and Desperation)

Scorpius left Lily at the other end of the tapestry, with the reassurance that she would be safe, because her cousins were on their way, around, somewhere nearby. This sounded lame, but his mind was occupied with other things, like the location of his best friends, and Patricia. He found them on the third floor, and noticed a tall messy-haired young man sprinting in the opposite direction, out of sight. Before addressing this, he wrapped his arms around his girlfriend, holding her tight, breathing her in. There was something delicate in the simple act of cherishing the fact they were both alive, even if it was just for now. The two kissed, close-together and passionate, yet not distasteful.

Scorpius pulled away and addressed the rest of the quartet. 'Thank the universe for you three.'

Andy and Albus, who had their hands entwined, discontinued this. Andy embraced Scorpius first, and, in the impulse of the moment, Scorpius kissed her on the forehead—the easiest place to reach. Everyone was pleased to be safe, even this early in what would seem a perpetual battle. Albus pulled Scorpius over to him quickly; their arms clasped each other tightly, like there would never be another chance. Then, either surprisingly or predictably, Scorpius reached out and kissed him.

'I don't know what I'd do if we hadn't found you,' said Albus, ignoring the looks from Andy and Patricia, as well as the ones being transferred between the pair of girls. (Though, to be honest, he was also quite stunned at what had just happened.)

Scorpius knew Albus meant his statement in terms of their current situation, but chose to respond with: 'You'd be a lot more bored, just generally.'

The four laughed, though it seemed strange time allowed them to do so.

'Please don't die,' said Albus quite seriously, 'you know, over the course of the next few hours.'

Scorpius, his hand set on his best friend's shoulder, tried for a smile. 'I'll do my best.'

'That's all we can hope for in the end, I guess.'

'You know it.'


(Disbelief)

Scorpius and Patricia sprinted down the corridor, in the opposite direction to Andy and Albus, who had gone to find Cordelia (presuming there was a Cordelia Gilbert left to be found).

'You just kissed Al!' she exclaimed.

'Yes, I know,' he replied. 'I'm not about to leave you for him—it lasted half a second and it's because we're probably all going to die, anyway—it's the middle of a war, love; I'd kiss anyone!'


(A Cover of Fog)

There was silence in the Charms corridor. It was eerie. The Acromantula had all gone off to different areas of the school, leaving Sennen Cartwright weeping over the cold, discoloured corpse of Misty Mumps. She had been too late. Always too late. It had been her fault Misty left the common room at all—why had she been so stupid? Why had she punched that bloke? All of this was her fault—and that didn't even matter, because Misty was dead.

'She's dead, you stupid girl!' Sennen told herself, through snot and tears and loss of social decorum. 'Why are you sitting here thinking of yourself?!'

Running footsteps came to a stop behind her, but she couldn't see the people to whom they belonged. All she could do was stare, hopeless—helpless, at the body of a girl who had once been her friend. Arms wrapped around her, and Sennen knew they were Andy's. She could hear her soothing voice telling her that everything was okay, but when she turned she saw that Andy had tears streaking down her face, too.

The other pair of feet had belonged to Albus, but he was not crying. He hadn't really known Misty Mumps. All he saw when he looked down was a broken, bloody teenage girl. But that sight seemed terrifying enough on its own, Sennen supposed. Then again—it wasn't like he'd spent years of his life in the same dormitory as that broken, bloody teenage girl. She'd had seven. Almost seven. Sennen continued to sniffle and sob.

She watched Albus crouch down, wrap an arm around Andy, and place a kiss on her cheek. 'I have to go and find Cordelia,' he said, as if this casualty had awoken that need. It was, of course, (unbeknownst to Sennen) the reason they had come this way at all.


(Hogsmeade Station, Once Again)

The Hogwarts Express could not come quick enough. Merlin knew what was going on up at the school. Molly had arrived shortly after Barbara, and the two of them were assisting the prefects in maintaining some level of organization. The children all stayed, to a certain extent, in their own groups, with their own houses and whatnot, but with the tension and terror thick in the air, all of them seemed abuzz.

Rose and Hugo sat with Molly now; she had one arm around Rose and one around Hugo, and she kissed the latter's forehead as Barbara watched. A bit further down the platform, near the building with the Floo connection to Hogwarts, somebody gave a shout. It was a fourth-year Ravenclaw, running and throwing their arms around one of a group of older students who had just appeared. They seemed to be fifth-years, slightly jarred and very pleased to be out.

Barbara ran to them. 'What's going on?! Who else is being evacuated?'

One of them, a plain-faced blonde girl, said, 'I—I don't know. There was a man from the Ministry in Ravenclaw tower; he said they're sending everyone still in their common rooms down here. Is—is it true? There are Acromantula everywhere? People are dead? We've heard so little!'

Barbara shook her head. 'I'm sorry, I don't know. Please, find somewhere to sit down; try to relax. You can go to sleep if you like.' The Ravenclaws began to walk off, but she called after them. 'How many others were in your common room?'

'I'm not sure. About eight more? I don't know about the other houses, though. There could be a lot.'

In the next fifteen minutes, twenty-four students arrived. Some ran immediately to other students; some asked politely if she knew anything they didn't. One boy just burst into tears in front of her, sobbing about the fact that he couldn't find his best friend. Rose approached Barbara to help with the on-come of things to deal with, and said, 'I bet they're all right. Fred and stuff.'

'How'd you know that was what I was thinking about?' asked Barbara quietly.

Rose half-smiled. 'Because that's all I've had on my mind since I got down here.' She put an arm around Barbara, who was actually shorter by a matter of inches. 'They should be fine, right? There's Ministry personnel, and professors.'

'Have you heard anything?' came Kevin Corner's voice from a few feet away. He approached with an apprehensive expression, earnest to hear what outcome Barbara had to give. 'Anything we haven't? You know—about the rest of the prefects or anything?'

Rose and Barbara exchanged glances. 'No,' said the latter. 'I'm sorry; if you can't see them around here, everyone's still up at the castle.'

He nodded. 'Okay. Thanks.'

Another look was exchanged as he turned and left, his place filled by a Hufflepuff who looked very shaken. The way Rose interacted with her told Barbara that this girl was probably in seventh year. She asked the same question as Kevin had, but then left rather hurriedly, as her sister (a fifth-year) was down the way.

The sister was crying; telling a story very loudly, allowing the seventh-year to hug her. Barbara approached, because it looked very serious. The girl was whimpering words of death, and she wanted to be sure that these fatalities were not to her family. (Because that's what the Weasleys were, really: Barbara's family.)

'I'm sorry, honey, but what did you say?' she asked very delicately. 'Who's... who's dead?'

The fifth-year dissolved to tears. 'Prof... Professor Bell! A—and Misty.' She sobbed. 'They brought her back to the common room; she—the spiders killed her.'

'We must tell Charlie!' said the other girl, who then turned to Barbara. 'Ch—Charlie's her little brother. He's only in second year...' She shook her head. 'He'll be so upset.'

Barbara bit her lip. A second-year? Without a sister? She didn't know Charlie Mumps; she didn't know Misty. Adrian Bell, though—she had played Quidditch with him, in third year! He couldn't be dead—he couldn't! She knew him! He was only twenty-four; just turned it, too—she refused to think about it. It would hurt too much.

People seemed to have become aware of the casualties up at Hogwarts. There were whispers going around; it had got way, way louder. The youngest students were looking at one another, stunned. She could see the words traced on their lips; declarations of death, of loss, and of confusion.

Groups of them ran to the prefects, bombarding them for more information, even though there was none to give. There were rushes of little boys trying to find siblings, murmurs of the mortality being pronounced up at the school they had all been evacuated from. Everything passed in a blur: a blur of sweat, tears, and hysteria.

But none of that hurt Barbara nearly as much as it did to watch the change of expression on Kevin Corner's face as Mitchell Gilbert whirled around to him and shouted 'where's my sister?!'.


("I Thought You Didn't Love Her")

James's lip was bleeding. His scalp felt warm and sticky but there was little time to stop and quell what he felt very sure was blood. He was running faster than he ever had in his life, and that definitely meant something, because James was an expert at running from a lot of things. Having Fred beside him helped; they'd caught up in the Room of Requirement of all places—but facing terror on one's own was practically equivalent to facing it with a cousin.

'We should turn and fight!' said James. 'Shouldn't we? That's the honourable thing to do—'

'—what's "honourable" about running to our deaths?!' Fred snapped, rounding a corner and grabbing James so that he followed. The acromantula in pursuit of them scuttled off elsewhere. 'I've got a fiancée, and you... you've got...'

'I've got Quidditch,' muttered James rather pathetically. 'I get it. I'd have nothing to live for.'

Fred smacked him. 'What the hell? Where'd you get that from?'

His cousin glared. 'Don't try to tell me it isn't true. Look, I've accepted it—can we just get these bloody spiders eradicated or otherwise sent into oblivion prior to any more deaths?' His tone bitter, James began to turn away, taking steps in the other direction. 'Because that's more important than all this mindless relationship shit right now. People are in danger, Fred. We're in danger. Our families, the people we—'

'I thought you didn't love her.'

James's pacing stopped. Momentarily, he bowed his head; then he turned to Fred. 'What?'

'You said you were over Cordelia. You're not.'

'Are we really doing this now?'

'Well,' Fred reasoned, 'like you said, we could die any minute. And yes, we are, because I told you to get over her and you told me you did, and I just kind of want to make sure that's still what you're saying.'

James rolled his eyes. 'Yes. Of course I am! Yes! Okay?!'

'Good,' said Fred, giving up far too easily. 'Because I need to know you didn't just do it because of that Corner bloke; she was going to move on, James—you did!'

James snapped. 'Why does it matter?!' he shouted. 'Why does any of this matter? We love who we love, don't we? Most of the time, they sure as hell don't love us back, and that's kind of why it's called a crush, because that's what it does to you but I don't see why it has to be the pinnacle of everything we do when there are men and women and children who're dying and so many other problems in the world and I just... I'm so sick of it all! We're on a mission here—spiders are running rampant, people have died—Fred, there's more to be done, don't you see?!'

Fred raised his voice, grabbing James as the corridor gave a great shake. 'Yes! Yes, I do see! I understand that there's more to be done than investing in others, and that romanticism shouldn't be catalyst for the way we live our lives, but it's still important, James. We can't punish ourselves forever.'

'It's not... punishing,' James insisted. 'It's prioritizing.'


(Another Side-Effect of Shaking Ground)

Cordelia had always worried about death. Now, in the moment, when she had come so close, everything seemed panicky. The moment of clarity that all the books said would overtake her had not. All she could think of was getting out, getting free.

She could barely see Albus, for their light was so limited. They had reunited roughly ten minutes prior to the ground-shaking event that knocked the corridor above from its set placement. Now, several layers of rubble and rock separated them from circulating air. There was barely space to move, let alone cast a spell to shift some of the stone covering the two of them.

When the quake had occurred, Cordelia had turned her eyes up and watched their ceiling collapse upon them. Albus, thankfully a lot more quick-witted and agile, had pulled her out of the way, down into enough of a crouching position before either were crushed. Somehow, they had been left with a pocket of air and moving space; but oxygen only lasted so long.

'We can't try to blast away any rock,' Cordelia said.

'No, it'd just come down and crush us.'

'Can't call for help—don't know what'd hear.'

Albus gave a shallow sigh. 'So I guess... we're... stuck.'

She nodded, but then wasn't sure that he'd seen.

For a few minutes, they sat in silence. It was the kind of silence in which nothing needed to be said, and which neither wanted to break. Both could feel the weight—no pun intended—of their situation pressing down upon their shoulders; the possibility of death, that this could be, in fact, their final resting place.

Then Albus asked, 'Cordelia... are we going to die here?'

The innocence and childishness of his tone struck her. He did not need to elaborate—they could very well have died, either by lack of oxygen or the rock crashing down upon them. Cordelia was aware of that. She wriggled over until they were sitting shoulder to shoulder, and then took his hand.

'No,' she told him. 'No, we're not going to die here.'

'Then how are we going to get out?'

She hesitated. 'I... don't know. We'll find a way.'

He chuckled, but it wasn't with mirth. 'Professor Bell...' Al said slowly. 'He's... he's really dead?'

Cordelia sniffed. 'Yeah.'

'You were there?' he assumed. 'You saw it happen?'

After a pause, Cordelia nodded. 'I just—I kind of... can't believe it. That it happened, you know?'

He put an arm around her. 'I know.' Biting his lip, he added, 'Misty Mumps is dead as well.'

Cordelia leaned onto his shoulder. He felt very comfortable, familiar. The air was thick with dust and something vaguely damp, but she felt safe. There was blood in her hair, and she had never been as terrified as she had been in these past hours, and all of that was momentarily gone. It was gone because she couldn't see it; she couldn't process it. All she had was Albus and the blanket of silence outside their little pocket of coverage.

Misty Mumps was dead? Adrian Bell was? The latter she had seen, and the former she had never expected, and all of it was just too much. Deaths? This was her school—nothing was meant to happen here. The issues should have been fickle; based on romantics and very little else, as they had been the previous year. She shouldn't have been worried for her life.

'Do you know if anyone else is?' Cordelia asked. 'Or just those two?'

'Aren't those two enough?'

She shook her head. 'That's not what I meant.'

Albus sighed again. 'No,' he said. 'I don't know about anyone else. All our friends are safe, that I know of.'

'Andy?'

'Don't make me think about that.'

'I'm sorry.'


(Ravenclaw Common Room)

'Bridget, don't go out there!'

'I have to!' the girl shouted. 'Our friends are out there —we have to do our bit!'

Sarah shook her head. She pulled at Bridget's robes. 'Don't do this. Please. That bloke from the Ministry told us not to leave. He said he'd be back in ten minutes—was he? No! It's been half an hour!'

Bridget glowered at her. 'You do realize Cordelia's out there, don't you? Don't you care about that? She's risking her life—she's our best friend; we have to help out somehow!'

Shelley had, up until this point, been sitting beside the fire, debating whether or not she should have gone out and fought. She'd never been good with monsters; she wasn't brave, she wasn't quick with spells—she would have been more of a liability than an asset. This made her wonder if she was a coward. Perhaps she was. But now she disregarded these thoughts and stood, with a twirl of her faultlessly arranged hair; then made her way toward where Bridget and Sarah were arguing at the door.

'You're scaring the fifth-years,' said Shelley. (Because they were.)

'They should be scared,' said Sarah, 'with all this going on.'

Shelley raised her eyebrows. 'I'm not saying they shouldn't be; I'm just saying whether or not someone goes out there and risks their lives—either because they're forced by being a prefect or because they're ballsy enough—then we should let them make that decision. We shouldn't be arguing about it.'

Bridget looked at Sarah quite smugly, agreeing with what Shelley had said.

'In the mean time,' decided Miss Corner, 'I'm going to go down to Hogsmeade Station. See if they need my help.'


(Frenchman)

Louis Weasley had returned to the Gryffindor common room approximately two hours after he left it. Thankfully, Melissa had still been present, helping to patch up the wounds of those who had gone out to fight and had been injured by either falling debris or hexes or something similar. She had smiled upon seeing him, though the rest of her face held what was clearly a worried expression.

'How are things out there?' she had asked. 'How many spiders are there left?'

'I don't know—I've seen about fifty down. Probably more; I've been staying on the lower floors.' His shoulder was very bloody, and probably broken, and it was at this point in time that Melissa had begun to tend to him.

Now, thirty minutes later, Louis sat in the common room still. In spite of this, he didn't quite feel safe.


April 18


(Countdown)

The Hogwarts Express would be pulling up to Hogsmeade Station in approximately thirty minutes.

Two-hundred and five out of three hundred Acromantula had been disposed of.

(As had four of their opposition.)


(Jason and a beneficial situation he was placed in by an actual architectural corner)

She wasn't sure why venturing up to the school grounds had been a good idea. Her hair was singed; her face sprinkled not only with freckles but also red spots of blood. Merlin, it had only been ten minutes and Molly had almost been taken down in crossfire. What did these Ministry nuts think they were doing?

She turned left around a corner and barreled right into someone. She'd have thought them related; he was tall and dark-haired, like her cousin James, but he was also bespectacled, and less angular, with the kind of build you expected of people who gave good hugs.


(Out of Breath)

'I didn't ever consider the possibility that I'd die like this,' said Albus, with a confusingly sage kind of tone; 'crushed or suffocated under a corridor-worth of rubble with Cordelia Gilbert.'

The Head Girl, whose company he held, forced a smile. 'We're not going to die, Al. This can't be the end for us.'

He considered this. 'Professor Bell would've thought that. Misty Mumps probably did. All of the other people who're dead—they woke up this morning, like us; got dressed, like us; probably complained about a roommate or a lesson, just like we did... none of them thought that the last thing they did today—the last thing they ever did—could ever fairly have been the end for them. We might very well die here. This could be where—'

'—could you please not say that?!' Cordelia yelped, snapping all at once. She succumbed to tears and threw away any attempt at being quiet. She was shaking, and strangled, high-pitched, squeak-like sobs were issuing from her throat. 'I'm seventeen—I've lost my grandmother—and if I die here I'll never have got the chance to say goodbye to Mitch, my parents—I'm meant to work at the Prophet until I get enough money to support myself fully—I had a plan—I was—'

Unable to get the words out, Cordelia gave over to weeping. Her breathing was heavy; her lack of hyperventilation something to marvel at. Albus, who suddenly felt very uncomfortable, let out a sigh. He did not have the heart to tell her to be quiet. At least if a spider found them it would dig out the stone.


(Lonely Boulevard)

Patricia Day had hated Bridget Davies with a passion. The girl had stolen Albus from Patricia's friend, Andy, and had been a very over-devout lover; she had scored Ravenclaw many points in Quidditch games, and was liked by most students who hadn't spent enough time with her for the small "quirks" in Bridget's personality to annoy them.

Somehow, though—it could have been punishment from the universe—the task of stumbling over Bridget's dead body, which was bloody and (in some places) slashed, fell to the Slytherin prefect who had probably liked her least. And, of course, Scorpius.


("How're you doing?")

'You really think now is the time to ask?!' Molly questioned, anxiety heightening the pitch of her voice.

Jason frowned. 'Sorry—you just—you looked worried; I wanted to make you feel better.'

Molly raised her eyebrows. 'Well, thanks. Even though we're in the middle of a battle against spiders. Which are bloody massive. Thanks for wanting to make me feel better. Because I could not physically feel worse right now.'

'Hey,' said Jason, 'at least you're not dead.'


(The Arrival of the Hogwarts Express)

They did not seem to need much instruction on what to do when the train arrived. All of the students boarded it, with the exception of some prefects, who had been instructed to stay behind. (This made Rose decide that, for the day, she hated school responsibility, because there was no point in being a prefect if it got her killed.) Barbara herded the stragglers onto the Hogwarts Express and then did double- and triple-checks to make sure that no one had been left behind who wasn't meant to be.

At the deliverance of the information that this was not the case, and everyone was set to go, the Hogwarts Express pulled out of the station. Barbara sighed heavily; an act mirrored in Kevin Corner, who sat two benches down. He looked over as she approached.

'No more news?' Kevin asked. 'Are they any closer to getting rid of them?'

Barbara shrugged, seating herself on the bench beside Kevin's. So many of them were spare, now, that there was no need to act as though they were friendlier than they were. 'I'm pretty sure I know what you're really asking,' she said slowly. 'And I don't think it's about the Acromantula.'

The Ravenclaw boy raised his eyebrows, then knit them together. 'What do you mean?'

'You asked me before about if I'd heard anything about the prefects up at the castle, and now you're asking me if there's any news; any chance this'll be over in a little bit.' Barbara looked him up and down. Her eyes narrowed, but not negatively. 'You remind me of a friend of mine.'

'Please don't say "James Potter".'


(Roxanne)

Roxanne Weasley was running. She was alone, too, which may have been an incredibly risky thing to be. There were piles of rubble everywhere, the aftermath of about an hour ago when the ground shook so viciously; and as she passed one of them, Roxanne noticed a foot. It was covered with a black leather-toed shoe, but given the sixty degree angle at which the extremity protruded from the rock, she thought there was little hope of its owner being alive.

Roxanne pulled herself to a halt; in front of her sat an Acromantula —large and black and venomous, with hair all over. She watched, frozen, as its beady eyes fixed themselves upon her. Her breath hitched. She'd taken down a few, but the terror started afresh each time she found herself in this situation.

Roxanne took a step back, raising her wand. The beast bared its fangs.


("She can't marry a coffin, Fred.")

'You have to go,' said James, leaning back against the cracked wall and wiping sweat from his brow. At the look he received from his cousin, he added, 'c'mon—we're almost done here anyway. There can't be that many left. You should go.'

Fred glared at him. 'What's the point in going if you're so sure we've already won?'

'Well, there's always the off-chance that we haven't,' he reasoned.

Fred remained sullen, which warranted a shove from the other ex-Gryffindor.

'Come on,' James pressed. 'Go down to the platform; Barbs is waiting there, isn't she? At least I'll know you two are safe.'

'You know I'm safe now, if I'm with you. And Barbara will be fine.'

'She can't marry a coffin, Fred.'

'She won't have to,' Fred snapped. 'We'll be fine.'

James looked at him. 'Fred, I'm giving you an out.'

'I don't want one.'

'Why?'

'It's a luxury our uncle didn't have.'


(Rubble)

Sennen Cartwright had just bumped into Roxanne Weasley on the seventh floor, and was walking around the corridor's opposite fork when she heard the sound of crying.


(Evacuation Day)

The Acromantula was blasted to dust and Scorpius launched himself at Patricia, who was coughing and grime-coated in the aftermath. His hands reached for her; one wiped at her face and the other held her shoulder. His grey eyes searched the brown pair, investigating them for any sign of discontent.

'Are you okay? Are you all right?'

She batted away his fuss. 'I'm fine. Honest.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yes, yeah—I'm not hurt.'

'Well, that's a relief,' said Professor Dryden from somewhere behind them. He hurried over, glancing around to check that they were alone. 'I've been going around and trying to get the word out. We're almost done here; there are only a couple dozen spiders left. Nothing we professors can't handle; along with our Ministry help.'

Scorpius hesitated. 'Are you telling us to leave the castle?'

Professor Dryden nodded at them both. 'It'd be in your best interest.'

The two Slytherins shared a look.

'Both of you can Apparate, yes?'

When they confirmed this, Dryden encouraged them to do so; once they reached Hogsmeade Station, they were to stay there with the other prefects and volunteers until further notice was made, or "until your parents come to get you".

Scorpius smiled. 'Thanks, Professor Dryden.'

'Don't mention it.'


(Emergence and Embrace)

Cordelia's tears slowed, for they had gone on too long anyway, and Albus could hear footsteps in what otherwise would have been silence. They didn't sound like the footsteps of someone who was running. They sounded like someone who was on a search.

Slowly, unsure of what would follow, Al moved up into a kneeling position, where he was closest to their tiny bit of light and air and called, 'is there someone out there?'


(Emergence)

Sennen whirled around. 'Albus?'

She couldn't see him, but she'd heard his voice. That much was definite.

'Albus, where are you?'


(Embrace)

'Sennen?!' he shouted.

Cordelia pulled herself out her huddle against the wall and the two of them heard the response: 'Where are you?!'

'Under the rock!' the Head Girl shouted. 'We're under here—please—please come and get us out!'


("It's Lottie")

The train was long gone, but even so, there were about seventeen Hogwarts students and volunteers who had remained. Not all of them were the prefects who had been there originally, for some of them had accompanied the other students home on the train to ensure that at least some form of decorum was maintained; in fact, at least eleven of them were, to some degree, new arrivals.

Scorpius Malfoy and Patricia Day were sitting together at one of the furthest benches, having arrived ten minutes prior and practically interrogated Kevin Corner for all the things that he knew. Now they relished the solitude, the fresh air of the station, even at one o'clock in the morning (which is, approximately, what it was).

Andy Fawcett was holding her sister Jenna so tight it seemed to be physically paining her, and the former did not seem to be relinquishing her grasp any time soon. Rose and Hugo were speaking manically to Barbara, about the fact that a hefty portion of their family were still up at the castle.

As if on cue, Lily Potter dashed through the doors, all red hair and speed and shock. She burst out onto the platform, staring around at them all—from Rose, immediately in front of her, to Scorpius, who was down the way and who had looked up at Lily's entrance; then her brown eyes returned to her cousin, and her face went white.

'Rose—Rose, I'm so...'

Rose took a step forward, taking her younger cousin into her arms. 'What is it, Lily? What's wrong?'

Lily swallowed. 'It's... it's Lottie, Rose. She's—she's dead.'


(Thirteen Minutes Later)

'They're sending everyone down,' said James absently, watching Barbara and Fred, who were intertwined a few meters away. Lily ignored this, and thankfully, James averted his eyes as the couple began to kiss. 'We hadn't seen an Acromantula for about half an hour before we left. Saw Mum—she said the Ministry people just want to do a few more checks of the entire castle,' he explained, 'to make sure that they're not hiding from us.'

His sister nodded, and was about to continue speaking when she noticed that James's attention was still not focused on her. (Nor was it on Rose, who was being consoled by Molly on the other side of the platform.) 'Who're you looking for?' she asked, a bit snappish. They'd been through a massively traumatic event, after not seeing each other for months, and he couldn't even look at her when they were conversing?

'No one,' James said quickly.

'Convincing.'

He rolled his eyes.


(In Which Andy Plays Some Rugby)

'Albus!' came the initial shout; then, after barely taking one post-Apparition step, the green-eyed boy was tackled to the ground by his girlfriend. 'Oh, thank Merlin you're all right!'

He laughed, winding an arm around her while she clutched at his chest, which was still very horizontal. 'Yeah, I'm all right. You are, too, I presume?'

'Much better now,' said Andy.

Sennen caught Cordelia's eye from a few meters away and mimed throwing up.


(Celebration)

At the news that the castle was completely free of Acromantula, there was much rejoicing. Everyone who was previously up at the school had relocated themselves to Hogsmeade Station, and so the place was packed with fifth- to seventh-years as well as parents and various Ministry personnel.

There was an extreme amount of shrieking and hugging and hullaballoo, and James told Fred very obnoxiously that the first thing he was going to do when he got home was blast some McCartney and dance around in his underwear, to which his cousin replied, 'you're going to pass out. You're knackered.'

Andy and Sennen did a lot of hugging, and Andy and Albus did, too. Cordelia moved a bit further down the platform and, without realizing it, Kevin ran up and threw his arms around her with such force that she was lifted off her feet. (James, who was sobered up after the "knackered" comment, watching on with slight envy. "Slight".)

Patricia and Scorpius dashed over to their friends, surprised at the good fortune that their small group of friends had possessed. There were many funerals to be held for all the casualties, and some of the Ravenclaws were quite worried about how they would take their N.E.W.T. exams with the school destroyed, but overall, everyone was happy.


(Two Is Better Than One)

Fred wound his arm around Barbara, who smiled.

'Everything cleared up with the Weasleys?' she asked cheerfully.

Fred looked at her; possibly understanding just how much he loved her, after being faced with the prospect of not being able to. Whatever flashed across his mind, it involved the girl in his arms.

'Yes, everything's cleared up with the Weasleys. Do you want to head back to our place?'

Barbara tiptoed up to kiss him. 'That would be lovely.'


(The Perfect Two)

Scorpius looked down at Patricia, a grin stretching across his face. 'Want me to take you home?'

She nodded. Their goodbyes to the others had been said. 'I'd like that.'


(Youth)

'This certainly wasn't what I pictured the past half-day being like,' said Andy, leaning into Albus's embrace. She joined him in a slight chuckle. 'I'm serious!'

'I know you are,' he said, 'but come on—this is Hogwarts. Something had to happen.'


(Hello, Goodbye)

Kevin offered to stay until Cordelia left, but she told him to go ahead. Then, giving her friends and everybody else the space they needed, she went to find herself a free place to sit and just think; to mull over the events of the past day—Adrian's death, Bridget's; how rotten she felt that she physically had no tears left to cry in lamentation for either of them. She felt like the worst person imaginable, and she could imagine a lot of bad people.

Needless to say, Miss Gilbert had been successfully "mulling" for about three minutes when someone approached.

James exhaled heavily as he sat down, and looked out at the view for a second, the emptiness that had previously been occupied by a train. The only light anyone had was coming from wands and the lamps above their heads. Cordelia didn't know what he wanted.

'I see you and Plain Jane are still going strong,' James observed.

Cordelia raised her eyebrows. 'Kevin dumped me a week ago.'

James raised his eyebrows; his face making it apparent that he found the whole idea quite humorous. 'He dumped you?'

'Don't look so pleased.'

'I'm not,' he said, very unconvincingly. Clearing his throat, he repeated, 'I'm not.'

After a moment, Cordelia shook her head. 'I hate you.'

James looked her up and down, then smirked. 'Nah, you don't.'


(And that, dear readers, was that.)