Thank you to all my loyal readers, I'm very glad that people are enjoying this little bit of insanity.
This is update 52, a rather important number as it serves to mark my one year of uninterrupted publishing of this story on a weekly basis. I'm so happy that so many people have enjoyed the ride thus far, and hope many more will come along for the next year. And now a word from the beta:
I get heaps of satisfaction for my vengeful and Celtic side (three-eighths of my genetic heritage, the other five bits you do not want to know), which can hold a grudge for literally decades, out of Series of unfortunate overhearings, silentmagi's fantastically vengeful and destructive fic series, which is about how a series of DADA teachers repeatedly hand that manipulative and obtuse Dumbles his arse and how Harry and Hermione, despite being obliviated after each DADA teacher's departure, escape Dumbles and his manipulations and the effects of the DADA teachers.
http : / bit . ly / pLdXdB is the primary list that I'm picking from, feel free to e-mail with suggestions for more.
"Good morning, students," Professor McGonagall stated warmly as she watched the students trickling in to the emergency meeting that had been called for the momentous announcement that was to occur. Once all the students had focused their attention on her, she waved her hand towards the table full of the Board of Governors. "The Governors have been so kind as to come and inform the school of the emergency replacement for our dearly departed former headmaster Dumbledore."
"As you might be aware, for the past week I have been serving as the interim Headmistress. After much debate the council has chosen the new headmaster that will best serve Hogwarts and the students," the hopeful for the permanent position continued as a member of the board stood up and strode forwards.
"Thank you, Madam McGonagall," the man stated as he stood in front of the assembled students and staff. "I would like to extend my thanks, and that of the Board of Governors to all the students who joined us for this monumental day in Hogwarts' history. As the good professor said, I am here to announce the choice of the Board of Governors to replace the vacant Headmaster spot."
"In the course of their duties here, the Headmaster will often appoint a member of their staff to serve as a Deputy Headmaster or Deputy Headmistress and usually we would defer to them as the next head of the castle," the man explained, drawing a suspicious look from McGonagall who had assumed that she was to be the next Headmistress of Hogwarts. From the shocked and nervous looks on the faces of the other staff members, it was a suspicion that was shared by all of them.
Two pairs of eyes among the students turned towards the assembled Board of Governors where one particular member was smirking. It would have to be the one member of the entire line-up that they dreaded to see anything but utter and broken helplessness on their face. "Please welcome our new headmaster, Lucius Malfoy."
The sound of silence was nearly deafening, until finally a soft giggle broke out. As every head whipped around towards the usual two suspects, who were strangely silent as they looked about in confusion. They searched the assembled personages to see if they could find the source. It turned out to be coming from the staff table, where one Minerva McGonagall was giggling insanely as she calmly drew out her wand.
It was about a second before the spells began flying that Harry and Hermione both found their way towards the exit, following the Defense Instructors on their retreat from the Great Hall. "Sir Hellsing? Why are we retreating?"
"The idiots deserve anything that's about to happen to them," Integra pointed out calmly as she rounded a corner. "Now pack up, I think our tenure is up."
Any further conversation was cut off as Hermione and Harry split off to make their way to Gryffindor, they had trunks to pack and escapes to make. It was almost funny that they had discussed their plans for leaving Hogwarts before it came crashing down around their ears. Hopefully, plan A would work and they could just fade into obscurity in some distant country, because plan B of Harry becoming a world travelling super-Auror that went by the name of Mr. Black with his travelling companion the Dark Lady Erudite Empress wasn't quite fully put together.
For one, they couldn't find a single shop that would sell Hermione a full set of black dragon scale body suit and corsets. Another problem they were coming up with was getting Harry access to the amazing spells and skills he would need to survive. The tricky part about their memories not being complete was annoying, but they could overlook it for now as most of plan B involved them not being completely sane.
However, as they rushed into the Gryffindor tower on their way to make their great escape, the pair of fleeing students slammed into a strange glass and steel construct that had appeared in their path, just before the door slammed shut and a shroud of red-lightning coated the outside of the box. Just before they could scream it appeared that the floor simply vanished from a square under the box itself. The phone booth dropped down into the bluish-white square that had been formed, a square which vanished a moment later.
In the shadows two men began discussing why they had just witnessed. "And... that is how we save the world, so if you mind me..." the first pointed out with a victorious smirk to his voice, before adding, giving a mild salute, "Be excellent to each other..."
"But what about all the wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff?" the second protested with a petulant tone. "We also have to fix their minds and..."
"All things you failed to do, but I shall succeed at," the first countered as a massive explosion ripped through the castle. "Now, we should leave before something really bogus happens..."
"Right, well if you'll excuse me, I need to meet up with my niece a few years after that excellent adventure your saviours have," the second answered as a blue police box appeared to his right. A moment later he was inside and it vanished with several unearthly sounds.
"Never could remember to take off the parking brake... could he?" the first replied to the air with a shake of his head.
A whisper of static charge build up later, he found another phone booth waiting for him. Slipping on a pair of sunglasses he chuckled as he stepped into the booth, dialling a number before hitting the star and hash keys and hanging up, "Now, dudes, we're history."
Just before the phone booth vanished once again, another explosion shook the castle covering the disappearance of two rather infamous students. As when the booth disappeared, so too did the entire Gryffindor tower.
