First: I don't own the Harry Potter universe or characters, I do own however any OC's.
Quote origin:Scar, Jane Eyre
I am not an angel," I asserted; and I will not be one till I die: I will be myself.
Chapter:The Full Circle Breakdown
1994
June
Lyrisadora surprised Angelina when she laughed as some Knotgrass mead was splashed on her. "You really can't handle your alcohol Angie," laughed Fred in amusement, leaning back, the forest ground dry from the summer weather. The four teens relaxing after attending the Weird sisters concert an hour previous.
Lyrisadora felt light headed, her mind never feeling more carefree, she plopped next to George and snuggled up against him.
"Cold," she muttered, he hesitated for a moment before wrapping his jacket around her and letting her snuggle against him, ignoring Fred's arched eyebrow and Angelina's giggle.
For the first time, consequences didn't enter Lyrisadora's mind, or how her action would reflect to the others. Right now she didn't care about anything except getting warmer. A contemplation entered her mind briefly, as she wondered if this was what being 'free' was.
The hard slap form her father afterwords, taught her otherwise.
July
"Draco hurry up or we're going to be late!" called Narcissa as she examined herself in the huge fireplace mirror, herself dressed formal along with Lyrisadora and Lucius as they waited for Draco, so they could Floo to the St Mungos fundraising concert.
"What is taking that boy so long?" grumbled Lucius, looking around the room, his eyes landing on Lyrisadora, he frowned once he noticed some ink on her cheek. "Lyrisadora you've got ink on you cheek," he commented irritably, reaching out to rub it off.
Lyrisadora flinched back away from his hand in alarm, causing Lucius to tense and Narcissa to look concerned.
"What on earth is the matter sweetheart?" Narcissa inquired worriedly. There was a pause, Lyrisadora's eyes flickering to her father who had stiffened, evident fear in her eyes, as the reminder of his reaction and actions when he discovered she had snuck out to see the Weird sisters without his permission, stayed prominent in both father and daughter's minds.
"...Nothing mother."
August
Her mind was racing when she caught sight of the Dark mark in the air, herself being grabbed by her mother and apperated home before she could utter a scream.
Her mind still focused on the mark, it's image embedded in her mind. Only pausing from these thoughts when she heard her parents arguing and her father stumbling past, partly drunk, looking very pleased with himself. Causing her lips to absently form a sneer and eyes to narrow, feeling only disgust for her father as something inside of her started to break.
September
And the twin will die. The twin will die, the twin will die, why are you so weak?
"Shut up!" she screamed, waking up from another nightmare, breathing rapidly as her eyes watered, forcing herself to calm down as she closed her eyes and turned over in her bed, hoping that no one in her dormitory had heard her scream aloud. Lucretia rustling in her bed as the room remained silent. Lyrisadora swallowed a lump in her throat and rubbed her face into her pillow, swallowing a whimper as she tried to get back to sleep.
October
"The answer is still no Fred, that goes for you to George-tell Lee it goes double for him as well," Lyrisadora snapped, her patience far past its limit.
"Oh come on! We'll probably not even be picked, all you have to do is just slip-"Fred argued.
Her eyes narrowed. "The rules are there for a reason, the TwiWizard Tournament is dangerous, people have died in it and I won't risk your lives like that!" she argued, her tone turning frantic.
Fred and George looked taken aback. "Don't you think you're being a tad overdramatic," George reasoned.
"No I'm being realistic...you have to stop trying to enter, please just stop, I can't lose you two," she pleaded, a large lump forming in her throat as she looked between them.
George still looked puzzle, but yielded nonetheless. "Alright...we promise...just relax already, you sound like an hysterical banshee."
November
"You know my birthday is coming up," Adrian stated, appearing from behind a bookshelf as Lyrisadora was reading 'History of Alchemy', her half finished Alchemy essay partly covered by a pile of books on the table.
"Then I'll get you a new book, how does 'The art of learning how to accept the word no' sound?" she drawled, turning the page of her book.
"A bit wordy, if I say so myself. I would prefer. 'The benefits of friendship: explicit'," he countered, smirking as he came to sit next to her.
"I thought we moved past this?" she sighed, closing her book to glance up at Adrian, barely able to keep herself from frowning.
"True, but what would our friendship be without some good old banter?" he argued amusingly, leaning back in his chair.
"A healthy one."
"And why would we want that?"
December
"Cedric, you don't have to pretend anymore, if you want to go out with Cho, then go," Lyrisadora reassured, herself staring out unto the courtyard as the music from the inside hummed out, the Hogwarts Christmas ball still very much alive.
Cedric sighed. "...Because it still feels wrong, we dated for three years, shouldn't their still be something?"
"Do you feel anything?" she asked softly.
"...No...but how can I be sure about it, after everything that's happened-"
Lyrisadora cut him off with a single kiss on the lips, his eyes widening in shock as she pulled away. "Feel anything?" she inquired gently, receiving a long silence. "Then go be with her, because there's nothing left to feel."
He looked at her, hesitating for a moment before walking away. Her lips felt dry as her heart stung for just a second as she watched him walk away.
1995
January
"Be careful!" Lyrisadora yelled, pulling George away from the icy lake edge, herself eyeing the icy lake with paranoia, before forcing George further away.
Fred and George looked at her with Confusion.
"What's the issue, Lyra, we were only messing around," George reasoned, getting out of her firm grip.
"Yeah you're being worse than our mother," Fred commented, rolling his eyes.
"Last time I checked we weren't made from glass, especially this one," George added, knocking on Fred's skull. "Fred's got a skull thicker than Dragon skin, no way he's breaking anytime soon."
Lyrisadora swallowed, her eyes holding concern . "I'm sorry, you know me, worrying all the time over nothing," she apologised, trying to smooth it all over."That's my problem, I worry too much."
"You don't normally worry this much," George pointed out, exchanging a look with Fred.
Lyrisadora swallowed as she chose her next words carefully. "Well ever since I went missing last year, I thought a lot about what if I never was able to see you two again, so I suppose I'm just...scared," she reasoned, earning some amused looks.
Fred ruffled her hair, much to her annoyance. "Awww, I always knew you were sentimental. We wove you too wyra," he cooed, earning a growl and whack around the head from the said girl, a ghost of a smile etched on her lips.
February
"I just don't understand why you have to be so vile!" Lyrisadora spat, glaring at her brother, ignoring the stinging in her head.
Draco fixed her with a fierce look. "I still don't understand why you act so weak."
"Don't you dare call me that-"
"But it's true," Draco challenged, causing his sister to falter. "I thought you had started to change and then I see you being best friends with the Weasleys again, but this time worse because you're with that Mudblood Granger," he growled.
"It wasn't intentional, we were studying together-for goodness sake Draco, I barely know her!" Lyrisadora hissed, trying to make her brother see sense.
He was silent for a moment, his fingers twitched slightly, his eyes cold and for the first time she saw something she didn't like. "I don't even know why I bother anymore," he said icily, refusing to elaborate as he left her alone, her eyes stinging slightly as she watched his retreating form.
March
"So think you'll end up head girl next year?" Adrian inquired nonchalantly as he and Lyrisadora patrolled the corridors while on prefect duty.
"I haven't really given it much thought, lately my mind feels like bits are missing," she replied, rubbing her tired eyes.
Adrian studied her. "Not much sleep again?" he assumed.
A simple nod was her response. "How do you deal with the nightmares?" she asked, refusing to look at him,Adrian perfectly aware of what she was talking about. The corridors seemed to become darker.
He paused before answering. "I don't get them, so I don't have to," he answered plainly.
Lyrisadora felt an empty feeling in her stomach. "I dream about the fire, and Balik screaming, it's all blurry and I can't seem to stop thinking about it," she continued, her voice having an edge to it.
"You need to stop dreaming about being the victim," Adrian said coldly. "Then it won't be a nightmare anymore."
She turned a little pale when she realised the meaning behind his words, feeling slightly sick. After that she didn't tell him about her nightmares anymore.
April
"I've told you, you have to mean the spell you utter," reprimanded Lucius, scowling at his daughter.
Lyrisadora had her back to him, as they both stood in the duelling room of the manor, she hid a scowl as she clenched her fists. "I'm sorry father," she replied, forcing the resentment from her tone. This was not how she imagined spending her Easter break. "I am trying," she added tensely, turning to him.
"I'm a busy man Lyrisadora, I don't have to spend my time teaching you these advanced spells," her father said icily.
"I appreciate your teachings, father. I'm sorry I am not reaching your expectations," she apologised, barely able to keep the sarcasm from her tone as she felt her frustration grow.
He appeared to have heard the hint of sarcasm as his eyes grew colder. "Do the spell again and this time do it right," he ordered, a sharp edge to his tone. Lyrisadora swallowed a sigh and turned back to the half destroyed target statue. "And remember, actions speak louder than words," he added lightly, the expectance in his tone clear.
"I bet they do," she murmured bitterly before drawing her wand out again.
May
"Obliviate," hissed the man who most certainly was not Mad-Eyed-moody. Lyrisadora felt her mind go fuzzy and the hand holding her wand slack, appearing dazed as the imposter grabbed his remaining potion ingredients and hurried away.
Her mind felt in jumbles when she recounted the potion ingredients in front of her, feeling a familiar sensation of deja vu. The next day Professor Snape yelled at her in frustration as she miss-marked the potion ingredients for the sixth time in a row.
June
Her body felt cold when she laid eyes on Cedric's still body,Potter's screams fading into the background, her breath staying stuck in her throat, unable to escape. It was becoming harder to see as the world appeared blurry and the wind became more evident on her cheeks. It took her a moment to realise she was crying.
The empty feeling was back, but it hurt more, like she was starving and her body was cold against the hot tears that never seemed to stop falling. She removed the charm bracelet he had given her when they were children, she couldn't stand to look at it anymore.
July
She had realised what the name of the feeling in her stomach was, it was a mixture of horror and dread, stirred together to make her stomach churn and body weak, she felt like she was about to vomit. The door that she had been shoved out of, shutting behind her like a casket lid.
Vold-no she couldn't even think his name as he stood right in front of her, red eyes piercing hers. "You're father praises you my dear, such confidence in your abilities," the Dark lord stated smoothly, his non-existent lips forming a cold smile.
She opened her mouth to speak, to say something or to utter a reply out of a fear that he would be angered by her silence, but it was like she had forgotten how to speak. There was no way out, all previous opportunities of escape had been missed. Her head was hot and she couldn't think straight and the Dark lord wanted a reply.
His scarlet eyes flickered to her arm, she swallowed some vomit, her mouth glued stuck like a permanent sticking charm. They both knew there were only two ways this would end. She held out her left arm, her eyes meeting his, a mixture of panic and confusion. His smile became that of satisfaction as he took her presented arm by the wrist, drawing his wand to the pale skin. In seconds her skin was sliced through, burned and cut into. She couldn't bring herself to scream, because she understood now, in a way she had sealed her own fate. She had stayed loyal to her family and this was her reward.
"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?"
-Lewis Carroll, Alice in wonderland
two updates in one day, awesome!
Next chapter will be 'The Interlude' which wont really be a chapter, more of a short intro. Then after that it's a short time skip!
also I've kinda fallen in love with alice in wonderland quotes...(you were warned)
