Chapter 51: I don't want to be part of the problem
Summer was coming to a close, and Jay and Emma's relationship was going pretty well. There were times when it got a little rocky, but Jay was handling it better than he expected. It was a new feeling for him, one that he wouldn't trade for anything.
This was good, for Jay, and for Emma. Things were going smoothly, for the most part, and besides the whole moving in thing, Jay and Emma were moving slow. There were no weird moments, no awkward silences, and neither of them had brought up the L word yet. They were living together, and enjoying it, but neither of them were ready to admit that they are falling in love.
Although neither of them were prepared to admit it, Jay and Emma had two very different reasons for not wanting to say those three little words to each other. It was something that had to do with the past, and neither Jay nor Emma, were too keen on talking about it. That was part of the reason why the two worked so well with each other, yet at the same time, it was also a problem.
Now, as Jay stood in the doorway to the bedroom, just staring at Emma, he realized she was in one of her 'moods'. Even though Jay still didn't have a clue as to how to handle her when she was like this, he couldn't help but smirk at how cute and sexy she looked while she stared intensely at the computer screen.
Whenever Emma had to do something, she was in it one hundred percent, a very good quality, but also a curse at times. And even though it was getting colder outside, Emma sat on their bed in a pair of short pajama shorts and a light green babydoll that had random white splatters all over it. Beside her was her purple throw blanket, which had funky green flowers on it.
As Emma moved her hand to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, Jay noticed the computer screen. It wasn't its usual graphic design program Emma used to work with, or the paint shop program she used when she fooled around with photography. He couldn't read it from the doorway, but Jay knew Emma was checking her email, and he knew she was not happy. He sighed quietly, unsure if he should go in there, or turn back around. Usually Jay could deal with anything, but this, when Emma was like this, Jay just didn't know what to do.
Cautiously, Jay entered the room, sitting behind her on the bed. He kissed her cheek, "Hey," and began massaging her neck.
"Not now Jay, please," Emma responded as she quickly changed screens.
"It's just a neck massage," Jay replied. He figured Emma was telling him she wasn't 'in the mood'. Jay could feel how tense she was as he applied pressure to the bottom of her neck.
"Mmm," Emma murmured, closing her eyes.
"What's got you so tense?" Jay asked, his voice a little lower than normal so Emma stayed in the peaceful state he had just put her in.
"It's nothing," Emma said quickly.
"You know you can talk to me, right?" Jay queried. Part of him felt like Emma didn't trust him and he really didn't like that.
"I know," Emma answered.
Jay nodded once before he decided to press the issue a little bit, "It's just that, you get," He paused, trying to find the right word to use, "Unapproachable and hard to be around sometimes, and I don't want to make it any worse," Jay finished as he continued massaging her neck muscles.
Stopping him, Emma moved so she was facing him. "I don't mean to," Emma looked at him intently, "It's not you. It's just," She paused, "I don't like to talk about it, okay?"
"Yeah," Jay gave her a small smile, "As long as you don't take my head off," He said, joking a bit.
"When I do, get like this, just remind me, like you did now," She returned his small smile.
"It's nothing big, right?" Jay turned a bit more serious, "Like it's nothing that's happening now, like you aren't in trouble or anything, right?"
Emma smiled softly at him, touched by his concern for her, "No, it happened in the past. I just, I keep getting reminded of it, and it still hurts," Emma's smile faded, "I can't talk about it anymore."
"Okay," Jay gave her a small kiss, allowing the subject to be dropped.
